For Always (14 page)

“You care about her? You’re talking about the rest of your life. Care doesn’t cut it. How do you really feel?”

“That’s what I need to figure out.”

I couldn’t believe after all the advice he gave me on dating, after promptly telling me how each and every guy I dated wasn’t good enough for me only minutes after meeting or hearing about them, he couldn’t see past his nose in his own relationship. No one was ever good enough for me, for exactly the same reasons I could see Madison wasn’t good enough for him.

“So what sent you off the deep end?” he asked.

I cleared my throat. “Charlie and I broke up.”

“Too bad. He was the cream of the crop so far.”

I nodded, “I thought so too.”

“What happened?”

I picked up my pizza and took another bite. It was my pathetic attempt at stalling, while I tried to figure out what to say.

“He’s in love with someone else.” For someone who believed in being forthcoming and truthful, I certainly didn’t seem out of sorts with lying to save face.

“I’m sorry.”

“Not as sorry as I am,” I replied with a snigger.

“How did you find out?”

“We were alone tonight. Things were getting . . . ” I searched for the right word, “serious.”

“How serious?” He stared into my eyes with such intensity I thought he could see through me.

“We almost . . . ” Embarrassment getting the best of me, I looked away. Unable to fathom we were discussing this, I felt my cheeks get hot and pink. They were always full of color when they were that hot and I wondered if he picked up on the change of hue. I swallowed hard before continuing. “He told me he loved me for the first time, but the name at the end wasn’t mine.”

Jordan reached across the table and put his hand on top of mine. I felt tiny little bursts of energy ricochet like jumping beans throughout my body.

“Sleazebag!”

“Agreed.”

“He doesn’t know what he’s missing.”

“And you do?”

His eyes darted to the side, evading mine. He took a deep breath, “I guess you’re not going to go to prom with him?”

“Of course I am,” I snapped, “because I think so little of myself, my only option is go with someone who doesn’t want to be with me!”

“I didn’t mean it that way. It’s just, I thought the prom was next week and I didn’t know if you had another date lined up.”

I closed my eyes feeling like an idiot. Not only did this night rank as the worst night of the year, it was certain to cast its shadow of darkness on the most important night of a young woman’s life.

“Not next week. Two weeks from tonight,” I answered, “and no, I don’t have anyone to go with.”

“Two Fridays from now?”

I nodded.

“I believe I’m free that evening,” he smiled mischievously, his eyes shining.

A moment of silence filled the air as I nearly spit my soda out at him. A silence I dared not break, lest I should find out my ears played a trick on me. Did I hear right?

“That is if you wouldn’t mind going with me?”

“Mind?” Who was he kidding? I’d just about sell my mother to go to the prom with him. “No Jordan,” I said with as much sweetness as I could muster up, “I wouldn’t mind at all.”

Minutes ago I felt like the world’s biggest heel for what I did to poor Charlie. Now I couldn’t even remember Charlie’s last name. From the moment I’d laid eyes on Jordan I’d waited for a moment like this, and it couldn’t have come at a better time.

The prom!

He asked to take me to the all-important, stereotypical, senior prom. I forgot Charlie, forgot everything because my prayers had been answered.

I dreamed of spending an incredibly romantic evening with Jordan. An evening neither of us would forget. An evening that would propel me from a little girl to a woman in his eyes. I’d been handed it on a silver platter. I’d look stunning and the romantic atmosphere would be intoxicating. I hoped.

“Do you mean it?” I asked enthusiastically.

“Absolutely.”

“What about Madison?”

“She’ll understand.” He paused. “Besides, she knows you’re like a sister to me.”

Yikes! A sister. That’s how he saw me. That was even worse than a little girl. Inevitably little girls do grow up but once a sister, how does one break out of that mold?

At least Madison wouldn’t see me as a threat. And since she had the great idea to see other people, I didn’t think she’d mind when I blew away his little sister image with one of a sex goddess.

Twenty

I sat on my bed hugging my knees, staring at my alarm clock. I wondered how long it would take Maria to sprint out of her house, climb over the wrought iron banister between our homes, and race up the stairs to my room. A minute and a half later she burst through my door breathing heavily.

“How did this happen?” Maria yelled.

“Shhh. Not so loud.” I raised my hand and pressed it against my pounding head trying to ease the throbbing.

“Tell me what happened!” She demanded in a lower voice.

I spilled my guts. I explained the perfect dinner and candlelight at Charlie’s. I told her about the music, the romance of the evening and how much I wanted to make love to him.

“It sounds incredible.”

I nodded. “It was.”

“So what happened?”

“Remember our little conversation about Jordan and your concerns about my feelings for him?”

“Yeah,” she answered wearing a look of confusion.

“Charlie told me he loved me.”

“That’s great. Isn’t it?” She was still perplexed.

