Finding Peace (Finding Series, Book 3) (12 page)

Several long seconds passed as Luke tried to catch his breath which was made all the harder since he wasn’t ready to release Gray’s still twitching dick or remove his finger from the man’s rippling ass. Luke gently sucked on Gray as they both came down and then finally pulled his finger free of Gray’s body and let his cock go after giving it one final lick. Ignoring the liquid seeping through his underwear and jeans, Luke climbed up Gray’s body. Gray’s eyes were closed and he was quiet…so quiet that Luke actually felt a moment of panic that he’d somehow inadvertently hurt him.

“Gray…”

Gray’s eyes slowly opened and the sight of unshed tears had Luke reaching for his face. “Oh God, did I hurt you?”

Gray quickly shook his head and even as the tears fell, he reached up and palmed Luke’s cheek. Relief went through Luke but it was short-lived because nothing could have prepared him for the moment when Gray suddenly whispered, “I love you, Luke.”

Chapter Eight

“Will you tell me about this?” Gray asked as he trailed his fingers over the scar that started at Luke’s temple and disappeared into his hair. He’d been petting Luke for a while now, ever since he’d woken up to find Luke lying across his chest. Almost thirty minutes had passed before he’d felt Luke’s breathing change enough to indicate he was awake and Gray had used the time to think back to the night before after he’d let those three words slip from his lips. Luke hadn’t responded to his declaration other than to kiss him long and deep but there’d been a moment after Luke climbed off of him and disappeared into the bathroom that Gray was sure he’d fucked up to the point that he’d lost Luke. But Luke had come back within a minute, minus his jeans and underwear and he’d crawled under the covers next to Gray and dragged him up against his chest.

Luke tensed in his arms but didn’t move otherwise except to drag his fingers back and forth over Gray’s side where he was holding him. His ear was pressed to Gray’s chest and he could only imagine that Luke could feel his racing heart.

“It happened last fall. My unit was on a mission in this village just outside Kabul. There’d been intelligence that a high value Taliban leader was hiding out there with his family so we were supposed to go in and find him.”

“Did you?”

Luke shook his head. “We broke up into two man teams to sweep the residences but when we couldn’t raise our Staff Sergeant and the Private he was with, my buddy Eddie and I went to check on them.”

Luke was quiet for so long that Gray asked, “What happened?”

Luke shook his head. “It was over so fast. We were clearing the residence Staff Sergeant Shaw and Private Barnes had been in and then Eddie was gone. Then I got hit. I woke up in a hospital in Germany a week later with no memory of that night.”

“Your colleagues?”

“Were fine. Barnes was there when I woke up and told me his and Shaw’s Comms had gone down and they’d already cleared the house. He said an insurgent must have come in afterwards…”

“I’m sorry, Luke.”

“Eddie was twenty-two years old. His girlfriend had just given birth to their daughter a couple weeks earlier and he was planning to ask her to marry him on his next leave.”

Gray tightened his arms around Luke since he doubted anything he said would help him make sense of the tragedy.

“What happened after that? Did you go home or back to Afghanistan?”

“Home. It was our unit’s last mission for that deployment so my team was already back in the States by the time I got back. Barnes accompanied me home. About a week after I got back I went to see Eddie’s girlfriend. She lived in a small apartment off base and had decided to move back to Arizona to be closer to her family. I was helping her load up some stuff into her car when the first flashback hit me.”

Gray tensed. “From that night?”

Luke nodded. “I didn’t realize what it was at first – just some voices, a gun-shot, Eddie falling. The doctors had said not to expect my memory of that night to return so I kind of just passed it off as a one-time thing. But it kept happening. Flashes here and there that I couldn’t make sense of.”

The tension in Luke’s frame was telling and Gray said, “You remembered all of it, didn’t you?”

Another nod.

“Tell me,” Gray urged.

“All of it came back to me in a rush one night about six weeks ago.”

Right before Luke had shown up on the side of the road outside Dare.

“When Eddie and I were clearing that house, we heard voices – yelling. We recognized the man’s voice as Staff Sergeant Shaw’s so we followed it to this back room. Shaw and Barnes were standing over this woman and her three kids who were all on their knees. Shaw was convinced she was the wife of the man we’d been looking for and he was screaming at her to tell him where the guy was. She was crying and saying she didn’t know who they were talking about.”

