Flare (5 page)

“Kevin, you’ve got to stop that freaking-out face, okay? You’ll get wrinkles.” Hugo joined Kevin on the same couch and placed a warm hand on Kevin’s forearm. “You
had
to ask that, and I wasn’t joking when I said I’d do anything to prove it. Do whatever you need to ease your own mind. Talk to Finn and his therapist about it and find a specialist in these cases. Actually,” he said with determination, “until you do that, I’m going to go stay at my place. I think that would be smart.”

“What? Why?” Kevin asked in disbelief. “What makes you think I want you to leave?”

“Nothing, but the last thing I want you to wonder about is if I’m possibly doing something to Finn while you’re not here. I don’t want you thinking I’m trying to influence the kids either, getting them to lie like Tasha is. You already have enough doubt swirling through your mind. I can at least remove
some
of that. I’ll be back as soon as you’re ready for me to be here again.”

“I’m ready
now
,” Kevin argued.

“Kevin, listen to me.” His voice was calm as he stroked his palm back and forth over Kevin’s forearm. “I know you trust me, but I’m not going to do anything to get in the way of your kids living with you. If that means I need to not be here for a few days or a week until things get resolved, I’m more than glad to do it.” Hugo tightened his fingers around Kevin’s arm. “I refuse to jeopardize what you and Erin and I fought to create for these kids. Their security is the most important thing. I don’t want to make things worse for your family.”

“Hugh, stop!” Kevin grabbed Hugo’s hand and held it in his own. “Don’t do this. Don’t go. I want you here, and you know the kids do too,” he said louder than he intended. “Besides, what message would that give to Erin’s parents, you running off the second they threaten to take custody of the kids? Not to mention what it would say to the kids. What would I even tell them tomorrow? How would I explain that you just up and left?”

Hugo looked ashamed and said, “I guess I wasn’t really thinking this all the way through.”

“I’d say so,” Kevin said, reaching to pull Hugo close so he could kiss him, even if he was frustrated and didn’t understand him. “Don’t leave, please. We need you. I’m not going to let these closed-minded people pull us apart. I can’t let that happen. There’s already been too much loss in this family in the last few months.”

Hugo nodded, smiling in a worried way as he focused in on Kevin’s eyes. “Okay. I’ll stay, but if you need me out of here at any time, just tell me. I’ll go.”

“Deal,” Kevin said, knowing he’d never ask Hugo to leave. “Now let’s try to get some sleep.”

When they got into bed, Kevin turned on his side toward Hugo and punched his pillow, attempting to get out his frustration and find a sleep-able position in one go. Hugo started laughing in an uncontrolled manner.

“What’s so funny?” Kevin asked.

“Uhm,” he said as if trying to get a few more seconds. “I was a bit of a drama queen downstairs. I forgot this is the week I’m heading out to Los Angeles. And the nanny is coming too.”

“That’s right. We’ve had too much shit thrown on our plates. I was thinking that wasn’t until next week. So much has happened in the last few days.”

“I know. So my melodramatic exit scene is actually going to happen, in a way, but with work.”

“I’d much rather you be leaving for work than running away from here because of Tasha and Kyle’s accusations,” Kevin shared, leaning closer to kiss Hugo.

“Mmm. Me too.”

Kevin continued to fight to find that comfortable place in bed, but it didn’t work until Hugo reached out and started slipping his fingers through Kevin’s hair. There was no way he’d be able to handle any of this without Hugo’s support, and he knew it. There wouldn’t be any running from this problem. They were going to have to fight it head-on, conflict avoidance be damned. Even if the mere thought of it nauseated him.

CHAPTER FOUR

Are We Making This Worse?

T
HE
NANNY
was an entirely new experience for Kevin and the kids. Finn had never been in a childcare setting at all. Well, there had been babysitters for short-term care and daycare for several weeks when Brooke was an oblivious infant before Erin decided to be a stay-at-home mom.

