Follow You Down (16 page)

With tears running from my eyes, I answer, “I say okay.”

She said okay. That means this is real. She’s mine. I’m hers, and we’re each other’s. It also means I’m a raging prick because two nights ago I fucked a girl who wasn’t Dani, a girl who has lied to me and tried to tear me apart. And I know that if Dani ever finds out about it, she will never forgive me. So I don’t tell her. Instead, I carry her to her room and bury myself deep inside her, trying to forget the shitty things I’ve done, and pray they don’t come back to bite me in the ass.

Sometimes things are too perfect. Everything seems to be going right and, if you’re a guy like me, you anticipate the bullshit. You know that it is coming. The last few months had been like that. Everything was pretty much perfect.

Wynee and Justin had finally gotten their own apartment, and I knew Justin was getting close to finally proposing to her.

Molly and Logan were living together and happy. My brother was the happiest I have ever seen him. Molly’s best friend, Ryan, had come back to town. He had been in the Army and was finally home for good, safe and sound. He was a nice guy and was living with Molly and Logan.

Dani and I, well, we were fucking fantastic. We spent every night together and never got tired of it. She had started taking a few college classes and was loving it.

Thing were good. Too good. And then, it all came crashing down around all of us.

“Lucas, your phone is ringing.” Dani keeps nudging me and, eventually, I hear the sound, too. I glance at the clock. Fuck, it’s almost four a.m.; who the hell is calling me right now? I stumble out of bed, looking for my phone, and finally find it in my pants pocket.

I don’t even look at the caller ID. “This better be good.”

“Luc?”

“Justin, why the fuck are you calling me so early?”

“Luc, Brian showed up at Ricky’s. Molly shot him. He’s—” I can tell he is trying to fight back tears. “He’s dead. We’re headed to the hospital now.”

“Logan?”

“He’s okay physically, but he’s pretty fucked up. I think he’s blaming himself for all of it. He’s gonna need you, man.”

He’s not even finished talking before I begin throwing on clothes and motion for Dani to do the same. She looks at me worried, but jumps out of bed and starts digging through drawers.

“I’m on my way.” I hang up the phone and feel like I might just fucking collapse. After everything Logan has been through, he doesn’t need to deal with this shit, too.

“What’s going on?”

“Molly’s ex-boyfriend showed up. She killed him.”

Tears instantly rush to Dani’s eyes. I don’t think either of us know what to do right now. Know what to expect from all this. It’s too much information to try to take in right now. We also both know that Molly is so fragile anyway; this could destroy her.

We head downstairs and get in my truck. I’m pulling out of the parking lot before Dani even shuts the door completely.

When we get to the hospital, I rush to find Logan. I know Justin said physically he is okay, but I need to see it with my own eyes.

I find him in the waiting room with Wynee, Justin, and Ryan. He has his head buried in his hands and he’s hunched over. He’s covered in blood and I don’t know if it’s Molly’s or Brian’s.

He looks up when I open the door. When he sees me, he instantly steps toward me, hugging me as he breaks down in tears.

He collapses to the floor and I go right along with him. Suddenly, we’re eight and eleven again and I’m holding him while he cries because he can hear our dad hitting our mom. And for the first time since I was eleven, I cry too.

Hours later, Logan is stationed by Molly’s bed, refusing to leave her side. Wynee and Justin went home because Molly asked them to go check on her daughter, Lyric. She asks me and Dani to go home too, but we don’t. We’re sitting in the hallway beside her door. The doctors say Molly will be fine physically. She has some bruises and a few cracked ribs, but all those injuries will heal. The emotional damage though, may never go away.

“Lucas, why don’t we go home and get some rest. Molly’s fine.” Dani rests her head on my shoulder and runs her nails up and down my arm.

I shake my head. “I’m not worried about Molly.” I look up at her and her eyebrows are knitted together. “I’m worried about Logan. She’s going to push him away, Dani. I can see it. I know it’s going to happen, and I can’t do anything to stop it. He’s going to get hurt again.”

“You don’t know that, Lucas.” She tries to smile at me reassuringly.

“Yes, I do! I can see it all over her face. She is blaming herself and she is going to emotionally check out because she thinks it will be what is best for him.”

“And exactly how do you know this?”

“‘Cause that’s what my mom did.” I have never really talked about all the shit my dad did, but right now, I think I need to tell Dani so she understands that I know how this works.

“My dad left because my mom shot him. She didn’t kill him, just shattered his kneecap. It was clearly self-defense. When the cops showed up, we were both covered in bruises and bleeding.”

“What? What happened?” She looks confused and I don’t blame her. Dani met my mom the day we officially started dating. Mom made her cookies and cheesy chicken spaghetti and listened intently as Dani told her life story. I know it’s hard for Dani to believe because Dolly Wade is the sweetest woman anyone will ever meet, but one night, she finally had enough.

