Finding Strength (4 page)

Chapter Six

Present Day

            
 
As my eyes become seemingly heavier, I let them fall shut. I hear Amy rustling in the chair, standing up, and moving across the room. The sounds of her footsteps are low, followed by the click of the door shutting behind her. I feel a warm, comforting hand glide down my cheek and I lean into the warmth, savoring the feel on my skin. Soft lips press against my temple in the lightest of kisses.

              “I love you, Anna. I’m just going to grab some food for me and Braxton. You sleep, Sunshine.”

              “’Kay,” I whisper back as sleep pulls me under its spell. I’m not sure how long I was asleep for. When I open my eyes, I see the faces of my family, both by blood and those who, over the years, became my family. I attempt a smile, however weak, and manage it.

              “Come on, Brax, let’s go check out that new video game store and give your mom and Amy some time, okay?”

“Okay. I love you, Mom,” Braxton says, leaning over and kissing me on the cheek.

“I love you, too, son.”

“We’ll be back after a while. I love you.” And wit
h
that, both of the men in my life turn and walk out of the door.

“You ready?” Amy inquires.

“Yes, I am.
”

November 11th 2005

It didn’t take long for Braxton to make his way into the hearts of all of those around us. Amy, as I knew she would, spoiled him every chance she got. He wanted for nothing. Every time Amy would go shopping, Braxton went with her. He never failed to return home without something new, or a few new somethings. I believe that is just the way Amy intended it to be. Since she doesn’t have kids of her own yet, not that she doesn’t want them, she takes every chance to have Braxton with her that she can.

“Amy, don’t you think it’s a little bit early to be planning a birthday party for Braxton?” I ask my friend while we sat at the kitchen table.

“It’s never too early, Anna. Besides, I want it to be perfect for him. It’s his first birthday,” she answers. I can see the wheels turning in her mind as she thinks of all of things she can do to make Braxton’s party perfect.

“That I understand, but his birthday is still six months away!” I remind her, smiling as her lips turn into a mischievous grin.

“Right! And I am going to need all of that time to plan the best birthday party any one year old has ever had.”

It’s best not to argue with Amy when she is in planning mode, or when she sets her mind to something. It wouldn’t do any good anyways. She would still plan and you would wind up loving it.

After Amy went home, I decided to read a little while Braxton napped. I have learned, since Braxton keeps me busy, to squeeze in my favorite hobby when I can. I make myself comfortable on the couch, pull a throw blanket over my legs and settle in to the romance of Nick and Shea in Wine & Whiskey by author Nikki Belaire. I am so lost in Shea’s seduction of Nick, that I don’t realize Jacob is standing in front of me until I feel his fingers brush my cheek.

“Oh! You startled me,” I say to him, catching my breath from being caught completely off guard.

“Sorry babe. That must be some book if you didn’t even hear me come in,” Jacob says, he smiles and my heartrate picks up. 

“It’s one of the best I have read in a while.” I return his smile. Moving the blanket from my legs, I set my kindle down on the end table. “I’ll make us some dinner. Can you check on Braxton? He’s only been asleep for about,” I pause, then look to the clock. “Forty-five minutes or so.”

“Of course. How’s my little man been today?”

“Happy as usual. I am sure he wants to see his daddy. I missed you today,” I say, standing and the
n
wrapping my arms around his waist.

“I missed you, too.” Jacob places his hands on my cheeks, his thumbs stroking back and forth over them. His lips descend on mine in one of the sweetest kisses. His lips are so soft, sliding perfectly over mine and just as his tongue seeks to part my lips, Braxton’s cry fills the quiet of the house.

“Guess that will have to be continued later,” he says. His smile is bright while his eyes dance with amusement at our interruption.

“I hope that’s a promise, Mr. Caulder.”

“You can count on it, baby,” he says. His arms fall from my face as he turns to go and get Braxton.

I made Braxton a bottle and opened a jar of mashed potatoes baby food, which Jacob is now feeding him. I’m not sure how Jacob can make such a mess with the mashed potatoes, but he manages it nicely. I stir the noodles in the pot and tell Jacob about Amy’s plans for Braxton’s extravagant birthday party.

“Isn’t it a little too soon for that?” he asks, raising an eyebrow at me. He has learned Amy’s quirky personality and how big of a planner she is.

“That’s what I asked her. According to her, it’s never too soon. She says she needs the time to make it perfect.”

“Does that bother you? Having her plan his first birthday?”, he questions me.

“Not really. I know Amy will include me in it. It’s not like she is saying ‘hands off’ or that she doesn’t want my help. Besides, you have seen the parties she throws. Does it bother you?” I ask him. I didn’t think about how Jacob would feel.

“No, Anna. My top priority is to make sure that you and Braxton are always happy and taken care of. If you are happy with it, I have no problem.”

My heart melts into a puddle in my chest at his words. I don’t think I have ever met a man who is more caring or sincere than Jacob.

“I’m sorry I didn’t think to ask you about it before I gave Amy the go ahead.” My lips turn downward into a frown on their own accord.

“Baby?” Jacob says. I look up to meet his stunning blue eyes. “It’s okay, sweetheart.”

I turn back to the stove to finish dinner. My mind lost in a maze of how could I’s. How could I not think of Jacob feelings about this? I could I not think to ask him first? How could I get so entangled in Amy’s plans that I completely forget all of the things I should have remembered? Jacob places his hands on my hips, his chest leaning against my back, as his chin rest on my shoulder.

“Anna, stop doing that.”

“Stop what, Jacob?” I question.

“Stop feeling guilty.”

I set the spoon on the counter and turn to face him. The love I see in his eyes, reflects the love I feel for this man in my heart. How he always knows what I a
m
thinking, when I am down, when I am happy or sad, assures me that he knows me inside and out. That he loves me to the fullest of his capabilities.

