Authors: Cheryl Douglas
“I don’t think anything can excuse what you did,” she said, lifting her chin as she glared into his eyes. She expected to see anger, not sadness.
“You’re right.”
“You don’t deserve Cassidy’s forgiveness, or your brother’s.”
“Right again.”
Indie wanted to scream. He wasn’t supposed to agree with her. He was supposed to get mad, to tell her to mind her own damned business.
“If a man ever takes advantage of my daughter the way I took advantage of Cassidy, I’ll kill him with my bare hands.” Lee released a shaky breath. “It doesn’t change anything, but I wrestle with the guilt every day. I want to be a better man, but—”
“Is that why you’re working with Donato?” she asked. “Because you’re trying to prove that you’re a better man?”
“No, I’m working with Donato because he needs someone to believe in him, just like I did. Just like you do.”
She hated that he thought he knew her. “I think you’re doing it for repentance. You think if you do enough good deeds, they might erase all of the bad things you’ve done.”
“Nothing can erase the past,” he whispered. He looked into her eyes with such intensity, she felt compelled to look away. “Yours, or mine. Nothing can erase the memory of the hurt I’ve inflicted or the hurt you’ve endured.”
“How do you know someone hurt me?” She was almost afraid to ask.
“I hear it in every word you speak. When a man gets too close to you, you step back. When someone raises their voice unexpectedly or drops something, you cringe. You’ve suffered some kind of trauma, something that has you running scared.”
“I’m not afraid.” She squared her shoulders. “And I’m not running away from anything.”
Just because she always slept with her windows locked and double-bolted the door as soon as she walked in didn’t mean she was afraid. Just because she refused to take the garbage out at night or order food for delivery didn’t mean she was letting terror dictate her life. She’d listened to dozens of strangers share their stories. Some of them were attacked by delivery men, strangers on jogging trails, dates, even men they’d known forever. Sometimes the devil wore a mask; other times he wore a smile and carried a single red rose.
“I’m not here to push,” he said. “Just know that if you ever want to talk about it, I’m a pretty good listener.”
“Are you insane?” she practically shrieked. “You’re the last person I’d ever confide in. Just stay the hell away from me.”
***
Lee watched Indie run up the path, past Chris, and into the house. No doubt she was planning to grab her purse and keys so she could run back to the safety of her cozy apartment. It killed him to see how scared she was. No one deserved to live in fear. He wanted to protect her, and he had no idea why. She obviously despised him, but he understood the reason behind her resentment, and at least it made sense. She was trying to protect her friend because no one had been there to protect her.
“What the hell did you say to her?” Chris asked, watching Indie slip through the patio door into the house.
“I don’t know.” Lee watched the windows, hoping to catch a glimpse of Indie. He couldn’t go after her, but he wanted to know she was okay. If he thought she would accept, he’d offer to drive her home.
“You guys ever”—Chris winked—“you know, hooked up?”
“No.” Lee chuckled. “Hell, no. The girl can’t stand me.”
“I noticed that.” Chris laughed. “I thought that was the reason, that maybe y’all hooked up and she was hoping it would evolve into a relationship or something.”
“No, nothing like that. Indie just doesn’t like me. You know how it is; some people you connect with, others you don’t.” Lee had been too ashamed to tell Chris about what had happened with Cassidy. He didn’t want to lose his best friend’s respect, and he feared telling him that story might cost him even more than that.
“Yeah, but…”
“But what?” Lee tried to tear his gaze away from the window. People were crowding around, talking and laughing, but Indie wasn’t among them.
“I saw the way you looked at her. You can’t deny you’re into her.”
Lee couldn’t imagine any man denying Indie. She had long, dark, silky hair, golden skin, and curves in all the right places. But those wide dark eyes got to him. They told him secrets he knew she had no intention of revealing. Lee couldn’t think of a woman more unattainable than the one who’d just run away from him. “Doesn’t matter how I feel. She’s not into me.”
“Ironic, isn’t it?” Chris smirked. “I’ve seen you go through a lot of women. You finally meet one who does it for you, and she doesn’t want anything to do with you.”
“Yeah, I guess I’m getting what I deserve.”
