Forever Altered (12 page)

“My
mom is pretty cool.  We’ve always been really close.  She’s actually
excited to meet you.  She asked about bringing you by the house this
Sunday to meet her and my stepdad, but that was before I knew that we were
helping Leah.”  I’m not sure how much is too much to tell her.  The
look on her face frightens me.  “What?”

“You
told your mom about me?”  Was I not supposed to?  She is looking over
my shoulder again.  I cannot quite bring myself to turn to see what she is
looking at, but the curiosity is driving me crazy. 

“I
did.  Was that wrong?”  The waitress returns with our drinks and
takes our order.

“No
it wasn’t wrong.  It’s just…”   She doesn’t finish what she was
saying until I ask her to.  “I’m a little nervous to meet her.  I’m
afraid she won’t like me.”

“How
can anyone not like you?”  I’m truly confused. 

“You’d
be surprised.”  She is glancing over my shoulder again and this time my
head involuntarily turns around.  I don’t see anything that would make her
so interested to keep looking over there.  “I’m sorry.”  She realizes
that I noticed she is distracted.  “Look at that elderly couple over
there.”  She nods her head in the direction over my right shoulder across
the room.  This time, I notice them two booths back.  It’s easy for
us to see them because their table is slightly angled toward ours.  I turn
back unsure of why they are so fascinating to her.  She continues without
me asking this time.  “They are the cutest couple in the whole entire
world.”  Her eyes glass over, but she’s still smiling.  “Who knows
how long they’ve been together, but look at how they still look at each
other.  The wife set out her husband’s napkin and silverware, then put his
straw in his drink for him.  Not because it was expected of her,
either.  She’s taking care of him.  I’m not sure what’s wrong with
him, but something definitely is.  His hands are very shaky.  I could
tell when he reached out and touched her on the arm after she helped him. 
The smile she gave him was so adorable.  They’d obviously do anything for
each other.  It’s so sweet to see how that kind of love still exists in
this crazy, messed up world.”  A tear starts to run down her face, but she
catches it.  How did she manage to gather all that information about them
in such a short amount of time?  “I’m sorry,” she says again wiping her
eyes on her napkin.  “When people ask me what I want out of life, what
they have,” she points to them again, “is exactly what I think of.  I
never say that because people would think I’m crazy.  They want to hear
about what I want to do for a living and wonder how much money I’d make. 
But that right there,” she shakes her head, “is happiness in its greatest
form.”

“Why
do you think people would think you’re crazy?  Wanting to be loved and
loving someone that way is anything but crazy.” 

“It
just seems like people tend to define their happiness by how much money they
make or the things they own.  They forget about having loved ones by your side
to make anything you do worthwhile.”  She watches them for a few more
moments before turning back to me.  “Anyway, back to your mom.  You
think she’ll like me?”

“I
know she’ll love you.”  Smiling at her makes her smile too.

“Hope
so.  Is she mad we already had plans for Sunday?”    

The
waitress places our food on the table and I stop her before she can walk
away.  “The elderly couple over there?”  I indicate the table I’m
talking about and she nods.  I can feel Alyssa staring at me, but I don’t
turn to look at her.  “Please put their meal on my bill.” 

“Yes,
sir,” she says a little confused.  “I’ll let their waitress know.”

“Thank
you,” I tell her. 

“What
did you do that for?” she asks.

“Just
because,” is all I say to her about it.  “No, my mom isn’t mad.  She
isn’t like that, but she is excited to meet the girl I’m dating.  She’s
also a little fascinated I’m willing to help out your friend.”  That gets
a chuckle out of her.

“I
don’t see why that would fascinate her at all.  You’ve been nothing but a
sweet, caring, kind gentleman since sitting next to me in lab last week. 
She has obviously done a great job raising you.”

“Gentleman? 
Wow.  My mother wouldn’t believe that.  She knows the kind of guy I
was before meeting you and she wasn’t the least bit happy about it,
either.”  No point in lying about it.  “I am going to try my best to
be the kind of person you think I am, though.”

“I
don’t want you to change for me.”  She stopped eating and was staring at
me.  “Okay, that’s not entirely true.  I’d definitely have a problem
with you sleeping with someone else, but I don’t want you to change who you are
because of who you think I want you to be.  I’m liking you just the way
you are right now.”

“You’d
have a problem with me sleeping with
someone else
?  Are you telling
me that you want me to sleep with you?”  It makes her blush.  Her
head immediately falls and I cannot help but laugh at her.  “I’m seriously
just teasing you.  Well, kind of.”  This time her hands go to her
head, so she is covering her face.  I reach over and pull her arms
down.  When she picks up her head, the frown on her face causes my
laughter to subside. 

“Your
mother.  Go back to talking about your mother,” she says through closed
teeth. 

