Finding My Way (22 page)

“Are you okay?” 
I ask reaching for her head.  I give it a light rub where the football
connected. 

“It’s alright,” I
hear her say.  But her eyes are wide with surprise.

“Are you sure it’s
alright?  That ball hit you pretty hard; you look like you’re in
shock.”  I realise I’m probably making her head hurt more by rubbing it. 
I move my hand to her back instead.  Is it weird that I’m buzzing from the
small connection of my hand on her back?

“It gave me a fright,
but I’m okay.”  She looks at me then and I am in total awe of her. 
Her eyes are wide and dreamy.  I have to remind myself that she was just
hit in the head with a ball, and that the look on her face is probably shock,
not lust.  No that’s me, the lust is in my eyes,
I
think I’m in
lust
with this woman.  That’s what these intense
feelings are.  Like nothing I’ve ever felt before.  My hand on her
back is enough for me to imagine my hands on every inch of her body.  I
want her.  I have never felt such strong desire before.  What is she
doing
to me?

I sense
Tahlia’s
presence before she speaks and I remove my hand
from Emma’s back as if
Tahlia
might be able to hear
my dirty thoughts.

“I saw the ball hit
you.  Are you okay Emma?” 
Tahlia
voices
her concerns.

“I’m fine.” 
Emma says tearing her eyes from me and blinking up at
Tahlia
.

“Well I’m
hungry.  You
wanna
go Seth?” 
Tahlia
asks turning to me.

“Um sure,” I look at
Emma.  “Would you like to go with us?  The house isn’t very far from
here.  We can walk.” 
Please say yes.

“I have my car, I’ll
drive you both.”

“Of course,
thanks.”  I should have remembered that. 
Duh!
  She must
think I’m such an idiot.  I stand and put my hand out for Emma.  When
our hands connect I feel that same intense zap that I felt the last time. 
Although this time I don’t intend on letting go.  I pull her up towards
me, purposely bringing her closer to me than necessary.  I hear a small
gasp leave her lips and I find it hard to focus on anything other than how much
I want to kiss her.  I drag my eyes up to meet hers and that’s where they
stay.

“I’ll just go say
goodbye to Ryan.”  I hear
Tahlia
say but am too
enthralled in Emma’s eyes to respond.  I feel her pulling away from me so
I tighten my grasp.  After a moment I collect our bags and return my gaze
to hers.

Emma slowly pulls me
towards the car park and I enjoy the feel of her hand in mine.  It feels
so much like it belongs there.  I don’t ever want to let go. 
Unfortunately I have to when we reach her car though.  She opens the boot
and I place our bags and my skateboard in there. 
Tahlia
puts hers in too.

“Hey butch, Emma’s
car is better than yours,”
Tahlia
says from the back
seat, once we’re all seated.  It takes me a moment to respond, my eyes are
still too focused on Emma’s and my hand still feels warm from her touch.

“Hmm, how’s that?” I
ask, not taking in the details of Emma’s car but rather her profile instead.

“It actually
starts!” 
Tahlia
and Emma both laugh.  I
turn my attention to
Tahlia
.

“You’re hilarious
princess!”  I say as I try to slap her. 
Tahlia
giggles and evades me.

“Hey Emma, nice
dress,”
Tahlia
exclaims as she fondles the clear
plastic covering a dress hanging in the back of the car.

“Thanks, my best
friend’s getting married next weekend and I’m the maid-of-honour.  We had
the final fittings today.”  Emma replies with pride.  When she speaks
like that I find myself truly enchanted.

All I can think about
is Seth’s arm on my
back,
I don’t care about the
football to my head.  My body is practically humming.  Looking in his
eyes again I also feel like I’m melting. 
Humming and melting?
 
What on earth am I thinking?  He removes his hand from my back and I
instantly miss his touch.  Then when Seth puts his hand out for me to grab
I feel a sense of déjà vu when our hands connect and I feel the same shockwave
that I felt when our hands last touched like this when he pulled me up from the
office floor.  When I’m upright, I gasp at the closeness of his face to
mine.  He is beautiful, in a masculine way.  I have an overwhelming
urge to touch the brown tufts of hair reaching near his eyes.

