Finding Love at Home (The Beiler Sisters) (22 page)

Debbie followed Saloma back to the house as the roar of the machinery resumed behind them. Verna, her face pale, met them holding little Sarah Mae in her arms. Saloma stayed to fill Verna in on the details, while Debbie went back to the kitchen. Should she take the lemonade out now? The men would be even thirstier after the scare they’d been through.

She took the glasses and a dipper with her out the washroom
door and set up inside Emery’s buggy. She dipped glasses of lemonade for the men on the wagons as they drove past. She would run over and hand the glasses up and receive hearty words of thanks from all of them. When she accumulated empty glasses, she hurried to the water pump by the barn, rinsed out the glasses, filled them again, and handed them out.

When Alvin came by, he gave her a weary smile but didn’t chat while he gulped down the lemonade. They couldn’t talk anyway. Not in this awful racket. Clearly Alvin had been affected by the tragedy, as they all had. He was right to maintain a sober attitude. But it would have been nice if he’d noticed how well she fit in today. She was an Amish woman now.

In contrast, Emery both noticed and complimented her. “That was
gut
work on your part, Debbie. Paul might have lost too much blood by the time the ambulance arrived if you hadn’t taken action.”

“Thanks.” Debbie lowered her head as she’d learned to do from watching when Amish women were complimented. Oh, if only those words had come from Alvin…

Twenty-One

L
ate Saturday afternoon Alvin drove his team of horses in from the field. As he neared the barn, Mildred walked out from the house and greeted him with a cheery, “
Gut
evening.”

Alvin pulled the team up short and returned her greeting. There was something about Mildred tonight that told him she was after something. He’d have to wait until she was ready to share it with him.

“Paul’s going to lose his arm,” Mildred said. “His
mamm
hasn’t left his side at the hospital since the night of the accident.” Mildred regarded him for a moment. “Did you see it happen, Alvin?”

Maybe that was what Mildred wanted. Details… gossip. But that seemed a bit beneath her. He shook his head. “I was several wagons back. But he fell into the belt from the top of the wagon when Virgil hit a big rut right in front of the chopper.”

“Ida went with Paul to the hospital.” Mildred sounded interested.

Alvin gave her a perplexed glance. “What’s wrong with that? Someone had to go with him until the family could arrive. It wouldn’t have been decent not to.”

Mildred returned a sly smile. “I’m just surprised Debbie didn’t grab the chance.”

Alvin gave her a glare. “That’s not fair, Mildred. Debbie wouldn’t have gone unless there had been no one else. And even then… ”

Mildred’s smile sweetened at once. “
Yah
, that was very naughty of me, Alvin. I’m sorry. It just slipped out. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

Alvin didn’t look convinced.

Mildred continued. “Alvin, would you like to come down tonight for supper at the
dawdy haus
? I’ve fixed a little extra, and there’s no reason for you to sit and eat alone in that big house.”

Alvin hesitated. He wouldn’t see Debbie this weekend, so there shouldn’t be anything wrong with his acceptance. Not that there was anything wrong with supper at the
dawdy haus
, even on the Sundays when he took Debbie home. But it might get complicated if Debbie found out he’d eaten Mildred’s food the evening before. But surely Debbie would understand. Just like Debbie had understood his explanation about Mildred’s presence on the farm. Debbie trusted him.

“
Yah
, I’ll come.”

“I’ll look forward to it then.” Mildred glowed and dashed off.

Alvin’s gaze swept down the road to where a buggy was fast approaching. Who would come by this late in the day? As the buggy neared, Alvin caught a glimpse of the man inside and drew in his breath. Deacon Mast! What did he want? Hopefully not more conversation about his supposed attraction to the
Englisha
world. Whatever it was, it couldn’t be
gut.
Alvin jumped down from his wagon and waited while Deacon Mast arrived and pulled up. He got out and tied his horse to the hitching post.

“
Gut
afternoon,” Deacon Mast greeted him. “Getting in some last-minute field work before
Da Hah
’s day of rest?”

Alvin nodded. “
Yah
, there’s always more to be done.”

Deacon Mast nodded. “That was quite a shock about Paul’s
accident on Thursday. As a result, I trust everyone’s being more careful than they were before.”

“I try.” Alvin nodded again.

“Young men can get a little rambunctious sometimes.” Deacon Mast gave him a smile.

What was that supposed to mean? Alvin wasn’t sure. But if the deacon offered no more startling advice then this, Alvin decided he’d be more than happy. Doubtless though, more serious things lay ahead.

Alvin nodded and bowed his head.

Deacon Mast cleared his throat. “I have shared my concerns with the other ministers, Alvin. About Crystal Meyers and your relationship with her.”

“Her appearance here is not my fault,” Alvin protested. “I left the woman a long time ago.”

Deacon Mast silenced him with a direct look. “That’s not how the ministry sees it, Alvin. Crystal seems to be conducting herself like a Christian woman should even if she’s been divorced. They think this calls a lot of things about you into question just as I said they might. Bishop Beiler is quite worried about the matter. Especially since you’re apparently so fond of Debbie. He thinks upon her almost as a daughter.”

Alvin choked but couldn’t get any words out.