I
laugh again before continuing.  “My parents married after they found out
my mom was pregnant with me.  It only lasted two years.  They got
along just fine as long as they didn’t live together.  When I was four, my
mom married my stepfather.  He’s a nice guy.”  I shrug my shoulders
looking down at my plate.  “They never had any more children.  He’s
not really dad-material, if you know what I mean.  I think that bothered
my mom.  She absolutely adores kids, but he’s the kind of guy you were
talking about earlier.  His job is very important to him.  He’s an
executive for a financial
company.  They
have a huge house, a few cars, go on a few vacations a year, but he works too
much.  My mom is alone a lot and I hate that.  She keeps busy with
friends and this charity she hosts every year.  The families of the fallen
police officers we help out love her for everything she does for them, so it’s
worth it to her.  She says she’d never be able to get that type of
satisfaction from any paying job out there.”

“I’m
sure it’s very rewarding,” she says.

“Yeah. 
Some of those kids are pretty awesome.  There are these twins that we are
pretty close to.  My mom helps their mom out all the time.  She has
no family left.  Her husband has been gone for a few years.”  Alyssa
is starting to get a little upset about the conversation.  “So, your
turn.  Tell me something that I don’t know about you.”

She’s
trying to think of something to tell me.  “There really isn’t much to
tell.  You know about my family.  My mom took off.  Dad raised
me along with the help of my aunt and uncle.  He and Jill married a few
years ago.  That’s about it.”

“Your
aunt and uncle?” 

A
sad look crosses her face.  “My uncle, my dad’s only sibling, and my aunt
uprooted their lives to move near us after my mom took off.  My aunt quit
her job to take care of me while my dad went to work.  She didn’t want my
dad putting me in daycare.  We were all very close.  About nine
months ago, they were coming home from a long weekend away.  It was a
drunk driver.  They both died instantly.”  Her eyes have filled with
tears again and she is taking a deep breath to get herself under control. 
My hand covers hers.  She opens her eyes when she knows she won’t cry.

“I’m
so sorry.”  What else could I possibly say?

“Me,
too,” she says and then is quiet for a minute longer.  “What is your
major, anyway?  I guess it’s pretty crappy of me not to know that.”

“No
it’s not.  We’ve only known each other a week.  Like you said, there
is plenty of time to get to know each other.”  She smiles up at me, but
she is playing nervously with the green napkin which is now sitting on the
table next to her plate.  “Forensic Science.”  I take the last bit of
my chicken.

“Forensic
Science?”  I acknowledge her question.  “Like
CSI
?” 

I
laugh a little and nod at her again.  “Yes, kind of like that.  My
mom didn’t want me to be a cop, obviously.  This is my way around
it.  Of course, my stepdad wants me to follow after him and head into the
financial world.  Sitting behind a desk or in board meetings at all hours
of the day isn’t my thing.” 

“I
learned
a lot about you tonight, Rocco Matthews.” 

“Yes,
you have.  And you didn’t even run out of here screaming.  That’s a
good sign.”

“No. 
I don’t plan on it either.”  Hearing that makes me feel pretty
awesome. 

“Ready
to head back?”  She nods her head and we stand to leave. 

Another
waitress comes over to us.  “The couple whose bill you paid would like to
say thank you, if you don’t mind.” 

“Not
at all.”  We walk over to the table and the woman looks up at me. 

“Are
you the kind, young man who paid for us to eat tonight?” the woman asks
me.  Her hair is almost pure white, like a puffy cloud on a beautiful
sunny day. 

“I
am.  I hope you enjoyed it.”

“We
truly appreciate what you did, but if you don’t mind, could you please tell me
why you did?”  My gaze shifts quickly to her husband.  Alyssa was
right.  It does look like he isn’t in the best of health.  When I
look back to the lady, she is waiting for me to answer.  I really hadn’t
planned on telling Alyssa why I did it, but now I don’t have a choice.  In
all honesty, I’d like for this lady to know.

“Well
ma’am, you and your husband have managed to restore my new girlfriend’s faith
in love in a matter of a few minutes.  I could really never repay you for
that.”  I know Alyssa is looking at me and I see the lady in front of me
shift her eyes to her. 

She
smiles at Alyssa and reaches over to take her hand before speaking. 
“Sweetheart, it’s still out there.  You just have to find the one person
who makes you feel it.”

Alyssa
puts her other hand on top of the lady’s small, fragile, wrinkled hand. 
“I think I might have, but don’t tell him that.  It will go right to his
head.”  I start to chuckle next to her.  “May I ask, how long you
have been married?”

Her
husband speaks up before she does.  “Fifty seven years last month.” 
Alyssa is watching the two of them as they hold hands across the table and
stare at each other for a few moments. 

The
wife turns back to Alyssa.  “Whatever happened to you before, dear, don’t
ever let it hold you back when you find the right one.  You’ll know, trust
me.”  She stands up and gives Alyssa a hug. 

“Thank
you.  Enjoy the rest of your night,” she says to the two of them before
looking up at me. 

“You’re
very welcome.  Thank you again, young man.  Please, take care of this
beautiful girl you have.”

