Flawfully Wedded Wives (15 page)

“I'm so sorry, Sullivan,” replied Kina, sobbing. “I've been a terrible friend.”

“Yeah, you have.” Sullivan cracked a smile. “But I've been a terrible wife, so I guess we're even.”

“Neither of you are a terrible anything,” said Angel. “Don't even joke about that. The Bible says you shall have whatever you say.”

Kina wiped her eyes. “Can we try to be friends again, Sully? I love you, and I miss our friendship. I really want to put this behind us.”

“We can try,” conceded Sullivan. “Baby steps, though. You can start by refilling my drink.”

“Baby step your way to the kitchen to fill mine up too,” added Reginell.

Kina laughed. “Sure. I'll check on dinner while I'm at it.” Kina collected the empty glasses and headed toward the kitchen.

Angel got up to pat Sullivan on the back. “I'm very proud of you, Sully. You let Kina say what she needed to say without going off the deep end.”

Sullivan reclined on the lounge chair. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll smile and play nice this weekend, but I still don't trust Kina as far as I can throw her.”

—
Angel King

 

“It's about time you decided to join us,” Lawson said to Reginell, who dragged herself to join them for breakfast by the pool the next morning. “You were supposed to join us on the jetty for a sunrise prayer session.”

Reginell yawned and sat down next to Kina. “I guess the thought of waking up at six to watch the sun come up didn't satisfy me like the thought of spending a few extra hours in the big, comfortable bed.”

“It's too bad you missed it,” said Kina, slicing her French toast. “It was beautiful. The weather was just perfect. It was warm, with a nice balmy breeze coming through.”

Reginell reached for the pitcher of orange juice in the center of the table. “I'm sure Lawson will tell me all about it.”

Lawson set her fork down. “What's going on with you, Reggie?”

“What do you mean?”

“The smoking, the drinking—”

“You were drinking last night too,” protested Reggie.

“I had one drink! You practically downed a whole bottle by yourself. Lately, you've been hanging out more. You've all but abandoned the Diamond Butterfly Ministry you started to help other young women caught in the sex industry. Namon says you're not around as much when he goes to see his dad. Is everything all right between you and Mark?”

“Dang, Lawson, can I live? Everything is fine with Mark. This is just who I am. I like to drink. I like to party. Every now and then, I might blaze one with my girls. What's so wrong with that?”

“It just doesn't seem like the kind of thing a Christian should do.”

“Well, I guess I'm not as saved as you.” Reginell grabbed a plate and looked over at Angel's meager breakfast of pineapples and sautéed plantains. “Is that all you're eating?”

“You should try some of this French toast,” Kina suggested to Angel. “It's delicious.”

“I can't. Just looking at it is making me queasy.”

Sullivan piled some slices on Angel's plate. “The health police can't fine you way down here. It's okay to live a little and eat something that's not grown organically.”

Angel pushed the plate away. “No, seriously,
I can't.
”

“Are you all right?” asked Lawson, concerned. “You were kind of withdrawn and quiet all night. You even kept to yourself the whole time we were at the beach this morning.”

Angel poured some juice. “I guess there's no point in keeping it a secret. You all are going to find out eventually.”

Reginell reeled back. “What? You and Jordan tying the knot?”

“I wish it was that simple.” Angel took a deep breath. “I went to see my doctor yesterday. He found something in my stomach that wasn't supposed to be there.”

“Oh, God, is it a tumor?” asked Kina in a hushed tone.

“No, it's a baby. I'm pregnant.”

“Shut the front door!” exclaimed Sullivan, spewing her food. “Are you serious?”

Angel nodded.

“But are you
positive
you're pregnant?” Lawson asked, grilling her.

“Lawson, I'm a nurse. I know the signs, and I've been pregnant before. Plus, my doctor confirmed it before we left to come here. I'm about four weeks along.”

“Wow . . . I'm speechless,” said Kina.

