Finding My Way (45 page)

As my eyes followed
her I realised that it couldn’t be anyone else.  She looked different,
wearing clothes that weren’t her usual style.  She looked hot, but then
when doesn’t she?  I watched as she headed for the bar with her friend and
I watched as they downed a couple of drinks.  I lost sight of her for a
while.  I considered texting her to let her know I was here.  Get her
to come find me in the booth.  I got my phone out of my pocket just as I
spotted her again, this time on the dance floor.

I couldn’t text
then.  I lost my ability to function momentarily.  She was truly
mesmerizing.  The sexy
moves
she was doing with
her attractive girlfriend was enough to fulfil the fantasies of any
heterosexual male within the club.  She seemed absolutely oblivious to all
the eyes on her.  Her outfit was way too revealing and I desperately
wanted to go to her, to protect her and maybe even cover her up from all those
leering eyes.  At the same time I didn’t want to either, I was enjoying
the view.

I was a little slow
getting to the next
track,
luckily no one seemed to
notice the small break in between.  The fast pace of song after song had
Em
finding her groove.  She was really letting herself
feel the music.  The girl had rhythm, like I knew she would and was
working up a sweat, it was so damn arousing.  I had to adjust myself
several times.  Not once did she look in my direction though, even when I
played ‘Sexy and I Know It’ especially for her.  Doesn’t she know I’m
DJing
tonight?  Surely she saw the posters outside the
club.

I kept reminding
myself that she was my friend and that I had made it that way.  Sometime
over the course of the night I decided it just didn’t matter to me
anymore.  I needed her,
I wanted her
.

Watching her move on
the dance floor just made me want her even more.  Though I was standing in
the shadows at least six metres away I felt so close to her that I even chose a
Calvin Harris track that shared those sentiments.  I was trying to send
her a message, which was stupid when it became apparent she had no idea I was
here.

I panicked when I
lost sight of her yet again, I didn’t want her to leave without at least
dancing with me once.  I couldn’t wait for my set to be over so that I
could get out there and be with her.  When I found her again I sighed
loudly with relief.  This girl was making me crazy.

When it was time for
my final track, I chose ‘The Island’ by Pendulum.  It was a crowd
favourite that I knew would also send
Em
a clear
message on what I wanted, and that was her,
tonight
.  I set it up
to play ‘Part One: Dawn’ before I made my announcement.  The look of shock
on her face was adorable.  I just wish we had of made an actual wager on
that bet about her not being able to dance.

I’m not surprised
when I suddenly feel arms coming at me from behind.  When they tightly
encircle my waist, I look over my shoulder to find Nick there.

“Hi,” I say, quickly
turning back to April when her shoulder accidentally jostles me.  Nick
pulls me closer to his chest and starts to move behind me.  The huge
thrill I feel at the warmth of his body against mine catches me by surprise and
I stop moving.  I see April’s eyes widen as they focus on Nick’s face over
my shoulder.

“This is my friend
Nick!”  I yell to answer her questioning look.  She just nods and
continues to dance while her eyes move back to Nick.

“Hi
sexy,” Nick whisper-yells in my ear.
 
Sexy?
 The heat from his breath travels the entire length my body.  I
feel myself blush all over and am still too stunned to move.  When April
finally tears her eyes back to me she gives me a wink, an encouraging smile,
moving away from us a little she gives me a nod too, yeah not subtle at
all.  Nick grabs hold of the fabric covering my hipbone and gyrates
against me suggestively, encouraging me to dance with him.  I am too dazed
to turn around so I muster the courage to dance instead.

The tempo of the
music is rather fast but somehow it feels sensual.  As I make a mental
note to find out what this song is called, Nick runs his hands up and down my
sides as he moves against me.  When one hand moves around my front just
under my boob, it makes me gasp.  Then it slowly moves down my stomach so
I place my hand on top of his to hold it in place.  Our fingers entwine
and I’m surprised by just how right it feels.  Our hands rest comfortably
there while we continue to grind together.

