Finding Her Way (6 page)

“Hello. Please call me, Olivia,” she said, purring in a heavy southern accent.

Mr. Bisset interrupted their introduction by stepping in between the two women. He looked at Olivia as if he wanted to devour her, “Olivia, this is Jak. She’s the one who helped me get you here.”

Jerrica almost fell over. Did John just compliment her publicly?

“Jack? I thought Jack was a man,” Olivia responded in a callous nature.

“Sorry to disappoint you, but no, I’m not a man. My initials spell Jak. It’s kind of a nickname for people who know me well. My name is actually Jerrica.”

Olivia looked uncomfortable with the new revelation.

John, not noticing the sudden tension, continued his introductions, “Oh, I almost forgot to introduce you to Olivia’s assistant.”

Standing just out of view on her left was the woman Jerrica had seen in the bathroom.

“Ms. Kerrison, this is Ms. Jeffery.”

Stepping forward, she shook Jerrica’s hand. Her face lit up when they touched. “I’m Madison.”

Jerrica couldn’t stop herself from staring into Madison’s eyes. The color was a deep shade of brown with gold flakes around the iris. She could get lost in those eyes. When she smiled, they sparkled. Lightly tanned skin accentuated her full and inviting lips. Madison’s unfamiliar scent was pleasing. Jerrica let her eyes close briefly to inhale the enchanting aroma. When she opened them, she realized Madison was looking at her intently. Releasing the grip, Jerrica observed Madison’s eyes taking the liberty to size her up. She didn’t know if she should be flattered or embarrassed. She blushed self-consciously.
 

Madison was trying, without great success, to hold back a giggle at Jerrica’s shyness.

Jerrica looked around the small group of people to see if anyone else was witnessing their interaction. She was very pleased to see that John and Olivia were in deep conversation and hadn’t even noticed the exchange.

“Well, it was nice to meet everyone,” Jerrica said, wanting to make a quick exit. Welcome, both of you, to the company. When is your first official day?” She directed her question to Olivia.

“Oh, we want to start right away. I will be moving my office in on Monday,” Olivia said, responding with schoolchild excitement.

“Great. Then I’ll see you around. It was nice to meet you, Olivia, and you as well, Madison. We’ll have to do lunch once you get settled in,” said Jerrica, excusing herself from the group.

Walking into her office, she turned to take a peek at the new PR department standing near her office. To her surprise, Madison was gazing in her direction with a grin on her face. Jerrica involuntarily blushed again and closed the door. Leaning back on her door, she envisioned Madison’s bodily features. She hadn’t missed that Madison filled out her blouse very well and her pants had a nice curve to them in the back. Jerrica felt an unexpected rush of heat from deep inside.

“Jerrica, stop,” she scolded herself aloud. “It’s so unprofessional to ogle the new employee.”

Pausing a second, she heard the group of voices outside her office start to fade into the distance. Clearing her mind with a shake of her head, she moved back to her chair. Once settled in, she started working on quarterly reports. She would be sending her projected financial reports to her clients in a little more than a month. These reports were never part of the contract when clients signed with this company. She felt that giving them a little extra information free of charge is what kept them loyal patrons.

Scribbling notes on her worksheet, she cursed when her pencil broke.

Wonderful, what else won’t go my way today? she griped silently.

Opening up her top drawer to claim her pencil sharpener, she encountered the new phone again. Her memory flashed images of the evening’s events with Devin. Retrieving the phone, she placed it on the top of her desk. Jerrica’s mind was numb on what to do next. Suddenly, like a flip of a switch, she remembered the letter. Relocating her laptop a little to the side, she pulled on the corner of the envelope until it was free from its hidden home. Jerrica tapped the corner of the envelope on her desk then spun it in her fingers to tap the other corner of the envelope in nervous anticipation. She was extremely worried about what Devin had to say. Finding her letter opener, she opened the top with one smooth motion of her wrist. Carefully taking the letter out, she placed the empty envelope and letter opener on her desk. Taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly, she unfolded the letter and began reading.

