Finding My Way (42 page)

“You know about that
too?” 
How come I only just heard about this?

“You know I love
Jake, like a son, but you and him?  Together?”  He gives an exaggerated
full body shudder.  “No, it’s just plain wrong.  Please tell me-”

“No Dad,” I interrupt
him.  “Jake and I are on the same page as you… not
gonna
happen!”

“Good,” he says and
then we both chuckle.  Then I notice him looking in Josh’s direction.

“I know you were
disappointed when I broke up with Josh-”

“No baby girl, I’m
proud of you.  I know you loved Josh but sometimes love is just not
enough.  I would have been disappointed if you had of stayed
together.”  I pull back to look at Dad’s face and eye him
hesitantly.  “Don’t get me wrong, I would have loved to see you and Josh
marry and live happily ever after, but I’m proud of you for following your
heart, for making the hard choice.”

“Thanks Dad.”

“Your mother is proud
of you too.  We both miss having Josh around but we know you did the right
thing.  Only you know what is in your heart.”

As I hold onto my dad
and dance at my best friends’ wedding, I mull over Dad’s words and also what
both Jake and Kat have said about me having fun.  I will keep seeing Seth,
casually, but not at the expense of my friendship with Nick.  I want to
keep him around
too,
I’ll just have to ignore my
physical responses to him.  With the champagne flowing through my veins, I
feel confident that I can do just that. 

Later in the night,
the champagne is not only flowing through my veins but perhaps
over
flowing… 
On my way back from the restrooms, I sway a little too much and knock into
Josh.

“
Eeemmmm
,
juz
the girl I was
lookin
for,” he slurs as he puts his arm around my shoulder.  Obviously, Josh has
had about as much to drink as I have, maybe even more.  “
Lezzz
danssss
,” he says,
pulling me to the dance floor.

Luckily, a slow song
comes on just then and we are able to hold each other up as we slowly dance, if
you could call it that.  I guess it’s more like shuffling our feet as we
cuddle.  It feels strange being in Josh’s arms after all this time, yet
it’s oddly comforting.

“EMMM!”
Josh yells in my ear and I jump at how loud he is.  “I miss you,” he says
quieter, and I just sigh as a response.  “We
shoulda
gotten married.” I know that he is really drunk and he doesn’t mean it, but for
some reason I find myself nodding at him anyway.  “
Lezz
try again,” he murmurs and I know that I should respond but I am too drunk to
care.  When he starts to nuzzle my neck though, I get a moment of sobriety
and pull away from him.  “
Sozzz
, sorry,” he
mumbles at me as Luke appears from out of nowhere.

“
Isss
okaaay
,” I say before Kat grabs hold of my arm.

“Let’s go get some
fresh air mate,” Luke says to Josh as he drags him away.

“Kat!
 
My bride!”
I shout to Kat as I throw my arms around
her.

“
Em
,
I think you should sit down,” she says as she drags me back to the table. 
She plops me back in my chair next to April.  “Maybe you should have some
water to drink,” she says chuckling at me and handing me a glass of water,
which I take a quick gulp of.

“Hey
Em
, can I get a little bit of action too?”  An equally
drunk Marty comes over to our table, Kat quickly grabs his arm and steers him
in the opposite direction.

“
Ohhhh
I
wuvs
you Kat!
 
FANKS!”
  I yell to her as she leaves.

“Marty is such a
douche!”  April pipes up from beside me.  I turn to her and nod my
head in agreement, then watch as she plays with her phone.  She is swaying
in her chair, or I am, or maybe both of us are.

“
Whatchya
doin
?”
  I
eventually ask.

“Texting my ex, he
wants to get back together and keeps messaging me, but I’m not interested and
he can’t take a hint,” she says as she fumbles with her phone and throws
it angrily onto the table.

“Bloody
exes!”
  I say lifting my glass at her and sloshing water all down
my arm.