I close my eyes and
tilt my head back against his shoulder, just enjoying his closeness. 
Paying attention to the lyrics of the songs I hear the words ‘what are you
waiting for… just surrender here tonight’ and my heart starts to pound
harder.  Is Nick trying to tell me something by choosing this song? 
No… he couldn’t be… it’s just me overanalysing again.  Or is it? 
Nick’s free hand moves from my side to my thigh and I begin to wonder if maybe…
No, I need to stop thinking and just enjoy this moment… and then I feel it…
that can’t be right.  Nick doesn’t feel this way about me, he sees me as a
friend.  His body moves against mine again and then I’m convinced as his
hardness gyrates against the top of my arse cheeks; Nick is as turned on as I
am.

So what?  It
doesn’t mean anything… does it?  So, he’s turned on… guys don’t need much
to turn them on, it doesn’t actually mean he wants
me
.  Doesn’t
matter!  This feels good,
so
good.  I decide then and there, I
am not going to worry about that, I’m not going to worry about anything. 
I’m single.  I can do what or whoever I like.  He may want me, he may
not, all I know is that right now, in this moment, I feel sexy and Nick’s body
against mine feels so damn fine.  I let my inhibitions go and let myself
lose control as the song ends and another begins.  I barely register that
someone else must be in the booth now as I’m dancing with the DJ.  I can’t
believe he was the DJ!  Why didn’t he tell me he worked at nightclubs too?

I finally turn around
against Nick and get a good look at his perfect face.  Even in the dimly
lit club, his eyes sparkle and I can see the crinkles at the sides as he smiles
his breathtaking smile.  My eyes flick to his dimples and I wonder what it
would be like to lick them.  I put my arms around his neck as he draws me
closer.  He’s staring at me and it makes me blush.

“Hi,” I say and
though I didn’t think I said it loud enough for him to actually hear me he
leans into my ear and says “hi” back.  His breath is warm and again it
sends a shiver through me.  My arms automatically tighten around his neck
and I rest my head against his chest.  I recognise ‘Chasing the Sun’ by
The Wanted playing, it’s by no means a slow song and yet Nick and I are barely
moving as we dance slowly to our own rhythm.  We’re in our own world
separate from all the fast moving bodies around us.  Nick rubs my back as
we move and although that’s not exactly sexual, I can’t help but remain turned
on just being against him.  The song ends and before the next one can
begin
he
quickly whispers in my ear.

“I want to take you
home.  Don’t move from this spot.  I have to go pack up my stuff and
put it in my car.”  Then he pulls away.  Gripping my shoulders, he
bends slightly so that we’re face to face.  He raises his eyebrows in
question; waiting for my response as the music again blasts my ears.  I
can’t speak so I just nod.  Then he does something I have wanted him to do
ever since we went bed hopping at his cousin’s store.  He grabs hold of my
face with one hand on each side of my head, his palms resting on my cheeks and
he kisses me.

When our mouths
connect, it’s hard and fast, our lips are smashed together and closed, like two
magnets unable to be pried apart without force.  Then his lips start to
move against mine and they are surprisingly gentle.  With softness, he
kisses first my top lip and then the bottom one before pulling away leaving me
wanting more.  He gives me a meaningful look that lets me know he plans on
giving me exactly what we both want,
more
, before he turns away and
disappears into the crowd.

I stand frozen to the
spot as I try to regulate my breathing and stop my legs from giving way. 
‘
I want to take you home
’ plays over and over in my head
making my legs weaker by the second.
  I barely acknowledge April as
she tugs on my arm.  Eventually she grabs hold of my shoulder as she jumps
in front of me.

“What the
hell?” she shouts at me.  There is no anger in her voice though only
curiosity, matching her wide eyes and cheeky grin.  That’s when I snap
back to reality and remember that April is staying at my place tonight. 
We caught the train into the city and were planning on catching a cab home
together.  All of her belongings are still there. 
Shit.

“Um Nick’s
gonna
drive us home,” I say by way of explanation, knowing
full well that was not her question.  She just nods with a knowing smirk
and I try my hardest to come up with a plan to get rid of her so that Nick can
really “
take me home”
.