Wrapping my arms around his waist, I lay my forehead to his chest.

“Thank you, Jacob. You are always my voice of reason. You have this ability to calm me when my mind wants to go places it shouldn’t,” I say into his chest. His arms tighten around me. I feel his lips next to my ear, his breath blowing warm on my skin.

“It’s only because you are my center of gravity. I am pulled to you, drawn in and held in place by your essence. Everything I do is because of you and Braxton. Baby, there is nothing more important to me,” he whispers.

I look up to meet his eyes. They are warm and comforting, embracing me in nothing but pure, unadulterated love.

“You were my saving grace in the darkest moment of my life. You are my saving grace still. I love you,” I whisper back to him.

It only takes a split second before his lips are on mine, his tongue taking control and dominating mine. His lips are soft and move against my own in a passionate frenzy. Too soon, Jacob pulls back and rest his forehead on mine. Our breathing is erratic and we both try to regain control. When my eyes once again lock with Jacob’s, the passion I see in them overwhelms me. Never in my life could I have imagined finding a love like we share. I thought they were only reserved for fairy tales, movies, and the romance novels I like to get lost in. Once again, Jacob has proven me wrong and made me a believer of true love.

“We need to finish dinner before we get carried away and burn the house down,” Jacob says with a smirk.

I smack him lightly on his bicep and laugh.

“We couldn’t have that, now could we?” Standing up onto my tiptoes, I kiss his delectable lips once more before turning back around to the stove to finish making our dinner. I feel Jacob’s hand sliding up my arm, to my shoulder and over to my neck, sweeping my hair to the side. His lips touching my skin and skimming over every visible inch, making my already heated skin burn even more.

“No, we couldn’t. Because then, we wouldn’t have our room, our own bed to crawl into later and I do believe I made a promise to you that I plan on fulfilling. All. Night. Long,” he again promises as his teeth nips my neck causing my flesh to break out into goosebumps. Jacob steps back, letting me go, leaving me at the stove to finish cooking, I shiver as he takes his warmth with him, immediately missing his touch.

With dinner done, and Braxton in bed for the night, I make my way to our room. Jacob is standing at his dresser with his head bent forward, almost as if he is praying. He is so still, with his eyes closed so I slowly make my way to him. He lifts his head and turn
s
toward me just as I step up to him. He brings his hands to my face, his face inches from mine. His eyes are dark with undeniable passion. I know my own eyes mirror his. Pushing me ever so gently but with raw need in every movement, Jacob moves me to our bed. As he lowers me down to the bed, he follows. He keeps his promise and takes me to new heights both emotionally and physically. He holds me as if I will disappear. I am where I need to be. Safe, secure, and loved beyond all reason in the arms of the man who is and will always be my unquenchable thirst
.

Chapter Seve
n

Present Day

            
 
“It’s getting late, Anna. The boys will be back soon and you need to rest. I’m going to head out for the night and I’ll be back tomorrow,” Amy says, as she gathers her things to leave.

              “Thank you, Amy.”

              “You’re welcome, always. I’ll be back in the morning. Shane, Zak, Braxton, and Allie are going to some festival in Birmingham tomorrow so we’ll have all day.”

              After Amy left for the night, I turned my attention to the TV. I couldn’t find anything worth watching so I turned on Netflix to watch re-runs of The Andy Griffith show. Growing up in my house as a little girl, my dad watched this show religiously and I came to love it as much as he does. Thinking of my parents and the childhood I had, I know that I am one of the lucky ones. Some kids never know the love of their parents and some have a distorted way of how parenting works. Either way, I had the best example given to me by them. Since they live two states away, they haven’t been able to come before now, but as it stands, they will be here in two days. I’m looking forward to seeing them.

              As I reminisce, the door to my room opens an
d
Braxton peeks his head in.

              “What are you doing out there?” I ask him, smiling as much as my dry lips will allow.

              “Seeing if you were asleep. We just got back,” he says, opening the door further and stepping inside.

              “Where’s Zak?”

              “He’s coming, he’s getting a cup of coffee,” Braxton says, taking the seat on the chair next to my bed. A few minutes later, the door once again opens and Zak walks in, tells me hello, kisses my forehead once and then takes a seat on the chaise lounge. We all spend the next half hour or so watching TV and chatting. Well, the guys do most of the chatting about the differences between what we refer to as the old days, verses now. It doesn’t take long before my eyes are once again too heavy to hold open. Braxton bids us goodnight and makes his way to his room. It’s only minutes after he leaves that sleep ensnares me in its embrace and I rest peacefully.

              The sun has just come up over the horizon and I watch through the slats of the blinds on the window as it makes its accent upwards. As promised, Amy is already here and after we divulge in the muffins she brought, she is ready to get back to work. With her notebook in hand, I begin to recount again the memories that are tucked away in the recesses of my mind as Amy puts pen to paper.

April 26
th
, 2006

            
 
It’s now three weeks until Braxton turns one. I am excited and exhausted. Amy shows no mercy when it comes to making sure that everything is meticulous and on time. She has this thing about outlining every single detail and if one thing doesn’t make it per her schedule, it’s like her whole world will collapse around her and her party will be off kilter. I love that about her, to a point. That’s just one of the many quirks I love about her.

Tonight, we are all going out to dinner, Amy, Shane, Jacob, Braxton, and I. I definitely need a break after all of the last minute shopping Amy and I have done this morning. Braxton is going to have one heck of a celebration. Deciding a shower is in order, I gather up my clothes and make my way into the bathroom. Jacob and Braxton are in the living room building some kind of castle with the building blocks, at least, I think it’s a castle.