Finding My Way Home (16 page)

             
For whatever reason, this time everything felt more relaxed and I found myself enjoying both Adele and Brian.  Adele and I shared a love for books and same kind of music and before long it felt as if we’d known each other all our lives.  Hours later it was time for them to take their leave and I suddenly felt sad to see them go.  We promised to stay in touch and I even agreed to go to Max’s party.  On our way home Gigi couldn’t stop talking about Brian and I laughed at her enthusiasm. 

             
“You are like a school girl, you know that?”

             
“I think I’m in love.  I know it’s crazy, I just met the guy.  But I feel this pull towards him.  Ok I have officially lost my mind.”

             
“I think it’s sweet.”

             
“Please promise you’ll take me with you when you go next month.  Please, please, please.”

             
“Darn it girl.  Slow down and pay attention to where you’re driving or the only place we’ll be going is the hospital.  Brian invited you so I guess I’ll have to take you with me.”

              The weeks that followed were a blur; minutes turned into hours, hours into days, and days into weeks.  I worked, ate, slept, and spent every free moment with Gigi and James, and most of my evenings with Noah.  Something had happened that evening in his tattoo shop, something that drew us closer somehow.

             
We spent hours talking about the years he was away, the things he’d done, and about the years we spent together as best friends growing up. Tonight he was bringing pizza and a movie and I couldn’t wait to see him.  I put on another coat of mascara just as he knocked on the door. 

             
“Hey,” he said and moved the pizza box to the side so he could get closer to me.  His lips touched the corner of my mouth and I smiled at his failed attempted to kiss me.  For days now things had been heating up between us and at any moment I was afraid the protective walls I had up were going to come crumbling down at my feet.

             
“Hey to you too.  Hmm the pizza smells so good.  I’m starving.”  I grabbed the box to help him out and we made our way to the living room. 

             
“So I have something for you,” he said and I then noticed the small gift bag he was hiding. “Since you won’t be here for your birthday I thought I’d give it to you today.” 

             
“Noah you didn’t have to get me anything.  You’ve done so much for me already.”  I took the wrapped gift out of the bag and started pealing the paper away.  Inside there was the most beautiful notebook I’ve ever seen.  The front was covered in tiny jewels that together formed a stunningly beautiful peacock.  There was a gold lock and key to the side and I realized what it was.  It was a diary.

             
“I remembered you used to have one like this when we were kids,” he said.  “I didn’t know what to-” I didn’t let him finish.  I nearly jumped on him, taking us both down in the process and kissed him as if my life depended on it.  The moment I realized what I’d done I tried to pull back only to feel Noah’s arms tighten his hold. His lips were soft as they explored and tasted, making me turn to mush.  This was the kiss of all kisses. 

             
“Wow,” I said when we finally parted.

             
“I don’t remember you kissing like that when we were kids,” he joked. 

             
“Are you complaining?” I said and tried to sound upset. 

             
“Are you kidding me?  Babe you can jump on me anytime.”  He pulled me closer once again and as his lips found mine I knew he was the one for me. With one kiss he could make me feel things I had never felt before. He made me feel alive, wanted, desirable, and happy. The pizza was long forgotten, the movie never came out of the box.  Instead we spent the entire night kissing until our lips were raw and we could no longer breathe. 

             
The next day, Noah drove both Gigi and I to the airport.  I was excited and nervous.  Soon I would meet my biological father for the first time. 

             
“You sure you don’t want me to go with you?” Noah asked as he took the bags out of the truck.  “I could take a few days off of work, you know.”

             
“Thank you Noah but I really think I should do this on my own.  The only reason Gigi is going with me is because of Brian.”

             
“Well you know where I am if you need me.  I love you Bren.”  I kind of knew how he felt about me because my feelings for him were the same.  Still, hearing him say the words out loud felt amazingly good.  I circled my hands around his neck and pulled him close until our lips were a breath away. 

             
“I love you too.”  He kissed me then, and it felt as if the world had stopped.  It was the most amazing feeling. 

             
“Ok you two knock it off,” Gigi said and pulled me by my shirt.  “We’re going to miss the plane if we don’t hurry.”

             
I gave Noah another quick kiss then waved him goodbye one last time. I couldn’t stop smiling as we walked inside to check in our bags.

             
“So, I guess you finally came to your senses and realized you were made for each other.” 

             
“Ok fine, you were right.  Happy?”  We both laughed and I started to relax as the plane took off. 
Only a few more hours
, I thought. A few more hours and I will be surrounded by a new family.  The flight felt longer than I expected and Gigi ended up napping the entire time.  I took out my gift from Noah and touched the cover gingerly.  It was as beautiful as our love and I prayed that nothing would ever change that.

             
The minute we arrived at John Wayne airport the nerves were back. 

             
“Hey, are you ok?” Gigi asked, concern all over her face.

             
“Yeah, just anxious I guess.  I’m glad we decided to stay at the hotel.”

             
I didn’t want them to meet us at the airport and when Brian asked when we were arriving I kept changing the subject.  We found the car rental place and luckily they still had a few cars available.  Gigi entered the address into the GPS and we were on our way.  Max’s place was in Laguna Beach, and although I’ve never been there, I had a feeling it was going to be beautiful and very ritzy.  When I made the hotel reservations I almost could not believe how much they were charging per night but decided it was better to stay somewhere close to his house as we were not familiar with the area.

             
The Los Angeles traffic did not disappoint and the drive was worse than we had expected.  What we thought was going to be a twenty minute drive, turned into a two hour tormenting experience.  We were cranky, hungry, and exhausted. 

             
“See, this is why I hate big cities.  Can you imagine having to make this drive every day?”