Hugo was going to work on an animated movie where he’d been hired as the voice of a main character. Most of July and August were booked with smaller jobs too, so even his typically flexible schedule had become rock-solid, including the week and a half in Los Angeles right after school got out. With Hugo’s busy summer schedule, Kevin had had to consider various options. Taking time off was nearly impossible with all the days he’d taken in the previous six months to care for Erin and the kids, and working from home wasn’t easy while parenting. The only other semi-viable option they had considered had been Summer, but she had summer school to teach in July. Childcare centers and home daycares rarely took a child as old as Brooke, and they weren’t about to allow her to be home alone for over nine hours a day while Kevin worked. They could’ve signed the kids up for camps and numerous classes, but when that was discussed, neither kid seemed interested in doing anything more than they already were. They wanted to play with the neighborhood kids, veg at home, and do things with Hugo and Kevin. So they had to look at other options.

When Kevin had first brought up hiring a nanny, Hugo was very reluctant. “Why a nanny?” he’d asked. “I think we’ve been doing a damn good job. Seems a bit ostentatious too.”

“You’ve met Emily. She’s Tori’s nanny.”

“Emily? I thought Emily was Tori’s mom.”

“No. Tori’s mom is Nicole.”

“Oh.” Hugo had pondered the new information. “I thought they were partners. I had no idea. So, Emily and Nicole aren’t together?”

“Nope. Nicole is married to John.”

“Are there more?” Hugo had asked, realizing he didn’t know how many of the kids’ friends actually had nannies. And a lot of families were dual earners. It was either hire a nanny or pay for childcare until kids got to be too old. The other option was that one parent stayed home, they worked from home or part-time, or they somehow took different shifts and never saw each other. Granted, Edina was filled with a lot of stay-at-home moms and dads too.

“I’m not used to the whole nanny thing, so I didn’t even think that some of these women I see around Edina were nannies,” Hugo had told Kevin. “I’m used to the attachment-parenting mamas in Uptown who carry their babies in wraps on their fronts or packs on their backs and are so hands-on they probably never even hire a sitter for a date night.” Hugo gave Kevin a crooked grin and looked embarrassed.

With how chaotic the previous year had been, it wasn’t surprising Hugo had missed a few details in relation to how the kids’ friends lived, especially considering his focus had always been on Brooke and Finn, not the gossip among the suburban parents.

It had taken some time, but eventually Kevin got Hugo to see that it was a good decision to hire a responsible adult with childcare experience who could assist with meals and be available for the kids during the day while Hugo and Kevin were busy with their jobs. Consistency was the one thing they had tried to maintain with the kids over the previous year, and this was just another way Kevin saw to help with that. They both eventually talked to Nicole and John about their experience with Emily as well as finding out how to go about hiring someone.

The funny thing was, Hugo had been initially reluctant, but the day their nanny was to arrive, Kevin was now second-guessing his choice. It was going to be fine, he reminded himself as he popped the cap on his shampoo and started washing his hair. He was only nervous because this was a new experience. That was all.

As Kevin rinsed the shampoo from his hair and listened to Hugo brushing his teeth just beyond the fogged-over glass shower door, he couldn’t keep from worrying about who he’d hired. He’d offered the job to the nanny after interviewing her on Skype, following up on her references, and talking to the agency. Yet, when it came down to it, he was basically hiring a stranger to watch his kids for the summer. That didn’t sit too well with him.

That was probably why he ended up hiring a woman in her early thirties rather than the younger applicants. Red hair hadn’t been something he’d considered consciously when looking at the various applications posted on the highly recommended nanny placement site, but in the end, Hugo pointed out that over 50 percent of the options Kevin chose were redheads. Kevin tried to brush it off as a coincidence, but when he ended up hiring a woman named Rowan, Erin’s middle name, he could no longer deny the similarities. He wasn’t trying to bring Erin back to life, but even Kevin started to worry about his decision. What would the kids think when they met her?

He was also hiring someone from another country, and he worried about cultural differences, even if the other country was England and they spoke the same language. Sort of.

While Kevin was finishing drying off, the doorbell rang. He’d had a car service pick Rowan up at the airport to bring her to the house. He felt like shit about it now, but considering the early hour she arrived, the fact there was never any clue how quickly she’d get through customs, and the craziness of their schedules that day, it was necessary, especially after their middle-of-the-night therapy session post-nightmare with Finn, which had happened for the third night in a row.

“I’ll get it,” Hugo said, dashing down the stairs after leaning into the shower to steal a kiss.

