Finding Home (14 page)

What. The. Fucking. Fuck?

Landon stopped dead in his tracks. “Adam…” he gasped. “I wasn’t expecting you to be in for a couple more hours.” He quickly dropped Blaze’s hand, as if it were on fire, and shoved his own into the pockets of his jeans.

“Yeah, well after being gone for two days, I figured I should get caught up on some of the paperwork that you never take responsibility for.” Adam was being kind of a dick, and he knew it, but he was still pissed about Landon’s stunt at the house the other night. Adding to that was the fact that he now had to face his ex, whom he hadn’t really ever wanted to see again.

“Sorry…” was all Landon muttered before walking toward his station. Blaze, however, stayed where he was. “So, how’re ya, Addy Bear?” He smirked when he used his old nickname for Adam, and it made Adam want to be sick.

“Don’t ever fucking call me that again,” Adam bit out, trying really hard not to vomit. “What are you doing here?”

“I met up with Landon at a party a few nights ago, and he promised to give me a discount on a hella sweet tattoo I’ve wanted to get after I buttered him up with a fantastic blowjob. He wanted to do it while you weren’t here, but I was sure hoping you would be here.” Blaze reached out to touch Adam’s arm, but Adam jerked his arm out of reach. He did not want to be touched by Blaze.

Adam turned and stalked over to Landon. “What the hell, dude? Since when do you let men give you blowjobs?” This was news to Adam. Landon was straight to his knowledge.

“Since always,” Landon muttered. “I’m bisexual, okay?”

“And this is how you wanted me to find out? Aren’t you supposed to be my friend?” Adam asked. He was angry as hell.

“Yes, I am your friend, Adam, but you don’t seem to give a rat’s ass about me anymore. You’re always off with Dillon and haven’t spent
any
time with me since you met him how many months ago?” Landon’s accusation wasn’t far off, but Adam wasn’t going to let him turn this around and make him feel guilty for building a new relationship.

“What about before that, Landon?” Adam wondered angrily. “We’ve been friends for how many fucking
years
? Six… that’s how many. Why did you not tell me about this before?”

“It’s not something I’m proud of, okay? My parents have pretty much said that if I give in to the unnatural part of me, I can kiss my ass good-bye, so it’s not like I’ve been advertising it.” Landon looked pained, and Adam instinctively wanted to comfort him, but he has to remind himself that he was pissed with a capital P.

“I get that, Lan. I really do, but why are you with him? You know the shit he put me through, and you’re still going to bring him in here? This is my shop too, y’know, and I don’t want him here.” Adam felt like a petulant child, but he wasn’t going to be made to feel uncomfortable in his place of business.

Blaze stood over by the display case listening in on their conversation, not being at all fazed by the fact that they were having a private conversation or that they were talking about him like he wasn’t there. He just wanted his damn tattoo, and he was going to get it one way or another. Plus, seeing Adam again wasn’t too hard for him. He’d always been one of Blaze’s favorite playthings.

“Look, Landon,” Blaze butted in nonchalantly. “We can always leave now and go have some fun,” he waggled his eyebrows at Landon suggestively, “and then come back tomorrow when he’s not going to be here to jack this up for me.”

“Fuck you!” Adam spun around on his heel and stuck his finger in Blaze’s face. “Don’t fucking talk about me like that, asshole. You know damn well why I don’t want your ass here, and I’m damn sure not about to take any fucking lip from you.” He turned back to Landon. “Get him out of here before I get arrested, now.”

Landon and Blaze left without another word, and Adam sat on his stool with his face in his hands. It was times like this that he wished Dillon had a cell phone. He really needed to hear Dillon’s voice, but he wasn’t about to call Target and ask for him. He didn’t want to get him in trouble.

Adam decided to take the deposit to the bank then and run some other errands before he had to be back for his first appointment. Landon was there when he got back, but Adam didn’t speak to him for the entirety of the day. Everyone in the shop could feel the tension between them but they knew better than to bring it up, so they all went about their own business quietly.

*****

Adam had never been happier to get out of the shop as he headed over to pick Dillon up from work. Dillon walked out with Cody, ready for his day to be over, and was surprised to see Adam standing outside the door waiting for him. A feeling of jealousy and possessiveness took over Adam’s body the minute he saw Dillon with another guy, even though he knew that Dillon would never hurt him like that. He stalked over to Dillon and swept him into his arms, kissing him deeply in the middle of the sidewalk.

