Forbidden (4 page)

“It’s been a long time since you started working the program. Half a dozen years or more, right?” J.T. asked. “You ever tempted to go back?”

“No, hell no! Even if I was, I’d just have to think of Hannah to quash the urge.”

“That’s what I thought.” J.T. rubbed his bristly cheek. “I drank a lot when I bought Jimmy’s. Partying is part of the lifestyle on the circuit. Then Nikki and I were going through a hard time, and I lost my brother.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah, it was a hell of a time. I couldn’t get through the day without a drink. My family worried that I needed help. Maybe I did.”

“But eventually you got it together.”

“Yeah, I did. One day at a time, as they say. If I could get through the thick of my battle with my poison of choice on every shelf, it shouldn’t be a problem for you with years under your belt.”

“I guess not.” Alcohol wasn’t really Lee’s biggest concern. Stepping out of his comfort zone and taking a risk was the bigger issue.

“Alcohol wasn’t your real nemesis anyway, was it?”

“I have an addictive personality, bottom line.” Lee drank more than he should have back in the day, but he could have taken or left the alcohol. It was cocaine that called to him every day and night. “Indulging, even socially, just isn’t something I do well.”

“So you decided to avoid it altogether? I respect that.”

“Thanks.” Lee shifted in his chair. He’d never felt comfortable with praise.

“Listen, I’m not sellin’ this place because I need the money. If I find the right buyer, I’ll even consider no money down, a favorable interest rate, and generous repayment term. Not that I think you would need long to pay off the loan. Jimmy’s is profitable. Very profitable.”

“Why would you do that? I mean, why not just sell to the highest bidder?”

J.T. chuckled. “A smart businessman might do that, but like Jimmy, I think I’m a bit of a sentimental fool. I love this place. I love the patrons, the talent, the atmosphere, every damn thing about it.” He cleared his throat. “This is a hell of a lot more than a business to me. It represents the life I built. Second chances. Something I take pride in.”

“What makes you think I’m the right man to fill your shoes?”

“I just told you. Second chances. Re-building a broken life. You know a thing or two about that, don’t you?”

“I guess I do,” Lee said, lowering his head.

“I know you’ve had a rougher road than I have, kid. I had my parents and brothers. No matter how bad things got, we were always there for each other.”

Lee said, “Drake did what anyone would have after what I did to him… and Cassidy. Hell, I’m surprised they’re still speaking to me.”

“Cassidy has the biggest heart of just about anyone I know,” J.T. said, smiling. “I don’t doubt she’s moved past what happened, and I know she was a big part of the reason your brother did the same.”

That J.T. knew his deepest and darkest secrets made Lee’s skin crawl, but there was also something liberating in knowing J.T. still believed he was worthy of taking over his business. “I’m grateful for that.”

“I know you are. Speakin’ of your brother, Tucker tells me you’re considering a job offer he made you.” J.T. grinned. “That’s why I thought I’d best not waste any time makin’ my pitch.”

“This is all happening so fast,” Lee said, swiping a hand over his face. “A couple of days ago, I was trying to figure out if I was gonna have enough work to get through the year. Now I have two great offers on the table, and I don’t know what the hell I’m gonna do.”

“I know you don’t wanna disappoint your brother,” J.T. said. “You sure as hell don’t have to worry about disappointing me. You’re the one who has to decide what’s right for you. I just wanted you to know I think you’re the best man for
this
job.”

“Thanks, J.T.,” Lee said, standing to shake J.T.’s hand. “That means a lot coming from you.”

“Why don’t I send you the paperwork? The bar was appraised not that long ago. It’ll give you an idea of what it’s worth. Whenever you wanna take a look at the books, or get your accountant to, just say the word.”

“Thanks, I appreciate that.” Lee didn’t know if it would get that far, but he had to consider all of his options. “I’ll let you know just as soon as I figure out what I’m gonna do.”

“Hey, I’m in no hurry. Nik knows I need to find the right person. As long as it takes. I can’t just hand this place over to anyone, now can I?” he asked, grinning.

“No, I guess you can’t.” Lee made his way toward the door. As he gripped the knob, the only thought running through his mind was,
I hope they’re right to have so much faith in me.

