For Always (30 page)

Kissing him was so much better than I imagined. Then again I always knew it would be.

Thirty-Nine

I didn’t want to let go of Jordan. Ever. After a while, and many assurances that he’d meet me back at my house we agreed to separate for a few hours. I went home to shower and change into dry clothes. He did the same. And also to let people know he was alive and well.

As promised, Jordan rang my doorbell, ready to drive me to the hospital to see my mother. I opened the door to find a teary-eyed Maria with her arms wrapped around him, cutting off the flow of oxygen to his lungs.

Emotionally spent from the morning, Jordan and I didn’t say much on the ride to the hospital. We said all that needed to be said earlier. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable, it rarely was with Jordan. But I could feel the anxiety he tried to stifle.

“Are you okay?” I asked, noticing how tight his fingers were clenched around the steering wheel.

“Just worried about you,” he said, never taking his eyes off the road, even at the red lights.

“I’m fine.” I assured him.

After parking the car, Jordan reached across my seat and pulled me close. I turned to face him.

“I promise you’ll never have to go through things like this alone.”

My eyes pooled with tears of joy. I knew he meant it. I didn’t feel alone or misunderstood. No longer did I look at myself as a misfit, longing for acceptance. I found my place; rather, my place found me.

I wiped the lone tear running down my cheek with my finger. “I know,” I answered.

Riding up in the elevator, I snuck a peek at my gorgeous boyfriend. How strange to say those words in my head and know they were true, and not part of a fantasy I dreamed up. I couldn’t wait to speak them aloud. Jordan’s arm came around my waist and I leaned into him, pressing against his side. We seemed to fit each other perfectly, like complimentary puzzle pieces.

“You look happy,” Jordan whispered, looking down at me, “I don’t think you’ve ever looked more beautiful.”

I felt myself blush. I had a feeling, I’d be doing a lot more of that in the near future.

Stepping off the elevator and onto the floor, I led the way to my mother’s room. We stood in the doorway, flowers and puzzle books in hand, to find Mom sitting up in a reclining chair.

Alone in the room, she had the adjustable tray in front of her, and playing cards set up for a game of solitaire. My mother looked stunned as her eyes fell on Jordan.

I hadn’t burdened her with any details of the last twenty-four hours, so she had no idea Shawn and I broke up, or that I very nearly lost Jordan forever.

“Jordan! How nice to see you,” Mom smiled.

For a moment Jordan didn’t speak. I could see the wave of emotion wash over his face. For the first time, it occurred to me, him being in a hospital under any circumstance may not be a good idea. He recovered quickly from whatever haunted him at the moment.

“I hope you don’t mind me coming with Stephanie. If so, I could wait downstairs,” he offered with a smile.

“Don’t be silly,” Mom assured him.

“You’re looking much better.”

We all turned to the deep male voice filling the room. A dark haired doctor looking to be in his mid-fifties walked over to my mother.

“This is Dr. Abrahms,” she introduced us. “He’s the cardiologist the hospital assigned to me.”

“All the tests came out negative,” he addressed my mother. “Which means, it wasn’t a heart attack at all. You are absolutely fine.”

We breathed a collective sigh of relief. The doctor continued to speak, and promised Mom she could go home tomorrow, so long as nothing changed between now and then. Doctor Abrams asked Jordan and me, to step out into the hall while he examined her. Once he drew the curtain for privacy, I turned to Jordan and thanked him again for coming.

“I bet she’d really like a cup of coffee. Why don’t we surprise her with one?” I suggested.

Jordan appeared to be lost in thought, somewhere far away. It frightened me. Not because I couldn’t handle his problems, but because I feared he’d change his mind and pull away again.

“I think that’s a great idea, but would you mind if I wait here? I don’t feel much like being in a crowd.”

“I can take a cab home,” I offered. The last thing I wanted to do was cause him any grief, and if being in the hospital brought back painful memories, then I wanted him to know it was okay to go. “I understand if this is hard for you.”

He took my face in his hands, and kissed me full on the mouth. “I’m fine. And this is where I want to be. Right here. With you. I just don’t want to go down to the café and hear people talking about the crash.”

“Okay. Can I get you anything?” I asked.

He shook his head. “I’m fine.”

I’d only taken two steps away before Jordan reached out and pulled me back to him. “Hurry back!” He kissed me again, offering motivation, before watching me go.

Instead of coffee, I thought a cup of chamomile tea would be a better choice. I also bought two bottles of water, one for Jordan and one for me. I had a queasy feeling in my belly, that he wasn’t as okay as he wanted me to believe, and rushed back as quickly as I could.

When the elevator doors opened, I looked down the hall toward my mother’s room. No sign of Jordan. My stomach got that weird feeling, like just before a roller coaster drops from the highest point of the track, scaring the daylights out of you. I tried to still the panic storm rising inside me. Everything is fine, I told myself, knowing I was full of it.

“Are you trying to finish me off?” I heard my mother say from just outside the door. Only I didn’t know if she was joking or serious.

“I mean it,” I heard Jordan’s voice, calm and serious. “I want to spend the rest of my life making her happy.”

I thought I was going to fall face down on the floor. I didn’t move. I stood just beyond their sight, frozen, curious to hear what came next.

“Jordan, are you planning to ask her to marry you?” Mom asked with both disbelief and alarm.

I couldn’t believe she asked him that. So inappropriate, and embarrassing.

And intriguing!

For a moment I heard nothing and decided to march in and save him, but the sound of his voice stopped me.

“Yes.” He cleared his throat, “Not now, but someday.”

“She has to graduate from college first.”

Was she setting a condition? How could she!

“I know,” he answered, “I just wanted to make sure you knew what my intentions are.” Something in his voice pulled at my heartstrings. “In case you didn’t approve.”

“Oh, Jordan,” Mom sounded sympathetic. “She loves you.”

“I know.”

“Then you also know, nothing I say will make any difference. Just be good to her and make her happy. That’s all I can ask.”

“I promise to always try.”

“Just one question,” Mom continued, “Is Stephanie aware of your intentions?”

“I doubt it.”

“Then maybe you should be having this conversation with my daughter.”

“I wouldn’t want to scare her off,” he chuckled.

Even if he told me he was a zombie, back-from–the-dead-to-eat-my-brains, he couldn’t scare me off. I let his words sink in before entering the room. He loved me and someday he wanted to marry me.

Someday.

I couldn’t let on that I’d been eavesdropping outside the door. Not a good way to start a relationship. I’d just have to wait until he was good and ready to tell me himself.

And I knew anything that good was worth waiting for.

About the Author

Danielle Sibarium was born and raised in Brooklyn, NY. She earned
her BA from Fairleigh Dickinson University in New Jersey.
For Always
is her first novel. She lives in New Jersey with her husband and three children. Visit her at daniellesibarium.com