For Better or For Worse (6 page)

I was taken back, “Really?
And do what?”
I know you don’t think you
about to stay up in this house without a job,
I thought to myself. He looked up at me sincerely, “I’ve been
thinking, I know a few people who work in the corporation,
hopefully I can get hooked up with a desk job or something. Hell if
I go back to school and get in some night classes I could be
running things.” I was damn near in tears when he told me he wanted
to go back to school; it was hard enough to make Grant go to the
welding program let along college. For him to even be motivated to
do something like that was powerful. “I’m getting tired of being
away for so long. I was thinking maybe a desk job in the company
could keep me close to home and give me some time with you guys.” I
smiled. “Well that sounds good to me. What brought this on?” Grants
kissed the top of little Greg’s head and then brought his mouth to
mine and lingered for a moment. “He did.”

Five years passed soon
after little Greg was born and I had moved up to chief editor of
Elite. I hoped out of my new SL five hundred Benz and made my way
into the work place. “Hello Mrs. Smith how are you?” “Just fine
thank you.” I made way into my office and looked at the work
schedule before me today. “Let’s see meeting at ten, phone call
with a modeling agency at twelve, and a staff meeting at three.”
“Knock knock boss lady.” Meg strolled in. “So how does it feel to
be the new chief editor of Elite?” I pretended to think about it
for a minute. “Quite glamorous thank you for asking.” We pulled
each other into a hug.

“
Girl it’s been a long
time coming?” She squealed. “Who are you telling?” After years of
hard work and selling out multiple covers of Elite I finally got
promoted to chief editor. I strutted back to my seat in my power
black suit. I felt all my hard work had finally paid off. Meg took
a seat opposite me in a covered black dress and white pearls
looking like a runway model herself. “So, how have you celebrated
your rising up?” She asked cheerfully. I halfway smiled knowing
that there wasn’t a lot of celebrating going in my house lately,
matter fact you would think I was robbing banks the way my husband
hates my job. “Well Grant and I went to dinner, ordered a cake and…
yeah it was fun.”

Meg nodded at my dull
face. “Wow… I so believe you.” I rolled my eyes at her unable to
hide the truth. “Ok so it wasn’t as perfect as I would have hoped
for but it’s ok.” “Ok, what the hell is wrong with him. Does he
know how hard you have worked to get this position?” I shook my
head and stared at the wedding picture of Grant and I on my
desk.The day I married him was the happiest day of my life, how
things ended up being so poorly now I didn’t know. “I work long
hours…I get home damn near midnight. Grant thinks I’m neglecting
him.” Meg gave me her infamous
girl please
look
. “Well it’s not easy being on top…
you have to put in some time. He should understand.” I leaned up in
my chair. “I tried telling him that but it goes in one ear and out
the other.”

I sighed, my frustration
was getting to me and every day I end up popping Advil’s like
skittles. Meg nodded. “I got a plan. I say take one day out the
week and spend it with him and Greg. You guys can go to an
amusement park, out to dinner, have family bonding time.” I shook
my head and looked at her like she was crazy. “A day girl, are you
kidding? Do you know how much work I have to do within the hour let
along a day?” Whew, it hurt my brain just thinking about it. “C’mon
luce try and met the man halfway here...please.” I gave it some
thought, we could all use some time together as a family. “I guess
a day wouldn’t hurt…” I stared back out at our wedding photo
missing that passion and love my husband and I used to have. “I
could use some personal time to end this dry spell if you know what
I mean.” I laughed but Meg looked at me as if she was scared. “Girl
I hope I never have to know what you mean.”

Grant

Honk, Honk. Traffic today
was a bitch as usual, I should have guessed so being that it was
three in the afternoon. But this was the time that I had to pick up
my son from school because Lord knows his mother could never get
around to doing it. Little Greg was getting bigger by the second
and already attending kindergarten with the other kids. It amazed
me how time flied so fast. Lucy had moved up in her position to
chief editor making Elite one of the most successful magazines in
New York. I went back to school obtained my AA in management and
took over a supervising job at my welding company. I may not have
had the same rush of excitement exploring out different cities but
it was the same satisfaction. I stopped at little Greg’s school in
my New Range Rover, and waited for him to be walked out.

