Fooling Around (18 page)

Julie took a strange, raspy breath and glanced away from him. “I guess we should get to bed. It’s late.”

“Yeah.”

It took all of his control to hold himself back, to restrain himself from reaching out for her or offering a different possibility. Whatever else had happened between them, she was still his employee. He just couldn’t go around making moves on her. Even knowing this, it took everything he had to rein himself in.

He managed, though. He wasn’t a slave to his desires. It was torturous to have Julie helping him into the wheelchair, moving over him to position the crutches, handing him a pair of pajama pants to change into in the bathroom—filling his senses with her scent, her touch, the soft sway of her hair, the lushness of her body beneath her clothes.

“Are you okay?” she asked when he stood for a moment, propped up on the crutches, fighting the instinct to kiss her.

“Yes.” His voice was embarrassingly thick. “Thanks.”

He closed the door so he could use the bathroom, brush his teeth, and change his clothes. Julie was still waiting outside the door.

“Why don’t you use those to go to the bed?” she suggested, nodding at the crutches. “You need to get more practice.”

Eric hated using them. Nothing made him feel more clumsy and undignified. But he figured it was better to get her out of his room as quickly as possible, before his restraint was gone, and arguing would just delay things.

He made it to the bed, and she took the crutches from him, propping them up on the nightstand as he hauled his casted leg onto the mattress.

“Do you need anything else?” she asked, looking down at him.

He needed her. Desperately. Especially tonight.

“I’m fine.”

“Okay. Good night.”

For a moment she hesitated, her lips parting like she was going to say something else.

If she suggested staying, then there was no way Eric could turn her down. But it had to come from her. She had to be the one who initiated it.

But maybe, maybe, she was feeling the same way he was—needy, hungry, desperate to be closer than they were.

She bit her lip and turned away, murmuring another “good night” as she hurried out of the room.

Eric sighed and slumped down on his pillow.

It was probably better this way. Smarter, anyway. If he had another taste of Julie, he might never be able to let her go.

And there was still a month and a half left of their contract.

Twenty minutes later, there was a light tap on his bedroom door.

Eric hadn’t gone to sleep. He hadn’t turned on the television. He hadn’t even managed to turn off the light. He’d just been lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about Julie.

He jerked his head up in surprise at the unexpected sound. “Yes?”

The door opened and Julie walked in. His breath hitched as he saw she was wearing a black sleeveless nightgown that skimmed her figure deliciously.

She closed the door carefully and then walked toward the bed. Her hair was hanging over her face a little as she grew still.

“What is it?” he asked. His heart was racing wildly, and he was terrified that she wasn’t here for the reasons he was hoping.

“I…I didn’t want to spend the night without you,” she said, taking a thick breath, as if she’d surprised herself by what she’d said.

Eric’s chest almost exploded in relief and intense need. “Oh, thank God.”

She took another little breath. “Then can I—”

“Come here. Come here to me.”

He wasn’t sure who was more eager as she crawled into the bed with him. He was pulling her down onto him urgently, trying to position her soft body on top of him in a way that wouldn’t hurt his leg.

And she was kissing him, moving her lips all over his face until she finally settled on his mouth. He couldn’t go slow, couldn’t keep the kiss light and gentle. Overwhelmed by a need he’d never experienced before, he devoured her mouth, using his hands to stroke all the parts of her body he could reach.

Her hair was falling down over both of them, and her skin was soft and warm. And his body was already throbbing for her, his erection now trapped beneath her weight.

As they kissed, he slid his hands down until he could cup the curve of her ass. He moved his fingers even lower so he could grip the delicious flesh just beneath, right at the cleft.

She murmured against his lips, as if she liked the feeling.

His head spun and his heart raced and the world was all hot and throbbing around him. This was what he wanted. Everything he wanted. Julie soft and pliant and eager and passionate in his arms, against his body.

He wanted to say something—to express this truth somehow—but he couldn’t make his voice work, except to moan with pleasure against her mouth.

Instinctively, he started to roll over so he could move on top of her, take her the way he wanted, make her scream in pleasure.

But he grunted in pain as his leg moved the wrong way.

“What are you doing?” she asked breathlessly.

“Damn it,” he muttered, falling back onto his back and relaxing his leg. “I wanted to be on top.”

She giggled and pressed little kisses against his mouth. “Not yet, I’m afraid. You’ll have to lie on your back like a good boy.”

“I’ve never been a good boy.”

Her laughter warmed as she stroked his bare chest. “That I know.”

She was smiling at him warmly, affection and heat spilling from her expression, as she started to kiss her way down his neck toward his chest. Her hand moved even lower, following the line of hair that trailed down beneath his waistband.

When the waistband got in the way, she simply pulled it down.

Eric gasped as his erection was suddenly free in the cool air of the room, and then gasped again as she took him in her hands.