“It would have been, if I responded I love you too, Charlie.”

Her eyes doubled in size, “What did you say?”

“Jordan.”

Her hand covered her mouth as she tried to hold back her laughter, “You didn’t.”

“I did. He was fuming.”

“Can you blame him? If Rob ever did that to me I’d kill him on the spot.”

I shook my head, “That’s just it. I can’t blame him.”

Maria listened in amazement to how Jordan miraculously appeared while I sat on the curb crying and swept me off to the pizzeria. It sounded more like fiction than reality, even to me.

Although I still felt bad about the way things ended with Charlie, I couldn’t help but be excited about the sudden twist of fate. I couldn’t wait to see what lay in store on prom night.

“Do you think my dress is okay? Maybe I should get something different? Sexier?”

Maria pulled my prom dress from the closet, and held it against her lithe body. The short, blue, baby doll dress had a black lace halter strap and asymmetrical black lace layer over the bodice. The back was low cut with black lace flowers traveling down to the full skirt.

“It’s perfect! Elegant, sexy and so you!” she declared.

“I’m so nervous. I want everything to be perfect.”
“Do you think he’ll break up with Madison?” she asked.

“I can’t think about that right now. I’m just trying to figure out how I’m going to make it through the next two weeks without going out of my mind.”

Two weeks never took so long to pass. The days dragged by so slowly each felt doubly long. Like every day was made up of forty-eight hours rather than twenty-four. I could barely eat or sleep. I found myself counting the days, the hours and eventually the minutes until the big event. The only bright spot was the time Jordan and I spent making arrangements.

With little more than a week to go, he took me with him to help pick out his tuxedo. We joked around as he tried on different styles, until he found the right one. After modeling an array of double-breasted jackets and jackets with tails, he settled on a single-breasted shawl jacket with a charcoal lapel, blue vest and bowtie.

I imagined this is what he’d look like on his wedding day. On our wedding day. Fortunately I was one step closer to making it happen. I knew I had one night, the most magical night in a young lady’s life, to make him see the light. To show him how fantastic true love can be.

My mother let me stay home the day of the prom. School would be there next week. Senior prom was a once in a lifetime deal. She sent me to a salon for the afternoon and treated me to the works. A makeover, manicure, pedicure, and of course, the all-important up do.

I was waited on hand and foot. In-between services I relaxed in a small candlelit room with soft soothing music. A pitcher of drinking water stood on a table with sliced apples, nectarines and strawberries inside it. I felt like royalty.

I returned home shortly after five, leaving me with less than two hours to get dressed. After touching up my hair and makeup, I looked in the mirror completely satisfied with my appearance. I especially liked how the gold flecks in my brown eyes jumped up and danced.

My mother knocked on my bedroom door half an hour before Jordan was scheduled to arrive. She wanted to know if I needed help with anything.

“Come in,” I called out.

She hadn’t yet seen me since I returned from the salon. Her hands cradled her chin beneath her open mouth. She spoke no words but I could see how moved she was from the tears that glazed over her eyes.

“You look magnificent,” she said through a cracking voice.

“Thank you,” I smiled.

“And so grown up. Like a beautiful young lady.” She came over and hugged me. “Your father would be so proud.”

Even though I knew this could be the most wonderful night of my life, I was sad that my father wasn’t there to see me off. “I hope he is.”

She hesitated a moment, “I wanted to wish you luck tonight. I know how much you‘ve been looking forward to it. Especially since Jordan asked to take you.”

I understood the double entendre in her words. My mother understood how I felt about Jordan. I could see from her darting eyes and the sudden twitching of her mouth to the side as she bit her bottom lip; she was more nervous than I.

She’d grown accustomed to my relationship with Charlie, mostly because she didn’t believe I had deep feelings for him. Jordan was another story.

I’d set my sights on him long ago. I planned my adult life with Jordan as my husband. I’d follow him across the country or the world for that matter, and no one knew it better than the woman who blessed me with the gift of life.

“Just try to enjoy tonight for what it is.”

I rolled my eyes.

“I’m serious, Stephanie. I don’t want to see you set yourself up to have the chair knocked from under you.”
“Don’t worry, Mom.”

“Worrying is my job, sweetheart. It’s what mothers do best.”

Again my mother embraced me and kissed me on the cheek. She turned to leave but I felt she needed reassuring.

“I’m not going to do anything stupid, Mom.”

“I know. I just don’t want to see you do anything you’ll regret.”

“You mean sex?”

Mom flinched. As open as we were with each other, sex was a forbidden subject. She told me all about the birds and the bees. She spoke to me about contraception but that’s all. It wasn’t open for discussion.

“I wish that was all I was worried about.” An awkward silence hung in the air. “I’d like to take pictures.”

“I’ll be right down.