             
“No Gigi, I can’t.  I just want to get this over with.  Do you think we should stop and eat?”  My stomach was hurting and I knew she had to feel the same.

             
“Maybe we should just check into the hotel and then see what’s around there.”

             
The hotel was really nice and looked fairly new inside plus our room had a view of the ocean.  Gigi threw herself on one of the beds and let out a loud sigh. 

             
“Thank God we didn’t go to their house today.  I need at least twenty-four hours to recover.  Think Brian is going to be there tomorrow?”

             
“Yes he is.  You asked me like a million times already.  Look Gigi, you know I love you so this is why I’m going to be honest with you.  What are you going to do if you start having feelings for him?  He lives thousands of miles away.  Are you going to be ok with that?”

             
“I’m not dumb Bren.  I don’t expect him to fall madly in love with me and come to my rescue.  I want a few days to pretend I’m someone else and just enjoy myself.  Sounds crazy I know but I need this.”

             
I gave her hand a squeeze, knowing exactly what she meant.  She decided to take a long hot bath and since we didn’t feel like going back out there and getting stuck in traffic once again, we opted to order room service.  I was going to live on soup for the next few months just to make up for the trip’s expenses but couldn’t worry about it now.  While waiting for the food, I sent Noah a quick text and didn’t expect to hear back from him because it was already past midnight at home.  He answered within seconds.

             
Noah – miss you like crazy

             
Me – you saw me a few hours ago lol but I miss you too

             
Noah – I take it you made it there ok

             
Me – yes. Why are you not sleeping?

             
Noah – I was waiting to hear from you

There was a knock on the door and I got up to answer.  The aroma coming from the cart filled with food was amazing and I realized just how hungry I was. 

Me – babe I have to go but I’ll call you tomorrow.  Miss you

Noah – have a good time. Love you

Me – love you too

I knocked on the bathroom door to let
Gigi know the food was getting cold.  We ate in silence and didn’t even bother to turn on the television.  We fell asleep the minute the lights were out and it was the best night sleep I had in a very long time. 

I woke up feeling refreshed and happy.  There was already a text from Noah waiting for me, wishing me good
luck and letting me know he was thinking about me.  I took a quick shower and changed into a summer dress, hoping it was appropriate for our meeting.  The nerves were still swimming around in my stomach but I was ready for this.  We got in our car and drove around for a few minutes looking for a Starbucks. After we got our coffees we were back on the road, on our way to meet the family.

While
Gigi talked nonstop about seeing Brian again, I kept praying that I would know the right things to say and not make a fool of myself.  We arrived in minutes and I gazed out the window to the beautiful two story house.  There were palm trees on each side of the house and blooming flowers in hanging pots.  It was just as I imagined.  I parked the car in front of the long driveway and walked around on shaky legs. 
I can do this
, I told myself.

“I’m so excited for you,”
Gigi said in a singing voice. She reached out and knocked twice, while I tried to calm myself.  The door opened and it was Brian’s smiling face that welcomed us.  He was as happy to see Gigi as she was to see him.

“Come on in ladies.  I can’t tell you how happy everyone was when they found out you were coming.  Dad still has no idea.”

“Do you think that’s wise?”  I mean what if he changed his mind?  Or what if, like me, he wanted to do this on his own terms?  I pushed the questions aside and followed Brian into the large room.  There was a small foyer that opened into a large living space.  At the end there were double doors and you could see the back yard and the pool.  Everything was breathtaking; from the furnishings, to the art on the walls.  On the side of the living room there was a massive staircase that I assumed led to the bedrooms. 

“Everyone is outside; we are having lunch there. I hope you are hungry.”  I
followed Gigi and Brian outside.  The large backyard had a spectacular view of the city below and it was covered with lush grass and gorgeous flowers.  On the right there was a massive pool with a waterfall.  The left side is where everyone was gathered around and for a few seconds I was able to watch them without being noticed.

“Guys, we have company.”  Everyone looked up in unison but my eyes locked on one particular
person.  He recognized me immediately and started walking towards me.   I couldn’t move; it’s as if my feet were cemented in place and no matter how hard I tried they wouldn’t budge.  The closer he got, I saw that there were tears in his eyes.

“Brenda, my baby girl,” he said and took hold of my hands as if to keep me from disappearing.  “I didn’t think this day would ever come.”  He pulled me closer and hugged me tightly.  His body shook and I knew he was crying.  In that moment I knew just how much it meant to him.  I had made the right decision
. 

There was nothing awkward, nothing remotely weird about it.  It was as if we had known each other all our lives.  That night after everyone went to bed my father and I sat by the pool and talked about my mom.  We talked about all
the times he tried to find me but he knew he had no right to do so while my dad was still alive.  He couldn’t stop looking at me, telling me just how much I looked like my sister, and every now and then the tears would surface. 

The next day we drove back to the hotel and at my father’s insistence, we checked out and moved our stuff into his house.  There was plenty of room there and he wanted to spend every moment getting to know me.  We spent an entire week with them and on our last day, we had a big party where I got to meet cousins and aunts and uncles; there were so many that
I had a hard time keeping up with them all. 

Saying goodbye was hard but we all promised
to keep in touch and thanks to modern technology we knew that wasn’t going to be hard.  I was sad to leave but at the same time I couldn’t wait to see Noah, just like Gigi couldn’t wait to see James.  Brian insisted on following us to the airport and gave Gigi enough kisses to last her until the next visit. 

Noah was waiting for us at the airport, leaning against his truck.  He looked as sexy as ever and my heart jumped happily at the sight of him.  He moved slowly to meet me halfway and encircled me in his arms.

“Welcome home baby.”