“
Dad….Dad….” he ran into
my arms from the playground outside. “Hey there kid…How was Happy
Learners? Huh?” I glanced over my son, barely 4’3, his medium brown
skin glowing into the sunlight, and his curly hair was softly
blowing in the breeze but the thing that made me smile was that all
his teeth had seemed to be disappearing. “Today was great Dad. I
played on the jungle gym, monkey bars, and sandbox.” He spoke so
joyfully. “That’s great. Are you ready to go home?” He smiled
jumping up in down like the energizer bunny. “Yeah.” A look of
nervousness spread across my face as I noticed my son’s hyper
actions. “Um, Greg… what did your mama pack you for a snack today?”
“Air heads and caprisun!”

He screamed, still jumping
up and down.
Got damn
, I thought.
I told her ass stop
feeding him all that damn candy now he’s gonna be bouncing off the
walls.
After getting home I let little
Greg watch some television and ordered some take out for the both
of us for dinner tonight. After dinner Greg got washed up and I
prepared him for bed. “And the little prince lived happily ever
after.” “Yaaaaaaay…read it again.” Little Greg begged. I sat up and
kissed him on the head. “No can do kid, it’s time for bed.” He
dropped his head down. “Aaah… Man.” I laughed. “Maybe tomorrow ok.”
He nodded his little head. “K…maybe mama can read with us too.” I
grimaced a little then smiled at my son. “Maybe.” I turned off the
light and let Greg go to sleep.

Chapter
6

Making an Effort

Grant

It was no secret I hated my
wife’s job, don’t get me wrong I loved the fact she was doing what
she always wanted to do, but it was the time it was taking away
from Greg and I that caused a constant argument, yet the end result
would never change. By the time Lucy got home little Greg was fast
asleep and I was cleaning up the kitchen…as usual. “Hey.” She said
while strolling in. I turned from the dishes and looked up at her.
She looked real business savvied up as always in her dark tailored
suit and matching bag, she was still a very appealing woman to me
but she was missing that care free attitude and sparkle in her eye
she used to have. “Well you made it in before the crack of dawn,
that’s great.”

I said sarcastically and I
didn’t even care if it offended her anymore. “Oh c’mon baby.” Lucy
exhaled. “I left a message.” I shook my head...the fourth message
this week. God forbid if I tally up the whole month. “Yeah, another
message saying you won’t be home again tonight.” I paused to
seriously look at her, this beautiful woman; she has the same
pretty eyes, soft lips, and curly hair that I loved so much. It
always really matched well with her dark ebony skin. All the
familiar features were there but I still couldn’t see my wife. “I
wonder do you prefer to be at your job instead of home with your
family.” Lucy looked irritated now and plopped her bag on the
table. “You know that’s not true, be fair this month’s issue was
serious, work needed to be done.”

I sucked my teeth at her
and began to walk up stairs. “Stop Luce, just stop, it’s always
something with you.” She rolled her eyes and followed me. “Grant,
can you wait a second.” As I walked into the bedroom I noticed how
this once lively room now seemed so dark and dreary…the passion
that kept us going seemed to be fading. I turned around to face
her. “You know why I stopped welding baby. I didn’t want to be
miles away from my family. You guys needed me here. Now this was
brought to my attention when our son was born that I needed to get
my life together, now five years later you still haven’t caught
on?” I didn’t understand her, why couldn’t she see that she was
avoiding me and her son like we were unimportant or something to
scratch off her to do list.

I started to undress. Lucy
plopped on the bed eyes staring up at the ceiling as if she were in
a daze. “Grant please don’t do this …Not tonight.” I stopped what I
was doing and tried to find some common ground with her. “Look I’m
not trying to nag you. I’m not, I just want you to spend more time
with me and your son… we would like your attention too.” I made my
way over to lie beside her and gave her the pleading puppy dog eyes
that she liked so much. She smiled at me. “Ok…Ok I’m going to do
better. Little Greg is probably starting to miss his mom anyway.
I’m going to make it up to you guys, I promise.”