***

Lee was just stepping out of the shower when he heard his cell phone ring. He’d left it on the bathroom counter, so he glanced at it while he toweled off.
Donato.
“Hey, kid, what’s up?”

“It’s been a tough day.”

Lee forgot his problems in an instant as his heart battered his chest. “Where are you?”

“Downstairs.”

“Use the swipe card I gave you to get into the building. I’m gonna throw some sweats on, but the door’s unlocked.”

“Thanks, man.”

Pulling his sweats on in record time, Lee was across the small apartment and standing in the living room by the time Donato turned the doorknob. “You look worse than I feel,” Lee said when he saw Donato’s troubled face.

“Had a run in with my boss,” he muttered, closing the door and dropping his backpack with a heavy sigh. “I had to stay after class to talk to one of my professors, and the boss man got pissed ‘cause I was ten minutes late again.”

Lee knew the owner of the little Italian restaurant where Donato had been waiting tables for the past two months. He was an ornery old man who believed his way was the only way. “You want me to talk to him for you?” It wasn’t his job to run interference, but Donato had never had anyone to watch his back.

“Nah, I can handle him.” Donato shrugged. “I’ve run into guys like him before.”

“You want water?” Lee asked, heading for the kitchen. “Or how about dinner? Have you eaten?”

“I’m okay.”

Lee knew that meant he hadn’t had the time or money to eat, but Donato was too proud to ask for a handout. “Let’s see what I’ve got in here.” Lee was grateful he’d remembered to hit the grocery store yesterday. “Roast beef sandwich sound okay?”

“Sure, if you’re havin’ one.”

“Your shift wasn’t supposed to end until ten, was it?” Lee asked as he set about making two sandwiches. He hoped Donato hadn’t lost his temper and gotten fired. He needed that job to keep a roof over his head, though the bachelor pad he rented in a rundown building on the seedy side of town could barely be considered a home.

“We were slow, so the old man sent me home early.” He leaned against the counter and crossed one leg over the other. “He just sent me home early to punish me for being late. He knows how much I need the money. Asshole.”

Lee couldn’t disagree. Guys like Donato’s boss got off on using their authority on people they assumed wouldn’t or couldn’t push back. Unfortunately, with Donato’s criminal record for possession, he didn’t have a lot of prospects. “Things will get better. It’s just gonna take some time.” Lee opened a bag of barbeque chips and dumped it into a glass bowl before handing his guest a plate. “Snag a couple of bottles of water out of the fridge on your way in, would you?”

“Sure.”

Lee set the food down on the coffee table before sitting on the small sofa. He hated his utilitarian furniture. He’d picked a furnished apartment because he didn’t have time to waste furniture shopping and he didn’t want to sit on the floor for months while he waited for new furniture to arrive. Donato sank down in the firm chair beside Lee and dove into his sandwich as though he hadn’t eaten in a week.

When he came up for air, Donato smiled and said, “I guess I was hungrier than I thought. Thanks for the grub.”

“No problem.”

Lee hated to think of Donato struggling to get by with no one but his sponsor in his corner. He deserved to have someone give him a break and see him for what he was: a great kid who’d had lousy luck in the parent department and, as a result, fell in with the wrong crowd.

“If you’re tired, you can crash here tonight,” Lee said.

“Thanks, but the last time I slept on Hannah’s little bed, I had a pain in my neck for a week.”

Lee smiled. It wouldn’t be long before his princess started pestering him for a big girl bed complete with a pink canopy like she had at home. “So, what happened besides the run-in with your boss? And don’t tell me ‘nothing’. We both know what happens when you let things eat away at you.”

“I didn’t do too well on an exam I thought I’d aced. That’s why I stayed behind to talk to my prof, see if there was anything I could do about it.”

“What’d he say?”

Rolling his eyes, Donato said, “What do you think he said? Man, nobody’s gonna cut a guy like me a break.”

Lee wanted to argue, but Donato was right. “So you just need to work that much harder to ace the next one.”

With a heavy sigh, Donato reached for a handful of chips. “I guess.”

“I should’ve told you to wash your hands first,” Lee said with a smirk, trying to lighten the mood.

Donato chuckled. “Nobody’s told me what to do for as long as I can remember.”

