Finding Peace (Finding Series Book 1) (15 page)

Should his kiss still have this much of an effect on me? My breathing is rapid and my heart is beating so fast that I think it’s going to beat right out of my chest. He slows the kiss and steps back from me.

“Goodnight Kayla. You’re going to go with me to my game tomorrow right?”

I shake my head yes. “I wouldn’t miss it.” I give him a little smile. I hate to see him go. “Goodnight Blake.”

He kisses me one more time quickly on the lips and backs away, keeping his eyes on me. I wave and he gives me that sexy crooked grin. A tantalizing shiver runs down my spine. He turns and climbs up into his truck. But he’s just sitting there in all his sexiness. I know he’s waiting for me to go inside so he can leave. He's so overprotective sometimes. It's something I love about him. Love? Where did that word come from? He motions his head to the door, telling me to go in. I blow him a kiss, turn, and walk inside.

Blake

Smiling, I watch her as she walks into the house. Sitting for a minute, I try to analyze what it is that's surging through me right now. Seeing her so relaxed and happy tonight made my heart soar. She was beautiful in her hunter green tank top that made her eyes look even greener. Her khaki shorts were short and fit her butt perfectly. It was hot today, so she had her hair pulled up into a high pony tail. It made me want to kiss every inch of her exposed neck.

Honestly, I think she's purposely trying to get me to lose my resolve about us abstaining from getting too intimate right now. There was no way I can have her freaking out on me again, trying to push me away. For whatever reason, she scares too easily and I need to be careful with her. This girl does things to me that I can’t even explain. I’ve never cared enough to put forth this much effort into any of my relationships before.

Tomorrow she will be accompanying me to one of my softball games. I’m excited that she is going to come and watch me play. I hope that we win. It would be a shame to lose with her watching. Even if I'll be dirty and sweaty from the game, I'd like to take her for a bite to eat afterward.

Unsuccessfully, I try not to think about her leaving soon. Everything in me wants to demand her to stay. Of course, I can't and won't do anything of that sort. It’s going to be unbearable to watch her walk away from me not knowing for sure if she will come back. Nonetheless, there is nothing I can do, except hope that she sees we belong together and comes back to me when she has finished with school.

Before she leaves, I'm going to have to have a long talk with her about how we will continue this once she's home. Ideally, I want to come visit her. And for the sake of some kind of communication between us, I'm even going to suggest that we write letters to each other. Long distance phone calls are so expensive, therefore writing will be a way to keep in touch without it costing a fortune. I can’t believe I’m going to write letters. If the guys found out they would most definitely give me a hard time about it.

Also, I hope that she will invite me to her graduation. It’s not a long trip, of course, if it was I would still drive it just to see her smile. My truck is without a doubt going to have some miles put on it. 

I head home knowing it’s getting late and I will have to be up bright and early for work. It will be hard to focus tomorrow knowing that I will be spending the night playing ball, with her watching.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kayla

Tomorrow is the day. Blake is coming to pick me up after I finish packing.

My heart is breaking today. I don’t know how I’m going to say goodbye to him. Because I won't be able to see him tomorrow before we leave, tonight will be our goodbye. He has given me the most amazing week ever. Dinners, miniature golf, ball games, sitting by the lake, the movies, and just sitting with me on the porch.

We like to listen to music together. We both like a range of stuff from all different genres. It’s a way for us to express things to each other that, we aren’t ready to say out loud yet. Songs that tell a story are some of our front-runners. I can’t wait till he gets here, but I know it puts me one step closer to our goodbye. And one step closer to my impending break up with David.

I hear Tessa coming up the stairs. Stopping in the doorway, leaning her head against the frame, she's just staring at me. Because she knows me more than anyone, she understands how difficult this is going to be for me. Through this week, heck, since I've known her, she's been so kind and understanding. I’ve hardly seen her the whole time we have been here. Not once this whole time has she complained. Even though I know she's missing our time together. She hasn't had Asher either because she left him to help me.  Part of me feels like I've abandoned her. Of course, Tessa keeps assuring me that this is exactly what she wanted to happen. But she's just not totally sold on the idea of Blake.

“He’s here and looks so sad. He’s waiting on you downstairs.”

She looks sad as well. I zip up my suitcase and walk over to her and embrace her. “Thank you. It’s going to be hard; in fact it’s going to about kill me. We will make it through this together. I'll be back a little later on. Do you need me to help you get your stuff together?”

“No. Go tell your Mr. Sexy goodbye. I love you Kayla and I’ll be here for you when you come back.”

She hugs me and then walks around me to her own suitcase. I make my way to the staircase. This reminds me of a night before I came here and was walking down the stairs, because David was waiting to take me to dinner. I was dreading every step. I’m dreading every step now, for a totally different reason. This man, I don’t want to be separated from. I’m fairly certain I’m completely in love with him. I now know what I felt for David was never love. Not the kind I feel for Blake. 

Taking the steps one at a time, there he stands with a bouquet of purple roses for me. They're simply exquisite. I love to look up the meaning of flowers, so I know that these signify love at first sight. He may not know the significance of the purple rose, yet even if it is a coincidence, it doesn’t stop me from hoping that he knows exactly what they mean. And that he is sending a message through his choice of color. His face lights up when he sees me. I’ve decided to wear a flirty short dress in a teal blue with some cute sandals. I’m not sure what we are doing and I don’t care.

“These are absolutely gorgeous, Blake.”

He hands me the bouquet and kisses me on the cheek.

“These flowers pale in comparison to your beauty.”

