Finding My Way (13 page)

“It’s ok
Em
, it’s perfectly normal, we all have needs!” she teases
me and I can tell she’s smiling.

“It’s more than that
Kat, I think he’s sweet.  He helped me when I fell off the chair at work-”

“You what?” she
giggles, interrupting me.

“-and he helped me
when I dropped the coffee cups.”  I continue.

“So he’s helpful and
you’re clumsy.”  She laughs.  “A match made in heaven.”

“Shut up!” I snicker
at her.

“No seriously
Em
, I’m happy for you.  So where and when is this
date?”

“It’s Saturday
night, and I don’t know where.”

“Ooh. 
Yay!  Hang on a sec, Luke’s bugging me… yes I’ll be there in a minute…
it’s
Em
, she’s got a date… yes… okay, okay, I’ll tell
her,” she giggles.  “Luke says he’s happy for you, but you need to get off
the phone because he needs me in bed NOW!”

“Please tell him that
is too much information!”

“Okay I’ll pass that
on.  I will see you on Saturday at eleven.  Oh about that, Mum was
wondering if you could meet us there, because April, Jake and Luke will be in
the car with us and there won’t be enough room.”

“No
problems,
see you then.”

“Bye.  Oh and
Em
… I am really happy for you!” she says as she hangs up.

The phone rings again
straight away, I answer with, “Oh get to bed and please your fiancé
already!”  But I’m met with silence.

“Uh
Emma
?”
  It’s a male voice.  Shit I just presumed it was
Kat, I didn’t even think to look at the screen before I answered.

“Yes?”

“It’s Seth.” 
Seth?  How did he get my number?

“Oh
hi!
  Sorry about that!  I thought you were someone
else.” 
Duh, obviously.
  Shit!  How
embarrassing!

“Yeah I thought as
much.  Let me guess, your friend Kat?”

“That would be the
one, yes.”  I wait for him to say something else.

“Um… I’m ringing
about Saturday night,” he sounds nervous.  “I’m sorry but I am going to
have to cancel.”

“Oh.” I actually feel
my heart skip a beat. 
What?
 

“I made a mistake,
I’m sorry.”  He doesn’t say anything else.  No explanation, nothing.

“I understand,” I say
solemnly. 
No I don’t!  What?  Why did I say that?
 
I don’t know what else to say, so I panic and hang up.

What the hell just
happened?
  One minute I am excited and bragging to my best friend
about this really sweet guy that I have a date with, and the next he has
‘made
a mistake’
?  Why?  Was it because of something I did?  What
did I do?

He thinks asking me
out… was a
mistake
?

Fuck!  What the
hell just happened?  Is she mad?  She didn’t even let me
explain.  I immediately call her back.  The phone rings twice before
Emma answers.

“Hello.”

“Hey it’s Seth. 
Please don’t hang up.  You didn’t give me a chance to explain.”

“Go on,” she sounds
angry.

“I forgot that I’m
supposed to look after my little sister this weekend.  My folks are going
out of town.  I’m sorry I made a mistake with the dates.”  The words
come out in a panicked rush, embarrassing, but at least I’m honest.

“Well why didn’t you
just say that?”  She’s angry, it’s cute.

“I was trying to
think of the right words and you just hung up.”  I confess.

“Sorry about
that.”  She shouldn’t be apologising to me.

“No, no I should have
rehearsed more… Did I just say rehearsed?  Out loud?  I did, didn’t
I?  I can’t believe I just said that!”

“Yep you sure
did!”  She laughs.  “So you rehearsed that and still managed to
confuse the hell out of me?”

“Confuse the hell out
of you?  Well I didn’t mean to do that.”  I can’t help but let out a
little chuckle.  I confuse her?  Not sure why, but that does give me
a feeling of satisfaction.

“Well you did.” 
She says and I can tell that she’s pouting.

“Sorry,” though I’m
not really that sorry anymore.  I like that she got a little upset it must
mean that she likes me!  We hang on in silence for a bit.

“Hey, how did you get
my phone number anyway?”  She asks.

“I’m the I.T. guy, I
know everything.”  Yeah way to sound like a smart-arse!