He continues to
unnerve me with his deep brown eyes that are fixated on mine.  I attempt
to move away from him to collect my bag when it is decided that it’s time to
go, but his grip on my hand only tightens.  His grasp feels almost
possessive and it sends a feeling of warmth to the area between my legs. 
He looks away momentarily as he bends down retrieving both his bag and mine in
his free hand.  But his eyes return to mine as soon as he stands upright
again.  After a few moments of intense staring,
Tahlia
returns and breaks our focus.

I feel Seth’s eyes on
me as I drive.  A few minutes later, we pull into a driveway of a neat red
brick home.  The driveway is lined by slightly overgrown trees down the
driver’s side of the car, which makes it difficult for me to get out of the car
without being scratched by branches.

“
Ow
,”
I say rubbing my arm as I head for the boot of the car to grab our belongings.

“Sorry, I should have
warned you, those trees have bite.”  Seth says eyeing my arm where there
is now a small scratch.  “Shit.  You’re bleeding.”

“It’s nothing.”

“Here let me take
that,” Seth says taking my bag from me as
Tahlia
grabs both the skateboards from the boot then Seth shuts the lid. 

When we get inside
the house, I notice how homely the place feels.  There are family photos
all over the walls of the entranceway.  Looking at the pictures of Seth’s
Dad I can easily imagine how handsome Seth will still be when he gets
older.  Even though there’s a strong resemblance between
Tahlia
and Seth I can see that she mainly takes after her
Mum.

“Come on, let’s get
that cleaned up.” Seth says in a concerned voice, after he puts our bags down
on the bench seat by the front door.  He grabs my hand and leads me
towards the hallway.  I notice
Tahlia
roll her
eyes as we pass.  I can’t help but be amused too.  The fact that he
wants to look after me when I’m injured is sweet, even if it’s just a tiny
scratch and a total overreaction.

When we get to the
bathroom he let’s go of my hand to look in the cupboard.  He pulls out the
first aid kit, wets a cotton ball with a little bit of water and turns to
me.  Holding my wrist he gently dabs at the scratch on my forearm.

I draw a quick breath
between my teeth when he touches me with the cotton ball.

“Sorry am I hurting
you?” he asks concerned.

“No,” I chuckle,
“it’s just really cold water.”

He looks relieved
then.  He throws the cotton ball in the bin and puts a Band-Aid on my
arm.  His fingers touch me so lightly that it tickles.  I revel in
his touch and don’t want him to stop.

“There.  All
better.”  He looks up at me as his fingers feather their way down my arm,
leaving goose bumps in their wake.  Our eyes lock again and I’m suddenly
aware of how cramped a space we’re in.  There is only a small gap between
his body and mine, and it’s that gap that I really wish would leave.  We
stand like that for a while before Seth shakes his head, as if to clear it, and
then turns to pack away the first aid supplies.

I remember how many
times the bushes in the driveway have scraped me over the years, and I know to
avoid them.  I feel terrible for not warning Emma to be careful when she
hopped from the car.

When we enter the
house I notice Emma thoughtfully looking at the photos that Mum has lined the
walls with.  There are so many, it’s like my entire
life’s
on show.  There are photos of
Tahlia
and me at
all ages. 
Professionally taken family shots, mixed in
with school photos and other casual snaps.
  Usually I wouldn’t like
the photos to be scrutinized by a girl, I’d be embarrassed.  But I think
Emma’s different somehow; I want her to know me.  For some reason, I like
that she is taking the time to look.  I dump our things on the bench seat.

“Come on, let’s get
that cleaned up.”  I say motioning to her arm that has a fair bit of blood
on it now.  I take her hand and lead her to the bathroom to get the first
aid kit.  I am highly aware of how cramped the bathroom is when Emma is
this close.  She has her head down examining her arm and I have an
overwhelming urge to tuck her hair behind her ear so I can see her face
better.  I take hold of her arm and get to work.

