Authors: Brynn Stein
Liam chuckled. “It wasn’t my original intention. But now that you mention it….” They both laughed, and Liam sat up, pulling Branson against him again. “You want me to leave, or you want to watch another episode?”
“Those are my only choices?” Branson’s voice actually squeaked in reply.
Liam chuckled again. “For now.”
Branson grabbed the remote, gave Liam a fake scowl, and viciously stabbed the play button.
Branson
T
HEY
CUDDLED
on the couch until late into the night. Branson had been so frustrated at first. Once he decided to tell Liam he wanted a relationship, he had half expected that they’d… well, he wasn’t sure exactly what he expected, but it wasn’t for Liam to slow them down to almost a stop. After the aborted make-out session on the couch, they watched another episode, then another, and Branson began to see the appeal behind taking it slow.
He laid his head on Liam’s chest, and somewhere during one of the episodes, Liam stretched out against the back of the couch and arranged Branson in front of him, so they were lying back to front.
Thank goodness for a deep couch
, Branson thought.
They petted each other gently as they lay there. Liam ran his hand up and down Branson’s chest and down his thigh as far as he could reach. He even brushed ever so lightly across the front of Branson’s jeans from time to time. Not enough to arouse—at least not more than Branson was already aroused—but enough to let Branson know that Liam hadn’t forgotten the change in their status.
Branson ran his hands over Liam’s as they moved across his body. He reached behind him and stroked Liam’s thigh and butt, as much as he could reach. He took a page from Liam’s book and stroked lightly over the zipper on Liam’s slacks. If he had any doubt that Liam was as into this as he was, he had his proof when he did that.
At first Branson wondered how Liam could possibly be happy with simply lying here and not doing more than this. It felt like Branson had been waiting his whole life for this and part of him wanted to step on the gas. But the more he lay there in front of Liam being caressed, practically worshiped, while they watched TV, he found that it was somehow almost even more enjoyable. He felt himself calm down from his initial frenzy, and after a while, he was so relaxed, he fell asleep.
When he finally awoke, it was way after midnight, and the DVD player had long since given up on them. Branson craned his neck to look back at Liam… getting ready to ask how he could have let him sleep that long, but he found that Liam was fast asleep as well, still holding Branson.
This is nice
, Branson had to admit. It was probably nicer than if they had continued at their original pace. Liam was right, they’d get there, but the journey was going to be as fun as the destination. He didn’t have the heart to wake Liam, and to be honest to himself, he didn’t want to give this up, so he laid his head down and went back to sleep.
Liam
L
IAM
LOOKED
at the clock on the DVD player and was shocked to find it was after three in the morning.
Good thing neither of us have to work tomorrow
, he thought.
He lay there for the longest time, watching Branson sleep. He looked so young and peaceful when he slept. Liam couldn’t help running his fingers down the side of Branson’s face. He noticed that forever errant lock of hair was back in his face again, so Liam brushed it away. He had gotten away with brushing it out of Branson’s face a couple of times before, but now he vowed he was going to make a career of it. Branson always threatened to get it cut, but Liam truly hoped he didn’t. He loved that little lock.
When Branson didn’t stir from being touched, Liam almost tried to go back to sleep, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to. He was too tall to be comfortable in one position on this sofa for long and his back and legs were cramping badly. Usually when he stayed over, he moved around almost constantly. Besides that, he had to go to the bathroom.
“Bran,” Liam whispered, still petting Branson’s face. “I’ve got to get up.”
Branson didn’t move at first, but Liam kept stroking his face and arms and chest, letting his touch get firmer as he went. Finally, Branson moaned, a sleepy little sound that almost made Liam want to turn him around and kiss that sound off his lips. But he didn’t.
“I have to go to the bog, man.”
“Huh?” Apparently Branson did not wake up gracefully. “To the wha’?”
Liam pet Branson’s hair. “You’re adorable, pally.” Then he pushed him a little. “But I need to get up. Right now.”
“Ummm….” Branson only snuggled closer. “Five more minutes.”
“Branny, now.” Liam pushed a bit harder than he meant to, and Branson hit the floor.