“Logan and I were supposed to be staying at friends’ houses. Around midnight though, I decided to walk home. Something was wrong; I could just feel it. When I walked into my house it was dark, but I could hear her screaming in her room. I ran upstairs to help her.” I shake my head, wishing I could erase the image that is embedded in my brain. “He had her pinned on their bed and was just hitting her over and over. She kept telling him she was sorry, but I don’t know why. I ran to my room, grabbed my baseball bat and came back in swinging. I got a few good licks in before he wrestled it away from me. He stood over me holding the bat, and started taking body shots at me. I knew he was going to kill me.” I take my vision away from the blank spot on the wall I’ve been staring and lock eyes with Dani. “You know the only thing I was scared of? Who would raise Logan? That’s it. He needed me, and I was terrified of what he would go through without me.” I remember that night like it was yesterday. He kept hitting me with the bat along my torso and legs over and over. No matter how loud I screamed, he never stopped.

“You said your mom shot him though?”

“She did. She said her mother’s instinct finally kicked in and she knew she had to do something once and for all. She grabbed the pistol my dad kept in his sock drawer and fired. She hit him in the knee, shattering it. A neighbor heard the shot and called the cops. When they showed up, he was bleeding on their bedroom floor, and my mom and me were locked in the bathroom. She was still holding the gun. We both had to go to the hospital and I was there for a few days. She filed for divorce and got Jack to sign over his rights to Logan and me, and he never came back.”

“Does Logan know?

I shake my head and wring my hands. “No. And he never will. He was only eight so he doesn’t remember too much. Somewhere along the lines he got convinced that Jack just never came home one day. When Mom and I were in the hospital, he stayed with friends for a few days. It was summer so he never thought twice about it.”

“You said that your mom checked out though. What did you mean?”

“She went into a depression after she shot Jack. She finally realized how much damage she had done to Logan and me by staying with him for so long. She just, checked out for a while. She didn’t cook dinners or get us ready for school. Logan would try to talk to her, love on her like a little boy should with his mother, and she would push him away. She said she had hurt us enough already and she was convinced we would be better off without her. It was a really hard few months. I ended up being the parent, and no kid should have to go through that.”

“She’s okay now though, right?”

“Yeah. Yeah, she is. She eventually got counseling and that helped a lot. She also takes an anti-depressant every day, which helps, too. She still carries around some of the guilt, I know she does, but she’s let most of it go. When she finally got her shit together again, she worked hard to make up for all the damage that had been done. I still had to help raise Logan though. He needed some kind of father figure in his life, so I took on that role.”

“Lucas?”

I look down the hall and see my mom walking toward us. She has tears streaming down her face.

I know this has to be hard for her, seeing Molly go through something so similar to her situation. I know it has to hurt like hell.

I jump up and hug her small frame to mine while she cries. Then, Dani does something that surprises me; she stands up and holds my hand while I comfort my mom. It’s such a small gesture, but it means so much to me. It’s her way of saying she’s here and she’s not going anywhere. I haven’t had security like that in, well, ever, and it feels so much nicer than I ever thought it would.

After my mom, Dani, and I visit with Molly and Logan for a while, we all three leave. Dani says that if I’m right about what Molly is going to do to Logan, sitting here won’t change anything. I need to make sure I have my shit together so I can pick him up when he falls apart.

She still seems to believe there is a chance I’m wrong, but I know I’m not. I can look at Molly and tell. There is something missing behind her eyes when she looks at Logan now. She used to have this spark every time she saw him, and now they’re just empty.

We get back to Dani’s apartment and I immediately head for the shower. I feel like shit and I know I look that way, too.

I rest my head on the shower wall and let the water run over me, trying to collect my thoughts.

I’m so deep in my own mental hell that I don’t even hear Dani step into the shower; I just feel her soft hands against me. She runs them up my back, standing on the tips of her toes to continue her path over my shoulders, then down my stomach.

Her touch calms my demons. Dani Hartley subsides the rage that has been living in me for as long as I can remember.

I spin around to face her, taking her beautiful face in my hands, and placing my mouth over hers. She knows what I need. She always does, and she is going to give it to me.

I run my hands all over her wet body, pinching her nipples in between my fingers and reveling in the way her body contorts with pleasure. I love her tits, but right now, I need something more. Something only her sweet core can give me. I spin her around quickly and she instinctively places her hands on the tile wall. I drop down and bite her ass, knowing it drives her crazy, and am rewarded with a scream from the mouth I love so much.

She is so wet already that I can smell her, and even though I want to taste her, I need my dick inside her so much more.

I drive into her hard, without warning, and she forces herself back against me in the perfect rhythm. I fuck her, hard, forceful, taking what I want from her, taking everything she willing gives up to me. When her sweet pussy muscles tighten around my rock hard dick, I lose all control, squeezing her hips and thrusting into her as hard as I can and as deep as I can get. She screams out my name, and that sound brings me to the edge, then drives me over. I come deep inside her, draining myself of all the stress and worry built up inside me.

Afterwards, we clean each other in silence. She pays close attention to my shoulders and arms, trying to work out the knots of tension that I know are built up there.

This beautiful little woman, my firecracker, my salvation, my Red, has saved me in ways she will never know. I love her. Without a fucking doubt, I know I love her, but I don’t know how to say it. That four-letter word that is printed on so many Valentine’s Day cards and so often thrown around like it means nothing, doesn’t seem like enough to convey to her what I feel. But I have to try. I have to try to get her to understand what she means to me.

I run my fingers through her wet hair, causing her face to look up at mine. “Dani, I—I—”