Finding Kat (3 page)

“What the Fuck is up L.A?!!” The lead singer of Anatomic Anomaly yelled to the seething crowd of thousands. “You guys kick serious ass! If you liked our set, you are gonna love the guys up next. They aren’t quite as good looking as we are, but I’m sure you’ll get over that once you hear them play. Give it up for Occam’s Razor!!!!”

The crowd went crazy as the lights went out and the stage went black. The only lights in the whole arena belonged to the glow of necklaces and bracelets that shone in neon colors. The noise of the crowd was a massive wave of sound that roared and screamed with pent up energy and excitement.

On the stage, a drumbeat began. The drums pounded out a rhythm and the crowd surged and teemed with life and energy. The wail of a guitar pierced the air with its screeching cry. The crowd answered back with a bellowing call, the noise so loud the music faded.

A voice began to whisper, chanting, “I was never enough. You were never enough.”

OMG! I love this song.
This song was my anthem the year the CD came out. It was everything I wanted to say but never could.

Then smoky velvet with a whiskey soft rasp began to sing.

The full power of the band kicked in and the bass thumped out a beat while the drums set the pace. There was an electricity in the air, supercharging everyone and taking them along for the ride. Everyone here was on equal footing, unable to resist the music and it’s power over us. Cade was the ring master and we were powerless to deny him anything.

I was entranced. I loved this music blasting through my headphones as I worked out and chilled by my pool. But live, this was so completely beyond my expectations. Cade’s voice was my siren call. I would follow him anywhere if he just kept singing like that.

I watched as his lips curled and he grinned savagely down at the masses as they writhed and called out for his attention. I watched with fascination as sweat dripped and disappeared into his t-shirt and imagined what seeing his toned and muscled body would be like in person. I’d seen all the magazine spreads of course, but they didn’t begin to capture his power and his magnetism. He had that thing. The “it” factor. He was powerful onstage.

Ally leaned into me and yelled into my ear “Oh my god Kat! No wonder you have a girl boner for this guy! He is one hot piece of ass! And that voice!” She fanned herself and stared at him in open-mouthed wonder.

I grinned at her and mouthed, “Told you so!”

For the next few hours, I was putty in Cade’s hands. I was angry with him and I was rebellious with him. I went everywhere his lyrics lead me while the music moved my body in a dance I didn’t know that I could do. I decided that no matter what I had to do, I would feel like this again. He made me feel powerful in a way I hadn’t in forever. I wanted to call up my mom and scream, “Fuck you!” I wanted to rip up my contracts, dye my hair weird colors and get tattoos.

I would do it, I decided. I would plan and do it right, but I would get out from under their thumb. I would be whoever the hell I wanted to be, even if that was a bum on a beach somewhere or a McDonald’s fry maker.

I screamed and waved my arms with the masses behind me as the band finished their third encore. This was magic, I decided.

“Come on!” Chris gestured to Ally and me. “Let’s go see the guys! They’ll shower and stuff before they come out but we can go look around backstage if you want.”

I grinned hugely and said “Hell yes! Lead the way.”

Chris led us to the side of the stage where he nodded to a bodyguard and yelled something into his ear I didn’t hear. As Ally and I walked passed, he looked at us blankly and I wondered how many other women he had watched walk backstage like us. He probably thought we were groupies or something looking for some easy action with a rock star to brag about with our girlfriends. I loved the idea of being so anonymous. He could think whatever the hell he wanted.

Chris pointed out things backstage as we walked around: the special equipment the guys in the band used and Cade’s specially made guitar, worth thousands, that I salivated over and wanted to play so badly. I had developed a love of music and I wondered what it would be like to experience playing with a talented musician like Cade.

“Oh my god!” Ally gushed, “This is so cool! And the band is so hot! I can’t wait to see them up close. Ugh. I’ll bet we get wet just walking in the room!”

I couldn’t help but laugh at her enthusiasm. She pulled me into her arms and started jumping up and down. I laughed as I jumped with her squealing in excitement. This was living!

“I hope all that is about me.” A sinfully sexy voice said from in front of us.

I shivered and stopped jumping. I knew immediately who the voice belonged to and felt my eyes being pulled to meet his. I didn’t notice him before because of all the noise we were making, but I couldn’t help but notice him now. He was just as compelling in person as he was onstage.

“Hey bro! You sucked so badly tonight. I’m really sorry but I fell asleep a little actually.” Chris said with a mock frown.

Cade laughed and pulled Chris in for a hug. A real one, not one of those man slap awkward hugs.

“Too bad. I bet these ladies here didn’t fall asleep.” Cade winked at us and asked Chris for an introduction.

“This is Kat,” Chris said gesturing at me, “and this is Ally.”

I smiled at Cade, trying to feign indifference. It was really hard to do once his eyes finally met mine. I hid my gasp with a smile. I will act normal.
I will not fan girl out in front of the hottest guy I’ve ever seen.
(And this is saying something. I am an actor and have worked with and seen a lot of really attractive men!) So, being an actor, I put on my big girl panties and faked all the confidence and bravado I didn’t really have.

“Nice to meet you. You guys were awesome tonight.” I said with a smile. But I thought:

Ohmigod! You rocked so hard! You are so HOT! I want to
do
you!! I’ve wanted to see you live for so long and I’m kind of freaking out because I snuck away from my super over controlling parents to come see a concert for the first time and I’m fucking 24.

