Following Love (19 page)

“Dena,” Louise began, “you have to expect more than that. Love comes into our lives in so many different ways, through family and friends and the precious jewels in a child's eyes. But love between a man and a woman is not to be brushed off like crumbs on a dinner table. It's precious. You deserve precious.

“Heaven knows I've had men pass through my life. Some I've loved and some I've loved to distraction. Each time I value myself to expect more. I deserved it. You need to value yourself and know that you're worthy to be loved and much, much more.”

Dena nodded her understanding. “We didn't end well, so can we please change the subject? Tell me all about the fair,” Dena said, avoiding the current topic.

Seeing her pain Ellen and Louise changed the subject and began telling her the highlights of the county fair. Soon laughter and joy returned as they described Dillon's reaction to the baby chicks and how he chased them around in an attempt to catch one.

A half hour later, when the conversation lapsed, Dena stood. “Thanks again for taking Dillon with you, he's going to be talking about his trip for the next two weeks. I'd better go and take care of his overnight bag.” She picked up the construction worker backpack and headed up the back stairs.

Ellen looked at Louise then shook her head. “Pity, all that for nothing,” she said miserably.

“No, not necessarily,” Louise said, smiling. “I've seen this before, many times, my son, my grandsons, even his in-laws. Love can be tricky, you just have to give it a chance to grow. And just like the seedlings we plant, they need encouragement and just a bit of fertilizer.” Louise winked.

“Okay, now you lost me. Fertilizer?” Ellen said, then paused and smiled. “Wait a minute, I get it. I need to get Julian back over here, don't I?”

Louise nodded. “But first give them a little time, some breathing room. Maybe they can get it together without us.”

Ellen nodded her agreement. “How would you like a little company this weekend?” she asked.

“I'd love it, sounds perfect.”

F
irst thing Monday morning Dena turned the corner and ran right into Julian. She'd been looking for him, she just didn't expect to be run over by him. “Hey,” she said.

“Hey,” he responded, then stepped aside.

“Uh, I'd like to speak with you if you have a few minutes,” she said before he walked away.

“Business?” he asked.

“Not exactly,” she said.

“I'm on my way out. Can it wait?”

She nodded. “Sure, I'll see you when you get back.”

Julian didn't get back to the office for another three days. Off-site, he arrived early and left detailed business messages then came in late after she'd already gone. It was obvious he was avoiding her, which was fine because she wasn't sure what to say to him other than, “I'm sorry I misjudged you.” So, they danced around each other for the next few days.

Finally, Dena stewed for as long as she could take it. It had been almost five days since they'd actually spoken to each other. Meanwhile she heard through the ever-present office grapevine that he and his brothers had thrown a massive party at their beach house over the weekend. As expected, photos circulated on cell phones all week. She even saw a couple herself.

Nothing radical or outrageous, it seemed to be a simple house party at a very nice beach house. That of course made her feel better. She even talked to Jordan about it when she ran into him in the hall. He cordially invited her down for the weekend and asked her to feel free to bring Dillon, as well, since he'd heard so much about him from Julian and a few other men working at her aunt's house.

That's when he told her that Julian had missed most of the party, first by working and then by hanging out on their boat. She wasn't sure why he divulged the information but she was glad he did.

By Friday afternoon Dena zombie-walked through the rest of the day. Then as soon as five o'clock came she got ready to leave for the day. Totally unlike her, she usually stayed until at least six or six-thirty. But tonight, with her aunt leaving to visit friends, she needed to put as much distance between her and Hamilton Development Corporation as possible.

She'd obviously made a fool of herself. Tainted by her own insecurities and anxieties, she'd immediately chosen to see Stephanie's side of an issue that wasn't even her business. She'd accused Julian then turned her back and walked out when he'd wanted to talk. Could she be any more insane?

He was obviously not the man Forester was, but still she clumped him right there.

Thankfully Julian was out of the office most of the week and the one time he stopped by to meet with his brothers in the evening she was off-site. But today, nearly a week later, she knew he was in his office. Tired of avoidance she decided to bite the bullet and just talk to him.

