Finding You (8 page)

The distinctive sound of a door slamming shut startled me, someone had seen us. Pushing against Angel’s chest again, he slowly took a step back away from my body, his face a picture of confusion. I quickly stood and made my way to the door, gasping as a scent filled my senses making my mouth water. It smelled like spiced apple and cinnamon. It smelled like Christmas. It smelt like Logan.

I felt as though I couldn’t breathe, questions were swimming in my mind as I pushed back the urge to vomit. What the hell has just happened? I could feel my world slowly tipping on its axis, pulling me into multiple directions. What exactly had Logan just seen? I had to find him and explain, I may not know what was going on with Logan and I, but I needed find him. Turning to a stunned Angel, I smiled tightly. He had moved to sit on the bed, his elbows resting on his knees. Damn he was gorgeous.

“I have to go.” I said in a breathless whisper. Angel seemed to sense that something had changed as he walked toward me, his gorgeous blue eyes filled with concern as he stood in front of me. Placing his finger underneath my chin, my whole world began to falter, taking me with it. I stumbled from the sheer intensity pulling between us, my body quickly responding to his touch as he grabbed my shoulders, catching me before I fell into the wall behind me. But this time, his touch didn’t cause me to melt. Instead, it felt like a slow tortuous burn. And part of me wanted to stay to see just how far the burn would go, but I needed to run towards Logan. Not only to find out where we stand, but to try and make sense of … well, everything.

“Angel.” I whispered, my voice cracking from a sudden feeling of rage that was holding back my voice. My throat felt like a volcano biding its time, building up and balancing on the cusp of erupting. Angel’s eyes widened at my response; only moments ago his lips were touching mine. I still felt the searing heat from the kiss on my bruised lips.

“Neva.” Angel groaned hoarsely, slowly placing a lingering kiss on the corner of my mouth, a whimper escaping my lips and making me swoon. I had to get out of here, knowing that if I locked eyes with his, I would be pulled in again. I had to find Logan.

“I have to go,” I repeated. Angel’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion before understanding washed over his features, knowing that I needed to get away. His eyes blazed a dark hue of crashing ocean blue shades, boring into me.

“I’ll see you around, Neva,” He said, taking a step back. His gaze lingered before opening the door and leaving me in a puddled mess.

I was finally able to catch my breath once I heard the door click shut, the intensity in the room dying down to neutral territory. My legs quickly started to respond to my brain, moving as if ready for a marathon. I needed to get out of here, I needed to find Logan and find out what the hell is going on. My throat was screaming in protest as I could feel the lava build up inside me, pushing my anger to boiling point. Quickly making my way out of the room and down the stairs, I dodged the bodies that were littering the staircase, most of them trying to rip each other’s clothes off in a drunken haste.

I needed to find Logan, but I had no idea where he could be, as I got to the bottom of the staircase I was so focused with determination to find him I walked straight into the hard chest of Ace. His hands quickly wrapped around my shoulders to steady me, his eyes took in my body from head-to-toe, checking I wasn’t physically harmed.

“Are you okay, Neva?” He asked, clearly concerned by the angry snarl on my face.

“I’m fine, have you seen Logan?” I asked, trying to smile sweetly to reassure him I was fine. He could look scary to any outsider, but underneath the muscles, tattoos and the douche bag persona, he was loyal to his friends, and that meant he was loyal to their sisters too.

“Saw him a couple of minutes ago actually. When you find him, tell him that he owes me for the fucking wall.” He said as he pointed over his shoulder. Looking in the direction he was pointing, I gasped. There was a hole in the wall about the size of a fist just beside the front door. What the fuck happened? What had he done? Ugh, tonight couldn’t get any more damn confusing. But before I could ask Ace exactly what had gone on, he was already on his way back to the party with two girls under his arms, guys hooting and cheering as he walked back into the kitchen. Rolling my eyes, I made my way out of the front door, the floor cold against my aching feet as I realized I had left my shoes in Ace’s room.

As I carefully navigated my way down the steps, I started to look around the people who were in the front yard trying to find Logan. Where was he? I started searching for the Jeep within the maze of cars that were still littering the street. There were fewer cars parked outside than before, but it didn’t matter, I could spot that Jeep from a mile away. Walking down the driveway I spotted it, parked further down the road.

As I made my way over, I shuddered from the obvious temperature drop, I wrapped my arms around my waist, hugging my body to try and heat it back up again. I was now close enough to the Jeep to see Logan sitting in the driver’s side with his head against the steering wheel, it was now or never. I slowly made my way around to the passenger door, he still hadn’t noticed I was there until I threw open the door and climbed in, making him jump and bolt upright.

I was ready to let him have it when I noticed him nursing his hand as it started to swell before my eyes. That didn’t look good. Moving quickly, I pulled his hand into mine to inspect the damage, it was just as I had expected, the dumb ass had punched the damn wall! Logan flinched as I ran my fingertips over his wrist, causing him to pull it back into his lap.

“Don’t.” He said in a defeated tone, he wouldn’t even look me in the eye. What the hell? He had no right to be pissed off with me! My blood boiled as anger shot through me like a raging bull.

“What the fuck, Logan?” I spat, his face quickly snapping around to finally look me in the eyes.

“Are you fucking serious right now, Neva? Why the hell are you angry at me? I wasn’t the one nearly fucking another guy on the dance floor while dumb ass here was getting you a drink!” He shouted as a wash of anger took over his face. “Then, I find you sticking your damn tongue down his throat in Ace’s god damned bedroom! Tell me, Neva, did you give it up to him?”

