Finding You (22 page)

Ian stood up.  “Babe, I don’t know what I have to do to get you to trust me.”

Nova felt her heart sink.  “Ian you are the only person in my life that I have ever trusted.  I guess old habits are hard to break but it’s not you.  My sir, will always protect me.” 

Ian looked at his watch obviously not happy.  “I have an appointment Nova.”

She had always been able to win him over with her, “My Sir” antics but not this time.  “Okay.  I will see you at home later then?”

Ian started shuffling some papers paying her little attention.  When he didn’t reply she simply walked out.

CHAPTER 25

Outside the Empire Building Nova felt as small as the Empire Building was big.  She wasn’t alone anymore and she was going to have to stop acting like she was.  Hurting Ian was the last thing she ever wanted to do and knowing that she unwillingly had made her heart ache.

Nova’s phone chimed as she pulled out onto the road.  Hoping the voicemail was from Ian she was disappointed when it wasn’t but in fact it was still good news.  She had a message that the scholarship fund she had been setting up was finalized.  She sent Ian a text letting him know she would be late.

It was 8 o’clock when she got home.  Ian’s car was in the garage.  He never responded to her text which meant he was still upset.  She put the envelope down in her purse and prepared herself to deal with him.  She wanted desperately to tell him what she had done but tonight wouldn’t be the right night.  Tonight she needed to do what she should have done already and put her faith in the man she loved.

Ian was sitting alone in his office when she found him. 

“Ian, it’s not about trust and it’s not about believing in you.  It’s about me learning to let someone else help me.”

He didn’t say anything, he just listened.

“I have been alone my entire life until you.  You have no idea how scared I am to drop my guard for fear that you’ll decide to walk out on me and this completely messed up life I’ve come from.”

Ian pushed his desk drawer closed.  “Nova, is it fear of me leaving or is it fear that you don’t deserve someone to love you.”

She sat down.  Her legs suddenly unsteady.  She had always been strong but now Ian had her heart.  Her vulnerability scared her to death and even more so she was scared of what would happen to her if he did break her heart.   Love was something she had never known until him and growing up with a mother who didn’t love her had made her consider that maybe she wasn’t good enough for anyone.  A mother’s love should be unconditional.  What did that really say about her if her own mother didn’t care? 

With tear filled eyes she looked up at him, “Both.”

She felt the tears roll down her cheeks. She was nothing, what did Ian really see in her.  “Ian you have everything.”

“No, I had nothing until you.”

Ian stood and came to her.  Softly he kissed the top of her head while she wept.  “I’m yours Nova for as long as you will have me.  You seem to forget you’re not the only one here who is out on a limb baby.  Having you in my life has changed me into someone I never thought I would become.  I feel right now and that is only because of you.”

Nova threw her arms around his neck burying her head into the heat of his neck.  Only Ian had ever made her feel safe.  “Please don’t ever walk out on me Ian.  You have my whole heart.”

Ian kissed her gently.  “I am yours forever Nova if you will have me.”

Through tear filled eyes she placed a gentle kiss on his lips.  “Forever doesn’t seem long enough.”

Wiping her tears away, Ian reached into his pocket.  “If you really mean forever, then let’s start with this.”  He placed the small black box in her hand.

Nova lost all breath at the sight of the tiny box and the beautiful man who was on his knees in front of her.  “Oh my God,” she said when Ian opened the box.

“Nova, will you marry me?”

She watched him as he slipped the most beautiful diamond ring she had ever seen onto her ring finger.  It was hard to keep from shaking.  Never did she ever dream of a life with anyone let alone the most perfect man she could imagine.  “Yes,” she said throwing herself on top of him causing them both to tumble to the floor beside his desk.

Nova and Ian lay completely spent on the floor of his office.  She looked up noticing her panties hanging off his computer monitor.  She laughed reaching up to grab them.

“What is it with you and desks Nova?  We fuck on them and now under them,” he said pulling her back down to his side.

“Baby you know what you do to me when I see you sitting behind your desk.  You are so powerful and sexy, just knowing I can get you to lose that professional business mode makes me feel like I share a little bit of the power.”

He snickered in amusement. “I’m going to move a desk into the playground.  At least then I can tie your hands down and control you.”

“Ha,” she said laughing.  “You know you love it when I get wild on your desk.”

“I guess we can add under it as well,” he said nudging her.

Nova curled into him resting her hand on his chest staring at the beautiful ring he had given her.

“Do you like it?” he asked watching her.

“It’s absolutely perfect and I feel like I need a crane to pick up my hand.”

“It’s not that big Nova.”

“Yes, it is Ian.  You know I would have been perfectly happy with a Cracker Jack box ring don’t you?”

“Trust me; I have spent hours trying to find the perfect one because I knew you wouldn’t want anything extravagant.”

Nova started laughing, “and this isn’t your version of extravagant?” she asked teasing him.

“I finally took the advice of the sales person and bought the ring I wanted you to have so here you go.”

“I love you with all my heart Ian.”

“Back at
ya
, sweetheart.”

“You are making fun of me, what did I say that sounded so southern.”

“Nova every time you get nervous that sweet southern draw you have bubbles right to the top.”

“Seriously? I always thought I covered it well and don’t forget my great poker face.”

“You do have a good poker face; one of the best, but the minute that mouth of yours opens you might as well turn your cards over for me to see.”

“Damn, you don’t miss anything about me do you?”

“Not a chance,
darlin
.”

“Well that was just mean.”

Ian stood up and put on his pants.  “Come on baby, I’m hungry.”

Nova started to stand up.  “Oh Ian.”

He bent down immediately, “what’s wrong, are you hurt?”