“No, you’re not,” Chris said, losing the smile. “You deserve to find a good girl. Someone who loves you, who’ll be there for you, the way Katie is for me.”
“Congratulations on your engagement, by the way. I’m happy for you two.” Katie had been the one to tell Lee about their engagement. She didn’t want him to hear it from their daughter.
“Thanks, man,” Chris said, sitting on the chair Indie had vacated. “You don’t know how much it means to us to have your support. So listen, I have something to ask you. If it’s weird, just say so…” Chris locked his hands in front of him.
“Just say it.” Lee chuckled. He had some idea of what his friend was about to ask, and he knew what his answer would be.
“You’ve been my best friend for as long as I can remember,” Chris said, lifting his head to look in Lee’s eyes. “We went our separate ways for a while, but you’ve always had my back.”
“And I always will.”
“I’ve got brothers, but you and I have been through so much together.” He took a deep breath. “I love you, Katie loves you, and I think it would be good for Hannah to see us all standing together when her mama and I take our vows. I want her to know that you’re okay with us bein’ together.”
“I’ve told her I am.”
“I know. Lee, I want you to be my best man.” The silence stretched on before Chris said, “If you don’t think you can be, I’ll understand. Believe me, it won’t change a damn thing between us. It’s asking a lot, I know—”
“I’d be honored.”
“Really?” Chris sounded surprised. “You mean it?”
“I mean it.” Lee extended his hand. “Thank you for asking me.”
“Thank you,” Chris said, rising to pull him into a hug.
“Um, I’m sorry to interrupt,” Cassidy said, walking down the stone path. “Indie’s car won’t start, and I was wondering whether you’d be willing to drive her home, Lee? You pass right by there.”
“Are you sure she’d be okay with that?” He’d like nothing more than to get some alone time with Indie, but he wouldn’t force it on her, nor would he let Cassidy make her feel cornered.
“She said she wouldn’t mind,” Cassidy said.
“Okay.” Lee slung the guitar strap over his arm. “I guess I’ll make my way inside to say good-bye then. I’ll catch up with you later, Chris.” He bent to kiss Cassidy’s cheek. “Thanks for the party and the guitar. It’s amazing.”
“Thank you for making my husband so happy,” Cassidy said, touching Lee’s cheek. “Do me a favor? Take good care of Indie, okay? She’s a little skittish.”
“You can count on it,” Lee said with a smile. He hadn’t felt the desire to take care of a woman in a long time and it felt good to know someone could rouse those protective instincts in him.
Lee quickly said his good-byes, fearing Indie might ditch her heels and walk home if she over-thought the possibility of being stuck in the cab of his truck with him. Thankfully, when he got to the driveway, she perched on the hood of her compact car with a sullen expression.
“I hear you got car problems,” he said, placing his guitar case in the backseat of his truck. “Cassidy said you wouldn’t mind catching a ride with me.”
“I told her I wouldn’t.” Indie twisted her lips as if she’d just taken a bite out of a lime. “I didn’t want her to worry about how I’d get home, but I was thinking maybe I should call a cab.”
“Why? Cassidy said I pass right by your place on my way home.” He opened the passenger door of his truck. “Come on, hop in. Save yourself the cab fare.”
“Fine.” She ignored the hand he offered and gingerly placed a high heel on the running board, offering him an impressive view of her backside.
Closing the door once she was safely inside, Lee warned himself to back off. She wasn’t like most of the girls he met. She wasn’t looking for a good time; she didn’t want to date him. She just needed a ride home. He got in, started the engine, and fastened his seat belt before he reached for the dial to turn down the radio.
“Don’t, I love this song,” she said, touching his forearm. She withdrew her hand quickly when she gave him a shock. “Sorry.” She placed her hands back in her lap.
“I’ve heard of two people having chemistry, but I think that qualifies as electricity,” he joked, hoping to make her smile.
“We don’t have chemistry,” she said firmly.
She was still wearing his jacket, but she’d rolled it back once at the cuff. It still swallowed her though. She’d stormed off in such a hurry she’d no doubt forgotten to give it back.
“If you say so.” He manoeuvred around a parked car so he could drive through the iron gates at the end of the circular drive.
“Even if we did, which we don’t, I don’t date.”