The kids were still asleep, so Kevin allowed Hugo to greet Rowan while he got dressed in his favorite pinstriped, navy-blue suit. He had a presentation to give at the University of Minnesota that day and wanted to look sharp. If all he could manage was the clothes and a decent PowerPoint, which he’d prepared weeks ago, then that would need to be good enough. Snugging his tie around his neck and folding down the collar, Kevin looked at himself in the mirror. His blond hair was starting to curl around his ears, he noticed, and he considered making an appointment to get it cut. Then again, Hugo had been urging him to grow his hair out again, as he’d had it in high school, slipping past his collar in blond waves. That wasn’t going to happen. Kevin shook his random thoughts away and determined to get his head on straight. The lack of sleep was getting to him, and he had a new employee to meet.

“Rowan,” Kevin said as he headed down the stairs and saw the smiling face he recognized from Skype. Her hair was short, cut in a boyish style that framed her face so she looked ironically more feminine than she had looked in her photo and on Skype where her hair had been shoulder-length. It was darker than he thought it had been as well, more auburn than red. “It’s so good to see you. How was your flight?”

“Lovely, actually. Thanks,” she said in her beautiful British accent. “I’m a bit tired, but that’s to be expected.”

“I’m glad you made it. Customs must not have been too difficult to get through if you’re here already. Take the morning to get settled in and take a nap if you need to,” Kevin encouraged and then turned to Hugo. “When do you leave for LA?”

“Six thirty… something. I’ll need to leave here around four thirtyish.”

Kevin nodded and pulled him to his side. Rowan knew she was going to be nannying for two men in a relationship and had told them she had no concerns about that, so Kevin wasn’t about to start holding back on the open affection he was used to giving Hugo. “Get some rest. I’ve got to head into work, but Hugo will show you your room and introduce you to the kids. I’ll be home before he heads to the airport. How does that sound?” Kevin asked.

“That sounds wonderful, actually. I thought you’d be wanting me working straight away, but a nap would be perfect,” Rowan said with sleepy green eyes.

“Good. I’ve got to go. Sorry to run off so quickly, but I’ll see you this afternoon and evening where we’ll have time to get to know each other.” Kevin kissed Hugo and whispered, “Thanks for helping her get settled,” before he left. Hugo had been a huge part in hiring Rowan, and Kevin knew Hugo would do a better job showing her around the house, neighborhood, and even introducing her to the kids. Kevin was decent in social situations that required some sort of formality, but not so much with the homey, make-people-feel-welcome-and-at-home types of things Hugo was. That’s why they’d talked about how this would go ahead of time and also why Kevin was relieved to be heading toward the office.

A
S
SOON
as Kevin sat down at his desk, he called Finn’s therapist. Her office was always closed on Mondays, and he’d somehow managed to not go crazy yesterday. She apparently started early on Tuesdays because she picked up her phone immediately.

“Lori, it’s Kevin Magnus, Finn’s dad.”

“Good morning, Kevin. How can I help you?” Her voice was pleasant. He understood why Finn and Brooke felt comfortable talking to her.

Kevin proceeded to give her a shortened version of the events that had happened in the last several days as well as what occurred in Fargo in May. He knew he was rambling, but she listened patiently.

“Hmm,” Lori said noncommittally.

“I’m wondering how to manage this. I’m worried about Finn. He’s been wetting the bed and having nightmares again. He’s scared he’s going to be forced to move away from home, and considering what we’ve just learned about this doll situation, I can’t exactly start making promises to him. I have faith Hugo didn’t ever do anything inappropriate, but to have a therapist’s statement would be helpful, just in case something happens.”

“Did the Clarkes file a report with Child Protection? Have you been contacted by someone from that office?”

“No. I was only served papers dealing with custody.”

“That’s interesting,” Lori said, but Kevin had a hard time reading the thoughts behind her limited words. Typical therapist. “How long ago did Finn see his grandparents?”

“Two, three weeks.”

“I see Finn today at two. I’ll talk to him and see if I can try to make heads or tails of what happened from his perspective as well as his worries. I’ll see how he’s holding up psychologically. Right now he really needs consistency, so I urge you and Hugo to do the best you can by keeping his life stable.”