Luke’s voice cracked and Gray stroked a hand over his shoulder. “Then Shaw pulls out his gun and shoots the first kid. A little boy – not even three years old. I shouted at him and then Eddie falls to the ground. I got hit next. After I fell, I saw Shaw point his gun at the next kid and then everything went dark.”

Understanding dawned and Gray felt the bottom of his stomach drop out. “They’re the ones who’re after you.”

“Shaw is. After my memory came back, I went to Barnes’ place to confront him – he’d been by my side the whole time I was in the hospital and he became like my shadow when I got back. I thought he was just trying to be a good friend at the time.”

“He was watching you to see if your memory came back.”

“He and Shaw left me in that house thinking I was dead. Some guys from my team found me and Eddie when they couldn’t reach us on our Comms. After I realized it was Barnes and Shaw, I went to Barnes’ apartment. I found him lying on the floor in his living room in a pool of blood. I was checking for a pulse when Shaw walked in from a back bedroom. When he saw me he actually laughed and said I was saving him a step. Then he pulled a gun on me and asked me if it looked familiar.”

“It was your gun?” Gray asked as everything began to fall into place.

Luke nodded. “He or Barnes must have taken it off me at some point after I was shot.”

“He used it to kill Barnes, didn’t he?”

“My fingerprints all over a weapon that belonged to me…”

“Fuck,” Gray muttered.

“I managed to get the drop on Shaw but he got a shot off before I could get out of there.”

Gray’s fingers automatically sought out the scar on Luke’s side – the one he had helped stitch up.

“I barely had time to get back to my place to get some stuff before the MPs – Military Police - showed up. I didn’t know how many other members of my team were in on it with Shaw so I took off. I’d seen the story about Rhys a few days earlier and I knew he was the only one I could trust.”

“And then you saw that he was a cop again.”

“He’d have no choice but to turn me in,” Luke said quietly.

Gray managed to keep his touch soothing but inside he was burning with frustration and helplessness. “Why did he do this?”

Luke seemed to know what Gray was asking because he said, “The terrorist we were looking for was on the top of the FBI’s Most Wanted Terrorists list – he was their lead suspect in that New Year’s day bombing in New York.”

“I remember that – three people died,” Gray murmured.

“Shaw was talking about how bagging him would launch his career. He had all these plans to run for political office when his enlistment ended later this year – the Senate I think. Turned out the woman and kids he killed weren’t even related to the guy we were looking for.”

“You’re the only witness…” Gray said.

“As far as I know. I don’t know how many of the other members of my unit knew what Shaw was up to. Barnes was young and impressionable so I keep hoping he was the only one, but I just don’t know,” Luke said tiredly.

Gray held Luke for a moment longer and then gently rolled him onto his back and settled on top of him. “I’m sorry, Luke. I know how much they meant to you.”

“They were all I had.”

“Not all,” Gray whispered as he leaned down and kissed Luke. He pulled back enough so his eyes could connect with Luke’s. “I meant what I said last night.”

Luke tensed beneath him.

“I don’t expect you to say it back but I don’t want you to think I just said it in the heat of the moment.”

Luke’s hand came up to cup his cheek. “You’ve been through a lot these past few weeks, Gray. It’s only natural for you to get attached to me…”

Gray tried to ignore the sting of pain that went through him at Luke’s words. “I haven’t been sure of anything since the day the doctor told me the life I’d been living was over. I’m sure of this,” Gray said firmly as he brushed a soft kiss over Luke’s lips.

“I love everything you did for me but that’s not why I love you.” He kissed Luke again but this time it lasted much longer and he could feel Luke’s body responding. Gray skimmed his fingers down over Luke’s face and neck and then stopped just over his heart. “I’ve based my entire career on being able to find the right words, but I’m so scared right now that nothing I say will make you believe me,” Gray whispered.

Luke’s hand wrapped around the back of his neck and pulled him down until their lips were nearly touching. “I believe you, Gray. No one’s ever said those words to me,” Luke admitted before tightening his grip. “No one,” he repeated firmly.

Gray wanted so badly to tell Luke he’d spend the rest of their lives telling him he loved him but the idea of Luke shooting down the idea of them having a future together was too painful to deal with so Gray settled his mouth on Luke’s instead and hoped Luke would feel and taste everything he wasn’t able to put into words.

