Fireflies and Magnolias (29 page)

She shook her head. “I know. I was so scared you would all turn your backs on me if you knew. We’d only just started being a family again, and Mama…well, she didn’t want to be a part of the family we’d become, so I told myself it was okay. I know it’s not. Tammy, I can’t apologize enough, but I know no word is adequate to atone for what I’ve done.”

Her sister wiped her runny nose. “Oh, Amelia Ann…hearing you did that hurts me so badly, but I understand why you did it. I do.”

She could barely make out her sister through the waterfall of tears sluicing down her face. “You do?”

“I know enough about domestic abuse to know it’s a kind of addiction. I’m so ashamed of what I did. And if the tabloid helped bolster...my resolve…well, maybe it was a blessing in disguise.”

The pain of hearing her sister say those words was enough to bend her double. “Oh, Tammy, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. I love you so much.”

Her sister put her arms around her and laid her cheek on her back. “I forgive you. I do.”

The knock on the door went ignored. She couldn’t bear to be parted from her sister just now. When her phone rang, Tammy finally separated them and stroked her face.

“That will be Clayton.”

“I’ll go tell him we need a few more minutes.”

Her sister nodded, and she dashed to the door. Before she unlocked it, she swiped a hand over her face. Everything was wet. She’d probably have to redo her makeup.

He straightened when she opened the door and immediately crossed the threshold to touch her face, his hand gentle as it traced the course of her tears. “What happened? I was worried when you didn’t answer.”

She sniffled. “Tammy and I are just having a sister talk. Do you mind waiting a few more minutes?”

His eyes scanned her face. “Of course. Take all the time you need.”

“Thank you,” she whispered and shut the door, leaning her forehead on it.

The relief of having finally unburdened herself was immeasurable. She’d told Tammy. She’d said the words. And her sister had forgiven her. She’d actually forgiven her. More tears welled up, and she pushed herself off the door and walked back to the kitchen.

Tammy was blowing her nose, her face a mess too.

“I can’t believe you’ve found it in your heart to forgive me. I’ve been so ashamed.”

Tammy tried to smile. “I think there’s been enough shame in this family, don’t you? And now that I have my sister back,
nothing
is going to make me lose her again.”

“You’ll never lose me.” Tears ran down her face and plopped on the floor. “But Rye is going to hate me. He’s been so focused on punishing the person who made that call. Tammy, I’m scared of how he’ll react when he finds out.”

She passed her a tissue. “I know you are. I’ve never liked how single-minded the men were in their pursuit of the leak. I’ve asked them to let it go more than once. But Amelia Ann, you’ll have to tell Rye. And Daddy.”

“I know.” And the fear in her gut was as great at her grief over hurting Tammy.

“We’ll do it together. And Amelia Ann, you need to know they
will
forgive you. It’s not going to be easy, but it will be okay.”

She was turning into one big bawl bag, as Grandmamma Crenshaw used to say. “I guess I’m more like Mama than I thought.”

Her sister shook her head. “No, you were a scared young woman who didn’t know how to help the older sister you suspected was being abused by her husband. Who didn’t know if her niece and nephew were also being hurt. If I’d been in your shoes, I might have done the same thing.”

Her sister was being way more generous than she deserved. “Tammy, that wasn’t the only reason. I have to be truthful the whole way. I was
angry
that you stayed with him. That you could bring Rory and Annabelle home to that house every day knowing what Sterling was capable of doing to them.”

Her sister took a huge breath and then another. More tears fell. “You weren’t any angrier with me than I was with myself.”

They reached for each other. More tears fell. Sobs burst out in the quiet kitchen, and for a few minutes, they let go of all the old poison each had kept buried inside.

When they were spent, they slid to the floor and lay on their backs for a moment.

“This is what Louisa calls a healing crisis,” Tammy said at last.

The reverend had probably seen more than her fair share of those, Amelia Ann thought, wiping her nose. She reached for her sister’s hand.

“I’ll make it up to you, Tammy. Everything I’ve done. Every woman I help…reminds me of you. I feel like I’m finally helping you.”

Her sister cuddled close and sniffed loudly. “I know, sugar. I know.”