Branson looked up with the widest eyes Liam had ever seen. “What did you do that for?”
Liam jumped up and hurried toward the bathroom. “We’ll talk about your ability to wake up quickly later.”
“Don’t
have
an ability to wake up quickly,” Branson mumbled, not following the conversation, and went back to sleep on the floor.
Branson
S
ATURDAY
MORNING
was awkward. Branson wasn’t sure how much he should push the new relationship: how fast they should move, how fast Liam wanted to move. It felt weird being the one to want to push forward. Branson thought he understood Liam’s reasoning, but it almost felt like a slight, like Liam was no longer interested, like Branson had waited too long. He knew that wasn’t true, but he couldn’t shake the feeling.
They moved around each other, in not quite as comfortable silence, getting cereal for breakfast and getting ready for the day.
“We’ll have to stop by my place on the way,” Liam said. They had made plans to go to Liam’s parents’ house to check on his dad and see if his mom needed anything.
“Yeah,” Branson mumbled. “Yeah, that’s fine.”
Liam must have had enough of the silence because he came over and gently took Branson by the upper arms. “See, this is why I wanted to go slow last night. You regret even the little bit we did, don’t you?”
“What?” It hadn’t occurred to Branson that Liam might interpret his silence that way. “No.” Liam looked less than convinced, so Branson reiterated. “No, really, I don’t.”
Liam’s facial expression softened, but he didn’t let go of Branson’s arms. “Then why the tension this morning? Nothing else has changed but that. That’s the only thing I can think of for why you’re tiptoeing around me this morning. I’ve slept on your couch before, and you never act like this in the morning.”
Branson thought about it for a moment. He guessed he could see Liam’s point, but he also knew that what he was actually worried about would sound silly.
“Did I wait too long?” Branson was pretty sure he already knew the answer, but the vulnerable part of him wasn’t so sure. “Are you no longer interested?”
Liam reached up and ran the back of his fingers down Branson’s face. “Please tell me you know better than that.” But just in case, he leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on Branson’s lips. “Of course, you wouldn’t have asked if you knew better, would you?” He gathered Branson into his arms. “You could never wait too long. I told you I’d wait for you forever, if I had to. And I’m grateful that I don’t have to, but I don’t want to rush and push you away either. I don’t want this to be about sex.” He kissed Branson’s hair. “I don’t know if you’re ready to hear this, but I care so much for you it’s scary. I think I’m in love with you, though I wasn’t going to tell you that yet. I don’t want to scare you. The deal still goes. I’ll never ask for something you’re not ready to give.”
Branson looked up. “You don’t seem to want what I’m ready to give either.”
Liam pulled back a bit and met Branson’s eyes. “I don’t think you’re as ready for all that as you think you are.”
Branson pushed Liam away at that. “I wish people would stop telling me how to live my life, who to be, who I should be with, what I’m ready for. I’m not a goddamned kid!”
Liam hung his head and took a deep breath. Then he met Branson’s eye again but didn’t move any closer. “I don’t think you’re a kid. And I don’t think anyone, including me, should tell you how to live. I’m just scared, Bran. If we do… more… and then you decide you don’t like it, or don’t want it… if you pull away from me, or worse, stop seeing me altogether, I don’t know what I’d do.”
Branson’s heart melted. He closed the distance between them and stroked Liam’s face. “I don’t know if I’ll like it. I won’t know for sure until we do it. But I can’t imagine I would dislike being with you. I think I’m in love with you too, Liam, and I don’t plan on pushing you away, not on purpose, but I don’t know how to interpret the hesitancy.”
Liam shrugged. “I just want you to be sure.”
Branson stepped forward again until he was practically against Liam’s chest. He gave him a gentle kiss. “If we try something and I find I don’t like it, we don’t have to do that particular thing again. But I know I want this.” He waved his hand between the two of them. “Let’s not put any limits on it one way or the other, okay? Can we just see where it goes, without directing it or holding it back? I’m almost positive I don’t want to… go all the way. And don’t I feel like a teenaged girl for saying that, but I don’t want to have to stop until we both really want to stop. Not because you’re afraid to let it go faster.” Liam didn’t look convinced, though Branson could tell he was trying. “I won’t leave. I promise. You’re stuck with me forever.”