“Are you planning to take advantage of my incapacitated state by torturing me?” he asked huskily, shifting his hips as the pleasure of her touch intensified.

“Something like that.”

Her expression grew intense as she lowered her head and delicately licked a line up and down the length of his shaft.

He grunted helplessly as the excitement in his body deepened.

Despite his eagerness, he wanted to make sure she was really enjoying this. So he said, “You don’t have to—”

“I want to. I want to do this for you. Will you let me?”

He almost choked on desire and amusement. “You think I’m going to say no?”

She was smiling again as she used her tongue to tease him a little, twirling around the head and then running a line along the underside. He was barely holding onto his control when she suddenly slid her lips down, taking him in her mouth.

He groaned at the intensity of the feelings, keeping his head up so he could watch. And he kept groaning helplessly as she established a rhythm, wondering if anything in the whole world had ever felt quite so good.

When the sensations and emotions threatened to overwhelm him, he moved a hand to the back of her head, curving it around so he could guide her and feel more in control of what was happening to him.

To his surprise, she stopped and slid her mouth up.

“What?” he rasped.

“You can’t even do this without trying to control it,” she said, that same fondness still in her face, despite her words. She wrapped her fingers around his wrist and pulled his hand from behind her head.

“I can’t help it,” he admitted. “You’re driving me out of my mind with that.”

“Well, try to help it. I’m doing this.”

He groaned again as she took him once again in her mouth, her tongue doing incredible things to him. The sensations were building more quickly now, and he had to fight not to take her head in his hand again. He clutched the sheet beneath him and tried to breathe through the pleasure, his hips pumping slightly because he was incapable of holding them still.

He managed to hold himself back enough that he wasn’t fucking her throat, but he’d never felt more out of control in his life. The sounds he was making were helpless, almost embarrassing. And when she took his balls in her hand he had to stifle a howl.

He came hard into her mouth, unable to stop himself.

She was smiling as she straightened up and wiped her mouth.

He’d collapsed back on the pillow, panting and almost boneless from the strength of his release.

“I guess that was pretty good, then,” Julie said, kissing him gently and then positioning herself beside him.

“Pretty good?” He wheezed a few times and wiped the sweat from his face. “That was miles better than pretty good.”

She couldn’t seem to stop smiling as she nestled against him. He wrapped his arm around her, wondering how it was possible for her to have made him feel so incredible.

His heart as well as his body.

“But you were a little too good for your own good,” he murmured, his hand coming to rest on the curve of her bottom, under her gown.

“I have faith in your powers of recovery. The night isn’t over yet.”

That was true. And he might have a broken leg, but he was going to make sure she enjoyed it as much as he did.

Julie couldn’t believe she’d actually done it. She’d come into Eric’s room. Told him that she wanted him. Shamelessly draped herself across him. Taken him in her mouth and brought him to climax.

It was like one of those fantasies of herself she’d had so many times in the past—the kind of fantasy she’d secretly believed would never actually come to life.

But he was beside her in bed right now. He was still breathing heavily, his skin coated with a thin sheen of perspiration. His eyes were like melting chocolate—sweet and hot and rich.

And he was looking at her with those eyes.
Her
. This wasn’t one of those fantasies.

“You’re really good at that,” he said, his hand sliding up until he was tangling his fingers in her hair.

“Beginner’s luck, I guess,” she answered drily.

He lifted his head. “Really?”

“Well, I’m not a total beginner. But it’s not in my normal repertoire. I guess I don’t have a normal repertoire.” She thought back to herself two months ago—boring, unsexy, never crossing any boundaries at all.

“What does that mean?”

She was almost embarrassed to admit it, since she knew he must have had a huge amount of sexual experience. But she admitted, “I haven’t really gotten around much, you know. That can’t be a surprise to you.”

“It’s not because you’re not sexy,” he said, smiling as he stroked a line with his finger from her hair down her back and to her hip. “And who is all this sexy lingerie for, if not for the men you date?”

She gave a breathy little laugh. “It’s just something I did. I never bought many clothes when I was living with my parents. There wasn’t any need to, and I didn’t have the energy to spend a lot of time on my appearance. But the little extra money I had I always spent on lingerie. I have a lot of it. It’s pretty silly, really.”

“Why is it silly? I definitely appreciate it.” He idly played with the lace trim on her favorite black chemise.

“Well, there wasn’t much chance of anyone but me ever seeing it. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d end up in bed with someone like you. I just kept buying it because I liked it. It made me feel like I had a fun, sexy, secret side.”

“That doesn’t sound silly at all. You do have a side to you that you don’t show to the world. That’s what makes you so intoxicating.”

She couldn’t get enough of his words. Maybe he talked like this to all the women he slept with, but she couldn’t see anything disingenuous in his expression. And the admiration wafted over her like a warm breeze, bringing something inside her to life. “It was always just this fantasy—that there was more to me.”

