Finding Acceptance in His Arms (16 page)

“Jess,”
the girl answered and handed over an
identical
notepad and pen.

“Jess,
may fortune always favor you, Karan Gibbs.” She winked at the blushing girl as
she returned the pad and pen.

“My
name is Tina.” The last girl handed over yet another identical notepad and pen.
She had long, black hair and
an innocent-looking
face.

“Tina,
may fortune always court you, Karan Gibbs.”

“Thank
you very much, Miss Gibbs.” Jess appeared on the verge of tears.

“No,
no. I want to thank you nice young ladies for coming over and speaking to me.
Without fans, I have no
career. It was you three,
along with other fans just like you, who made it possible for me to transition
into movies. I only hope I continue to make you proud of me.”

“Would
you girls like to take a photograph with Miss Karan so your friends will
definite
ly believe you?” Evan asked. “I’m sure Miss
Karan wouldn’t mind.”

“Can
we? Really?” the brunette asked, digging a phone out of her purse while beaming
a delighted smile. The other two girls started hopping up and down in
a frenzy
.

“How
can I possibly say n
o?” Kara smiled proudly at the
reverence given to her.

“If
you girls want, you all can huddle up around her and I’ll take a few for you,”
Evan offered.

“Okay!”
Claire exclaimed.

Evan
urged Kara from the booth. He quickly took possession of Claire’s phone
to snap several pictures. Then each of the girls used their
own phones to take selfies with Kara. Once the photographing was finished, the
girls scrolled through their phones, giggling wildly.

“Now,
I hope you young ladies won’t be too disappointed but we
have somewhere we have to be shortly,” Evan announced.

“That’s
okay,” Claire spoke directly to Kara. “We’re just so glad to have met you and
also for you letting us take pictures with you. People will have to believe us
now.”

“Hey,
say your goodbyes,” Evan
said to Kara. “I see a cab
coming down the street. I’m going to go stop it. So please hurry.”

Kara
watched him jog outside. She turned to the girls, giving them all an individual
hug. “I’m really sorry, but I have to go now.”

“One
last thing,” Claire prom
pted.

Kara
cut her eyes at Evan again. He held the door to cab open. She looked back at
Claire. “Yes?”

“Is
that your boyfriend?”

“Oh
no.”
She winced from already wondering how the pictures in the girl’s phones would
be construed on the various social netwo
rks since she
was supposed to be in Fiji this week instead of Atlanta. She quickly added,
“We’re only close friends.”

“Well,
I think he’s really hot!” Claire gushed.

“Thank
you. I’ll tell him you said so. Bye for now.” She hustled outside to let Evan
help
her into the cab.

“Who
in the fuck is Karan Gibbs?” Evan asked as soon as the cab took off down the
street. He stared at Kara like they’d just pulled off a bank caper.

She
fiddled with her pocketbook strap to bide for time. There was only one of two
ways s
he could play this now. Tell him the whole
truth like she’d intended before the trio of girls interrupted her, or spin
another lie.

Letting
out a guilty sigh, she said, “Karan Gibbs is my first cousin on my daddy’s
side. We look identical; people really ca
n’t tell us
apart. She’s also a very successful actress on Broadway.”

“Do
what?” Evan gawked.

“I
said Karan Gibbs is my cousin. You can do an Internet search and I guarantee
you’ll think it’s me in the pictures that will come up. Our resemblance to each
ot
her is uncanny. It’s like we’re identical twins,
except we came from different parents. Oh yeah, she just happened to get famous
for acting and I didn’t.”

Sympathy
encompassed Evan’s face. He took hold of her hand. “Is that why you’re so
determined to beco
me famous? Because she did and you
have some sort of rivalry going on with her?”

“Maybe
that’s part of it. I don’t really know.” She kept her eyes downcast, despising
herself for telling yet another pack of lies. But the trio of girls in the
donut shop had
burst the protective bubble she’d
shared with him. She couldn’t tell him the truth now. Maybe she’d find a way
later tonight.

“Well,
I wouldn’t worry about her success too much. Just think of all the fun she
can’t have in this digital age of cell phones e
quipped
with cameras. Everyone and their siblings are trying to cash in on movie stars’
misdeeds. They can’t go anywhere without being recognized,” Evan said and then
squeezed Kara’s hand for emphasis. “That’s the main reason fame isn’t worth
anything to m
e. I don’t want my picture to be on the
front page of some celebrity rag under the headline, ‘Sexual Deviant Exposed.’
I’m sure you don’t want that either so you’re luckier than her. She just
doesn’t have enough sense to know it.”

“I
don’t know,” Kara admi
tted. “She lives a pretty good
life in the limelight.”

“Just
wait until she becomes a full-fledged movie star and you’ll hear her bitching
and moaning about how she can’t enjoy a dinner out without the paparazzi
invading her privacy. The limelight won’t be
so much
fun to her then. Let me tell you another thing, no amount of fame and fortune
is worth more to me than what we did together last night. I don’t think it is
to you either.”

“It
was pretty nice,” she agreed, remembering the wonderful sexual freedom
she’d enjoyed within her anonymity.