“That’s
Nick
Nick
, booty call/one-night-stand Nick?” she yells in
my ear and all I can do is nod and smile.  April starts dancing again and
I move slightly but have completely lost my groove.  Nerves consume me as
I realise the enormity of the situation.  I’m going to have sex
tonight. 
Sex with Nick.
  Nick wants to
“take
me home”…
I’m nervous.  And so damn horny, I haven’t had any for so
long.  And Nick is so, so sexy… and experienced… and way above my level…
and he’s my friend.  Oh my god, he’s my friend!  What if…
after…
he leaves disappointed and he no longer wants to be my friend?

My heart is jumping,
trying to get out of my chest as I start to full-on panic, and then I see
him.  Nick is walking towards me with a confident swagger and a sexy smile
and I instantly feel calm.  I can do this. 
I want this… so bad
.

His arms encircle my
waist and he pulls me into him, and I melt, feeling like this is where I
belong.  We dance and I no longer feel nervous about what comes next and
return to thoughts of how to get rid of April again.

“Are you
ready?”  Nick whisper-yells in my ear and then I turn my head to look up
at him.

“Yes,” I reply
confidently, keeping my eyes steadily on his as he reaches for my hand and
pulls me from the dance floor.  I motion to April to follow us.

When we get outside
the club and no longer need to yell, I introduce Nick to April properly.

“Nick this is
April.  April, Nick.  April and I were going to catch a taxi home
together,” I explain to Nick as we continue walking.

“No problems I can
drive her too,” he replies with a shrug.

“So you’re DJ
Stozie
?” April asks, giggling.

“Yes Nick!”  I
playfully punch him on the arm with my free hand.  “Why didn’t you tell
me?”

“What?  You knew
I was a DJ!”  He laughs, squeezing my hand tighter.

“You never mentioned
that you worked at clubs though.”

“Didn’t I?” he
asks, pleading innocent.

“Why that
name?” April asks.

“
Stozie
was my nickname in high school.  My last name is
Kristos
,” he
explains.  I suddenly feel bad when I realise that I don’t know that much
about him, I should have known these things.

April links arms with
me and pulls me away from Nick, who seems reluctant to let my hand go.  We
sway a little, which makes us both giggle, as we follow Nick to his car.
 The fresh air has made me realise I’m a little more drunk than I thought
I was.  Nick unlocks the car when we reach it and April pulls me back a
little.

“No men,
remember?”  She chuckles as she leans into me almost pushing into the
gutter.  Nick opens the passenger door for me and my eyes lock on his as I
get into the car.  Our eyes are still connected as he closes the door
behind me.  I watch him as he walks around the front of the car and hops
into the driver’s seat.  “Don’t mind me.  I’ll get my own door,”
April chimes in as she hops in the back seat.  It causes me to laugh, then
she’s laughing too, and it reminds me again, how drunk I am.

I’m trying to put my
belt on but for some reason there are two buckles and they just don’t seem to
want to connect.  I’m still giggling away, though now I’m not sure why,
when Nick’s hand grabs hold of mine.  I entwine our fingers and pull his
hand towards my face but he tries to pull it away so I grip it tighter.

“
Em
stop,” he chuckles, “let me do your belt up.”  I let go of his hand with a
huff.  He quickly does my tricky belt up for me and then grabs hold of my
hand again giving it a light kiss before letting go and turning towards
April.  “So where can I drop you off April?”

I’m too busy staring
at his face, relishing the tingly feeling his kiss on my hand has left behind
to interrupt to let him know that April is staying at my house.  April
rattles off her address and I snap out of it, turning to give her a questioning
look.  Nick turns back around and starts the car just before April gives
me a wink answering my unspoken question.  She’s letting me out of our “no
men” deal and making herself scarce.  I think I like her even more
now.  I mouth a “thank you” to her before turning back around.

The Boxer Rebellion
blasts through Nick’s speakers and he quickly reduces the volume.

“That’s not very
doof-doof
of you DJ
Stozie
!” 
I laugh at my own joke.

“I like all kinds of
music
Em
,” he says, his eyes never leaving the road. 
I wonder if maybe I’ve offended him or maybe I’m just not that funny.  He
looks serious as he drives and I can’t keep my eyes off of him as the alcohol
starts to wear off a little and my eyes start to droop.