“There
is
more to you.” He managed to twist his upper body enough to take her face in both of his hands. He pulled her down into a kiss. “With some people, you see all there is to know about them right away. It’s all there on the surface. But with others you have to work harder, dig deeper, and pray that you’ll get there in the end.”

She tried to chuckle drily, making his words into something ironic, but she couldn’t. She felt like she was melting. Like he’d seen her for real—the
her
she’d always hoped she was.

“That’s probably true of everyone, don’t you think? That there’s more to them than they show on the surface.”

“Maybe. But it’s truer of some people than others. It’s truer of you than anyone I’ve ever met.”

She was smiling as he kissed her again, and she couldn’t help but wrap her arms around him. What had started softly, sweetly, began to turn deep. She was still aroused from bringing him to climax a few minutes ago, and her arousal took on new urgency as they kissed, as his hands explored her body, like every part of her was his to touch, his to claim.

Soon she’d straddled his hips so she could feel him in every way. He was starting to get hard again, and she rubbed herself against him, not caring at all if she looked overly eager.

“Did you bring another condom?” he murmured, pulling her chemise up until she had to lift her arms to get it off over her head.

“Yeah.” She’d put it on the nightstand when she’d come in, so she reached over to grab it.

She paused when she turned back to him. He was staring at her naked body like he could swallow her, eat her alive.

His hot gaze left her feeling so completely naked, so vulnerable, that she instinctively brought her arm over to block her breasts a little. But he reached up to move it away and expose her completely to his gaze.

“You’ve seen me before,” she said, trying to be sexy and not self-conscious. But no matter what her fantasy self was like, she was still her, and she’d never been comfortable displaying her body.

“I can never see you enough.” He cupped her breasts with both hands, and she arched into his touch the way she’d done with him before, the first time they were together. “You have no idea the effect your body has on me.”

Pushing aside her self-consciousness, she scooted down slightly so she could get her hands on his erection. He was fully hard again, ready for her. “I can see a little of the effect it has on you,” she murmured with a little smile.

He chuckled, but it turned into a gasp as she stroked him gently. Then, since her own arousal was growing urgent, she carefully rolled on the condom.

“I hope you don’t mind being on top again,” he said, his eyes still raking over her breasts, her face, down to where she held him in her hands. “I’m not sure we can manage another position with this damned cast.”

“This is good.” It was good. Better than she would have expected. She felt strangely free, powerful, as she raised herself up, and together they fit themselves into place as she sank down.

The penetration was tight and full and so good—just like last time. She gave herself a minute to adjust, and then she started to move. He held onto her hips, watching her greedily, until he unexpectedly reached up and pulled her down into a kiss.

The change in position surprised her, and she wriggled her hips until she could figure out a way to keep riding him as she was leaning over like this. His hands were all over her thighs and bottom, sliding and gripping and touching her everywhere. And he was kissing her deeply, hungrily, the urgency in his embrace matching hers.

She couldn’t move fast or hard, so the sensations built inside her slowly. She found a way to get some stimulation on her clit, and she started to moan into his mouth.

He was making low little grunts, rocking his hips beneath her, although he must have been hampered by the cast.

And all of it was so good, so sweet, so much like her and Eric.

It wasn’t some sexy fantasy. It was real. It was him. He was the one she wanted, and he seemed to want her just as much.

Eventually, the sensations grew so deep that she had to break out of the kiss. Her eyes were blurring, and her body was tightening, and her thighs were getting tired. She let out a loud sobbing sound as she felt a climax approaching.

“Fuck, Julie,” Eric gasped, holding the flesh where her thighs met her bottom so hard it almost hurt. “You’re almost there. Come for me. Just like that.”

She cried out again as the sensations broke at the sound of his voice. Her whole body shook as the pleasure washed over her. She was coming down as Eric’s grunting grew faster and louder. She was clear enough to see his face as he let himself go.

When the spasms had all worked themselves out, he pulled her into his arms. They lay together in a sated, exhausted heap, and it felt almost as good as the orgasm had.

He held her like he needed her. Like he never wanted to let her go.

Eventually, she had to pull off him so they could take care of the condom. She got up to throw it away and go to the bathroom. Then she came back to the room to get her chemise and pull it on over her head.

She was considering whether she should go sleep in her own room, since Maddy was in the house, when Eric reached out to pull her toward him. “Oh, no, you don’t. Get back in bed with me.”

There was no way she could refuse him. Nothing inside her wanted to refuse him.

She turned off the light and nestled beside him, wishing she could go to sleep this way every night.

That was just a fantasy.

But a few of her fantasies had already come true. Maybe they weren’t as impossible as she’d always believed.

She woke up at just after five the following morning.

