First Kiss: The Ghost Bird Series: #10 (The Academy Ghost Bird Series) (42 page)

Would I be able to survive the week without fainting in a shower? Maybe with the chaos and us coming out to these showers, I had a better chance getting away with it?

I stood in the stall, waiting, wondering if Lake was comfortable with me being here while she showered or was it just that I was better than having all the other girls around.

Secretly, I was grateful she had been too scared to join the others. Changing for school gym was always slightly uncomfortable, and I’d always used the stall. I hadn’t known what it would be like to be among other girls here at camp. Lake had thought maybe they walked around naked. Did girls do that? It made me uncomfortable thinking about it.

I forced away the questions and opened the stall door.

There was a shadow by the entryway, and I hesitated, thinking someone from the trailers was coming in.

I was relieved to see it was Kota leaning in, looking at me. He had dark circles under his eyes but was smiling. He had on his green jacket and wore jeans and sneakers. He was clean, so I wondered if he had been able to do any camp stuff at all or if he was in training all day. “Hey,” he said softly. “I don’t mean to barge in. Is it okay to come in?”

I shook my head, looking toward the shower area. “There’s...” I wasn’t sure how to explain. “Uh...”

“Who’s that?” Lake called from the shower.

“It’s Kota,” I called back to her. “I needed to talk to him. Is it okay if he’s in here?”

“I don’t care,” Lake said.

I turned to Kota, putting on a smile. “Hi,” I said.

He smiled back, coming closer, keeping his hands in his jean pockets. “Hi,” he said. “You okay?”

I nodded, but then spread out my arms, dropping my dirty clothes to the ground and then headed toward him. I needed this. Lake was in the shower; she wouldn’t see.

Kota opened his arms wide and let me hug him, hugging me tightly back, letting me inhale his strong scent of sweet spice.

“You were all over the place today,” he said. “I got twenty different messages about where you were.”

“It’s a long story,” I said. I broke away, looking up at his face. I was looking past the black-rimmed glasses and dark circles, into his green eyes.

After all the problems I’d had that day, his bright eyes and inner calm somehow gave me a second wave of energy to keep going.

I just wish I could have more time with him. “And sorry for the change up last minute.”

He waved his hand. “Don’t worry about it. I get it. This is Academy. There’s always something.”

I moved away from him to pick up my kit so I could wash my face. He leaned against the sink next to mine, opening his mouth to talk, but then stopped, watching as I added foam soap to a washcloth and spread it over my face and neck.

I stopped, looking at him. “Something wrong?”

His cheeks turned red and he shook his head quickly. “No,” he said. “Just feels like I haven’t seen...” He paused as he tilted his head. “I don’t think I’ve ever been in a bathroom with you while you do this.”

I raised an eyebrow. “It’s usually only Gabriel, I guess.”

“Yeah,” he said and continued to watch as I washed my face. “How’d it go with Mrs. Rose?”

“Fine,” I said. “Although I think that Dr. Roberts might have tricked me into being her translator for the week so I was obligated and couldn’t join the guys.”

“They have ways of making it feel like you’re doing them a favor, and the next thing you know, you’re neck-deep in a job,” he said with a small smile. “Whether it was intentional, we might not ever know, but I’m never surprised to learn something was part of a plan they’ve cooked up.”

I glanced toward the shower, but the water was still running, so I didn’t think Lake could hear us. “Does this mean I have to stay with their group?” I asked. “Are they going to ask me to join this girl team?”

“They might try to be clever to get you to join them or other teams they’d like you to be with. But you always choose your team.” He frowned. “It’s just...very hard to say no when they ask nicely or have good points why—they can make it sound like you’re needed. And you’re a nice person.”

It
was
hard to say no. I remembered how the girls had gotten a little clingy after our hike, and while I’d wanted desperately to hang out with the guys, I was compelled to stay with them. “How can I say no?”

“Nicely,” he said. “Although I recommend trying to get to know a wide variety of people. It might be easier if you mix up with different teams.”

“The group I’m in is a little reluctant to do that,” I said. I loaded a toothbrush with paste and started brushing, letting him go on.