“To exes, may they
stay at the back of the alphabet where they
belong!
”
 April sings out
clinking
her champagne flute to
my glass of water.

As I am giggling away
merrily, April’s phone goes off with another message, which reminds me I still
haven’t sent Nick that photo.  I grab my phone from my little evening bag
and play around with the screen accidentally opening the camera instead of the
photo file, and then fumbling to catch it when it somehow slips from my
fingers. 
“
Whoopsie
!”
 
I mumble to myself as the flash goes off momentarily blinding me.  After a
few more moments, I manage to open the correct phone app and find the
photo.  It takes me a couple of goes but I eventually message it to Nick
in a text.

So calling Hailey
didn’t turn out so bad after all.  After we ate and
I
paid, we went
to an arcade and actually had fun.  When I dropped her back off at her
flat, she made me promise to call her the next time I was at a loose end. 
So now I have
two
new platonic female friends, which I suppose isn’t a
bad thing.

I head early to bed
and am just about asleep when my phone goes off with a text message.  I
blink my eyes awake and smile when I see the word ‘
Em
’
lit up in the centre of the screen.  I swipe my finger across it opening
the message.

Em
: 
This is what you’re missing ;-)

When I asked her
earlier in the week to send me a photo of her in that bridesmaid’s dress I
wasn’t sure that she would actually send me one.  I open the attachment
and am instantly awake.  
Em’s
face isn’t in the
picture, just her glorious cleavage and her creamy coloured thighs, and the
angle it was taken on suggests that there is only a scrap of material in
between.

Two thoughts instantly
cross my mind.  First thought, shock, the ‘little sex kitten
Em
’ was back!  The fact that she wrote ‘this is what
you’re missing’, made it even more surprising and alluring.  My second
thought was to text her right back to find out exactly where the reception was
being held so I could get what I was missing!

Then I notice the
second attachment.  There is another photo, this one was taken earlier in
the day.  She’s standing outside in the bright sunshine, gloriously
smiling to the camera.  It is a full frontal photo that someone must have
taken for her.  She looks absolutely stunning.  I forget to breathe
for a second as I look at her.  Her hair is up in a mess of curls on top
of her head, showing off her beautiful long neck and flawless skin.  The dress
emphasizes the curve of her breasts perfectly.  The length falling just
below her knees, a long slit down the side showing off an attractive set of
legs.

She looks angelic and
that’s when I realise that she probably sent the first photo in error.  I
also remember the only lie I’ve ever told her, we can be friends.

Em
is my friend until she tells me otherwise.  I cannot act out the thoughts
in my head.  She is my friend.

Damn it!

My head is pounding
and I feel like I could throw up any minute, I’m exhausted, but damned if I can
sleep.  I have way too much alcohol in my system.  It has always had
that effect on me, I’m tired but after so much to drink I just cannot
sleep.  I have no idea what time it was when my parents dropped me home
last night, but I do know that I was very drunk and that Dad helped me up the
stairs to my front door.  I know I should be sleeping in right now, but
the sun is shining and so I also feel like I should just give up and get out of
bed.

My phone starts to
ring forcing me to move.  I follow the sound to the kitchen and find it on
the bench.  It’s Josh, why would he be calling?

“Hello?”

“Hey
Em
.
  I didn’t wake you did I?”

“No I was awake.”

“I figured.  You
never could sleep late after a night on the turps, same as me.”

“Yep and I had way
too much last night…” I groan but am secretly happy that things between us have
smoothed out and we are able to talk like this again.

“Me
too.
 
Which is kind of why I’m calling.
”

“Oh?”

“Yeah.
 
Last night I said some things,
did
some things… I just wanted to
apologise.”

“Oh no that’s okay.”

“I was feeling
nostalgic but I wanted you to know that I didn’t really mean what I said.”

“You mean you don’t
want to get back together?”

“I- uh…”

“Sorry I couldn’t
resist,” I laugh so that he knows I was teasing him and I hear him sigh with
relief.  “It’s okay
Josh,
I knew you didn’t mean
it.”