It took her a minute to orient herself, but soon she remembered what she was doing in bed with a big, naked man who was sound asleep, breathing deeply, one arm hooked up above his head.

She smiled down at him in the dark.

She wanted him just as much this morning—asleep like this—as she had when he was smart and sexy and taking her clothes off.

But things were too complicated, and she wasn’t going to indulge her feelings so much that she ended up crushed at the end of this.

She was glad she’d been brave last night. She wouldn’t have missed their time together for the world.

But that didn’t mean everything had changed.

Remembering Maddy, she decided it was better to get out of his room before the girl woke up. She carefully slid out from beneath the covers and was starting to put her feet down when a hand suddenly grabbed her arm.

She gave a little squeal of surprise.

“Where are you going?” Eric asked.

“I’m going to my room.”

“Why? Are you starting to be smart and careful and responsible again, thinking about all the complications?”

“Maybe,” she admitted. “But mostly I don’t want Maddy to see me coming out of your room. I don’t want to confuse her.”

“Oh.” He paused. “Good point.”

“It’s still early. You can get some more sleep. I’ll see you later.”

She was about to get up when he hauled her down toward him and gave her a hard kiss. “Are we still pretending this never happened?” he asked.

“That’s probably best.”

“Okay. But are you going to come to me at night again, while we’re pretending it never happened?”

“Maybe,” she admitted, giving him a quick little kiss before she pulled out of his grasp. “We’ll see.”

She couldn’t really see his face in the dark, but she was almost sure he was smiling.

A few hours later, they were all in the kitchen and Julie was making pancakes.

Eric was drinking coffee, listening to Julie tell Maddy about some of the history of the Outer Banks as she flipped the pancakes. Maddy was listening with wide eyes and asking intelligent and unexpected questions about the lost colony on Roanoke Island and Blackbeard the pirate on Ocracoke.

He hadn’t known half the details that Julie was explaining, but he was more focused on the look on his daughter’s face and the smile on Julie’s.

She really loved Maddy. He could see it on her face. It made a deep feeling tighten in his chest.

“How do you know all this?” Maddy asked at last, taking the plate of three pancakes that Julie offered her and then picking up the bottle of syrup.

“I’ve read about it.”

“Why did you read about it?”

“I studied history in school.”

“In college?”

“Yes, in college and then in graduate school. I majored in history and then got my master’s and then I started my PhD. I specialized in North Carolina history.”

“Oh. Wow. So you know a lot about it, then?”

“Yeah. I know a lot.”

“Why did you just start and not finish?”

It was a perceptive question, which was characteristic of his daughter. Eric was curious about how Julie would answer.

“I got really busy and didn’t have the time and energy to write my dissertation.”

“What’s a dissertation?”

“It’s like a long book on everything you research when you do your PhD.”

“Can you finish it now?”

“I could. Maybe.” Julie’s face was slightly wistful, and he couldn’t help but wonder why she was so reluctant to go back and finish her degree. Maybe it wasn’t something she really wanted to do. Or maybe she was just scared.

“It’s good to finish things that you start,” Maddy said soberly.

Julie’s face relaxed into a smile. “I know it is. I want to finish. I just have to…get back into it. If you stop something for a long time, you lose the momentum, and then you wonder if you can actually do it. Sometimes it’s hard to see that it’s worth it.”

“Oh.” Maddy took a moment to consider this quandary. “Why did you want to do your dissertation anyway?”

“I have to write it to finish my PhD.”

“Why do you need a PhD?”

“Because you have to have one to get a job teaching college at the kind of college I want to teach at.”

“Oh. Then you should finish it.”

Julie sighed and smiled again. “I know I should. Maybe when I stop working for your daddy.”

She’d passed a plate of pancakes to Eric, and now she dropped her head as she put some more batter in the pan to make her own. Her hair was hanging down over her face, the way it did when she felt self-conscious, uncomfortable.

And Eric remembered that the PhD was another one of those fantasies for her, the ones she secretly believed could never come true.

That was what held her back, what had always held her back.

It didn’t seem like a realistic goal for her. It felt like only a dream.

Eric wanted her to have it, to attain that dream, to know for certain that she could cross the boundaries she’d always set for herself.

He wanted her to have everything she’d dreamed of—just because she wanted it, just because she was Julie.

It was a startling thought and one he wasn’t really prepared for. He’d never felt that way about a woman before. Not even close.

Julie looked over at him just then, her slanting gaze quietly searching. He managed to smile at her and was pleased when she smiled back.

It felt like they had a little secret.

They did have a secret.

Maybe it was wrong, but it was the best thing he had going in his life—other than Maddy—and he wasn’t going to give it up.

Not yet, anyway.

Trish arrived after lunch to take Maddy home. She was a little earlier than they’d expected, so Maddy was still down by the beach, where she’d gone with Julie to pick out some seashells to give to her mother.