“Oh.”  Is all
she
says.

More silence. 

“So,” I say.

“So,” she says back.

More
eerily, comfortable silence.

“Um well, I guess I
will see you at work tomorrow.”  I eventually say. 
Though I don’t really want to hang up.

“Guess so.”  She
says.  I think she’s smiling.  It sounds like she is.

“Good night,” I say.

“Good night,” she
replies and hangs up.

This keeps getting
weirder and weirder.  I just cancelled my date with her and yet I couldn’t
feel happier about the conversation.  I got an insight into her feistiness
and I like it.  And what was with that silence?  I loved just knowing
she was there, hearing her breathe on the other end of the line.  Am I
going crazy?  I think back to that beautiful smile she gave me after she
got off the elevator today.  And that tight red dress she was
wearing...  I think I might take a cold shower before bed.

Again, I wake up
feeling stiff and sore.  I need to do something about getting a new
bed.  Maybe I will do some Friday-late-night shopping tonight, check out
some furniture stores after work.

While making a cup of
tea and cooking some toast my thoughts return to Seth and our strange
conversation the night before.  I was so relieved when he clarified that
he made a
mistake
with the
dates
, not a mistake asking
me
out. 
Then doubt starts to creep into my mind as I realise that he didn’t
actually
make another date.  He cancelled.

He rehearsed what he
wanted to say to me?  Which I immediately thought meant that I made him
nervous. 
Me
make
him
nervous?  He is such a
hottie
, how could
I
make
him
nervous?
 Perhaps he was apprehensive on how to cancel, not because of it.  He
never mentioned rescheduling.  Maybe I got the wrong end of the stick
completely.

But then again how
did he get my number?  Isn’t that a sign that he is keen, if he went to
the trouble of finding my number?  He must have found it at work
somewhere.  “I’m the I.T. guy, I know everything” he said, the thought
makes me shiver, in a good way.  So why go to the trouble of finding my
number when he could have just cancelled to my face at work today.  Maybe
he’s just gutless.

Looking at the time,
I realise that I’ve been daydreaming for too long and I will be late for work
if I don’t hurry up.  I down my, now cold, cup of tea and, taking my toast
with me, I go back to the bedroom to get dressed.

I like casual
Fridays.  I put on my dark blue skinny leg jeans, my mint green kaftan,
and trusty boots.  Making my way to the bathroom I do my make-up and put
my hair in a ponytail, no time for curling today, and quickly grab my jacket,
bag and keys as I head out the door.

On my hurried walk to
the station, my thoughts again turn to Seth.  I don’t know what to make of
it all.  I’m so confused.  Ok so he didn’t reschedule, it doesn’t
mean that he won’t.  There is something about the way he looks at me. 
Those long gazes, the electricity… surely he can feel it too.

I don’t even think
about Nick until I get to the platform.  I look over to the kiosk,
mentally preparing myself for another embarrassing onslaught, and see an older,
balding guy behind the counter.  I look around but there is no sign of
Nick.  A wave of disappoint surprises me.  My inevitable awkward
encounter diverted – I should be relieved, so why aren’t I?

Hopping on the train,
I pop my earphones in and try to focus on the workday ahead.  Julia has
requested a meeting with me this morning and I am not sure what that is about.

When I reach my desk,
Julia is already sitting there.  She’s on my phone.  Shit!  I’m
not late am I?  I nervously glance at my watch.  No, it’s only ten to
nine.  Why is she sitting in my chair, this is highly unusual.  She
looks serious as she talks and I patiently wait while she finishes the call.

“Good morning,” she
says to me smiling.  I am instantly relieved to realise that I am not in
trouble.

“Good morning,” I
smile back to her as she gets up from my chair.

“Here, I kept it warm
for you,” she says motioning for me to sit.  “Emma, I have a pretty busy
schedule today and will be out of the office a lot.  Could we reschedule
our meeting?”

“Sure,
no problems.”
  I say, I don’t have a problem with it, I don’t even
know what the meeting is about.

“How
about ten-thirty on Monday?”
  She says as she looks through her
diary.