I notice her sharp
intake of breath when I touch her cut with a wet cotton ball and it does all
sorts of things to me.  I clean her up and put on a Band-Aid.  I have
trouble letting go of her arm, but I do it.  Then our eyes meet and I feel
that intensity again.  I want to move closer and take her in my
arms.  I want to kiss her until she’s out of breath and moaning my
name.  But I can’t, I can’t do any of it, it’s too soon, isn’t it?  I
tear my eyes from hers and clean up the mess.

We walk back to the
kitchen where
Tahlia
is sitting on the bench stuffing
her face with a box of Shapes.  I grab three glasses from the cupboard
pour us all lemonades and pass one to
Tahlia
. 
“Please leave” I try to say to her with my eyes.  But she’s not having a
bar of it, we argue back and forth a bit in silence before
Tahlia
finally gives in.  Excusing
herself
to watch TV
in the lounge room.

I look at Emma, she’s
smiling and I wonder if she noticed my little exchange with
Tahlia
. 
I pick up our drinks and as I hand one to Emma it tips, spilling sticky cold
lemonade all over her and the floor.  She gasps and I’m horrified.

“Oh fuck!  I’m
sorry!  That was totally my fault.”  I am covered from the neck down
in icy cold lemonade.  After the initial shock of the temperature leaves,
I start to laugh.  But Seth doesn’t seem to find it amusing.  “I
can’t believe I just did that.  I am so sorry.”  He puts the glass
down on the bench behind me and grabs a tea towel and dabs my chest.  I
stop laughing then and my breath hitches due to the location of his
hands.  “Here you take this,” he says quickly handing me the towel
and promptly leaves the room.

I attempt to soak up
the lemonade but it seems useless, my t-shirt is soaked.  So I crouch down
and start to mop up the floor instead.

“Here let me do
that,” Seth says returning to the room.  He crouches down in front of me
taking the towel from my hands.  “You can wear this if you like,” he
says passing me something.  I grab it but I don’t pay attention to what it
is as Seth’s face is inches from mine and I am too busy staring at it.  I
see that something else has caught his attention though and I quickly stand
when I realise that he’s looking at my breasts.

When I get to the bathroom,
I see my reflection and regret wearing a white t-shirt.  Not only is it
now completely see-through but my bra is also soaked and transparent.  I
can clearly see my erect nipples and I have no doubt that Seth copped an
absolute eyeful when he was bent down in front of me.  How embarrassing!

She’s laughing, how
can she be laughing?  I have just poured cold drink, I glance at her chest
and notice her nipples pointing at me and gulp, y
es a really cold drink
,
down the front of her.

I put the glasses on
the bench and get the tea towel from behind me.  I try to cover her up,
she’s still laughing and I don’t think she realises that she’s on
display,
that I can see
everything
.  I lightly dab at her chest and she goes
quiet. 
Shit!
 She probably thinks I’m trying to cop a feel
now too.  Could I make this date any worse for her?  I blink rapidly
trying not to look at her chest.

I mumble something
unintelligible and thrust the towel in her direction, before leaving the
room.  Should I ask
Tahlia
for one of her
t-shirts?  Would they be similar in size?  The thought of Emma
wearing my sister’s clothes isn’t very appealing so I go to my room and get one
of my t-shirts for her to wear.

When I get back to
the kitchen Emma is squatting down wiping the floor with the towel.

“Here let me do
that,” I say taking the towel from her.  I am crouching in front of her
and can see right through her top and her bra; it’s very hard to look
away.  “You can wear this if you like.”  I say as I give her my
t-shirt, breaking my eyes away from her breasts only for a moment before they
are drawn back in place, all on their own they focus on her nipples and I feel
my pants tighten.  Suddenly she stands and leaves the room.

I stand too trying to
think of something other than Emma’s breasts and how much I want to put those
nipples in my mouth.  I have to do something to ease my hard-on. 
Think about something else. 
Max.
  Max and his dungeon
formally known as my lounge room, yep that’ll do it.

I bend back down and
soak up some more lemonade from the floor.  Then I take the tea towel to
the laundry and get the mop and bucket.

When I finish
cleaning the kitchen floor, I realise that Emma is watching me from the edge of
the kitchen.