Finding Love at Home (The Beiler Sisters) (5 page)

Debbie nodded and waited. She already knew that.

Ida struggled for the words. “The Knepp family hired on Mildred Schrock the week before last. Alvin’s
daett
won’t move in with any of the sisters-in-law. Not unless he absolutely has to. Anyway, Mildred’s living right there on the farm, Debbie. You know what that could mean. And Alvin could have forbidden it—if he had objected. You do know Alvin pursued Mildred when they were in school?”

Debbie caught her breath. Would this explain Alvin’s hesitancy all summer after he’d almost promised her a date? Had Alvin fallen for his old sweetheart? It made way too much sense. Debbie grabbed the edge of the counter in front of her. “Yes, I knew.”

Ida clutched her arm. “I’m not trying to startle you, Debbie, but it’s time you knew. Alvin not showing up today may mean something.”

A fire shone in Ida’s eyes that Debbie didn’t see very often. What had gotten into her? Probably the injustice she perceived in Alvin’s continued play with her affections while a man like Paul stood on the sidelines ready to sweep her up the first chance he had.

“It’s probably a coincidence,” Debbie managed. “We mustn’t read too much into this.”

They filled their arms with bowls of food again. Ida was obviously not convinced, and neither was Debbie, if truth be told. This did look like a real threat to her future with Alvin. She knew from the stories Verna had told her before she married Joe that Mildred had shown Alvin attention before they joined the youth group. Why Mildred stopped, Verna never ventured to guess. Likely because of the Knepp reputation for being poor farmers. But now with the revelation that Alvin wasn’t to blame for that, things might be different. Alvin had taken over his father’s farm and it was prospering, so
perhaps Mildred regretted her original decision and was interested in Alvin again.

No wonder Alvin hadn’t asked her home all summer. Debbie shook her head to clear the spinning world in front of her eyes. She pasted on a bright smile. This was her baptismal day, and she wouldn’t allow Alvin Knepp to spoil it… even though her heart throbbed with deep pain.

Four

T
hat Sunday evening the hymn singing drew to a close, and Debbie sat on the front bench trying to concentrate on the songbook Ida held with her. Ida didn’t know what had transpired just before the evening meal. She should have told her friend at once, but Debbie couldn’t bring herself to speak the words. The problem was she couldn’t believe the conversation with Alvin had occurred or that she’d agreed to allow him to drive her home tonight. Not after what Ida had told her this afternoon.

Even now Mildred sat further down the row of girls beaming a big smile straight across the aisle at Alvin. She’d done so all evening. Alvin at least had the decency not to return the attention. But how did Mildred dare give Alvin such open attention if there were no feelings between the two of them? Debbie scolded herself for returning to those dark thoughts of doubting Alvin. Wasn’t his asking her home answer enough? It was, after all, the moment she’d so longed for.

Alvin had been all smiles when he spoke to her. He hadn’t looked at all like he had anything he should be ashamed of. “Sorry to miss
your baptism this morning, Debbie,” he’d said. “The cows were sick with mastitis again, and I was waiting for the vet.”

“And your
daett
? Where was he?” she’d managed to choke out.

“Oh… ” Alvin shrugged. “He doesn’t get involved in running the farm any longer.”

As if that answered all the questions. Why was Mildred at his
daett
’s house to care for his
mamm
when other girls were likely available?

Alvin hadn’t seemed to pick up on her rumpled spirits. “I… I’m finally ready to take you home, Debbie. Like we spoke of last spring. I’m sorry it’s taken so long. Is tonight okay? I mean, if there’s a problem, I can wait until next Sunday.”

The man at least had the decency to act a little hesitant. But that was usually Alvin’s problem, not his virtue. Debbie knew she ought to be thankful Alvin had gained as much confidence as he had. His time spent in her world hadn’t been entirely wasted. Perhaps that was why she’d decided not to snap at him. There might be nothing between him and Mildred, although if Ida thought so, how could it be just imagination?

Alvin had regarded her with a question on his face. “Is everything okay, Debbie?”

“Oh! Yes, of course,” she’d chirped. “Tonight’s just fine.”

Now here they were, almost time to go home, and Ida still hadn’t been told. Down the bench Mildred was still smiling like a sunflower that followed the sun. Debbie couldn’t remember that Mildred had acted like this last Sunday, but then Mildred hadn’t moved in with Alvin’s parents until recently.

Debbie focused back on the service as the last song was given out. Mildred would find out soon enough that she had allowed Alvin to take her home. That would cool Mildred’s obviously revived ardor. And Debbie and Alvin had way too much history together to throw it all away on an innocent thing like who had moved in next door to help Alvin’s parents in their time of need.
The community girls did that kind of thing all the time, and no one thought twice about it.

The song ended and the soft murmur of young people’s chatter began. Debbie didn’t move as a few of the men who dated steady jumped to their feet and went outside to get their horses. Their girlfriends gave them brief glances and went on with their conversations with the other girls. There was no sense in rushing outside to wait in the cold before the men had their horses and buggies ready.

Now was the time when she had to tell Ida. Alvin might leave at any moment. And sure enough—as if Alvin had heard her thoughts—he got to his feet and left, followed by the admiring look of Mildred Schrock. As Alvin slipped out the door, Debbie forced herself to nudge Ida.

“I’m not going home with you and Emery tonight.”

Ida turned around, a look of surprise on her face.

Debbie whispered, “Alvin’s taking me.”

Ida gasped and a few girls glanced their way.

“Please! Don’t make a fuss,” Debbie said. “I’ll explain later.”

Ida collected herself. “Of course!” she squeaked.