They cried some more, and when the floor became too uncomfortable, they rose to a sitting position.

“Well, we sure let out some old stuff, didn’t we?” Tammy said. She rose to grab the tissue box from the kitchen counter, and then sunk back down. “I feel years younger.”

Funny, even though her head buzzed and her body tingled from all the crying, Amelia Ann felt lighter too. “I’m so glad you came over tonight, Tammy.”

“Me too,” she said. “Now, Clayton has been waiting a real long time.”

She eyed the clock. It was nearing half past eight. “Yes, he has.”

“Do you love him?” her sister asked, wiping her face with a tissue.

“Yes.”

“I’m happy for you. He’s a good man.”

The last tissue floated out of the box when Amelia Ann pulled it out, so she had to switch to paper towels, which meant standing up. She extended a hand to her sister. Tammy took it and let herself be pulled up.

“I know Mama hurt you,” Tammy said. “She hurt all of us. But maybe now you’ll give her another chance like I have. She’s changed, Amelia Ann. Maybe not mother-of-the-year changed, but she’s working on herself. She’s even seeing a therapist now.”

A therapist? Good Lord. Mama had always said therapists were for weaklings. “I owe her an apology too,” she said in soft voice.

Tammy gave her a small smile. “That you’ll have to do on your own. You just tell me when you want to tell Rye and Daddy, and I’ll be there with you.”

Her face felt like tiny needles were racing across it. “What will you tell John Parker?” she asked since she knew there were no secrets between them.

“The truth. He’ll understand why you did it too…and he’ll still love you. We
all
will. That’s what family does. And that’s what we are now. A family.”

She had to brush more tears off her face at that. “A family. Yes. Thank God.”

“Yes, thank God. As Louisa would say, some things take a long time in coming, but when they finally arrive, all we need to do is enjoy them and be grateful. And honey, I’m grateful you’re my sister.”

They embraced fiercely, the hurt receding, the healing rising in them both. “I’m grateful you’re my sister too.”

“Okay, now we really must let Clayton in.”

“I look a fright,” Amelia Ann said and gave a gurgle of laughter. “You should have seen his face when I opened the door.”

Tammy gave an answering gurgle. “Oh, well, nobody said healing and forgiveness look pretty.”

“Right.”

“Here, let me at least wipe your mascara off. You have such beautiful skin, you’ll only need to add some powder and lipstick and you’ll be all set. Nothing to do about the eyes. They’re swollen, and you have salt on your lashes.”

No surprise there. “Thanks,” she said when her sister finished.

“You’re welcome. I love you, Amelia Ann.”

“I love you too.”

She nodded. “It’s going to be okay. Now, let’s go get your man.”

They headed to the front, and Tammy put on her jacket while Amelia Ann opened the door for Clayton. He was leaning against the wall, typing on his phone. He looked up and scanned her face again.

“Everything okay in there?” he asked.

“Yes,” she responded. “I’m sorry we kept you waiting.”

He pushed off the wall, and she almost sighed as she took in the sight of him. He was dressed in a gunmetal gray shirt and black dress pants and looked like a dream. She wanted to kiss him so badly, but it wasn’t the time for it.

“Please come in.”

From his assessing gaze, she could tell he was trying to figure out what had happened between her and Tammy. Well, he would just have to remain curious for the time being. She needed to tell her family the truth before she spoke to him about it. He would be upset, most likely, but her actions hadn’t hurt him directly. And after helping Jasinda escape her abusive husband and reading all those stories…well, he knew how difficult life was for battered women. He would understand how badly she’d wanted to stop Tammy from returning to Sterling with the kids.

“Good to see you, Tammy,” he said. After wiping his boots on the welcome mat by the door, he greeted her sister with a kiss on the cheek.

“You too, Clayton,” she said. “Now I don’t mean to dash off, but I’ve kept y’all from your evening long enough.”

“I’m so glad you stopped by,” Amelia Ann said, pulling her in for one last hug.

Tammy squeezed her hard. “Me too, honey. Me too. We’ll talk soon. Love you.”

“Love you too,” she said, and a new peace filled her heart.

Her dirty secret was out, and her sister hadn’t turned away from her. It was a miracle—one she hardly dared believe in.

