Finn (39 page)

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Authors: Ahren Sanders

BOOK: Finn
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“In the weeks following, several people contacted the family with names of community resources dedicated to families of the fallen. I shied away, spending my time with my niece, my volunteering, my work, and at the time, my boyfriend.”

My body seizes.

Presley gives a nervous giggle. “That’s right. Remember the Prince Charming? He was real! My brother actually did send a man to take care of me. Oh, but listen up… it wasn’t just any man… it was another Marine!”

The room applauds, soaking in her words.

“That’s right, a big, bad, Marine. The kind who risked his life to save his best friend years earlier in a roadside bomb.”

She looks straight at Ember and Robbie, still avoiding me. Ember gives out a hoot, and the whole table joins in. I slither down, feeling the eyes in the room come to me.

Fuck!

“So, we’ve covered a lot here tonight, but here’s where the story turns important. This is why Jenna invited me to speak.

“Okay, so my fairytale has an unconventional ending.” Presley goes somber, still avoiding eye contact with me. “I fell in love with a man who takes risks for a living. I thought I could handle it; I even embellished a lifetime of it. Then, the unthinkable happened. He was shot. For hours, I was in limbo on his condition, and when I finally saw him, he was going to be okay. But something happened to me, something I didn’t realize at the time. I let my fear dictate my rationality, and I walked away from him, thinking I could never live through losing him, too. So I gave up.”

She takes a sip of water and focuses on her dad.

“When I came home, heartbroken and numb, my dad and brother admitted to me they’d been to a few of the grief groups, needing to talk about my brother’s death. Then they told me they’d taken Whitney to a group for kids who had lost a parent. It was so therapeutic to them, and my brave niece had made friends with other children who could talk about their deceased parents.

“My dad drove me to my first counseling appointment and stayed until I was done. He banged on the door when he heard me bawling through the door. He screamed, begging the counselor to open up, and he sobbed along with me, hearing me vocalize what I didn’t even realize I was holding in. When it was over, I fell into my dad’s arms like the fifteen-year old girl who lost her mom, releasing all the feelings I’d harbored for years.”

She wipes a small tear from her eye and finally looks at me with clarity.

“It’s been a few weeks, but I’ve finally unleashed some of the deepest, darkest fears that were suppressed. My boyfriend getting shot triggered something in me, something so deep and oppressed that I didn’t know it was there. Now, I know that saying I was taking a chance wasn’t enough. I finally learned I needed to believe in something greater.” Her eyes glance around the room, stopping on random people. “So today, I stand here in front of all you—mothers, fathers, grandparents, wives, husbands, brothers, sisters, girlfriends, boyfriends, friends, even children… We are survivors. Maybe you haven’t lost anyone, but we’re survivors all the same.”

Fuck Me! Fuck Me! Fuck Me!
Why didn’t I see it? How could I be so blind and stupid? She was hurting; she was taking a risk the whole time. Me getting shot was the Pandora’s Box of her fears. I stare fiercely at her, willing her to look my way. She continues to speak, her voice cracking and breaking my heart at the same time.

“I’m not taking anything away from those who serve in the present or the past, but for those of us in a support role, there are programs and people that can help share your worry and carry your burden. Believe me, it’s worth talking to them. I have gone through my own form of hell, but I’ve learned in the process.”

Jenna gets up and skirts around the back of the room, stopping by Max.

“So, I’m going to close with this. Sometimes, it takes losing almost everything to realize your fragility. My advice is to lean on people, let your fears be known, and seek the guidance that may bring you happiness. If anything, you may find the strength to get up in the morning with a renewed sense of belonging and understanding. For me, there was profound beauty in unleashing the burdens. I’m not herculean in any way, but each day, I’m stronger. Everyone deserves that feeling.”

Presley gives a small smile and moves back for Jenna to take the stage. My adrenaline starts to spike with the need to get to her. The Marine escort from earlier offers his arm to Presley, and I finally move.

“Fucking bullshit. She’s not going through another day in hell without me by her side,” I mutter, shifting to my feet and heading to the side doors. A firm grip on my forearm stops me, and I spin to face Jeff with fire in his eyes.

“Don’t fuck this up, or I swear to God, you’ll wish you never met me. My baby girl is vulnerable and hurt. I’ll give you one chance and one chance only. She ends up in tears, you end up back in the hospital.”

His stare is intense, but his meaning seeps into my skin.

“Jeff, I’ll take care of her. You’ll never be the one waiting outside a closed door again without me by her side. If she’ll have me back, I’m never letting her leave me.”

He seems to accept this and lets my arm go as the applause for Presley dies down, and Jenna starts talking.

I maneuver around the tables, keeping my head low, trying not to draw attention to myself. My target is the side stage.

But when I get close, Max is the only one waiting. He looks at me with a disgusted snarl. “You took long enough.”

“Where is she?”

“She’s gone, but lucky for you, I have a plan. Even you can’t fuck this up.”

I say a little prayer and let him lead me through the kitchen and up the service elevator. He has a tray waiting with everything I could ask for.

“I should fucking take you to the ground. I searched for her over an hour.”

“Served you right. You were a dick.”

“I know, but where’s your loyalty?”

“She cheated, I’d be by your side. She lied, stole, deceived, I’d be by your side. But she laid it out and you let her walk away. I wasn’t going to leave her alone while you came to your senses.”

“Appreciate it.” I give him a chin jerk and push the room service tray forward. “What room?”

“1128.”

“That’s ironic. That’s today’s date.”

“It’s not weird. She asked for the specific room number.”

I don’t have time to process the meaning as I take the room key he offers and roll the cart down the hall. My main goal is getting to Presley.