Deacon Mast continued as if he hadn’t noticed. “You do know that Ida Beiler and Minister Kanagy are saying their vows soon?”

“
Yah
,” Alvin answered, not seeing a connection.

Deacon Mast continued. “Anyway, Minister Kanagy obviously has even a greater interest now in seeing that the Beiler family is kept in
gut
standing. And we feel that any question about your character must be cleared up.”

“So I’m being made the scapegoat for Minister Kanagy’s fears?” Alvin said. “I protest this in the strongest terms. I have confessed my sins, and that’s all there is to it.”

“Your temper will get you nowhere, Alvin.” Deacon Mast gave Alvin a firm look. “I counsel a humble attitude and a forgiving spirit. Your family has always been among the most faithful in keeping the
Ordnung
, especially your
daett
. How were you able to leave all that, and so suddenly, and face excommunication so willingly?”

Alvin hung his head again. “I’ve already been over that, and no explanation is going to persuade you, I’m afraid.” Alvin struggled to keep his voice steady. “So, what is to be done with me?”

Deacon Mast’s face grew even more mournful. “You aren’t helping yourself, Alvin. Surely you can see that with your record, of being out there in the
Englisha
world, and why you came back—to take over your
daett
’s farm. We have a right to have questions.”

Alvin stared at the ground. Bitter thoughts raced through his mind. His
daett
was at the root of this. He had run over to Deacon Mast with the news that Crystal had stopped by. His
daett
was always at the root of his troubles. But Alvin wouldn’t give up easily—which was a new thought for him. He usually ran from his troubles, but right now there was little he could do but ride out this storm.

Deacon Mast’s voice cut through his thoughts. “Have you got anything more to say, Alvin?”

Alvin shrugged. “
Nee
, not really.”

Deacon Mast appeared grim. “We think you should voluntarily stay back from communion this fall, Alvin, until this blows over. It would show humility on your part and help restore our trust in you. We’d know that you intend to respect our concerns and listen to our counsel.”

Shocked, Alvin tried to breathe. “You want me to stay back from communion?”

Deacon Mast nodded. “
Yah
. This would give us all time to figure out what is going on, Alvin.”

Nothing is going on
, he wanted to say, but he didn’t. Protests were useless right now. “But what reason shall I give?” he asked slowly.

Deacon Mast shrugged. “Pre-communion church is in a little
over a week. That’s the place to deal with this, Alvin. I wanted to let you know, so you’d have plenty of time to think this through. But it would be simple really, and everyone would understand. You can say that you regret bringing in an influence from the outside world, and that you question your own heart on the matter and wish to clear yourself with a few weeks of mourning and withdrawal. You can say you desire all our prayers for the health of your soul. That would be the least you can do.”

“And if I refuse?” Alvin couldn’t believe he’d asked the question, but the words blurted out. A glimpse of Mildred’s face from earlier in the evening flashed through his mind, but he wasn’t sure why.

Deacon Mast appeared troubled. “I make no threats, Alvin. But you know the community works on trust. It would not be
gut
if we couldn’t trust you any longer. And rejecting our counsel would raise even more questions about your motives and character.”

Alvin nodded. “Then I will accept your counsel. I don’t think it’s fair, but I also don’t wish to make trouble. And I did do what you say I did—rush out into the world and bring shame on my family and the community. What possessed me, I don’t know now. So perhaps this could be a time of cleansing and sorrow for myself.”

Deacon Mast appeared relieved. “It is
gut
to hear you say these things, Alvin. My heart is much lighter now. Maybe this whole thing can be taken care of with this one small action, and we can all move on.” Deacon Mast held up his hand at the look on Alvin’s face. “I know it doesn’t seem small to you, but in the large scheme of things, it is but a bump in the road. What you have already faced in being excommunicated is much worse than this, Alvin. Remember that.”

But he hadn’t had to actually face people for long while he was excommunicated, Alvin thought. That had been all done at a distance with letters written between him and the deacon. This shame would have to be faced head-on in full view. He’d have to sit there in communion services and allow everyone to see his shame. Alvin
paused as another thought burned through him. This would be Debbie’s first communion, and she would partake while he couldn’t. That seemed to add to his shame.

Deacon Mast didn’t seem to notice his discomfort. “Soon this will be all over, Alvin. This gesture on your part will go a long way toward settling the ministry’s mind. I’m sure Bishop Beiler’s heart will be encouraged and comforted that Debbie is getting a man who is worthy of her. The bishop thinks quite highly of the girl, almost like his own daughter. So I have nothing but the highest hopes for the two of you. So take courage, Alvin. This is really a small matter.”

“I’ll try to,” Alvin managed, as the deacon untied his horse and climbed back into his buggy. Alvin didn’t move until Deacon Mast was clear down the road and out of sight. He shouldn’t take this so hard, he told himself. It was after all his own fault, but still…

Alvin began to unhitch his team. When he finished he took them into the barn for the night. He shoveled extra oats into their feed boxes and listened to the draft horses noisily chomp their food. This was the life he loved, Alvin reminded himself. And the deacon’s words had been true enough. In the grand scheme of things, one missed communion was a small matter. Still, it didn’t seem right. But what could he say? Rebellion was out of the question. He was through with that option.

Twenty-Two