I was hoping she had
finally got it. Lucy took her jacket off and laid her head on my
chest. “I have figured out how I’m going to make it up to little
Greg, but I have also thought of some ways to make it up to you
too.” She said with a dirty smile while circling her finger though
my unbuttoned shirt. “Unless…You’re still mad.” I rolled us over so
that I mounted on top of her taking her by surprise. “Baby you
could never make me that damn mad.” She laughed but then turned
serious, “You know I really do love you Grant.” I smiled knowing
that she spoke the truth. “Well actions speak louder than words, so
let’s see how much love you have right now.” She couldn’t help but
laugh as I was stripping us both naked.

Lucy

As morning came I went down
to the kitchen to get some much needed coffee. Last night coming
home I knew was going to be tough but thank God it didn’t turn into
a screaming match…like it usually did. I am trying my best to be an
successful editor and really make a name for myself in the fashion
industry, all while trying to maintain a happy household…tough job
but somebody has got to do it. I took a hard sip of my coffee and
reflected on all the years it took to get to this point. I love my
husband and child more than anything in this world; I never want to
make them feel like I have abandoned them.

Trust me I know how it
feels to have someone who is supposed to love you and be there for
you just walk out and leave. I don’t remember my mother, of course
I have seen pictures, heard stories but I have no memories of my
own of her. All through school my friends told me how their mothers
bought them this, showed them how to make that, argued about this
and so on and so forth. My teen years…Those were the times that got
a little heavy for me but I always had my father’s love and
support. He didn’t mind being the only dad at cheerleading
tournaments screaming louder than some of the moms. I could still
here is voice now. “Go baby Go, tuck and roll!” He didn’t mind
teaching me how to cook old family recipes or sit with me at the
salon while I got my hair did.

My dad even talked to me
about everything from birth control, periods and sex …no matter how
uncomfortable he was with the subject. That man went above and
beyond for me and I convinced myself he was all the parent I needed
or maybe I just wanted to believe that. I shrugged these thoughts
off as if they were of no importance anymore, can’t miss what you
never had. I glanced at my stainless steel oven and other finery I
had detailed in my home. I took pride in these fine things knowing
I could do well for myself and my family, especially since I got
promoted. I may have put in some long hours, and sacrificed a lot
of time with those I love but it all worked out for the good. As I
heard the pitter patter of small feet, Little Greg made is way
downstairs for breakfast as usual in the morning. I chuckled at the
sight of him. He always looked so adorable in his Spiderman
pajamas.

He looked happily surprised
to see me in the kitchen; usually I’d be gone around this time. “Hi
honey.” Greg smiled and ran into my arms. “Mama!” I picked my
little man up and wrapped my arms around him real tight; he was
getting so big I had to put him down just as quickly as I picked
him up. “What are you doing home mommy?” “Well mommy decided that
she wanted to spend more time with her two favorite guys today.” I
kissed the top of his curly head. Greg jumped up and down. “Yeah!”
“Oh shhhhh…Not so loud honey dad is still sleeping.” He raised his
index finger to his lips. “Sorry… Shhhhhhh” I came up with an idea
that I thought would get Grant off my back at least for a little
while. “How about this honey, how about I take you out for
breakfast today and then we go to the zoo huh?” Little Greg nodded.
“Ok, but what about daddy, don’t you want to make up with him to?”
He asked innocently. “Oh I think I have made up with your dad
enough for today.” I smiled to myself. “Lest go get dressed ok?”
“Ok” Little Greg ran upstairs and I could hear him rummaging
through his closet. I took a good stretch before walking upstairs
myself. Making an effort I said to myself, making an effort and it
damn sure better be worth it.

Chapter 7

The
Clean-up Woman

Grant

I yawned leaning back in my
desk chair as the clock continued to tick on the wall. I was back
at work again assigning jobs, sending out exports, and taking in
imports as usual. I had become very content with my position as
supervisor; it made me more business savvy and kept me close to
home. Speaking of home I was still on the war grounds. Not that
things between Lucy and I had not gotten better for a while. That
was until she took over hosting her magazines annual end of the
year party which she refused to turn down. All the long hours at
work and business meetings continued to drive her further away from
me. Funny thing is, I couldn’t decide on whether I was being
selfish or that she was being neglectful. I looked at her picture
on my office desk; it was a picture of us at Malibu beach for our
one year anniversary. Way back then everything was easy as pie but
I feared those days were now over. I didn’t understand, I love Lucy
so much, but I can’t get her to see what’s happening to us, I
didn’t know what to do.