Saying she was sorry was the only thing she could think to say. She'd messed up big-time. When Stephanie stood there and told her about her son and Julian seemed not to care, she'd been stunned but she should have known better. Not every man is deceitful and not every mother maternal.

Dena knocked on Julian's open office door and waited. He looked up from an unrolled blueprint and removed his glasses. He looked so sexy sitting there, her first instinct was to vault over his desk and jump on top of him. But she didn't move. They just stared at each other a moment then he dropped his pen on the desk and stood.

“May I come in?” she asked.

“Come,” he said, walking over to the door and closing it as soon as she entered.

“What is it, Dena?” he asked, walking back to his desk.

“I came to talk,” she said.

“About?” He sat, picked up and rerolled the blueprint he'd been scanning.

“About us.”

“I believe we did that already,” he said, then pocketed his glasses.

“Okay, fair enough. Then I want to talk about what happened, what I said, what I thought.”

“What's done is done. You had your say. I got that.”

“No, you didn't. I was wrong. I know that now and I'm sorry. When I overheard the last of your conversation with Stephanie I was shocked and hurt. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. All I could think about was what I'm going through just to get recognition for my son. I underestimated you and that was a mistake.”

“Yes, you did.”

She nodded agreeably. “I haven't known you long, obviously, but I do know you could never be the man she described.” He nodded. “And I just wanted to let you know that and that I'm sorry for even thinking you could be.” She stood waiting for his acceptance. It didn't come.

“What's your game, Dena?”

“What do you mean? I don't understand.”

“Yes, you do. First you're hot then you're cold. Then you want me then you don't. What exactly do you want?”

“I just want to say that I was wrong. I'm sorry.”

“No, not good enough,” he said stiffly.

Dena frowned and braced herself, she had expected him to accept her apology then move on, but he obviously wasn't going to. “Okay, I understand.” She nodded and shrugged, then turned on her heels and headed to the closed door. She stopped. “I guess you were right from the start. This was a bad idea. But it was nice while it lasted.” As soon as she reached for the doorknob, Julian spoke up.

“Dena, wait,” he said, moving closer.

She sighed and half chuckled. “So much for my classy exit.” She smirked jokingly.

He stood right behind her. “I would never intentionally hurt you, or Dillon, I hope you know that.”

“I do and I'm sorry. And yes, I know that an apology won't fix this.” She turned to face him. “I overreacted and said horrible things, making a bad situation worse. I didn't mean to hurt you,” she said.

“Didn't you?” he asked.

She went silent, looking away, feeling the pain in his eyes. “So where do we go from here?”

“To tell you the truth, I don't know.”

Dena nodded sadly then backed up, turned and walked out. Moments later she grabbed her purse from her office and left for the day.

It was already after five-thirty and she had planned to spend the evening with Dillon. Ellen had gone to visit her friend, Mamma Lou, and after his weekend at the fair and her putting in extra hours at work she was looking forward to spending time with Dillon and having their traditional cookie night.

After a celebratory dinner of fish sticks, fries, coleslaw and ketchup, Dena and Dillon made cookies and sat in front of the television watching one of his favorite movies. Later they went into the yard to build the first fire in the new pit.

Surrounded by an almost-completed patio, the construction of the granite barbecue grill and outdoor stove was complete. An arbor-covered area had been built to accommodate seating for ten. The crew was still working on the large stone walkway leading around back, then to the greenhouse and the landscaping surrounding the outdoor living area.

Unfinished as it was, it was still beautifully done. The material used blended in perfectly with the surroundings. It looked as if a living and dining room had been picked up and placed outside.

Dena and Dillon gathered and piled several logs and smaller saplings into the pit, then stood back as the fire ignited. The open flame blazed, leaping and dancing against the dark evening. Dillon, after roasting and eating two marshmallows, was fascinated as he sat comfortably cuddled together on Dena's lap, his eyes glued to the wondrous blaze.

They sat and talked and sang and whispered secrets and looked up at the stars. She told him stories about growing up with the grandparents he'd never meet. “So they went away like my dad went away, right?” he asked.

“Yes, they did.”

“And they're not coming back, right?”

“Yes, that's right, they're not coming back.”

“And I won't never see them, right?”

“Yes, that's right.”