“Me too. I didn't even think you and ole boy were getting it on!” admitted Reginell.

“Obviously, they weren't getting
everything
on, or she wouldn't be in this situation,” mumbled Sullivan.

“It was one time,” claimed Angel. “All right, twice, but I never expected this to happen. Reggie, I guess you're not the only one whose sins have found you out. Y'all,
I'm pregnant!
”

“Well, I suppose we ought to congratulate you before we start humiliating you. I know it wasn't planned, but I know how long you've wanted a child of your own.”

Angel shook her head. “Not like this, though.”

“Does it really matter how the child was conceived?” asked Sullivan. “I mean, this is the baby you've wanted since your miscarriage ten years ago.”

“Yeah, but Jordan and I aren't ready to be parents. We're barely even speaking these days.”

“Thankfully, God is giving you almost a year to get ready. You'll be fine by the time the baby gets here.”

“Were you and Garrett?” Angel shot back. “I'm sorry, Lawson. That was mean. I'm hormonal, okay?”

“Clearly!” said Lawson, perturbed. “Does Jordan know?”

Angel shook her head. “I literally just got it confirmed right before I met you all at the airport.”

“Wow . . . Do you think he's going to be cool with it?” asked Sullivan.

“Like he has a choice!” exclaimed Lawson. “Regardless of what happens with their relationship, he has to help her with that baby.”

Sullivan brought her glass to her lips. “That's almost funny coming from you, seeing as how you'd like nothing more than for Garrett to check out of Simon's life.”

“I never said I didn't want Garrett to help with Simon. I said I didn't want him to help himself to Simone.”

“I have no idea how Jordan's going to react.” Angel paused. “How messed up is it that I don't even know this guy well enough to know how he'd react to us having a baby?”

Lawson wrapped her arms around Angel. “No matter what happens, you know we'll all pitch in and support you.”

“You're not in this by yourself. You know that!” said Sullivan.

“I barely had the time to spend the weekend down here. How am I going to be able to make time and space in my life for a whole other person?”

“The same way we all did,” replied Kina. “You figure it out as you go.”

“You will be an awesome mom. I know if I can do it, you can.”

“I know. I just don't know if I'm ready to be a mother.”

Reginell nodded. “I know how you feel.”

Lawson flung her hand over her chest. “What? You too?”

“No . . .
geesh!
I meant about having to change my life and become a wife. Y'all make married life look so boring. I don't know if I'm ready to stop having fun.”

Sullivan reached for another slice of turkey bacon. “Marriage is as fun or as boring as you make it.”

Kina turned to Angel. “Do you think you and Jordan will get married?”

Angel shook her head. “I can't even think about marriage right now. The more I get to know him, the less I want to be in a relationship with him.”

“But you have this baby to consider now. Are you prepared to raise him or her as a single parent?”

“I don't know!” shouted Angel. “Now, enough with the questions! I don't know what I'm going to do about any of it, all right? All I know is I'm pregnant, out of wedlock. I don't know how I'm going to take care of a kid when I barely have enough money to take care of myself. I don't know what's going to happen between Jordan and me, and I don't know what I was thinking when I lay down with him and conceived this child. Now, I know you all have a ton of questions and opinions. I love you for that, but I can't handle it right now. That's why I waited so long to tell you all I was pregnant. I need time to process it without your voices drowning out my own.”

Kina apologized for all of them. “We're sorry, Angel. None of us want to make you feel any more pressure than you're already feeling.”

“Thank you.”

“But you are keeping the baby, though, right?” Kina asked.

Angel withdrew from the table. “Depends on how you define the word
keep.
”

Kina's mouth dropped. “Angel, you don't mean—”

“That's enough. I'm tired.” Angel pushed her chair into the table. “No more questions.”

After no one had seen or heard from Angel in more than an hour, Sullivan tiptoed to Angel's bedroom and knocked on the door. She poked her head inside. “Can I come in?”