My Dearest Jerrica,

You know me better than anyone I’ve ever known. You should understand how hard it is for me to open up and share my emotions with you. I wanted to say I’m sorry for last night. It wasn’t my intention to invite you into my home and assume we could pick up where we left off. I had planned to talk to you. I wanted to tell you what I was feeling. Unfortunately, having you in my place, seeing you at my breakfast table, brought back so many great memories that my old habits took control and I made a fool out of myself coming on to you. I won’t deny that I wanted you, but I promise you that is not why I asked you there. I’ve been thinking a lot about you, about us.
 

I know our relationship was never smooth and I blame myself for all the problems we had. You were only being open, honest, and loving when we were together. Moreover, all I gave you in return was secrets, lies, and pain. I know now what I did was very selfish, but I wouldn’t have admitted that when we were together. I have tried in the past few months to understand where I went wrong for myself and for you. I found I was afraid to let love into my life. I was afraid to let you love me. I found that my world is a very lonely place without you. I want you to know that I’ve missed you so much. I am so sorry for hurting you. I can never take back the things I’ve said, or the hurtful things I’ve done or I didn’t do when we were together. However, I want us to try again. I want to show you how much I’ve changed. Show you the real me. Please give me a chance.

Lovingly,

Devin

PS. The phone is a gift from me. Please don’t ask me to return it. I want you to have it.

Jerrica sat at her desk staring blankly at the letter. Setting it down, Jerrica felt hurt, frustrated and confused. She had spent months trying to get past the tornado that was Devin Daniel and now she saw herself stepping backward into the pain, instead of moving forward into her future. She turned to her computer and opened up a blank e-mail. Addressing it to Devin, she wrote:

Devin,

I received your letter. Thank you for returning my briefcase. Thank you so much for the phone. You really shouldn’t have.

I need time.

I need to know first...

Have you admitted to your parents that you’re gay.

Jerrica

She sat back in the chair, gazing at her computer screen, debating if she should hit send. Letting out the breath she was holding, she leaned forward, placing her hand on the mouse. Hesitating briefly, she clicked the button to send the e-mail. Grabbing the screen on her laptop, she closed her computer. At one time in her life she had been in love with this woman. For the first time in a long time, she felt overwhelmed with life and wanted to cry. There were too many emotions coming at her all at once.

Pressing the intercom to her assistant, Jerrica conveyed that she was not to be disturbed the rest of the day. She was going to lock herself in and get some important work finished.

“We are still on for the Cape, right?” Lauren asked.

“Yes, we are,” she answered before ending the call.

†

Lauren knew this was a pattern for Jerrica. She would bury herself in her work to avoid dealing with emotional issues. Even though she had seen this before, she had no idea what she was hiding from this time. There would have plenty of time to talk it out on the drive to the cottage, Lauren consoled herself.

Lunch came and went but Lauren’s anxiety was increasing by each passing hour. As she repositioned herself in her office chair for the hundredth time, she tried to concentrate on her own computer work. Every so often she received an e-mail from Jerrica for a project or a folder that she might need later. At least Jerrica was keeping her mind busy. The day seemed to drag on, but as long as she heard from Jerrica periodically, she felt some kind of normalcy in her day. Mid-afternoon, Lauren glanced at Jaime who was focused on her work and oblivious of the events around her.

I wish I could shut out the world as she does, Lauren thought.

After closer observation she realized Jaime wasn’t focusing, she was softly crying behind her computer screen. Jaime turned her head as Lauren touched her shoulder, “Jaime, what’s wrong?”

The tears that were few before, now flowed in abundance. In between tears and catching her breath, Jaime managed to answer. “This guy…I’ve been seeing for a few months just…broke up with me via…text message.”

Lauren had been out of the dating game for quite a few years and found it hard to understand this blubbering girly stuff. “What happened?”