“Never?” He shot her a sidelong glance, and the stubborn set of her chin hit him hard.
She tried so hard to be brave, but lurking beneath the surface was a young woman who needed someone to hold her and tell her that everything would be fine.
“Never.”
“But you’re gorgeous.” He hadn’t intended to blurt that out, and he was sorry he had when she scowled.
“No, I’m not.”
He couldn’t help but wonder if she owned a mirror. Surely a woman couldn’t look at that reflection every day and deny the obvious. “I beg to differ.”
“If you’re trying to get on my good side with compliments, it won’t work.”
“I wasn’t aware you had a good side.” Her lips twitched, making him smile. “Hot damn, I did it. I made you smile.”
“No, you didn’t,” she said, crossing her arms.
“Yes, I did.” When he pulled up to a stop light, he poked her in the ribs, hoping he’d find a ticklish spot. When she screamed and backed against the door, he cursed his stupidity and pulled over into an empty parking lot. “Jesus, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I was just—”
“Forget it.” She covered her face with her hands. “Just take me home, please.”
“What did he do to you?” he whispered. He tightened his grip on the steering wheel when she started to cry. “Tell me.”
“I can’t.”
“Yes, you can.” He wanted to pull her into his arms, but he knew that wasn’t an option. She needed comfort, and he wanted to be the man to give it to her. The only thing standing in their way was Indie’s fear and pride.
“No, I can’t.” She put her fist over her mouth. “I don’t know what you hope to gain from this. I told you I don’t date.”
“What makes you think I want to date you?” He shifted in his seat to look at her.
A vision flashed through his mind: Indie with her hair upswept, wearing a soft velvet dress and high heels, smiling at him with candlelight flickering between them. He’d never been a romantic or had the desire to wine and dine a woman, but Indie made him rethink his relationship strategy.
“Of course you don’t want to date me,” she said, her face twisting with bitterness. “Why would you? I’ve seen those Barbie dolls you’ve brought by the studio. I’m nothing like them.”
“No, you’re not.” That was the highest compliment he could pay her. “You’re real. You try so hard to appear strong, but you’re soft and vulnerable.”
“You don’t know me at all.” She refused to look at him.
Refusing to be deterred, he continued, “You just want someone to love you, to make you feel safe, to tell you that you didn’t deserve whatever happened to you.” He watched her swallow convulsively, and his heart broke as he watched her try to will her tears away. “It’s okay to cry, to let me hold you.”
“No.” She turned her back to him. “Don’t touch me.”
He didn’t, but he did inch closer and let his breath fan her cheek. “I think you feel something for me, and that scares you.”
“You scare me,” she said, pressing a fingertip against the glass. “I know what you’re capable of.”
“I don’t believe that. If you were really afraid of me, afraid I’d try to hurt you, you would never have agreed to let me drive you home. I think you’re here because you want to be with me as much as I want to be here with you.”
“You’re wrong,” she whispered.
“Am I?”
“Yes.”
Lee swept her hair aside, half-expecting her to backhand him. “When was the last time you let a man touch you? Kiss you?” He swiped his index finger across her cheek.
“That’s none of your business.”
He may have believed her if not for the fact that her eyes drifted closed as soon as his skin connected with hers. “Was it before the attack?” He knew someone had hurt her, and when they did, they stole her innocence, her sense of identity, and safety.
“How…?”
“I recognize broken.” He brushed his lips across her cheek. “I also recognize when someone needs to be held. Will you let me… put my arms around you? That’s all I want, just to hold you.”
Her hand closed into a fist against the window, and he knew she was struggling to answer him. He couldn’t touch her until she was willing to let him. Earning the trust of a woman like Indie would be an uphill battle, but he couldn’t think of a feat he’d ever wanted to accomplish more.
Indie wanted to scream and cry. She wanted to jump out of his truck and run fast and far, but more than that, she wanted to lean back into his arms and believe that Lee just wanted to protect her.
“It’s okay,” he whispered. “I promise it’ll be okay, Indie.”
Those words should have been a trigger. She’d heard them before, spoken in the midst of a drunken stupor by a man she thought she could trust. Men like Lee made mistakes and begged forgiveness when it was too late to undo the damage, so why was she considering letting her guard down? “Why should I trust you?”