Fire - Betrayal (32 page)

Nic smiled and looked down again.

“Ah, it’s time for me to go to physio.  Thanks for surprising me at the triathlon Cate – you made my day!“

“You’re very welcome Nic Walker – although, your last name does
not suit! “ I said smiling as I got into my car.

I
wound down the window, “Have fun at physio!” and then I slowly drove off.

* * *

Immediately upon entering my parent’s house, I ran upstairs and lay on my bed, my mind confused.

What was I doing?  Nic was awesome, but he was not Ben
.

Ben
……I choked back my tears, and whispered his name, wishing that he would suddenly appear and wrap his comforting arms around me.  But I knew that he wouldn’t.  I grabbed the photo of him and held it to my heart.  How will I ever let him go?  I drifted off into a disturbingly fractured sleep that seemed to have no end.

I
sat bolt upright by the shrill of my cell phone.  I picked it up, dazed, but did not recognize who the caller was.

“Hello,
Cate speaking.”

“
Cate, it’s me Nic.  I’ve finished physio, and I was wondering if you’d like to catch a movie with me tonight.  I’ve got a really busy training schedule this week, and I won’t be able to see you for a while – which could be a bad thing because you split with your last boyfriend because of that reason and I’m waffling aren’t I – yeek that can’t be good,” said Nic.

“No, waffling is good, and I’d l
ike to see a movie with you Nic.  What time, and where will I meet you?” I asked, confused about my feelings for him.

“Well, actually, I’m parked at the front of your house….”

I looked outside my window.  He was standing there looking up at me.

“Then come in Nic, and wait while I get ready.  You can talk to my parents.  I have to disappoint you though, they won’t be as forthcoming as your m
um was this afternoon,” I said as I walked out the front door and down to greet Nic at the front gate.

I
grabbed his hand and took him inside to introduce him to my parents, and then I left him alone with them while I quickly got changed.

Three sets of eyes focused on me as I came b
ouncing back into the room, smiling at Nic.

“M
um, Dad, we’re off to the movies.  I’ll see you later,” I said enthusiastically.

Inside the dark
movie theatre, I had trouble concentrating on the content of the movie with Nic sitting so closely to me.  I really wanted Nic to hold my hand, but then I did not.   I wanted to try to move forward with a relationship with him, but then I did not.   I was so confused about my mixed up emotions.

And then I
felt him entwine his fingers in mine. Guilt raced through my veins.

I’m sorry Ben, but I have to get on with my life…..

I liked Nic’s hand with mine. And it was okay to touch him, I told myself.

Even the
slow and quiet stroll in the fairy light lit park after the movie was nice. Nic held my hand the entire time, until we got into his car to drive home.

He
walked me to the front door of the house.  He kept his hands in his pockets.

“
Cate, I don’t think that I will be able to see you again until next Sunday night.  I have an intense training camp all week, and then a cycling race meet at the velodrome on Saturday and Sunday,“ Nic said with disappointment evident in his voice.

“Then I shall look forward to seeing you next Sunday night Nic,”
I said looking into his deep blue eyes.

He
looked away, and took in a sharp deep breath.  I was taken aback by the intensity of his feelings for me.  He had only known me for one day.  The cycling training camp would be good for him, as will the race meet on the weekend. I was worried that he was falling heavily for me.

“
I’d better get going Madame, “said Nic with his French accent, “I have to board a bus at 5:30 am.  I need to get some shut eye! Stay safe, and have a good week.”

“You too Nic,”
I whispered, smiling at him.

He
turned and walked down to his red car and opened his door. 

I ran after him.

“Nic, I forgot one thing,“ I said as I stopped directly in front of him, and then hesitated slightly before kissing him lightly on the lips.  Nic took a long time to open his eyes.

“You’ll have to forget one thing more often
Cate,” he said looking into my eyes.  I turned and walked back to the front door, and looked at him before I entered the house.

Then
I ran straight up to my room closed the door and lay on my bed and cried.

Not just a little bit, a lot.  My body heaving as I sobbed.

What have I done?

I heard a gentle
knock on my door before my mother entered.  She sat on the edge of my bed, feeling my pain.

“
Cate, did everything go okay with Nic tonight?” she asked gently.

“Yes m
um, that’s
why
I’m crying.  I like Nic, like, I
really
like Nic.  But I am crying because I still love Ben.  Is it possible to love two people at the same time mama?” I asked.

“I certainly believe so
Cate.  I don’t think that you will ever not love Ben. He was such a big part of your life.  But you have to allow yourself to love another, whoever that will be.  You have so much to give Cate.  Don’t waste it because you can’t be with Ben anymore.  Nic is a beautiful guy.  Your father and I like him already.  Just see where the relationship leads you Cate.  It may work out, it may not. You deserve to be deeply loved by someone, and you deserve to love another.  You need to choose happiness in your life Cate,” my mother said wisely and lovingly, looking at me with compassion.

I
slept very little that night, torn between my old world with Ben, and my new world with Nic.  It was very easy to say goodbye to Ben in my head, but actually following through with it was extremely hard, and I felt the aching pain in my heart again.  I had to work very hard on looking forward to a new love, and not looking back to the past deep and passionate love that I had shared with Ben.

I knew that my bond with Ben could never be broken.  If Nic wanted me, he would have to live with it.

Could I?