“You are so damn hot. Kat and I have been drooling all night and let me tell ya, you’re even better in person than you are in print. Really, really hot. Smokin.” Ally said with a laugh.

“Thanks.” He said with a wink and a laugh, “I aim to please. Did you really drool Kat?” He asked.

“Yep, totally drooled. I think there’s a puddle in the floor someone needs to mop up before someone falls and sues you.” I said jokingly.

He laughed and I internally swooned. Outwardly, I pretended it wasn’t the most charming thing I’d ever seen. Damn. Being cool and nonchalant is hard.

“Come on back ladies. Chris, maybe you should go mop up that puddle.” He punched Chris in the arm and waved for us to follow him to some hidden part of the backstage maze.

“The guys are gonna love you Ally.” Cade said as we walked. “You’re just their type.”

“Well, they better hope they’re mine. Wait. They’re rich, famous, play instruments, and must be good with their fingers and other things. OK. Yep. They’re definitely my type.” Ally decided.

I couldn’t help the fond smile that came across my face at this pronouncement. That was exactly why I loved her. She was so unapologetically honest. She wasn’t like the actors I knew who pretended to be pure as the driven snow but spent their nights snorting coke and having sex with people they wouldn’t even remember talking to the next day. She was exactly who she said she was.

“Come on Ally! Let’s go check out hot dudes!” I declared taking her arm. “Hey and if they’re lucky they might get our phone numbers.” I laughed

“Oh, they could only hope to get our phone numbers. I don’t give mine out to just anyone.” Ally laughed “They have to be hot, confident, and rich.”

“What about you Kat? What are your requirements for getting your phone number?” Cade asked raising a brow.

“Oh you know the usual. No serial killers. Psycho stalkers are out. No actors. Oh, or athletes. Jocks get on my nerves and you can’t get on my nerves and get my phone number.” I quipped at him with a wink.

I can do this. Witty banter with my crush since I was 16. Internal swoon. External chin lift. I am woman. Hear me roar. OK, this can be fun. I don’t expect him to have any real interest in me so I can be myself. I don’t have anything to lose. Deep breath. Let’s do this. Ha ha. This is so hilarious. I bet people would think I am crazy if they heard my internal dialog.

“Uh hello, Earth to Kat.” Ally’s voice pulled me out of my amusing train of thoughts. “She does this all the time, you guys should know this. I always wonder what she’s thinking. We were out at this bar one time, and these really hot guys were chatting us up and she just spaced out. The guy was trying to pick her up and take her home and she wasn’t even paying attention to him. Sometimes I think she’s getting into character, like in her movies, but I never can get a straight answer when I ask what she’s thinking.”

I blushed at the story. It was true I did have a tendency to lose focus. My imagination was a good thing in my line of work.

“An actress? Really? I wouldn’t have thought you were an actor. What all have you been in?” Chris asked curiously.

“Oh just a few movies. No big deal. Why wouldn’t you think I was an actor? I’m not snooty and demanding enough?” I laughed.

“You just seem so normal. I’ve met a few big time actors hanging around Mr. Rock Star here, and they all seem so into themselves. They take themselves way too seriously. “Chris said.

“I totally get it. I’ve met a ton of actors just like that. I’ve been around cameras and pap’s all my life. I figured out a long time ago that being self-important doesn’t do anyone any good. It wouldn’t make people like me more, or want to hire me to be in their movies. People love to gossip in my business. If I was a pain in the ass, word would get around and then the crew wouldn’t want to work with me. Movies run a lot smoother when you don’t alienate the people who do all the real work in movies. All I do is stand there and talk. The other people do much harder things than that.”

I meant it. I loved the crews on movies. After a few months on set, you bond. Some of my best friends were extras or camera workers. But my parents encouraged networking and being seen with people who were in the spotlight, or part of the elite Hollywood set. They didn’t care if I liked them; they just wanted me to get attention so I could land bigger roles. It wasn’t my thing though. I didn’t want to waste any of my life doing things that made me miserable, or around people who weren’t really worth my time.

“I’m sure you do more than just stand there. I bet you’re a really talented actor. I can see it.” Cade said looking into my eyes. There was something behind his. Understanding, maybe a dose of interest.

“Well I certainly try. I love it. I’ve always loved the idea of being a part of people’s favorite memories. Almost all of mine involve movies. Watching them, making them. It’s a gift being able to do what I do. I love it and it just so happens to pay my bills at the same time. It’s convenient. OK. Enough serious talk. Let’s go meet hot musicians.” I demanded.

Cade opened the door we had stopped in front of and I laughed. The rest of the band was doing the exact opposite of what I expected. The bass player was reading a book, the drummer was typing on his computer. The guitar player was the only one doing anything remotely rock and roll, he was fixing drinks. Their heads shot up from what they were doing as we came in.

“Hey Cade, who’re the hot chicks? I’m Mace. Guitar player and ladies’ man, at your service.” He bowed slightly over the drinks he was fixing. I laughed and looked at Ally. This guy was like the male version of her.

“Hey there handsome. I’m Ally and this is Kat. We got picked up by Chris during the show so you’ll have to play catch up. He had some interesting ideas about what we should do together. What do you think?” She asked with a wink.

“Chris isn’t a fan of crossing swords like my pal Mace here. We love to share a woman. Or women, in this case. I’ve got moves that aren’t limited to the stage, unlike Cade over here. Don’t hop into the sack with him, you’d only be disappointed.” The drummer, Tyson Stone butted in.