“Get a room,” Cody called from across the parking lot where he’d continued walking to his car. Dillon looked up, completely embarrassed, before he realized that Cody was grinning at him and giving him the thumbs up sign. Dillon waved and Cody drove away.

“Are you okay?” Dillon asked immediately. He had felt Adam’s desperation in the kiss and wanted to know what had made him feel that way.

“Let’s go to the car,” Adam suggested.

As soon as they got to the car, Adam reached under his seat and pulled out a box. He handed it to Dillon who was shocked. “Is this for me?” Dillon asked, looking at the brand new iPhone in his hands.

Adam nodded and smiled. “I can’t accept this, Adam. I know these things are expensive, which is why I don’t have one.”

Adam’s grin dissolved quickly. He’d wanted Dillon to be happy about it, not to have a battle about it, but with the way his day had been going, he should’ve known it wouldn’t be that easy. “Something happened at work today and I needed to hear your voice, but I couldn’t call you because you didn’t have a phone. I want to be able to talk to you whenever I need you, Dillon, and I want you to be able to talk to me if you need me. Any time, any place, okay? Please, just take it, and let it be a good thing.”

“Okay, but I’m paying you for the monthly bill, and I’ll add extra every month until I pay you back for it.” Dillon wasn’t going to take no for an answer, Adam could sense it, and he was just happy that he had the damn thing now so Adam agreed.

Compromise. It was a great thing.

“Thank you.” Dillon expressed his sincere thanks with a sweet kiss as he wrapped his arms around Adam. “Can we go to the house? I need a shower.”

“Absolutely.”

After they were both showered and had met in the living room, Dillon asked Adam what had happened. Adam lay on his back on the couch, with his head in Dillon’s lap and told him about his encounter with Blaze and what he’d found out about Landon. Dillon knew there was more to the back story about Blaze but he didn’t want to pry, Adam would tell him when he was ready to share, but the tidbit of information about Landon felt like a brick in his stomach. Dillon had always had that feeling that Landon wanted Adam, and now he had the confirmation that he needed.

They talked a little longer, until almost ten o’clock, before Adam sat up. “Okay, the shop should be cleared out now, are you ready to go get your tattoo?”

Dillon’s stomach had been in knots all day from anticipation and nerves, but if he was ever going to do it, it had to be now or he knew he would chicken out. “Okay, let’s do it.”

Less than an hour later, Dillon
’s nerves were at an all-time high as he sat in Adam’s chair at the shop. Adam had everything set up already and was prepping his tattoo gun. He’d already transferred the image onto Dillon’s skin, and Dillon kept gazing at it. He loved the sentiment behind the tattoo, and the fact that Adam had come up with it, and was about to make it permanent, was exciting and terrifying at the same time. It would forever serve as a reminder of Adam, should anything happen between them, but it was also an amazing mantra to have.

“How bad is this going to hurt?” Dillon asked nervously.

“That depends on what you want to hear,” Adam teased him. “If you want the truth, then I’d say it’s going to hurt a bit. The inside of your arm is one of the more sensitive spots on your body, but, if you were looking for me to sugar coat it, then I’d say that it’s going to feel like puppies and rainbows.” The grin on his face told Dillon that he was being silly. Realistically, Dillon wasn’t scared of pain, but he knew that having a needle in his skin wasn’t going to be fun at all.

Dillon was brought out of his thoughts by the buzzing of the tattoo gun. “Are you ready?” Adam had a shit-eating grin on his face, and Dillon thought that Adam was going to have way too much fun hurting him while doing this.

“Okay.” He didn’t know if he was really ready or not, but he wasn’t going to chicken out at this point.

Adam pulled Dillon’s arm toward him so that it lay flat on the arm of the chair. He held on to Dillon’s wrist to steady his arm, knowing that people often flinched or jumped once the needle hit their skin for the first time. “You need to try your best to hold still, especially with the shock of the needle for the first time, okay? It’s hard to fix an errant line from a knee-jerk reaction, so I want you to be as still as you can.”

Dillon nodded and closed his eyes. “Now, take a deep breath, and let it out,” Adam instructed. Dillon did as he was told and could feel his muscles relaxing. Adam’s grip tightened slightly, and he put the tattoo gun to Dillon’s skin for the first time. Dillon’s heart was racing as the needle pierced his skin for the first time, not knowing what to expect. “Daaaaamn!” Dillon grimaced as Adam dragged the needle across his skin. It definitely wasn’t as bad as he thought it was going to be, but it still felt like his skin was on fire. Instead of the sharp pain like he thought but more of a burning sensation, like it was a flame rather than a needle.