“Bran.” Liam spoke softly. “You just recently came to terms with being gay, with even wanting a relationship with me. I don’t think….”
“I’ve finally decided to stop fighting the fact that I was gay, but this—us—isn’t a new decision. I’ve known I was attracted to you since almost the moment we met. I didn’t want to let myself, but I’ve felt the… pull… for a while now. This isn’t a spur-of-the-moment thing.”
Liam didn’t seem to know how to respond to that, so Branson leaned in and kissed him. When he felt Liam respond, he deepened the kiss. Liam’s response seemed reluctant at first, then he softened into the kiss. They stood there for several minutes, kissing gently and running their hands over each other’s chests and arms and backs and butts. Branson finally pulled away.
“We promised your mom we’d be over there this morning to help,” Branson said, breathless. “We probably should go.”
Liam shook his head in disbelief. “Talk about your mixed signals.” But Branson could tell he was kidding. They’d get back to that activity later. For now, the Sullivans needed some help.
L
IAM
’
S
PARENTS
were in the kitchen when Branson and Liam arrived. Collin Sullivan was reading the paper at the table, and Aideen was finishing up the dishes. Liam and Branson had come in right after the older two had finished breakfast, apparently. Liam grabbed a biscuit on his way by them on the counter. Then he tossed another to Branson.
Branson chuckled as Aideen grabbed the biscuit away from Liam and slapped his hand.
“You know better than to grab, young man,” Aideen said in her best mock “cross” voice and then handed the biscuit back to him and chuckled. “Didn’t have breakfast?”
“Well, we got a bowl of cereal before we left my place,” Branson answered before thinking about what that might sound like.
Aideen looked smug. “You were both staying at Branson’s place, Liam?”
Branson always thought it was cute how Liam turned back into a five-year-old when he was with his mom. “We…,” Liam started, but then gave Branson a “help” look.
Branson chuckled. “We fell asleep watching
Firefly
, Ma.”
“Oh, that’s the one with that really handsome, strapping young fellow. What’s his name? Mal? Yeah, that’s it. Mal. He’s gorgeous, so he is.” Branson could tell that she was playing it up to change the subject.
“I’m right here, Aideen,” Collin weighed in. The first words he’d spoken since Liam and Branson arrived. “You’re not supposed to be panting over another guy when your husband is in the room.”
“Collin Sullivan.” She smacked his shoulder. “I was not panting. I remarked that the young man was attractive.”
“You were panting,” Collin mumbled under his breath.
“What was that now?” Aideen looked stern, but Branson could tell she was still playing.
Collin looked up from the table. “I said, ‘yes, dear.’” And he looked back to the newspaper.
“As well you should.” Aideen looked smug and handed another biscuit to Branson. “Eat, young man. You’re too skinny.”
Branson chuckled and bit into his second biscuit. His first one was long gone.
B
RANSON
DRIED
the dishes for Aideen, and Liam put them away, since Branson hadn’t a clue where they went anyway. After the kitchen was spotless, Liam asked what else they could do to help.
“I could really do with a grocery run,” she said. “With so much time spent at the hospital the last week, I hardly have anything fresh on hand.”
“Okay,” Liam agreed. “Do you want us to go? Or would you like us to stay here and let you get out of the house?”
“I’m still right here, you know.” Liam’s dad was apparently getting ticked at all the attention.
“We know, Da.” Liam smacked him on the shoulder. “But let us look out for you a bit, okay?”
“I’m not an invalid,” Collin mumbled.
“We know you aren’t. But you scared us, Da. Just take it easy for a little while longer, all right?”
Collin didn’t answer but apparently agreed, if only grudgingly, because he turned back to his paper.
Liam
L
IAM
HADN
’
T
really known what to make of his conversation with Branson that morning. He certainly hadn’t meant to control the situation unduly, but he was serious when he had told Branson he was scared. Branson was the best thing that had ever happened to Liam, and he didn’t want to blow it. But he also found, now that he had permission to touch as often as he’d like, he was having an awful time not touching Branson every time he was anywhere close to him.