***

Luke sank farther into the bedding as Gray’s mouth dotted his jaw with soft kisses. He was still reeling from Gray’s admission and while he hadn’t let himself believe the words last night after Gray had said them, he believed them now. It was written all over Gray’s face and in every touch, every caress. Emotion clogged Luke’s throat as Gray worshipped him but when Gray sucked him deep into his mouth, Luke lost the ability to think. The sensual torture went on and on as Gray took him to the brink over and over again. Luke’s whole body felt hot and itchy and overly sensitive and he couldn’t stop himself from whispering, “Gray, please.”

But instead of sending him over the edge, Gray released him and worked his way up Luke’s body and sought out Luke’s lips. A thrill shot through Luke when he felt Gray’s erection rubbing against his.

“Make love to me, Luke,” Gray said.

Luke could only manage a nod and he carefully rolled Gray onto his back. Gray made a move for the nightstand drawer but Luke stopped him and made sure Gray was focused on him. “I do, you know,” he said quietly. “Love you,” he added at Gray’s questioning look.

Joy lit up Gray’s face and Luke kissed him softly. Gray reached to pull a condom and lube from the nightstand and Luke’s whole body seized up. “I’ve never…I don’t want to hurt you,” he admitted.

“You won’t,” Gray reassured him. “Just go slow, okay? It’s been a while for me.”

Luke nodded and then took the condom and placed it farther down the bed. His fingers shook as Gray squeezed some lube on them. He watched as Gray pulled his legs up and apart and the sight of Gray’s opening had his dick jerking hard against his abdomen. As much as he wanted to spend time just exploring Gray, Luke knew he was already at his limit so he swiped some of the lube over the fluttering hole and then began to work one finger inside his lover. Whimpers of pleasure began falling from Gray’s lips as his body sucked Luke’s finger in. He massaged Gray’s inner walls a bit before pulling his finger out and carefully adding a second. As he waited for Gray’s body to adjust, his eyes sought out Gray’s and the stark beauty in the other man’s expression had Luke shifting so that he could kiss him.

“Next time I’m going to taste your pretty little hole,” Luke murmured against Gray’s lips and Gray’s whole body jerked in response and his body clamped down on Luke’s finger. Luke began fucking Gray with his fingers at the same time that he fucked his mouth with his tongue. The carnality of it had Gray writhing against him as he desperately tried to get some relief but just as he sensed Gray’s imminent release, Luke removed his fingers. It took him precious seconds to get the condom on and he added some more lube for good measure but the sight of Gray’s parted lips and glazed over eyes had Luke biting back a curse as he fumbled to get into position. As he lined his dick up with Gray’s entrance, he looked up to watch Gray so he could gauge his reactions. And he was glad he did because the second his crown breached Gray’s body, Gray arched his back and pressed his head into the pillows as a groan of blissful agony tore through him.

Although Luke’s intent had been to go slow, Gray wasn’t as patient and he began pushing against Luke’s dick without any hesitation. The heat and pressure that welcomed Luke as he slid all the way home had him calling Gray’s name, and then his body took over and he began thrusting in and out in long, powerful glides. He sat back on his heels and pulled Gray up enough so that he could watch his swollen cock disappear into Gray’s body. The sight was so overwhelming that he couldn’t help but look up at Gray in wonder. “So fucking beautiful,” he whispered.

Gray shifted up on his elbows so he could watch but it wasn’t enough for Luke so he wrapped his arms around Gray and lifted him so that Gray was riding him. The position had Gray sinking farther down on Luke and he heard Gray’s cry of approval against his shoulder where Gray had buried his face. With every upward thrust, Gray dropped all his weight down to meet Luke’s greedy cock. And the second Luke started to pull out, Gray’s inner muscles clamped down on him to try to hold him in place.

“I love you so much, Luke,” Gray moaned against his ear and then Gray’s lips were on his. Their tongues matched the desperate pace their bodies had set and Luke struggled to get one hand between them to search out Gray’s dick. It was hard and hot and heavy in his hand so Luke began ruthlessly jerking him off in the hopes that they’d be able to come as close together as possible. And seconds later, his wish was granted because Gray shouted against his mouth and then jammed his hips down hard on Luke’s cock. His channel pulsed around Luke which set off Luke’s own orgasm. Shards of white hot pleasure shot to all of Luke’s limbs as the coil that had wrapped tight deep inside of him snapped free and flung him over the edge. Gray’s fingers curled into his back as his body began to jerk uncontrollably in Luke’s arms and his dick convulsed in Luke’s hand.