“I can’t get my hand off the ground, can you call for help,” she said laughing as Ian stood up and picked her up into his arms.

“You get twenty with the paddle for that one sweetheart.”

“Oh no sir, please not with the paddle.”

Ian walked out of the office with her after grabbing his keys and headed to the end of the house.  “Keep running that mouth, you’ve got thirty now.”

Ian sat her down only long enough to unlock the door.

“You just proposed to me and now you are going to spank me,” she said walking inside.

“Yep, and staring down at the ring on your finger is only going to make it better.”

“Why,” she asked as he ordered her to the saw horse.

“Because now I know I will have your ass for the rest of my life to punish every time you need it.”

He bent her over and tied down her hands.

“You might not think that way in forty years when my ass is all wrinkled and I’m too old to bend over this thing.”

Smack!

“Ahh,” she hissed
.

“Count!”

“One.”

Smack!

“Two.”

“Tell me why we are in here.” 

Smack.

“Three…fuck!
”

“I know that wasn’t profanity coming out of your sweet little mouth was it?” 

Smack.

“Four.  No Sir, it wasn’t.”

Smack!

“Why are you in here?”

“Six, because I made my sir mad.”

“No, that’s not it.”

Smack!
 

“Seven.  Because I talked back and my sir doesn’t like me to make fun of him.”

Smack!

“Wrong again.”

“Eight.  Oh my God, I don’t know.”

The ninth smack came with half the force.  “Because you have made me the happiest man alive and I love nothing more than to see your sweet little ass turn that beautiful shade of pink.  I bet it’s not the only thing that’s blushing.  Count!”

“Nine.”

“I bet if I touch you, you are wet.” 

“Smack!”

“Ten.”  There was no point in answering.  She loved it as much as he did and with the blows now more tolerable she felt her insides tingling.

At thirty she was so wet she thought it was going to run down her legs like the tears rolling down her cheeks.

Ian untied her hands and carefully laid her on the bed.  The touch of his hand to her stinging backside made the sting all the more real.  He wiped the tears from her face and kissed her.  Soft at first, then slow licks at the seam of her lips until she opened and let him in. 

She was helplessly his as she whimpered, desperate for his touch, desperate to have him inside her. 

“What do you need baby?”

“Fuck me Ian, please.”

Ian stood up and pulled down his pants.  “On all fours, I don’t think your ass can take the sting of laying on it and to be honest I want nothing more than to see that bright pink ass while I fuck you.”

Nova sat up and took the position gladly.  She needed him.

Ian ran his finger down her slit.  “I love this Nova.  You have no idea what it does to me knowing I can make you this wet.”

Ian stood up and went to the cabinet.  He came back to the bed with one of the butt plugs and a bottle of lube.  “Tonight I am going to fill you full Nova.”

She gasped when she realized what he was going to do.  He carefully caressed her tiny little hole finally pushing his finger in to loosen her muscles.  First one then two trying to coat her with enough lube before pulling his fingers out and applying it to the plug.  “Take a deep breath Nova then relax so I can put it in.”

Nova did as he asked.  The burn as he pushed it in and out took her breath.  Once it slid past the tight muscles she gasped at the fullness. 

“Nova, safe word if it’s too much.”

She shook her head then she felt him push inside her.  “Oh my God.”

“Nova, the plug makes you tighter here, breathe with me baby.   I promise you will love it but you have to let me in.”

He pushed in and withdrew each time going a little further.  “Fuck Nova, you’re so tight baby.  Are you alright?”

The pain turned into pure pleasure as he filled her completely.  She moaned.  The fullness was extreme but the pleasure of the fast approaching orgasm made her forget all the pain.  She couldn’t speak.

~  ~

“Christ Nova, you are going to kill me,” he said feeling her muscles clench around him and the wetness of her orgasm cover his shaft.  He fought off his own release wanting to bring her to orgasm one more time.  Harder and harder he thrust until she finally screamed his name rendering him helpless to do anything but ride out his orgasm with her. 

After catching his breath he carefully removed the plug.  Nova was completely shattered as she lay spent on the bed.  He would never get tired of this and the diamond on her hand proved how serious he was to keep her forever.

Was it bigger than she would have wanted, of course but the six carat solitaire sparkling on her hand was like a beacon in the night.  Any man who dared getting close to her would know she was his.  Would he ever tell her that?
Hell no.

Lying down next to her, he pulled her into his arms and listened as her breathing evened out and sleep took her. 

In all honesty he had intended to keep the ring for a little longer before he proposed.  He hadn’t made up his mind how he was going to do it until she came into his office tonight. 

Thinking of her confession that she didn’t think she was good enough for him almost brought him to his knees.  How she managed to see nothing but goodness in him he would never know but he was damned sure not going to risk letting her insecurities about his commitment to her get in the way.  He loved her, plain and simple with a strength he had no idea existed.  She was his and he was hers and that made pulling out the ring tonight to show her how much she meant to him better than any proposal he could have thought up on his own. 

~  ~

She woke up and felt Ian stroking his fingers down her side.  “How long have I been asleep?”

“About an hour,” he said looking at his watch.  “How do you feel?”

She smiled.  “Like the luckiest woman on the planet.”

“Of course you should, you get to spend the rest of your life with a Greek God with a huge dick.”

The room filled with the sound of her laughter.                “I would hit you if I had enough energy to roll over.”

“Shh.  Come on and let me help you up.  I will run a bath for you and then we need to put some ointment on that beautiful red ass of yours.”

Ian ran the tub full and helped her in.  As she relaxed into the water he climbed in and sat behind her.   He wet the washcloth and washed her body from top to bottom including between her toes.  “Sit up baby and let me see your ass.”