This didn’t go well, Debbie thought. She had to get out of here whether Alvin was ready or not. Several of the girls were still staring at her as Debbie fled toward the washroom. They could all figure out tomorrow what the fuss had been about. By then the whole community would know Alvin had taken her home.

Debbie found her shawl in the bedroom and stepped outside. The evening air had cooled considerably. She wrapped her shawl tightly around her shoulders. Now to find Alvin’s buggy. A line of girls stood at the end of the sidewalk and gave her quick glances. Well, they would just have to be curious. She wouldn’t announce the news, but she also wouldn’t stand here in uncomfortable silence. Why couldn’t she find Alvin’s buggy and help him hitch up? It wasn’t exactly the custom of dating girls, but neither was she the normal Amish girl.

Debbie moved on past the line of girls, navigating around the buggies lined up to go to the driveway. She soon found Alvin’s buggy without any problems. He hadn’t arrived from the barn with his horse, so she waited in the shadows until he appeared leading a snorting horse by the bridle. He appeared pleased to see her. He must have interpreted her early arrival as eagerness to have him drive her home. Hopefully this misconception warmed his heart more than Mildred’s smiles had all evening. But she mustn’t think about Mildred anymore. Debbie had wanted this for so long. Why spoil the evening?

Debbie fastened the tug on her side in sync with Alvin’s movements. She climbed in, and he threw her the lines before he got in himself. She handed him the reins as soon as he was settled.

Alvin gently slapped them against his horse’s back. “Get up, Star.”

Well, now she knew the name of his horse! Debbie hid her smile. She didn’t want Alvin to know she valued any information about him she could gather. He didn’t need to know that.

Alvin steered his buggy around the others, and it bounced in a ditch once before they reached the blacktop. Debbie settled back in the seat. She actually was on a ride home with Alvin Knepp! It was hard to believe.

“Chilled off a bit,” Alvin commented, offering her more of the buggy blanket.

Debbie tucked the edge under her. “Does this cold weather affect your cows?” She didn’t know much about cows, but it sounded like an intelligent question.

Alvin grimaced. “Cold is never good for sickness, but the vet thinks we’ll be okay. I milked the sick ones out and dumped the milk. All I can say is we can’t afford much more of this.”

“How is the farm doing?” Debbie already knew the answer, but she wanted Alvin to talk about it.

“Dad took the change hard.” Alvin glanced at her. “I suppose you wondered why I took so long getting back to you… about taking
you home. It’s not because I was having doubts, Debbie. But I was busy and having to deal with
Daett
’s disapproval of… well… lots of things.” Alvin slapped the reins again to get Star to speed up. “I guess I should explain. Things weren’t the best around the farm growing up. I had to make a lot of changes this year to get the place working right. None of this was easy, but things are going smoothly now. And with your baptism out of the way, I thought it was time.”

Debbie swallowed hard. “My baptism, Alvin? You didn’t trust me before this? And your
daett
? Does he not approve of me?”

Alvin swallowed hard. “Of course I trusted you, Debbie. But…I mean… how do I explain? It’s like this. I saw so much out there in your world. What with being with Crystal Meyers on a few dates and seeing how her life had turned out. And I wondered… Well, it doesn’t matter now. I know you’re not Crystal.”

Debbie couldn’t keep the disappointment out of her voice. “But you thought I might be? And your
daett
thinks so too?”

Alvin turned to face her. “Okay,
yah
, I did. The thought crossed my mind, and I had to be sure. Plus,
Daett
was highly disapproving—actually still is highly disapproving of us. And I had already challenged him on enough things. It was best that I waited. Please try to understand.”

Debbie felt her body turn cold. She tried to keep her words warm. “I do understand that your parents are among the best
Ordnung
keepers in the community. And now that their son is back from jumping the fence, I can see they don’t want him polluted at any cost. But you made your mistakes too, Alvin. What were you doing out in my world to begin with? Then you wouldn’t have learned what
Englisha
women are capable of. Like leaving their husbands after they say the wedding vows. I’m not like that, Alvin.”

Alvin let go of the lines with one hand. He grasped her hand and held it firm. “Debbie, listen to me. I love you. I do. I’m not perfect. I have my problems. And one of them is watching that Paul Wagler making eyes at you every Sunday, knowing all the time he’d make
a much better husband than I ever could. How do you think that makes me feel? It took a lot of courage just to ask you home, Debbie. So please, let’s not quarrel.”

Debbie willed herself to calm down. She wasn’t perfect, and obviously Alvin wasn’t either. She couldn’t hold that against him. And she knew he had fears. Alvin had always had them. At least he worked to overcome them. And he was honest about things tonight. That went a long way, didn’t it? This still didn’t answer her questions about Mildred Schrock, but right now that had best be left alone. They’d quarreled enough for one evening.

Debbie gave Alvin a warm smile.

He relaxed.

“Sorry if I was too harsh,” she said.

He smiled back. “I like your spunk, so don’t change that.”

Both of Alvin’s hands were back on the lines as he concentrated on driving.

“I don’t have anything ready to eat at home,” Debbie said. “This was kind of sudden.”

He gave her a kind look. “I’ll be with you, that’s all I need. I get enough to eat at home.”

The thought of Mildred over in the
dawdy haus
flashed through Debbie’s mind. Had Mildred brought food over to Alvin this week? Without a doubt she had, and Mildred had also used that time to moon over Alvin, if Debbie didn’t miss her guess. She snuggled up against Alvin’s shoulder, and he didn’t pull back. She spoke with an uplifted face. “It’s still a wonderful evening. Remember how I used to drive past your place in my car to admire you working in the fields? That seems like a long time ago.”