He's so good with words. Such flattery. “Thank you. I’m going to put these in water. I’ll be right back.” Kissing him on the cheek, I hurry to find a vase to put them in, add water before I rush back to Blake. I don’t want to waste a minute of our time together. “I’m ready.”

“Good. Let’s go.”

He opens the passenger side door and assists me up into his truck. I’m so short and it’s fairly high off the ground, so without his help I would probably end up flat on my butt looking up at him with a very sore backside.
Maybe I should suggest he get me a step stool.
I laugh out loud at the thought of that.

“What’s so funny?” He asks.

“Oh, I was just thinking maybe you need to invest in a step stool, so that I can use it to get into this monstrous truck of yours.” I gaze down at him.

“Now what fun would that be? Besides, I enjoy helping you up into my truck. It gives me a great view.” He says with a wink.

I roll my eyes at him. “You are bad. Very, very, bad Mr. McGinnis.”

He laughs. “At least you know what you’re getting yourself into.”

Blake shuts the door and walks around then slides into his seat. He turns and looks at me with a smile.

“You truly do look beautiful.”

I know I’m blushing. He’s staring into my eyes and it’s causing the butterflies that are already in my stomach to take off even more.

“Thank you.” I lower my head and look at my hands. I’m not used to a man giving me so many compliments. It’s a little unsettling because I don’t know how to accept them.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I brought a picnic dinner and I thought we could spend some time at the lake.”

I really love that idea. “That’s perfect, Blake.”

He leans over and kisses me gently and then buckles his seat belt and places his right hand on my thigh. Thankfully, his truck has a bench seat and tonight I have opted to sit in the center to be closer to him.

We pull up and the lake is deserted, not that I mind. Blake jumps out and grabs a blanket and picnic basket from behind the truck seat. He comes around and opens my door. He walks us to the rear of the truck and brings down the tailgate. He then spreads the blanket out in the bed of the truck. Once finished, he turns and lifts me in the back of it. Blake then runs back up to the front and turns on the radio. Before I know it, he’s jumping up next to me and taking the food out that he brought. He’s gone all out. With, some cold chicken, some pasta salad, lots of fruit, including chocolate covered strawberries, and of course sweet tea. I love all these things. He always seems to remember everything I say, which shows me that what I like really matters to him. I can’t remember when someone has ever taken the time to do that for me.

“This is incredible, Blake. Thank you so much.”

He just shrugs and says, “It’s not much.”

He looks a little shy at the moment. “It’s a great deal to me.”

We eat in silence. After we clean everything up we lay back onto the blanket to gaze up at the stars. A song I hadn’t heard before starts to play on the radio and the words are beautiful.
Hands to Heaven
by Breathe. The words are ripping my heart apart. Blake and I gaze into each other’s eyes, listening to the song.

“Tomorrow I must leave

The dawn knows no reprieve.

God give me strength, when I am leaving.

So raise your hand, to heaven and pray.

That we’ll be back together, someday.

Tonight I need your sweet caress,

hold me in the darkness.

Tonight, you calm my restlessness,

You relieve my sadness.”

Tears are free flowing now and my heart is breaking. How can I leave him? He pulls me close to him and brings his other arm around me to enclose me with his body. I quietly sob into his chest.

“Don’t cry, baby. It’s going to be okay. I promise.”

How can he promise me that? I’m going to have to leave after graduation and Florida is even further away from him. I never knew that finding this kind of love would break me completely if I had to let it go. We haven’t said the words, it’s too soon, although I think we can both see it in each other’s eyes.

The song comes to an end and Blake softly speaks. His voice is thick with emotion.

“Kayla, I’ve been thinking and I want to talk to you about some things.”

I try to compose myself so that I can listen to him. He plays with my hair as he speaks to me.

“I want to come and visit you on the weekends if that’s okay with you. I’d like us to write letters to one another. I know people don’t do that a lot now. I just think it’s a good idea. Long distance calls cost so much, writing is a way for us to stay in touch between phone calls. If you write me, I promise I’ll write you back. I’d like to come to your graduation too, that is if you want me to.”

I sit up and look at him like he’s lost his mind. “Yo..You’d do that? I mean you’d drive to see me, write me letters, and come to my graduation?”

He smiles a sad smile at me.

“Kayla, I’d do anything to be with you. You’ve made an imprint on my heart, which will never go away.”

His hazel eyes seem to see straight into my soul while his words are making my heart overflow with joy.

“You have completely changed who I am and who I desire to be. You make me want to be a better man. I want to give you the world and hold you forever.”

He gently caresses my face.

“Your happiness means more to me than my own. You have no idea how much I wish you weren’t leaving me tomorrow. You’re going to leave me a broken man, but I promise with every fiber of my being that we will be together again. I'll make it happen somehow. All you have to do is say that you want the same thing. Please Kayla. Tell me, that’s what you want.”

My voice has failed me, so all I can do is give him a small nod before he claims my lips. The kiss is sweet and gentle. It ends way too quickly. I lay my head on his chest and he lays us back down into the bed of his truck.

I don’t know how in the world, I’m going to leave him tonight. I know it should be impossible; nevertheless, I have become completely attached to him this past week. We have had so much fun. I can’t remember ever laughing so much and feeling this relaxed. He makes me happy and makes me feel special. I couldn’t ask for a better person to spend time with.

“Kayla, you have to promise me that you’re going to write me.”

He places a kiss on the top of my head. My ear is resting over his heart and the steady thump brings me peace and contentment. The man, himself, brings me peace, however, short lived, it may be, I am relishing this feeling tonight. I may have to face the agony tomorrow when I see David, however, just for tonight I have an amazing man holding me and it feels sensational. I could stay right here forever.