Z: What’d you tell him?
Me: That I wasn’t telling him anything, that he’d hurt you and I wasn’t helping him fix it.
Z: Good. Keep it that way.
Me: He was really upset.
Z: Good.
Me: You going to tell me what’s going on yet?
Z: Nope. For future reference, he’s not fixing it. He broke it beyond repair.
My heart plummets.
Z: Sara, please don’t ask me about it again. When I’m ready, I promise I will come to you. Right now, I just need time.
Me: I love you. Please text or call me at least once a day so I know you’re okay.
Z: Love you too and I will.
I eat my dinner with a knot in my stomach. If I hadn’t already ordered food, I probably would’ve just skipped it all together. I only make it through about a third of the plate before I wrap up the rest and put it in the fridge.
I’m seriously exhausted from these last couple of days and decide to turn in early. For the first time in a long while, I sleep all night without dreaming of Samuel.
MONDAY BRINGS MY
first day at Briarwood and I’m super excited. This past weekend, I went shopping and bought so many cute scrub tops I’m afraid they won’t all fit in my closet. When I worked at the hospital, we always had to wear the color scrubs for the day. Mondays were blue; Tuesdays were green. Boring. Anyways, my clinical coordinator, Tracy, said that a lot of times the kids are distracted by the cool kid-friendly scrubs the nurses wear, and I’m going to take every little tidbit of information from her that I can. I’d only had a short amount of time to chat with her at my hospital orientation last week, but I could tell already I was going to like her.
When I meet the nurse I’ll be training under for the next few months, I almost swallow my tongue. He’s absolutely gorgeous, and the moment he opens his mouth to introduce himself, I know we’ll become fast friends. For the next ten hours, I soak up everything that comes out of Michael’s mouth. The shift flies by, and although I’m exhausted at the end, I’m giddy with excitement for this change in my life.
It will also keep me busy for the next few months, because on top of working my regular shift with Michael, I have classes to take a couple times a week.
AS SOON AS I
pull into the driveway, I notice a huge bouquet of lilies in front of my door, and my heart leaps a little. I haven’t heard from Eli since our lunch together, and although I’m not surprised, it hurts a little bit. Are these from him?
I bend down, picking them up in one hand and unlocking the door with the other. Daisy and Diesel make a beeline for the back door. I guess they need to go outside, making me chuckle at their enthusiasm. Placing the flowers on the kitchen bar, I let them out the back door and then just leave it open so they can come back in when they’re ready. Returning to the flowers, I grab the card from the holder.
Congratulations on the new job, Sarbear! Love you big heaps! -B
It brings tears to my eyes that Bryson thought to send me flowers. I love my brother to pieces, and now I feel stupid that I ever even considered the flowers were from Eli.
I remind myself that he basically said, “see ya around,” at the end of our lunch together. I need to stop expecting anything to be from him—texts, calls, random flower arrangements. He’d made his feelings completely clear.
I put water in the flowers and set them in the middle of the kitchen bar. They’re my favorite. Orange lilies. I should’ve known they were from someone in my family. I don’t think anyone but them and maybe Ramzi know how much I love them. I don’t remember my favorite flower ever coming up during my time with Eli.
Since its semi early and I’m still wired from my first day of work, I change out of my scrubs and leash up Daisy and Diesel to take them out for a walk. They’ve been cooped up in the house all day, so they’re definitely feisty and ready to get out of the house. When we hit the dog park a few blocks away, I unleash them and let them run wild. No one else is here, so I plop down in the grass and pull my phone up to text Ramzi since I haven’t heard from her today. She’s done decent with letting me know she’s okay since she’s been gone. I just get random texts: “I’m still alive,” “I miss your face,” and “Ready to come home.”
I shoot her a simple text.
Me: Haven’t heard from you today. You still alive?
She hasn’t been responding to my texts quickly since she’s been away, so I scroll through Facebook while I wait for the dogs to run off some steam and for her to text me back. As I’m scrolling through, a picture catches my eye and I scroll back up. I’m friends with Eli on Facebook, but he’s never on it. Never posts. Ever. As I look at the picture, my heart drops. Destry posted a picture and tagged Eli in it. The girl he was with at The Grove, Eli, and Destry are sitting on the porch I recognize as Eli and Ben’s. They’re sitting at a table, all with beers in their hands, and all laughing happily. This picture is just another reminder that I need to let him go. He’s obviously moving on and I need to learn how to do the same.
After stewing in jealousy for a few minutes, I whistle for the dogs and they take their time coming back to me. Just as I’m leashing them back up, my phone chimes.
Z: I’m heading home in the morning. I’ll drop by and get Daisy around four.
Me: YAY! So excited you’re coming home. I’ll be at work, so I’ll put all her things together on the kitchen bar for you. Dinner tomorrow night?