Tammy snatched up her purse and gave Clayton a half-hug, then headed out the door. “Enjoy your evening.”

After the door closed, they both stood there looking at each other. Clayton jiggled some change in his pocket.

“You want to tell me what that was all about?” he asked.

“Sister stuff,” she said in an even tone. “I told her about my work at the clinic. It…brought up other things.”

His face fell, and he reached for her. “Come here, princess.”

The arms that held her felt like heaven. She’d never really had anyone to hold her like this before, like a man would the woman he cared about.

“Let me just go and touch up my face,” she said, releasing him.

He cleared his throat. “We don’t have to go out if you’re not up to it.”

When she ran a hand through her hair, she realized the bits by her face were wet from her tears. “No, I’d still like to if you don’t mind.” Part of her needed to get out. Breathe some fresh air. Let all of the strange feelings inside her settle.

“All right. Go do what you need to do. I’ll be here.”

As she walked to the stairs, she realized she liked that thought. She liked the idea of him being there for her, on her side. Like Tammy would be when she told Rye and Daddy.

It took her three minutes to clean up. As soon as she was ready, she dashed down the stairs. “Let me grab my coat.”

“You look beautiful,” he told her as she opened the closet and drew out a winter white number adorned with a gold belt.

“I like your hair up.”

Since her hair had been matted and wet in spots from crying, it had been her best option. She met his gaze and decided to switch gears. She’d done enough crying for the day.

“I’ve had fantasies all day of you taking it down for me.”

He swallowed thickly. “Talk like that will make us late for dinner.”

“I don’t mind,” she said softly.

His presence was a comfort and also a tantalizing tease. Now that he was here, all she could think about was running her hands down his body, savoring the feel of them coming together. Letting him take away the rest of the grief still lodged under her ribs.

“It was an intense day.”

“For me too,” he admitted, “but I asked you out, and a gentleman keeps his word. We can address your…fantasies later, princess, if you’re up for it.”

“I thought you said you weren’t a gentleman,” she said to be saucy.

“In some things, I am.” He strode over and helped her into her coat, then wrapped his arms around her, trapping her against him. “You always smell divine. Why magnolias?”

She leaned against him, savoring his hardness and heat. “They’re so beautiful, but they’re also strong. And then there’s the secret inside the flower.”

“What’s that?” he asked, his nose sliding up her nape, causing gooseflesh to break out.

“They have matches inside.”

He turned her around and gave her a puzzled look. “Matches?”

Her mouth twisted. “At least that’s what I thought when I was a kid. It was like this beautiful flower had the gift of fire inside it.”

“I don’t think I’ve rightly seen these matches you’re talking about.” His eyes were dancing as he said it.

“You have probably never looked inside a magnolia blossom.”

He chuckled. “You’re correct on that score, princess.”

“Trust me. They do have matches inside.”

Now she felt silly. She wouldn’t tell him the rest of it—how she’d felt like a magnolia blossom growing up. Delicate-looking from afar, but so much stronger than people thought. With a fire inside just waiting for the right spark to ignite it.

“I’ll have to look inside the next one I see,” he said, tracing her cheek.

“We can go investigate together the next time they’re blooming.”

She realized she was talking about the distant future, of them still being together in the spring, and she found herself wringing her hands.

“Your skin is as soft as a flower,” he murmured.

All her fears receded when he said things like that. “If Tammy were here, she’d ask you what kind of flower.”

“Good thing she isn’t. I suck at all that flower stuff.”

She angled her hand around his nape, wanting him to kiss her. His eyes darkened.

“No. If I touch you any more, we won’t be leaving, and I’m starved. Come on, princess.”

Stepping away, he walked to the door and opened it.

“So long as you’re coming back here later,” she said, not willing to move until he agreed.

“Wild horses couldn’t keep me away.”

Her heart expanded, and for once, she believed everything was going to turn out all right.

The restaurant Amelia Ann chose wasn’t super fancy, and he wondered if she’d gone with something more suited to his tastes than her own until the greeter welcomed her by name.

“Let me show y’all to your table,” the young woman said, and she gave Amelia Ann that look women gave each other when they approved of a friend’s date.