“So
don’t let her mainstream success get you down. You will be celebrated for being
yourself, not some fake version of yourself that a publicist creates for you.
And above all else, always remember that no one lies as mu
ch as Hollywood does, because their whole industry relies
on deception. At least what you’ll be doing in porn will be genuinely you. So
be proud you won’t be living a lie like your cousin.”

“I
suppose,” Kara answered, knowing he spoke the truth. Wasn’t she
lying on the social networks every single day of her life?
Didn’t she always strive to make people think she was the quintessential good
Southern girl so they would like her?

She
grieved that she’d changed so much from her original self since striving aft
er fame and fortune. The truth of the matter declared that
she’d worked so hard to become Karan Gibbs that Kara Gibson had become a
distant memory. Even to her.

“Come
on. Shake it off,” Evan urged. “Gloom and doom isn’t attractive on anyone.
We’re going to
my sister’s, remember? And then I’m
taking you somewhere else that you’re really going to enjoy.”

“If
you say so,” she tried to concentrate on the positive aspects of her life
instead of the negative. Tonight, before their date ended, she would find the c
ourage to confess her great love for him along with every
shameful detail of her deception. Then, once his initial shock subsided, she
would reveal her grandiose plan to keep them together long-term.

She
looked out the window of the cab at the hum-drum of
bustling
Atlanta while she kept reminding herself that it was a good plan, a foolproof
plan, and one that he might actually agree to if he could find it in his heart
to forgive her for deceiving him and then love her back.

“Damn
you, Trevor,” Evan whispere
d underneath his breath as
he stared at his phone. He canted the screen so Kara could see the text. “He’s
still badgering me to star in my latest script. That guy just won’t give up.”

“But
it would jeopardize your moonlighting and you don’t want that,” she
stated the obvious. “Besides, it might make you famous and
you don’t want that either.”

Evan’s
face lit up. “Thank you! It’s so refreshing to have finally met someone who
understands me and my motivations in life. You really are a breath of fresh
air. Bet
hany’s going to love meeting you, by the way.
It’s the first time I’ll have ever introduced her to anyone in the business. So
there might be some questions.”

“What
do I tell her if she asks how we met and what we’re doing together? I just
don’t want to off
end her in any way.”

“Tell
her the truth. She’s a very open-minded person. But don’t
worry,
I can assure you that she will find you fascinating.”

“Okay.”

“And
here we are.” Evan announced as the cab slowed to a stop in front of a brick
apartment building i
n an upper-class neighborhood.

Across
the street a picturesque park basked in the glow of late evening sunshine.
Well-dressed people were strolling about and sitting on benches, as well as
having picnics on the lush grass. All in all, it appeared everythin
g was right in the world on this side of the city.

Yet,
a foreboding sensation crept up Kara’s legs the moment she stepped from the
cab. She couldn’t explain it, other than it reminded her of the day her aunt
had picked her up early from school to tell her
that
her parents had succumbed to injuries sustained in a horrific car accident.

In
a daze, she walked with Evan up the steps, watched him buzz an apartment,
then
followed him through the front door to
the elevator. The moment the elevator started ascendi
ng
she leaned back against the wall in hopes of getting her equilibrium back.

“Are
you all right?” Evan regarded her with obvious concern. “You look sick all of a
sudden.”

She
managed a subtle shake of her head, not fathoming what could be wrong, but
knowing that something was badly off. She grimaced. “Please
stop the elevator from moving. I’m getting a little dizzy.”

Evan
stabbed the emergency stop button and the elevator jerked to a halt. Quickly
wrapping an arm around her shoulders, he pulled her cl
ose.

The
overwhelming sensation of unspeakable dread slowly dissipated. Everything
seemed all right again. She took a deep, cleansing breath and let it out,
saying, “Whatever it was, it’s passed. I’m fine now.”

“Are
you sure?” Evan’s eyes searched her face
. “I can
always come back by Bethany’s later if you want me to take you home so you can
lie down.”

“No.
I’m fine now.” She leaned into his embrace, loving him all the more for his
protectiveness. No one, not even Jennifer, made her feel as safe and secure
as him. So, becoming emboldened, she whispered, “Maybe it
was only lovesickness. Because if you’ve haven’t noticed, I’ve fallen in love
with you and I’m really scared you won’t love me back.”

There,
she’d said it, and there was no taking it back.

Evan
said
nothing.
Absolutely nothing at all.
He also didn’t tense up or release hold
of her.

“Say
something,” she prompted.

Instead,
he kissed her on the top of the head.

As
much as she liked his endearing gesture, it was simply too ambiguous. “That’s
not really a
reply, Evan.”

He
let out a ragged breath. “I’m sorry, Kara, but after last night I’m doing
everything I can to not fall more in love with you than I already have.”

“Why
not?
What’s wrong with loving me?” She drew her head back, eyes centering on his
tortu
red countenance.

“Nothing
at all.
It’s something to do with myself and nothing whatsoever to do with you.”

“Please
tell me why you can’t love me back.”

“I’m
a very possessive guy. How can it ever work out between us with you entering
the porn industry? I s
imply can’t stand the thought
of you fucking another man. And even worse than that, I can’t fuck only one
woman for the rest of my life. I just can’t do that. It’s not in my DNA.”