Chapter 33

Presley

I
t’s over. I sigh in relief and drape across the bed, too drained to remove my shoes from my aching feet. The door clicks, and I assume Ace has returned with a bucket of ice.

“Thanks again, Ace. Help yourself to a drink.” I don’t even roll over to face him, but just close my eyes and try to remember exactly what I said tonight. The whole speech seems like a blur. The only thing I remember is the look on Finn’s face the one time I allowed myself to glance at him.

“Who the fuck is Ace?”

At the sound of his voice, I leap and scream at the same time, my pulse racing. “Finn?”

“Expecting someone? Someone named Ace?” The muscle in his jaw ticks as he stares at me.

“Yes, he was getting me some ice. My feet hurt.”

His eyes rake down my legs to my feet and then back up, landing on my face. He steps from behind the service cart and stalks to me.

I’m frozen in place until, suddenly, he’s in front of me. The heat and intensity in his gaze sends a chill down my spine. His usually crystal blue eyes have deepened into a sea-blue and are swirling with emotion.

One of his hands grips my hip as the other glides over my shoulder, up my neck, and cups the back of my head, urging me forward. He runs his thumb along my jawline and tilts my face to his. Confusion fires off in my brain with his act of intimacy.

“W-w-what are you doing?” I stutter.

“This shit ends tonight. I’m sorry I was an ass earlier. There is no excuse for my behavior. I blame it on self-preservation. Seeing you tonight hurt a thousand times more than taking a bullet. When you brushed your lips across mine and walked away, the finality of the situation set in. I came after you, but I was too late. My heart and head were in a raging battle to find you and drag you back to that bathroom, so I could tell you that
you are the most wonderful thing in my life.
It’s not the other way around. Letting that moment slip by, and you walking away, was the biggest mistake of my life.

“When you entered that room tonight, emotions washed over me I’d never experienced before. If I could have gotten to you without making an ass of myself, I’d have been by your side. I physically had to restrain myself to my seat. Hearing your story crumbled the last bit of restraint. No more pride, no more misery, it was over.”

“Do you forgive me?” My voice quavers.

“Forgive you? It’s me who should be asking your forgiveness. You tried to reach out to me, and I ignored you. I’ll never forgive myself. I didn’t throw away your letters or delete your texts. It was too hard to look at them, but I knew one day I’d need to. So I lied to you.

“Right here, right now, I’m telling you that I love you more than you can ever imagine. My heart belongs to you forever. Tell me you forgive me.”

I let out an anguished cry and throw my arms around his shoulders, shaking as I sob with happiness and relief. “Of course, you—”

I don’t get to finish my sentence because his mouth crashes against mine, his tongue slipping between my lips. I whimper at the invasion, then meet him stroke for stroke. My chest quakes against his as I continue to cry while pouring weeks of pent up frustration and heartbreak into the kiss.

The faint taste of whiskey fills my taste buds, and I press closer, flexing my hands at the base of his scalp. Goosebumps run up my arms and neck as my blood starts to boil with need. I grow dizzy but don’t dare pull away.

The salt of my tears leaks through our lips and coats both our cheeks. He deepens the kiss, his hand on my waist sliding down to grip my ass, and rocks his hips into mine. The thick bulge in his pants hits my pelvic bone, and I moan, grinding against him.

The slam of the door and loud clearing of a throat jolts me out of my haze, and Finn growls, tearing his mouth away from mine.

“What?”

Poor Ace is looking at us with wide eyes and his jaw hanging open. I can only imagine what we looked like when he walked in.

“Um, here’s your ice, Presley. I had to go to a few different floors.”

“Thanks, Ace,” I manage to say before hiding my face in Finn’s neck.

“I’m going to go now. You have my number if you need anything.”

Finn’s throat rumbles against my cheek, and a giggle escapes as I hear the door open and shut again.

“Before I lay on this bed and strip you naked, tell me how many people have keys to this room?”

“There were six keys made.”

“Six? What the fuck for?”

“Dad, Johnny, Max, Reese, you, and me. Your key went to Ace.”

He bends, moving his head back, and scans my face. “You had me a key made?”

“I did,” I whisper.

“Why?”

“I went into that bathroom to tell you about the presentation. You were my number one choice to escort me tonight. Ace was a fill-in.”

He flinches and grasps my waist tighter. “I’m sorry, baby.”

“It’s okay.”

“I’m an asshole.”

“Can we not relive it? I’d like to go back to the making up part.” I flex my hips into his.

“As much as I’d like that, we need to make an appearance downstairs. There’s a crowd probably counting down the minutes until they can burst through that door. We’ll stop by the front desk and have new key cards made.”

I release my hold on him and move back, straightening my dress. I hate to admit it, but he’s right. The last time my dad and Reese tried to talk to me, I was bawling after leaving Finn in the men’s room.

“Let me freshen up.”

I sidestep, but his strong hand grips my elbow and pulls me back into his hard body. I shiver when his lips nibble-kiss a path along my neckline. “Say you love me.”

“I love you.”

“Say you’re mine.”

“Forever.”

This seems to satisfy him, and he releases my elbow. “I’m yours, too, Presley, and I’ll love you for the rest of my life.”

My eyes start to prickle again. “You’re making it hard to leave this room.”

“Get ready, babe.” He smacks my ass, probing me forward. “The sooner we leave, the sooner we can come back.”

Butterflies swarm in my stomach as I fix my make-up and steal glances at Finn in the mirror. He watches me intently, never looking away.

“You’re staring,” I point out.

“It’s because you’re stunning.”

My breath hitches at the simple phrase. Weeks of heartache disappear because I know I have my Finn back.

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