Adam stopped to re-ink the needle. “Are you doing okay?”

“Yeah, it’s not so much painful as it just burns.”

“Give it a few more minutes and your endorphins should kick in, which will help ease some of that feeling.” Adam went back to concentrating, and Dillon tried to just breathe and relax. He wished he’d brought his iPod because then he’d be able to plug the headphones in and listen to Coldplay rather than concentrating on his arm. It wasn’t a horrible pain, but it wasn’t pleasant either. Intense would probably be a good word to describe the feeling.

“Hey, do you have any headphones here?” Dillon asked during one of Adam’s breaks for ink.

Adam thought for a second, then set the gun on the tray and removed his latex gloves. He walked into the office and came back out with headphones dangling from his fingers. He handed them, along with his phone, to Dillon because he knew that Dillon hadn’t had time to set his new phone up yet.

Dillon looked up at him with a grateful smile, and Adam was once again blown away by the beauty before him. “I love you,” Adam blurted out, suddenly struck with the need to tell Dillon that.

Dillon swallowed loudly. No matter how much he enjoyed hearing it or felt like those words soothed wounds deep in his soul, he didn’t think he would ever be used to hearing them from someone like Adam. “I love you, too,” he softly replied.

Adam replaced his gloves with a snap. “Ready to finish this?”

“Yup.” Dillon placed the earbuds in and started the music, leaning his head back and trying to relax.

It took about an hour, but when Dillon felt Adam’s hand squeeze his thigh, he opened his eyes to Adam’s gorgeous grin. He was so proud of the design on Dillon’s forearm, and he wanted Dillon to love it. Dillon immediately looked down to see red, green, blue, purple, and black letters surrounded by music notes of all kinds.

Adam was nervous for Dillon’s reaction, and Dillon was taking his time, studying every single line. “I can’t believe it,” he whispered. He wanted to touch it but knew better. “It’s amazing.”

Adam released his breath finally. “You like it then?”

“It’s perfect. How did I get to be so lucky?”

Adam cupped Dillon’s face, rubbing his thumb softly along his cheekbone. “Because you are wonderful. Believe it, Dil, but I have to tell you, I’m the lucky one. You sorta fell right into my life, but I can’t imagine it without you in it now.” Adam kissed Dillon gently, not trying to ignite a spark or anything, but just to let him know how genuine his words were.

“How about we get this wrapped up and go get some sleep?” Adam suggested. He gave Dillon a rundown of the aftercare instructions as he cleaned up his station, but wasn’t too worried because if Dillon had any questions, he kind of lived with an expert.

As they crawled into bed that night, Dillon read the words on his arm out loud. “I’ll try,” he added, more to himself than Adam, but Adam was thrilled to see Dillon actively making the effort. Regardless of the bad day he’d had, Adam knew that as long as he got to come home to Dillon every night, things were going to be okay.

*****

Adam had kept his word to Dillon and went to meet up with his friends after work on Saturday night. Landon was there also, but, luckily for him, Blaze was not. Adam was still pissed about the events of the previous day and feeling like he’d been betrayed by someone who knew better, so he avoided Landon. Adam’s other friends, Sid, Jason, Matt, and Brian, all showed up so it was easy to focus on them.

They met at one of their favorite hole-in-the-wall bars and crowded into the big, round booth at the back that they always commandeered when they showed up. Adam was planning on sticking with beer, but Jason shot that plan to hell when he came back to the table with a round of shots for everyone and sat them on the table. “Bottoms up,” he shouted over the music and they all clinked the glasses together before downing their shots.

“So, Adam,” Sid began. “New boyfriend, huh?”

“Yeah, he’s great.” At the mention of Dillon, Adam’s entire night brightened.

“Is he keeping you on a tight leash?” Brian wanted to know. “We’ve hardly seen you around.”

Adam could feel the tension coiling inside of him, so he took a long drink of his beer before bothering to respond to Brain. “I make my own decisions, Brian, and I know for a fact that you all know that.” Adam ended his statement with a pointed glare in Brian’s direction.

“Whoa!” Brian exclaimed with his hands up indicating surrender. “Don’t bite my head off, dude. I was just making an observation.”