Angel wiped her eyes and turned over in bed. “Sure, come in.”

Sullivan sat down on the bed next to Angel. “Aww . . . Are these tears?”

Angel sniffed. “I don't know if I'm depressed or hormonal.”

“So there's really a little baby growing inside of there?” squealed Sullivan, pointing at Angel's stomach.

“Yeah, I guess so,” said Angel, passing her hand over her belly. “Who would've thunk it, right?”

Sullivan laughed a little. “I've been where you are. You know I'm here for you if you need to vent, scream, cry, whatever.”

Angel gave her a weak smile. “Thank you.”

“We're going to town to do some shopping. You feeling up to it?”

“I think I'm going to just hang out here, maybe walk down to the beach later. It's not like I can really afford to go shopping anyway.”

“While we're on the subject, do you know what the best part of having a best friend who's a fashion maven is?”

“Enlighten me please.”

“Hand-me-down maternity clothes that are some of the most fabulous and chic maternity clothes Savannah has ever seen! Since I can't get any use out of them—not for a while, at least—you might as well.”

Angel's eyes were downcast. “That's really generous of you, Sully. Thanks.”

“You don't look too happy for a girl who just got promised a brand-new wardrobe. Honestly, Angel, most of the stuff I have is cuter than all that Bohemian crap you wear on a daily basis.”

“It's not that. I appreciate the gesture, especially since it's so rare that you do anything for anyone else that's not self-serving in some way. I'm just . . . I don't know . . . confused about this baby, I guess.”

“I don't know why. You'll be a fantastic mother,” Sullivan assured her. “And if I was able to raise a kid without DFCS being called to the premises once a week, surely you can.”

Angel laughed. “Amen to that!” She turned serious again. “I'm not questioning my mothering skills, just questioning whether or not I want to be a mother.”

“Really?”

Angel sat up in bed. “Sully, can I be candid with you? Don't get me wrong. I love Kina and Lawson, but . . .”

“Sometimes they make it hard to be real without feeling like you're going to hell for having a thought that's not in the Bible,” Sullivan said, filling in the blank.

Angel nodded.

“You know you can, and I won't judge you. That's the best thing about having a best friend who's a screwup. I'm in no position to condemn you!”

Angel leaned in closer to Sullivan and spoke in almost a whisper. “I know children are supposed to be a blessing, but, Sully, this couldn't have happened at a worse time. My business is suffering, I'm working two jobs, and my relationship with Jordan is in disarray.”

Sullivan patted her hand. “I understand. I was scared to death when I found out I was pregnant.”

“That was different. You were afraid because you didn't know who the father was, but you knew you wanted your baby. I can't say for sure that I want mine.”

“I wanted her, true enough, but I still had my doubts, and not just about Charity's paternity, either. As much as I love that little girl, there are times when I miss my old pre-Mommy life. I miss being able to take romantic weekends with my husband and being able to go shopping on a whim. But I wouldn't trade Charity for anything in this world. I know that I was born to be her mother.”

Angel hugged the pillow close to her body. “Do you ever think about the babies you aborted?”

“Every day,” admitted Sullivan. “But I did what I felt was right at the time.”

“Yeah, but you were a kid when you got pregnant. I'm a grown woman. I should know better. I'm a nurse, for Christ's sake! If anyone ought to know how not to get pregnant, it's me!”

“Angel, let's be genuine for a minute. How many people are there in the world who were actually planned for? I'm sure there are far more ‘surprises' than not.”

“I know, but you kept Charity knowing that it could cost you your marriage, your lifestyle, and everything else if Charles found out that the baby could be Vaughn's. It feels like I have no right to feel this way about my child when women in far worse circumstances keep their babies.”

“Honey, don't compare yourself to me. My situation is totally different from yours. You have a right to feel whatever it is that you're feeling. I have a husband and money and an excellent support system and access to resources that you don't have.”