Burning the Midnight Oil

The rain beat down rhythmically on the window pane for an entire week, as I happily went off the work every day.  There, I could use my creative spirit and then daydream about Nic, who entered my thoughts often. I looked forward to Sunday night, when he said that he would call.

Saturday and Sunday,
I spent at my new house.  I kept my mind busy with planning the interior decorations, and interviewing painters and tilers, which then I promptly chose so that I could move into my house as soon as possible.

It was 10:30
pm Sunday night when my cell phone rang.  It was Nic.  Again he was calling from out on the street.

I
ran out to him immediately and flew into him, hugging him. He wrapped his arms around me, slowly, and I thought how stupid I was.  What if he had second thoughts about me?  What if I wasn’t the one for him after all?  Stupid, stupid, stupid!

I took a step back from him, embarrassed by my assertiveness.

“Cate, I’m taking you out to a midnight dinner.  You need to wear black.  I’ll go home and get changed and I’ll be back here in sixty minutes,” Then he slowly moved his face closer to mine and kissed me lightly on the lips.

I
kept my eyes closed as our lips parted ways.  He made me feel so good after I had felt so stupid.  I opened my eyes and looked seriously into his, and then raced inside to get ready.

In exactly sixty minutes,
I looked out of my window, and there he was, dressed in a black suit with a black shirt, casually leaning against his red car, waiting for me.

I
looked at myself in the mirror once more and then headed downstairs to meet Nic at his car.

I pulled the front door closed quietly behind me, and then turned to
Nic. His eyes followed me and I saw him catch his breath.  I wore a sleeveless black fitted dress that showed a little of my cleavage, but not too much.  The black dress finished just above my ankles, showing off my nicely shaped thin ankles and my high heeled shoes.  I felt very elegant.  I had straightened my curly hair, and walked with a huge smile, stopping in front of him.

“Mmm, delicious,” said Nic, with his hand resting on his heart. 
I smiled shyly at him and then dropped my eyes to the ground.

Nic hugged
me gently, and then opened the door for me.  He walked to the driver’s side door and got in.

“How was
cycling camp and the race meet Nic,“ I asked, not taking my eyes off him.

“Good.  If you were there though, it would have been much better!”
he replied smiling at me.

“And how was your week
Cate?“ he asked.

“It rained all week, which was good because I love the rain, but it did drag on, and, I had you stuck in my head all week – that was the nice part,”
I answered honestly, and then touched his arm lightly. I saw him take a deep breath.

The city streets were quiet at this time of the night.  The botanical Gardens were lit dimly with fairy lights in the trees, making a path that led to a restaurant name
d Burning the Midnight Oil.  We sat opposite each other in the crowded restaurant. The background music was light and romantic, and couples danced closely to each other on the small wooden dance floor.

After ordering
our meals, Nic stood and walked around the short distance of the table to me.

“Dance with me
Cate.” He held out his hand for me to take.  I hesitated at first, wondering if our relationship was travelling way too fast.  Then I wondered if I was rebounding from Ben, and that I was not being fair to Nic.  But then I told myself that there was no Ben anymore, and it was okay to fall in love with another guy.

I
took Nic’s hand and held it as he led me to the wooden dance floor.  Then he stopped and looked at me.  He placed his other hand around my waist and moved it lightly up to the centre of my back.  He held my gently, and closely to his body.  His closeness was driving me crazy.  But I could cope with it.

I
began to relax my body more, finally closing my eyes, feeling Nic’s body close to mine and his arm firmly around me, keeping me safe.  My heart began to beat faster at his presence.  I knew that I was falling in love with him.

Then
Nic gently led me to our table, where the food was served to us as soon as we sat down.  We ate in silence at first, locking eyes on each other.  Then Nic spoke.

“
Cate, you look beautiful tonight.  There are guys here that can’t keep their eyes off you, like me.”

“True beauty is not on the outside, but on the inside Nic,” was
my reply.

“You have both
Cate.  Remember when you were chosen to be my partner for statues on that Saturday night Cate, and you caught me closing my eyes before I stood up to be your partner for the challenge, and then you were profusely apologizing to me for being there?” he recalled.

“I remember it well Nic.  You looked angry at having to play that challenge with me!”
I added.

“That’s because I know that true beauty is on the inside, and I was highly attracted to your beauty on the outside. I was telling myself not to fall for you because of your attractiveness.  It was only when we were forced together as statues, that I discovered your beauty on the inside.  I told you, I am very particular with whom I choose to go out with,” Nic explained.

After we had finished our intimate dinner together, Nic held my hand and led me along the tree lined path.  We came to a pond that held the reflection of the moon in it.

Nic stopped to admire the mirror reflection of the bright full moon.  Occasionally, a duck would swim through it, creating gentle waves that continued along to the edge of the pond.

Then he turned to me, and looked deeply into my eyes.  I was eager for him to kiss me properly.

I
held Nic’s gaze.

He
brought his hand up to my face, and gently placed his finger under my chin, lifting my face up towards his.  Ever so slowly, our lips touched, and he kissed me lightly before pulling away briefly, and then brought his lips back to mine, to kiss me more firmly.  Our kiss was very delicious before Nic pulled away and held me closely.

But a
fter a while, I pushed Nic away from me slightly.  Nic looked at me, worry evident in his eyes. He was about to speak, when I slid my hands up around his neck, and brought my lips to his again.  I kissed him firmly and deeply, and then held on to him tightly.