“I don’t know. I thought we were serious.”

“And,” Lauren pushed.

“Well, we were finally…intimate and now he’s breaking up with me,” she explained as she wiped tears from her cheeks.

Lauren wanted to tell her this was classic for young relationships but seeing the hurt in her eyes, see decided that wasn’t a good idea. “I’m sorry, Jaime,”

She felt remorseful for the younger woman. “Listen…Jerrica and I are taking a trip down to my cottage on the Cape this weekend. Would you like to come? It’s not a total relaxation weekend, we are opening up for the season, but it would at least be time away.”

She waited patiently as Jaime considered the proposal in between sniffles. “Are you sure I won’t be a third wheel?”

“I wouldn’t have asked if I thought that would be the case. I asked you because it’s an all-girls weekend and honestly, I think it would be good for all of us to get to know one another better,” she added in her best stretching the truth voice.

Jaime eyes seemed to search Lauren’s face for pity or embarrassment, but could only find caring. “I would like that a lot. But I don’t have anything packed. What am I going to do?”

Lauren hadn’t fully pondered that. “Well, you live in the Newton area, correct?”

Jaime nodded and Lauren continued, “I’ll let you borrow my car to go home. You have two hours to be back here by the time we need to leave. Do you think you can make it?”

“You’re going to let me borrow your car? Shouldn’t we ask Ms. Kerrison if I can leave?”

“First off if you’re going to spend the weekend with her, you need to start calling her Jerrica. Second, since she’s closed herself off from the world today, I am in charge and I say you can go. I can handle it here. I trust you driving my car.”

She reached back on her desk and grabbed her keys. Tossing them to Jaime she said, “You better get going. You know where I parked, right? Be back on time. I hate leaving late.”

“I know where your car is parked. I’ll be right back. Thanks, Lauren!”

She watched as Jaime rushed for the stairwell, disappearing behind the door. Lauren looked at her bosses closed door. Wait until she told her what she just did.

At almost five, Lauren glanced at the clock. Jaime had not yet returned nor had Jerrica come out of her office. She decided that if Jerrica didn’t appear soon, she was going to force her way in. Just then, the office door opened and Jerrica stepped out. Lauren notice that her face looked a little paler then it had earlier and her eyes were puffy. Could she have been crying
?

†

Jerrica strolled to the desk, then glanced around the room. “It’s almost quitting time. Where’s Jaime?” she asked, pointing to the empty desk.

“Well, I sent her home but she’ll be back,” Lauren answered, eyes still focused on her computer.

“She’ll be back? What did I miss?” Jerrica casually sat on a corner of the desk.

Blushing, Lauren’s head tilted toward the floor when she began to explain. “Well, while you were hiding from everyone today, Jaime had an emotional meltdown.”

Jerrica bent her head down in an attempt to see Lauren’s face more clearly.

“I didn’t know how to handle it, so I asked her if she wanted to go with us for the weekend,” Lauren closed her eyes and waited for the scolding.
 

Instead, Jerrica touched her shoulder, “That was nice of you. So where is she?”

It was unlike Jerrica not to have an opinion on an unexpected change in plans. “I sent her home to get clothes. She should be back any minute now.”

“Once she is here, let me know. I’m going to close up my office and then I’ll be ready.”
 

Back in her office again, Jerrica felt less stressed, but exhausted. She didn’t have the energy to fight with anyone about the sudden change in status-quo. She was tired and just wanted to get out of there. Adding one more person to this journey put a crimp in her plans to bare her soul but she understood why Lauren had invited Jaime. Maybe this would be a good trip for all of them. They could spend time getting to know Jaime.

While shutting everything off and packing her briefcase, she reluctantly picked up the new phone. She could feel the tears at the edge of her eyelashes, but quickly wiped them away. Jerrica shoved the phone in her coat pocket. Walking toward the door, she heard familiar voices talking on the other side. Jaime must have made it back on time. Now they could go and have a great weekend.