The acid lava building in my throat reached violent temperatures as the volcano engulfed my voice, suddenly erupting with so much vehemence that the words physically hurt as they exploded from my mouth.

“That’s fucking rich coming from the man whore who can’t keep his dick in his pants!” I spat viciously, the realization hit him like a car. “Yeah, I saw your grope and grind session! I hope it was fucking worth it because yet again, you think with your damn cock!” My whole body was shaking with fury as hurt flashed in Logan’s eyes, but just seconds later it was quickly taken over by the look of rage.

“What the hell are you talking about, Neva?” He screamed, wincing as his hand jolted from his sudden movements.

“Don’t play the dumb card with me, Logan! I know what I saw, I walked out back to find out where the hell you had gone, but it was fucking obvious when Georgia Mathews was practically dry humping you like the dog she is!” I shouted, pointing a finger in his chest. Looking down at my finger, he swiped it away with his good hand, suddenly looking up at me with a smirk on his face. He was fucking smirking!

“No Neva, what you saw was a wasted Georgia looking for a lay! She was so wasted that Ace had to call her damn brother to come and get her.” He said, lowering his voice a notch as he rolled his eyes, I didn’t care if Georgia was wasted. My anger was still there.

“You loved every minute of it, Logan, I saw your damn face!” I spat, I was so close to slapping that ridiculously beautiful face of his.

“Yes, I did.” He stated flatly causing tears to sting my eyes, the anger quickly simmering as the pain crept in. I couldn’t look at him anymore, his eyes were slowly breaking my resolve. I suddenly felt Logan’s hands on my face, wincing as the hurt cut deeper, forcing me to look into his eyes as tears fell to my face relentlessly.

“I loved every minute of it because a girl kissed me today in this very Jeep.” He said, his words like daggers slicing me open, forcing me to bleed. “And then she came to this party dressed in electric blue, leaving me so breathless, it hurt. Then we danced and I felt like I was flying.” Sobs escaped my mouth as Logan pushed away the tears that just kept coming. “I loved every minute of it because all I could see was you, all I could feel was you. But then I saw you watching me and I hadn’t even noticed what Georgia was trying to do until I threw her off my lap to find you and explain.” He paused before taking his hand away from my face, instantly missing the physical contact. Sighing, he continued.

“But then I found you kissing another guy, and all I felt was rage; and I stupidly took my anger out on a wall. I was insanely jealous, Neva.” He took in a shaky breath as he ran his fingers over his injured hand.

Panic engulfed me at Logan’s words, I hurt him. That realization felt like the daggers from before were now twisting painfully in my chest.

“I’m so sorry.” I croaked through sobs, reaching out to touch Logan’s face. But when my palm met his cheek, I sobbed harder. He leaned into my touch, closing his eyes for just a moment, only to snap them open and pull away from me.

“I need to go and get my hand looked at.” Logan said, looking down at his injured hand, wincing as his skin changed from a perfect bronze to a vast range of blues, purples and blacks within minutes.

“I’ll go with you.” I said, reaching around for my seat belt. This was my fault and I had to fix this.

“No, Neva.” He said, stopping me from buckling in. “I’m going to do this on my own.”

“What? Why?” I asked, confused. I didn’t understand.

“I just need some time to work some things out in my head.” He said, shrugging his shoulders.

“Okay, when will I see you again?” I said, the vulnerability evident in my voice.

“Soon, I promise. I just need some time.” He said as he placed his forehead against mine. “I will always keep you safe from your demons, Neva, whether they are in your nightmares or too close for you to see.”

I understood the double meaning of what he had just said to me. There was no doubt that he thought Angel was no good for me, that he was another one of my demons, sucking me in and forcing me to hurt, just like the ones in my nightmares.

I nodded, letting him know I understood before I made my way out of the Jeep.

“Stay safe, Neva.” Logan whispered as I stood next to the Jeep with my hand on the open door, using it to support myself as my body suddenly turned into a dead weight. Flashing him a reassuring smile, I sighed.

“Always,” I said. I shut the door and stepped back as I watched Logan drive away, not knowing if or when I would see him again.

I woke up to the biggest damn headache of my life, ugh. The room spun as I pried my eyes open one at a time, taking in my surroundings. My electric blue dress was in a crumpled mess on the floor, my desk chair knocked over. What the hell happened last night? I tried to force my fuzzy head to think back, pushing through the pain of my thundering head. Memories of music, dancing and kissing flashed before me, but they were quickly squashed by the hurtful reminder of Logan driving away, leaving me all alone. He left because of what I did. Tears stung my eyes as I stared up at the ceiling, trying to remember what happened after he left and how the hell I got home.

Suddenly, the most irritating noise known to man was making my head throb even harder. But even though my head felt like it was going to explode, I smiled. The irritating noise was coming from the floor beside my bed. Sitting up and leaning over slightly, much to the protest of my head, I found a passed out Tate snoring like a damn wart hog with a head cold. Peering over Tate, I looked over at Low’s bed to find it empty, weird.

I was completely clueless as to what happened after Logan left, but judging by my sudden amnesia and aching head it looked like it involved a stupid amount of alcohol. I’m never drinking again. But I couldn’t dwell on it too much as my head rattled violently. Shit, I’m
really
not drinking again! Standing up, my legs suddenly felt like jelly and my head felt like a train wreck. Wobbling slightly, I took my first step. Really not a good idea, searing pain shot through my temples faster than my mind could register it, oh shit! Taking a staggered breath, I pushed past the pain as I stepped over a sleeping Tate, my bladder begging for relief.