“So can I have a puppy then, right?”

“No, you may not have a puppy. Nice try, buddy.”

“Aw, Mom, I saw a puppy at the fair and he had a hat on and he could dance and he was funny and I want one of those for my birfday.”

“No puppies until you're old enough to take care of them.”

“When I'm four, right?”

“Try when you're fourteen.”

Dillon scrunched his face to pout then crossed his arms in front of his chest. “No fair.”

Dena smiled. “Okay, when you're thirteen then.”

“Yea,” he said, then yawned slowly.

“Dillon, do you remember when we talked about moving away right after your birthday party?” He nodded. “Good, is that still okay with you?” she asked. He nodded again. “Good, California is beautiful. They have warm weather, and Disney-land, and mountains and lots and lots of beaches with tons of sand.” He nodded again.

“Can we go to California now?”

Dena smiled, thankful and encouraged that he so eagerly wanted to go. “Not just yet, but right after your birthday party we're going to pack up our things and go, okay.”

He nodded. “'Kay.” Then moments later, he yawned and lay back, tucked against her shoulder. A few moments after that he drifted off to sleep. Not wanting the moment to end, she continued to sit out and enjoy the dimming fire and the warm summer night, holding him tight.

She relaxed back in the chair and listened to the crickets, watched the fireflies and gazed up at the stars. It was a perfect evening and a perfect night. The only thing missing was someone to share it with. She looked down at Dillon in her arms. Her little boy was her joy but having someone around, someone like Julian, would be…

“Dena.”

Her heart jumped as she turned quickly, recognizing Julian's voice and seeing him standing behind her in the darkness. It seemed as if she'd conjured him from her thoughts. “Julian?”

“Yes, it's me,” he said, stepping closer.

“Hi,” she whispered.

“Hi,” he said as he moved closer to her. “I went to your office after we talked, you left early today.”

“Yes I did. I had…”

“Cookie night, I remember,” he said. “How was it?”

“Good, we came, we saw, we ate too many oatmeal raisin with nuts.”

“Um, sounds good and looks like it knocked the little fellow out.”

Dena looked down at Dillon still comfortably asleep in her arms. “He had fun,” she said then paused. “I didn't know you were coming here tonight.”

“Neither did I,” he answered. “Your aunt left an urgent message at my house that there was something wrong with the fire pit.”

“Aunt Ellen isn't here.”

He walked over, seeing the last embers crackling in the bottom. He knelt down and looked it over carefully. “Looks okay to me.”

Dena instantly recognized Mamma Lou and her aunt's interference. “Actually, I think it's probably fine now.”

“Still, I'd like to check it to make sure.”

“Seriously, I wouldn't worry about it,” she said.

“If there's a problem I'd rather I take care of it than your aunt, I've seen her workmanship. Quite frankly, it scares me.”

Dena smiled at his humor. “Ordinarily I'd agree but I think my aunt and her friend Mamma Lou were doing a bit of matchmaking by getting you over here tonight.”

“Matchmaking,” he repeated.

“They took Dillon to the fair last week in hopes that I use the opportunity to go out and…” She paused, searching for the right word.

“And you did, we did,” he said, nodding and finishing her sentence. “But what about tonight?”

“I told them that things didn't exactly end well with us. So this might be their way of planting seeds to rectify matters.”

“I see,” Julian said. “Where is Mrs. Peyton? I rang the front doorbell and no one answered. That's when I came back here.”

“Aunt Ellen is in Virginia visiting a friend on Crescent Island. She'll be back next week. She must have called you before she left, knowing that you'd come over tonight.”

Julian smiled. “So she's taken up matchmaking instead of house remodeling, I guess the trade-off is worth it.”

“Speak for yourself. I don't like being manipulated.”

“She just wants the best for you.”

“And she seems to think the best is you.”

“Is that so bad?” he asked as he walked over and sat in the seat beside her. He looked down, seeing Dillon asleep in her arms. He smiled. “He looks so peaceful lying there.”

Still not responding to his last question, Dena leaned in and kissed his forehead. “Yes, he does.”

“So how did he enjoy the fair?” he asked.

“He had a great time. It's already on our schedule for next year.”