“Okay,” I reply,
getting my diary out of my desk drawer to take note of it.

“Good,” she says and
starts walking to her office.  “Oh and you forgot to put the phone on
night switch last night.”

“Oh sorry, it must
have slipped my mind.”  Shit!  I have never done that before.

“It’s okay,” she says
noticing the alarm on my face.  “Shit happens.”  She smiles and goes
into her office.

Whoa, what?  Did
she just say that?  I don’t think I have
ever
heard Julia swear
before.  Thank god, she’s not mad at me and now at least I know why she
was at my desk.  I guess I was distracted by thinking about Seth again as
I was leaving last night, must try harder to keep that in check.  The
phone rings.

“Good
Morning, G & C Printing, Emma speaking.”

***

The day goes quickly
and again I don’t see Seth.  I’m not even sure he’s here.  I haven’t
even heard him around.  I resist the urge to go to his office to make
sure.  No, he has to come to me.  He asked me out, he cancelled and I
am still not one hundred per cent sure of the reason why.  I know he said
he was minding his sister, but is he really?  Or was it a lame excuse, because
he didn’t ask me out again.

I wonder what Kat
would think about this?  She is usually good at reading these kinds of
situations.  I contemplate calling her, but think better of it. 
Ugh. 
Stop!
  I have to cease these thoughts of Seth.  And
I don’t need to involve
Kat,
she doesn’t need my petty
dramas, she’s about to get married!

I’m in the kitchen
washing out my coffee cup when I feel someone standing behind me.  I turn
to see Seth.  So he
is
here!  He is wearing jeans today too,
and he looks hot!  I notice that he is wearing his satchel.  He must
be going somewhere.  He is wearing a long sleeve t-shirt, but his sleeves
are pulled up revealing his forearms.  His top is light blue and is
stretched quite tight across his chest, it’s distracting.  My eyes look to
his arms, his skin looks smooth and more tanned than mine.  They are
covered in fine blond hairs and he looks quite strong, I idly wonder if he
works out.  The blue denim of his jeans just hangs off him in such a way
that I cannot help but glance down
there
.  Shit!  I hope he
didn’t notice!  My eyes quickly flick up to his face.  He’s smiling
his sexy smile.

At various intervals
throughout the day I have made it to Emma’s desk and every time she hasn’t been
sitting at it.  I’ve been so busy that time has just flown.  One good
thing about looking after
Tahlia
for the weekend is
that I get to leave early.  I feel this overwhelming urge to see Emma and
am pleased to see that she is in the kitchen as I attempt to leave for the day.

She’s at the sink
when I enter the room.  She doesn’t notice me straight away.  She has
her hair up today and I can’t help but stare at her bare neck.  She has
perfectly toned creamy smooth skin with a couple of tiny freckles on the back
of her neck.  Her skinny jeans and tall boots make her legs look even
longer today.

When Emma turns in my
direction she looks momentarily distracted.  If I didn’t know better I
would say she was checking me out.  But I am sure she’s just thinking of
other things.

“Hey,” I smile at
her.

“Hey
yourself!”
  She replies.  It’s then that I get a good look at
her.  The light green top that she is wearing is cut quite low and shows a
bit of cleavage, it’s hard to look away.

“So,” I say as my
eyes make their way back up to her glorious smile. 

“So,” she says and I
have a sense of déjà vu, of our conversation last night and of that strong pull
to her.

“I’ve been trying to
catch you all day.  I’ve been really busy.  I just wanted to say
sorry about last night. 
About cancelling our date.”
 
I can’t help but add, “And about confusing the hell out of you,” though I’m
really not.  “I honestly thought I was looking after
Tahlia
next weekend.  Then Mum called me last night and reminded me.”

“
Tahlia
is your sister?” she asks me.  “How old is she?”

“She’s thirteen going
on thirty.”
 
She is a good kid, even if
she is a pain in the arse at times.  “I would have liked to have taken you
to dinner…” Look at the time!  “I
gotta
go it’s
nearly three, I’m leaving early today to pick
Tahlia
up from school.”

“Oh okay.  Well
I hope you have a good weekend,” she says sincerely.