Z: I need to sleep for about three days. Give me a few days to settle back in and then we’ll do girls’ night in. ☺
Me: Sounds good. Text me when you get back into town so I know you made the trip okay.
Z: K
I am so freaking happy she’s coming home. As the dogs and I walk, I find myself smiling. I have a new job that I love so far, and my best friend is coming home tomorrow. I’m starting feel as though my life is back on track, and it lightens the heaviness I’ve felt weighing on me the last few days.
Just as I round the corner onto my street, I jerk to a stop when I see Eli’s truck in front of my house. What in the hell is he doing here? I stand still for longer than the dogs can take and they start pulling me toward the house. When I get a couple yards away, I see Eli sitting on one of the chairs on the porch, scrolling through his phone with a frown on his face. Diesel spots him, barks loudly, and then jerks the leash out of my hand as he bolts for the porch. Eli looks up just as my feet start moving again, and his face immediately breaks out into a smile. Damn it.
“Hey, beautiful. When did you acquire a second dog?” he asks in a friendly tone while rubbing up and down Diesel’s back.
“Eli, meet Daisy. She’s Ramzi’s actually. I’m dog-sitting,” I respond, trying to keep my voice from shaking. “What are you doing here?”
He regards me for a moment before speaking again. “I just came by to see how your first day of work went.” He reaches down to the table beside the chair he was just sitting in and holds up a bottle of my favorite wine with a ribbon wrapped around it.
“It went great. Thanks for asking,” I reply, trying to unlock the door and keep hold of Daisy, who wants to go after Diesel. I hear Eli laugh before finally grabbing Daisy’s leash from me and pulling her to the side.
“Come on in,” I tell him as I push the door open and the dogs bolt inside for their water bowls.
I rush straight to the back door and open it, because once they’re done drinking, they’ll run outside.
When I turn around, Eli is staring at the flowers on the counter. I can see him trying to read the card without making it obvious, and it makes me chuckle under my breath. Whatever. His brother posts a picture of them on their porch, boozing it up with some woman I witnessed him showing affection too and he gets nosey about some flowers. It literally makes me roll my eyes.
“Are you staying for a glass or did you just plan to drop it off?” I ask, trying not to sound bitchy but failing miserably.
He cuts his eyes back to me, narrowing them at me slightly. “I’ll stay for one glass as long as B isn’t going to care.”
I snort, which I know is totally attractive, before pulling two wine glasses from the cabinet and attempting to uncork the bottle.
“What’s so funny?” he asks, still looking irritated and glancing back at the flowers.
“You. Why do you care if someone sent me flowers?” I ask with a smirk on my face.
“He loves you big heaps,” he mimics in a childish voice.
“He better,” I reply dryly while I pour his glass half full and hand it to him, watching his face. “It’s my brother. Bryson.”
I watch as his face registers what I’ve said and the anger dissipates. “You enjoy torturing me or something?”
“I don’t know why it’d be torture. We’re just friends, right?” I turn to pour my own glass and fill it to the top. I probably should grab some snacks out of the cabinet or I’ll be drunk by the bottom of this glass.
I make quick work of pulling out some cheese, salami, and crackers, followed by the leftover Thai from last night. I nuke the leftovers and throw it all on the bar with forks and napkins.
“So, tell me about your day.”
Over the next twenty minutes, I tell him about the new job. He seems interested, and at the end, he tells me how proud he is of me. I ask about how school is going and he tells me about a crazy project he’s working on in his Educational Psychology class. Our conversation is easy and laid back and it once again reminds me of how well we work together.
He only drinks a couple of sips of his wine in the time he’s here, and I know it’s because it’s a quick visit.
Less than an hour since he arrived, he congratulates me again on the new job, and I walk him to the front door, where he hugs me quickly and leaves.
WHEN I ARRIVE HOME
the next afternoon, Daisy and all her things are gone, and Diesel looks as though he might be depressed. He mopes around all evening, and by the time I’m ready for bed, he’s basically catatonic. I make him get up so he can go outside before we turn in for the night.
Just as I let him back inside, the front door flies open, and Ramzi and Daisy walk through, Ramzi looking irritated as shit.
“What’s wrong,” I shout and rush toward her quickly.
“Daisy is pouting like someone killed her best friend. She’s done nothing but whine since I picked her up. It’s driving me crazy,” she replies, shaking her head.
We watch as Daisy and Diesel hightail it to the back of the house, probably to hide together.
I can’t help but laugh. They’ve been inseparable since Ramzi dropped her off. It only makes sense that they’d miss each other.
“She can stay here if you want to get some rest,” I tell her, taking in the dark circles under her eyes and paleness of her skin. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I just need about a week of sleep,” she mumbles while scrubbing her hands down her face.
I pull her into a hug, squeezing her tightly. “Well, go sleep for a week. I’ve got Daisy.”
She shakes her head, but when the two of them come back in from outside and plop down on the floor in a position resembling spooning, she rolls her eyes and heads for the front door.