Flowing with the Go (18 page)

I now have an answer to Susan's question: Is it good for my soul? Jiu-Jitsu gave me back my soul.

On June 17th, 2011, I was promoted to a blue belt in Jiu-Jitsu.

I got my blue belt! (photo by Mike Baltierra).

Glossary of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Common Terminology

Armbar
—An armbar is a type of submission that results in hyperextending an opponent's arm. There are many ways to obtain an armbar, but the finish is similar:

1. Your elbow is controlled.

2. Your hips are tight against your opponent's armpit.

3. Your opponent's wrist is kept vertical with the thumb pointed upward.

4. Your opponent's arm is squeezed between your knees.

5. As your opponent's arm is extended, your hips are thrust forward, putting pressure on their elbow joint.

Frame
—Framing is when you use arms, legs, knees, or hands to create and maintain space between you and your opponent. Framing is not pushing; it is creating a barrier.

Gi
—A lightweight, two-piece, usually white garment worn by barefooted martial-arts participants, consisting of loose-fitting pants and a wraparound jacket with cloth belt.

Guard
—There are three main types of guard: closed guard, open guard, and half guard.

1. For the closed guard, your legs are used to control your opponent's torso by wrapping your legs around your opponent's waist and locking your ankles. This position allows for control from side to side, frontward, and backward, breaking your opponent's posture.

2. In open guard, the legs are used to control your opponent but are not closed around the opponent. This guard is more dynamic and involves using the feet to push, pull, and hook the opponent.

3. In the half guard, your opponent is halfway through passing your guard, and you have only one of your opponent's legs controlled. Although it may seem that this position provides less control, it is very useful to disrupt your opponent's center of gravity and set him up to be attacked or swept.

Hook
—Hooks are when you use a foot or leg, or both, to control an opponent

Knee-on-belly
—This move involves placing your knee or shin on an opponent's abdomen with the same foot off of the mat; your other leg is bent in a lunging position by your opponent's head, but out of reach of his arm. Your grips are usually on one of your opponent's sleeves and his pants, and your opponent is bearing most of your weight. Knee-on-belly is often used to secure an opponent before transitioning.

Lineup
—The lineup is the starting and ending stance taken by all training participants, done from right to left with members of the highest rank on the right. A variation is to have multiple rows from front to back with the highest-ranking members in the front. The lineup precedes the act of bowing to your instructor.

Mount
—A classic dominant position, the mount is where you sit on top of your opponent, who is bearing most of your weight. Your feet are alongside his or her hips or tucked under his or her thighs. High mount is when your weight is mostly on your opponent's chest and your knees are in his armpits, making use of the arms difficult. Low mount is where your weight is mostly on his or her abdomen. Regardless of high or low, being on the bottom makes you very vulnerable to attacks, and it is difficult to breathe.

Passing Guard
—Passing guard is the dissolution of your opponent's guard, resulting in getting completely around both of his legs and attaining positional control.

Posting
—When you post, you use an arm or leg to maintain balance while attacking or defending.

Roll
—This is BJJ vernacular for going to the mat and grappling with another person. Common usage: “Hey, wanna roll?”

Shrimp
—To shrimp, or elbow escape, is a key movement in many escapes from the bottom and is used to make space. It must be combined with other elements to become an escape. The move is done from your side by raising your hips off of the mat, using your shoulder as the fulcrum, and thrusting the hips backwards. This brings your head closer to your feet, and if you froze the moment, you would look like a curled shrimp, head to tail.

Side Control
—Side control is a secure way to hold your opponent and control his upper body. From the side, it looks like pinning him to the mat, using your bodyweight and grips. With good technique, you can rest for a moment here before transitioning to another position.

Submit
—When you submit, you yield to the power or authority of another.

Submission
—This is any technique used to cause someone to submit, or to tap. Chokes, armbars, leg locks, and triangles are common submission moves. In sport or competition Jiu-Jitsu, a submission results in a match win.

Sweep
—A sweep is a swift and steady motion that results in your opponent ending up on his back from your guard.

Takedown
—A takedown is a move or series of moves used to bring an opponent to the mat from a standing position. Many takedowns resemble Judo throws and include leg trips, arm drags, and controlling the head.

Tap
—To tap, or tap out, is when a participant submits to his opponent. This is done by tapping your opponent on the closest body part or the mat with your hand or foot. If no appendage or mat is accessible, the submitee can call out “tap.”

Triangle
—Triangle is a submission technique that places your opponent's head between the thigh of one of your legs and the back of knee of your other leg. This is considered a “blood choke” because it restricts the blood flow to your opponent's brain, as opposed to cutting off his ability to breath.

Turtle
—This position involves curling yourself up into a ball, hiding your elbows inside your knees, and protecting your neck—a defensive position that you generally do not want to find yourself in, but it is better than being pinned to the mat.

References

Inspirational quotations are identified throughout the novel. For those that are attributed to anonymous, all efforts were made to verify a source.

Saulo Ribeiro and Kevin Howell.
Jiu-Jitsu University.
Auberry, CA: Victory Bely Publishing, 2008.

Hickney, Matthew.
Walking to the Cage.
2009.
www.imdb.com/name/[email protected]
.

Rollmates and Soulmates

Foster Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu

Dr. Lisa Chavez
Good Natured Medicine

Kathleen O'Connor, LMHC
Grief and Life Transitions

Dr. Steve Zografos
Kent Sport and Spine

Joanne Kovaly, PMA-CPT, LMP, MMLT

Louise Anderson, LMP
Ashiatsu Massage

And, of course, the website address for The Carly Stowell Foundation:
www.Carlystowellfoundation.org

In Retrospect and Thanks

Putting my journey through grief on paper was truly an exercise in self-rediscovery. The writing process, at first, was like staring into a reflecting pool and seeing all of the surrounding features, but never seeing me. It took time, patience, and great effort before I began to see myself in the pool. There were periods of hypnotic rippling and soothing calm. My writing reflected my journey right back at me. It made me look and finally see myself amongst the familiar features that never strayed from my frame of view. The honesty of the reflection told me that my life and my family would never be the same and that I would never be the same, but that I still fit into the world I saw in the pool.

Lifesavers, All Flavors

I have many familiar faces to thank for staying in my frame of view and for keeping me in theirs:

Chuck
for his endearing looks of wonder and amazement and reminders to jog, not sprint, through life;

For my sons,
Eason and Carson
, who miss their sister and had to miss me for a while, thanks for waiting;

My parents,
Bruce and Rita
, and my brothers
Mark and Alan (and
their families)
, for walking this walk with me since the beginning;

The
Clans O'Brien and the Seattle and Portland Clans
;

Susan
, who asked the right question;

Doc C
who first taught me about courage;

Christine, Kelly, Carrie, Selena, Dianna, Lorri, Jen, and Mary,
my gal pals who drove me places, planted flowers in my yard, and pried me off the floor;

Cody, KTB, Kendall, Jaclyn, Kylie, Morganne, Chanel, Jill, “P,”

Tyler, Cynthiann, Ashlyn, Riley,
Carly's friends who never let me forget that they remember;

Carly's music guides,
Dee and Doug
;

Carly's coaches who guided her toward her basketball dream,
Scott,
Kaas, Phil, Mike,
and especially
Mo Hines
, who taught her to train with purpose and play with passion;

And our special family friends, many of whom share their time, love, and knowledge through the Carly Stowell Foundation:
Dave and
Diane, Quentin, Debbie and Alan, Lorri and Rick, Ron and
Eileen, Jim, Joyce, Jenny and Brent, Laurie, Loreli, EZ, and
Second Wind.