“Carla’s stupid,” Lake said from the shower. The shower had turned off only a moment before, and I heard the sound of a towel being fluffed out echoing to us. “I don’t like her.”

I shared a look with Kota. Maybe our voices echoed in the bathroom. I tried to recall what we said, hoping Lake didn’t think I wouldn’t want to be on a team with her. She was nice, I just didn’t know her. And I already had a team.

“You don’t have to like her,” Kota said louder, his deep voice reverberating in the bathroom. “But you can’t call her stupid. Do you even know her?”

Lake peeked her head out around the corner. Her hair was wet, slicked back against her head. Without her makeup, she resembled a boy even more. She scoped out Kota and then looked at me. “How many guys are in your group?”

“Nine,” Kota said.

Lake disappeared again behind the wall. “Is that normal to have such a large group?”

“No,” Kota said. I continued to brush my teeth, glad that Kota was so open with Lake. Maybe it was because this is where we were supposed to learn about the Academy. “There’s varying sizes, but it’s harder for larger groups to get along. Usually with so many different personalities, groups average between three and five people.” He looked right at me now as he said the next part. “Unless...unless there’s a couple team.”

“What’s a couple team?” Lake asked, her voice echoing oddly from the shower.

“If a couple is dating in the group, they can decide to splinter off and be just the two of them.”

“You split from your old group?” Lake asked as she came around from the shower, hair still wet and wearing my T-shirt and pants. She’d tied the pants tightly at her waist and the T-shirt neck hung off one shoulder. She bent over, wrapping her hair up in a towel before standing up again. “I thought once you were in a group, you were in there for life.”

“Not always,” Kota said. He was looking at Lake, although there was no surprise in his eyes. North may have warned him. “You get older, and things change. Someone you got along with for years might change over time, and you lose your compatibility. That and if you’re on a team where the others are getting boyfriends or girlfriends. Then you want to get married and have a family, maybe. So eventually, you might not even be able to join in on Academy jobs as much.”

“Is that why there’s so few old farts?” Lake asked.

I nearly choked on my toothbrush. I spat into the sink and looked at her in the mirror. “Lake...”

“Sorry,” Lake said and put a palm over her mouth, her eyes wide. “That’s my dad talking.”

Kota smiled and shook his head. “You’re not wrong. At some point, you’ve made a family and you might not have time between a job and kids to go wander off in the night. So sometimes you...I don’t want to say retire because sometimes you’re still asked to join a council or step in on a quick task...”

“I get it,” Lake said. “That’s why there’s so many young people.” She came up to my arm and poked me. “Do you have a brush?”

I was scooping water into my mouth to rinse and spit again. I stood up, wiping my mouth with my towel and waved my toothbrush, eyebrows up in question.

“Uh...oh yeah, I don’t have one of those, either,” she said. “I meant a hair brush. You’d think after dragging us out here, they’d give us at least a basic bathroom kit.”

“She’s got an extra,” Kota said. I looked at him, confused. He nodded toward my kit. “You should have two of everything.”

I checked and he was right. There was a brand-new travel-sized toothbrush in the bag, along with a smaller brush, and a few other supplies. “Why?” I asked as I pulled the extras out, passing them to Lake.

“Rule of two,” Kota said, winking at me.

I finished up, brushing my hair and clipping it up away from my face. Lake started brushing her teeth.

I really needed to talk to Kota alone. Was that even possible right now? I looked at him, unsure how to make it happen. 

He looked right at me, nodded once and spoke. “Lake, do you mind if I take Sang with me? I wanted to show her the way to the cabins. North’s waiting outside. He’ll give you a ride back to the campsite.”

“Can I hang out with them until she gets back?” Lake asked with a mouth full of paste. “I don’t want to get cornered by Carla.”

“Sure,” Kota said, smiling. “They’ll let you hang out. But if someone is bugging you, you really should tell her to try to work things out. When you keep your feelings inside, you stop yourself from getting to know the other side.”

Lake nodded as she continued brushing his teeth.

Kota looked at me and nodded toward the door. “Ready?”

I slipped my feet back into my boots, collected my dirty clothes and bathroom kit into my towel like a bag, and draped it over my shoulder. “Ready.”