“No, you were trying to blame Dillon for me wanting to spend time with him since our relationship is new. I’ve known you assholes for a long time. I’ve only known him for a month. We’re still working on getting to know each other, so, yeah, we need the time together more than you guys need me. Besides, I know who has put those ideas in your head, and I don’t appreciate it one bit.” Adam knew he was ranting but it pissed him off. “Someone get me another shot, pronto!”

Sid, being the good friend that he was, hurried to the bar and came back with two shots for Adam, who downed them both in quick succession with no chaser. He hadn’t drank for a while so he was feeling the effects rapidly.

“Adam, slow down,” Jason warned. “You’re not going to be in any condition to get home if you keep it up at this pace.”

Matt, who was sitting next to Adam, leaned in and asked quietly, “Does this guy make you happy?”

Adam sighed. “He really, really does.”

“Then that’s all I need to know. You take whatever time you need, okay? These guys are just being dicks, but they are your friends and will support you.” Matt put his arm around Adam’s shoulders. “You wanna talk about what’s going on with you and Landon?”

Matt was one of the other artists at the shop, so he was privy to the tension. In retrospect, if he hadn’t drank so much so fast, he probably would’ve kept his mouth shut, but instead he put his mouth next to Matt’s ear and simply said, “He brought Blaze to the shop yesterday while I was there cleaning.”

Matt’s reaction was visceral. “Are you fucking serious?” he blurted out loudly. Every head in the booth snapped toward Matt and Adam.

“What?” Sid asked concerned.

Matt glowered at Landon. “You, sir, are a fucking twatwaffle.”

“What is going on?” Jason demanded.

Adam put his hand on Matt’s arm. “Don’t.” he pleaded.

“Will you two let me out of here?” Matt asked of Sid and Adam, who were between him and the edge of the seat. “I need some fresh air.”

They let him out, and he stormed toward the exit of the bar. Landon, who was on the edge of the other side, took off after him, which made Adam feel responsible. He sighed. “Let me out, Sid?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he replied but ended up moving.

A couple seconds after Adam stood up, he got slammed with a feeling of wooziness that threw him completely off balance. Damn those fucking shots. He pushed through the fog and stumbled his way toward the door that his friends were on the other side of. He felt an arm slip around his waist, supporting his weight, and looked over to find Jason walking with him. Sid and Brian were right behind him.
Great, apparently it’s going to be a group show.

There was a commotion to the left when they got outside, and the guys knew that it was their friends. Landon was shoving Matt against the building, and Matt was yelling at Landon.

Brian ran up to them just as Matt shoved his finger in Landon’s face. “…are supposed to be his friend. Why in the hell would you do that to him?” Adam caught the tail end of the argument.

“I don’t have to explain myself to you,” Landon retorted, puffing himself up to tower over Matt. Brian pried Landon’s arm off of Matt’s chest. “You guys need to chill the fuck out before someone calls the cops,” he told them calmly.

“Will someone please tell me what the fuck is going on here?” Jason asked exasperated. “We’re all fucking friends. Why the hell are we fighting?”

“This douchenozzle brought Blaze into the shop yesterday. You guys remember Blaze, right? The guy who obliterated Adam’s heart.” Matt was working himself up into a frenzy again, and Brian held onto him to keep him out of Landon’s face.

Adam felt a strange sense of pride in knowing that Matt was so offended for him. He loved his friends. Maybe that was the alcohol talking, but he couldn’t feel bad about having people who loved him.

“Landon?” Sid questioned. “Is that true?”

“What are you doing hanging out with him? That’s just wrong!” Brian pointed out.

Landon glared at Adam. “Do you want to tell them the rest of the news then?”

The rest of what news?
Adam was confused. “I’m fucking sleeping with him, okay?” Landon boomed.

There were four baffled faces staring at him. “What the…” That was Jason. “But you’re…”

“Straight? No. Bi? Yes,” he answered. “Now that you all know the sordid details of my personal life, can I go home?” He hung his head and turned to walk away.

“Landon, wait!” Sid called out. He stopped and turned around slowly. “You know we don’t care who you are attracted to. Hell, three of us are gay. We just want to know why Blaze? Especially after what he did to Adam.”

Landon sighed dejectedly. Why should he have to explain himself? No one seemed to care about him. “Because he was there, and I was lonely. Then I promised to do the tattoo for him, and that’s why we were there when I thought he wouldn’t be there. It’s my life, okay?” Then he turned and left for real.