“You ever wish you had somebody who cared enough to tell you what to do?” Lee asked, sitting back and stretching an arm across the back of the sofa. “Or what not to do?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

Lee had wanted direction as a kid. His grandparents showered him and Drake with love, but they hadn’t anticipated spending their golden years raising two head-strong boys. Instead of taking a hard line, they often let the twins have free rein.

“We all wanna know someone cares.” Lee waited until he had Donato’s undivided attention. “Someone does care about you, you know. I care.”

Donato didn’t respond at first. Eventually, he said, “You got your own problems. I shouldn’t be dumpin’ my—”

“Yeah, you should,” Lee said. “That’s why the program works, because we talk to our sponsors instead of turning to drugs.”

“I know.” He looked at the floor. “I walked around a while before I came here, fighting with myself about what I should do.”

“Does that mean you were tempted?”

“I don’t know… maybe.”

“It’s okay to admit it,” Lee said, thinking about all the times his sponsor had said those words to him. “Being tempted doesn’t make you weak. Giving in to the temptation, that’s what breaks you, kid.”

“I know.” Donato tipped his head back against the chair and closed his eyes. “When does it start getting easier? I mean, when do you stop wanting that shit?”

Lee wished he could promise him the urge would go away, but some people wrestled with it for the rest of their lives. “It’s different for everyone.”

“Do you still want it?” he asked, opening one eye to look at Lee. “Do you still think about it when you’ve had a bad day?”

“No. I won’t deny that I sometimes remember how getting high felt, that euphoria when nothing else mattered, but with that comes the memory of what that stuff cost me. I wouldn’t go back for anything.”

“I wish I could say the same,” Donato said.

“You just need to take it one day at a time. Today you did the right thing. You came to me to talk about your problems.”

“I guess,” he said, slipping his sneakers off with a yawn.

“You’ve got a bright future. You can do anything you want to if you stay in school and away from those kids you used to hang with.”

“Don’t worry, I hear ya.”

“Take my bed.” Knowing how vulnerable Donato was, Lee’s conscience wouldn’t let him send the kid home. “I’ll crash on the couch tonight.”

“I can’t let you do that.” Donato reached for his shoes. “I’m okay, really. I’ll just go home and—”

“No, you won’t,” Lee said in a tone that brooked no argument. “I’ve got a lot on my mind. I doubt I’ll be able to sleep anyhow.”

“Might help to talk about it,” Donato said with a grin, tossing Lee’s favorite line back at him. “I’m a pretty good listener.”

The kid’s growing up.
Lee felt a sense of pride. A year ago, Donato wouldn’t have cared enough to ask about anyone else’s problems. Lee thought it might help their relationship if Donato believed that Lee saw him as an equal, someone he could confide in. “My brother offered me a job at his studio.”

“Cool. You gonna take it?”

“I don’t know yet.” Lee laced his hands behind his head. “I got another offer too.”

“From another studio?”

“No, it’s a different kind of offer.” Lee chuckled. “A buddy of mine is selling his bar, and he thinks I might be the right guy to take over.”

“Seriously?” Donato looked surprised. “You know anything about running a bar?”

“No, but according to him, he didn’t know anything about it when he took over either.”

“Huh, so what’re you gonna do?”

“I don’t know. I don’t want to disappoint my brother but—”

“You gotta do what makes you happy.”

Donato was parroting him. Lee had told him the same thing at least a dozen times. Stay focused on making himself happy. Let his inner voice guide him and forget what everyone else thought was right or wrong. He hadn’t expected that advice to come back and bite him. “I know. You’re right.”

“So… what would make you happy?”

Lee gave the question the consideration it deserved. “Music makes me happy. That’s all I know.”

“How many times you told me you like bein’ your own boss? You really wanna go back to letting your brother call the shots?”

The kid had a point. “It’s taken Drake and me a long time to get to the point where he would trust me enough to offer me a job. I can’t dismiss it without giving it serious consideration.”

“I guess you’re right,” Donato said, standing. “Just remember what you’re always tellin’ me… It’s your life, man.”

Indie was sneaking bites of a blueberry muffin the next morning when her nemesis walked in. She tried to ignore Lee, but when he leaned against her desk, she said, “Can I help you?”