I waved to Lake, who seemed fine being left on her own. I hoped North would be nice to her. I guess it said something that Lake would rather stay and face North than go back to Carla.

When we left the bathroom, North was leaning against his Jeep, talking to someone in the darkness. In the dim light coming from the bathroom, I could see he was talking to a middle-aged guy with graying, wet hair. I assumed he’d been the one in the men’s side shower. He waved at the two of us before returning his attention to North and the story he was telling.

He seemed friendly, but North was quiet, simply nodding his head. I wondered if he’d gotten roped into chatting with a super-friendly Academy person.

Kota gently took my towel with my supplies and passed it quietly to North who took it but continued to nod toward the chatty camper.

Kota led the way down a path and I followed beside him, waiting to speak. He used his flashlight to guide our way.

TAKING A WALK

T
he path wound toward a set of trees beside a small eating area with two picnic tables, a small fire pit, and a steel garbage can lit by a streetlight overhead. The grass was a little high around our ankles, but the space was clean.

Kota led me to the tables and sat on top of one, his feet on the seat. I climbed up beside him, scanning the area, noticing the ashes inside the fire pit, and the black trash bag that fluttered a little in the breeze.

For the first time all day, I let out a long breath. I was finally alone...with Kota, but away from all the new people.

I absently combed my fingers through a loose lock of hair, suddenly nervous. I’d wanted to talk to him all day, and I had so much to tell him, yet nothing wanted to come across my lips. My brain was tired. My body was a little sore.

I leaned into him, at first without thinking, and then pressed my cheek to his shoulder. “We leave tomorrow, right?”

He chuckled, put an arm around me and held tight, dipping his head to kiss the top of my forehead. “Do you not like camping?”

“It’s fun,” I said. “But...I don’t like...I feel...” I struggled to explain. “I felt like I was sort of on stage all day today.”

“You’re in front of new people who are looking to you for help,” Kota said. “I was wondering if this job was right for you. I’m glad you’re helping out, but I know you’re shy and how hard it is. From what I’ve heard, you seemed to do an amazing job, though.”

I smoothed my cheek against his shoulder. “I hate to admit it, but I’m with Lake; I wish Carla hadn’t insisted we have to stay in the girl tent.”

“Might be better in the end,” he said. “Give it a try.” He kissed my forehead again and then shifted to rest his cheek against the top of my head. “You’ll be able to say you gave it a royal effort. And who knows... maybe...”

“I’m not switching teams,” I said. “I don’t want to.”

“It wouldn’t have to be for forever,” he said.

“Today felt like forever,” I said. “It’s not even over yet.”

He pulled back to look down at me and I sat up a little. He kept his hand on my back, smoothing over my spine. “Was it really that bad?”

How could I tell him? They weren’t bad, but they weren’t for me. It was more than just missing the boys. Throughout the day, I had grown more uncomfortable being around the girls who seemed to be looking up to me. While I was sorry to disappoint them, I was also terrified of them. The hug that was supposed to be normal, had made me panic. Even thinking of being in the bathroom around them was making my insides tremble.

Lake had been the exception and the only explanation I really had was that she was really a boy. Why did that make a difference? Kota watching me wash up hadn’t bugged me at all nor had being in there with Lake. Shouldn’t it be the other way around? Weren’t girls supposed to be more comfortable with girls?

Kota massaged my spine but remained quiet as I shifted through my thoughts. His lips dipped slightly into a frown. “Sweetheart, if we need to take you back...I mean I can go if you...”

“No,” I said, sucking in a breath. I shook my head. I was going back home with them no matter what. That was what mattered. “It’s nothing,” I said. “It’s a few days. I just wish I could spend more time with you all—with the guys. I know some of you are teaching classes and I’m helping out so we’re busy. I guess I thought I’d see more of you.”

“You’ll see us more this week,” he said. “Things start to relax after the first couple of days when new groups learn the ropes more and start to check out other teams. A few more days and we’ll be packing up before you know it.”

“I’ll live,” I said. “Been through worse.” The words slipped out, and it wasn’t until I’d said it out loud that I realized how terribly dark the joke was. I sensed how I was complaining about things and really shouldn’t be. I should be grateful to be there at all.