“So we’re good?”

“Yes, better than
ever actually.  I’ve missed just being able to talk to you like this.”

“Me
too.”

“So how’s work?”

“Busy. 
Good. 
You?”

“Great actually, I
kind of got a promotion.”

“Ah yes I heard all
about that, your mum told my mum.”

“Right.”
 
And then silence.  I do want to be able to be friends with Josh but it’s
not going to be easy when I cannot think of anything to say.

“I’m happy for you
Em
.”

“Thanks.”  More
silence.

“So, um, I’ve
gotta
go.  I guess I’ll see you at Ethan’s party.”

“Yeah, okay, I’ll see
you then.  Bye Josh.”

“Bye
Em
.”

Okay well that was a
little awkward but I feel like I have just overcome a major hurdle so I cannot help
but smile as I make my way to the bathroom to take a long, hot shower.

I catch my reflection
in the elevator doors and realise that I am grinning like a fool.  Life is
looking up.  I’ve got Kevin and Beck back, and now Max too, he’s even
started cleaning up the mess that used to be our lounge room.  Now that he
has signed the rights of his game over, he’s promised to get his shit
together.  When these elevator doors open I get to see Emma for the first
time in days and the anticipation is making me giddy with excitement.

The doors ding as
they slide apart and I see Emma look up from her desk.  I’m still grinning
away and her face breaks into a breathtaking smile when she sees me.

“Hey you,” she
says when I stand in front of her.  I openly stare at her beauty. 
Her hair is in a loose braid sitting on her right shoulder and her green eyes
are sparkling as she stares back at me.

“Hi
Emma.
  I’m glad you’re back.  So how did everything go?”

“Morning
guys!”
  Sophie greets us as she turns the corner.

“Morning
Sophie.”
  I answer her with my lips in a tight line.  As
always, she has impeccable timing.

“Hi.”  Emma
greets her sweetly.

“Hey any
word on the paperwork for the O’Callaghan & Fitzgerald account
?”

“No but I will get
onto that this morning.”

“Okay I guess I will
just have to find something else to work on,” she grumbles and then turns
back down the corridor.

“I guess she’s a
little bored,” Emma says, and we both snigger.  The phone rings and
Emma looks at me apologetically.

“Lunch
today?”
  I ask her hopefully.

“Sure.”  She
smiles and then answers the phone.

***

Emma fills me in on
all of the wedding details and I tell her about my housemates and everything
that happened on my weekend, over a couple of sandwiches at the deli
downstairs.

“And you’re not
uncomfortable at all that your ex and your best mate are together?”

“Weird
huh?
  But no, Beck and I were never that serious and I can see how
happy they are together.”

“So you’re happy for
them.”  She nods.

I am in awe of
him.  How can Seth be so mature and forgiving?  You’d think he’d be a
little upset that his best mate was seeing his ex-girlfriend behind his back,
but I can see the warmth in his eyes as he talks about the two of them and he
is genuinely happy about the whole situation.  It just goes to show what
an amazing man he is.

“Ready to head
back?” he asks and I realise that we have been here an hour already. 
Chatting with Seth is so casual and easy now that the time has flown.

“No, not really,” I
say as I reluctantly stand up from my chair.

“I know what you
mean,” he says with a wide smile that sends a thrill through me and then
he casually grabs my hand and leads me out the door.  When we re-enter our
office building I let go of his hand.  I can see the disappointment on his
face and instantly want to take it back, but we’ve discussed this and he knows
I want to take things slow.  The last thing I need is for the whole office
to know that we are seeing each other when I’m not sure where we are headed.

The elevator is
crowded when we get in and so we keep our distance and I am unable to explain
myself, though he should understand by now.  When the doors open on our
floor we get out silently and I see Julia coming out of her office so I don’t
have time to say anything more to Seth before he heads off in the direction of
his office with barely a glance in my direction.  It makes me feel lousy.