“My
pleasure.  I definitely intend to,” I assure her and take my girl by the
hand leaving the restaurant. 

When
we get out to my car, she quietly waits for me to open the door for her. 
Once I do, she doesn’t climb in right away.  Instead, she turns to me
putting her hands on my chest.  “You are truly the sweetest guy
ever.  I’m not sure why you chose me, but I’m so glad you did.  I’m
the luckiest girl in the whole entire world!”

My
mind cannot think of an appropriate response to answer her.  She has no
idea the lucky one here is me.  The only thing I’m able to do right now is
exactly what she deserves.  I kiss her like she is the only girl in this
crazy, messed up world.

Alyssa

After
closing the door for me, Rocco practically runs around the front of the car to
get in the driver’s seat.  As soon as he slides in, he leans over touching
my cheek with his lips leaving the same blazing sensation that is still
lingering on my lips from his last kiss.  My eyes close.  My breath
catches.  It has been entirely too long since feeling like this.  I’m
trying to remember why I promised myself to refrain from sleeping with Rocco
for now.  It had something to do with not wanting to be like all the other
girls he’s been with.  Stupid, slutty girls.  My breath releases and
he pulls away from me.  He’s shaking his head.

“What?”
I ask him.

“You’re
very lucky I think so highly of you,” he says backing out of the parking
space.   

“What
do you mean by that?”  The question flies out of my mouth before thinking
about if I really want to know the answer or not.

Rocco
doesn’t answer right away.  He’s trying to make a left out of the parking
lot on a very busy multilane road.  Eventually there is an opening and he
pulls out safely.  “What I mean by that is, it’s taking every ounce of
self-control I have not to throw you in my back seat.  Unfortunately for
me right now,” he glances over to me then quickly back to the road, “you
deserve so much better than that.”  The fit of laughter that bursts from
me is completely involuntary.  He’s looking over to me again.  “What
the hell is so funny about that?”

Once
I’m finally able to gain control of my laughter, I dry my eyes on the sleeves
of my dark gray pea coat and look over to him.  “I’m sorry.  I didn’t
mean to laugh.”  I almost lose it again at the expression on his
face.  “It’s just that I am now thoroughly convinced you have the ability
to read my mind.”

“You
were thinking about me throwing you in my back seat?”  There is that
mischievous sexy grin.

“No,”
I answer all too quickly.  He laughs.  “I was thinking how I don’t
want to be like any of the other girls you’ve been with.”  My tone is
serious causing him to change his immediately.

“Alyssa,”
he starts talking as he’s reaching for my hand.  I simply slide my hand
into his like it belongs there.  He brings my hand up to his lips. 
“You are nothing like any other girl in the world, let alone anyone I’ve ever
been with.  Don’t you see?  You’re the only girl that has ever meant
anything to me.  The only one who will ever mean anything to
me.
”  His lips touch my fingers that have become
entwined with his.  “And like I said.  You deserve better than being
crammed into the back seat of a car.”

“You
mean you don’t want to expose your
car
to a girl being in your back
seat.”  I try to tease him, but all I did was encourage him to mortify me
again.

Rocco
starts chuckling because he knows exactly what he’s going to say and exactly
how I’m going to react.  “Absolutely not.  Sunshine, you are worthy
of nothing less than being spread out on the finest sheets money can buy in my
bed where I can worship every part of your perfect body before…” 
Extremely thankful for the darkness in the car, I tear my hand away that he was
still holding to cover my ears and as much of my face as I possibly can. 
His chuckling has grown into roaring laughter.  “You’re so
friggin
adorable,” he manages to get out.

“I
need to learn to keep my big mouth shut,” I say out loud instead of to myself.

He laughs
again.  “It’s ridiculously cute how you get so embarrassed whenever
someone mentions anything about…” I almost break my neck turning it so fast to
shoot him the nastiest look I can pull off.  “Okay.  I’ll stop. 
But seriously, when the time comes, everything about it will be absolutely
perfect.  Like nothing else either one of us has ever experienced
before.”  Suddenly, the feeling running through me has nothing at all to
do with embarrassment.

“You’ve
thought about it?”  The hard look falls from my face.  I’m stunned at
how it sounded like he was so sure of himself. 

“Not
only have I thought about it, I’ve planned out every single detail to guarantee
that by the time I’m done with you, you will never doubt again how I feel about
you.”  The confident tone he says that with makes me want to ask him to
prove it right now.  “Don’t worry.  It’s not tonight,” he winks at
me.

“Guess
you aren’t able to read my mind after all because that is definitely
not
what I was thinking,” I say without regretting it.

“Sunshine,
you are going to be the death of me,” he says shaking his head.

Fortunately,
we’ve reached the parking lot back at school.  I make sure not to get out
of the car before Rocco can open my door this time.  When he reaches out
for my hand, he’s grinning like he just won the lottery.  He closes the
door behind me and leans me up against his car becoming serious again. 
The jerk has intentionally pushed himself up against me to make his point
perfectly clear of what he is about to say.  “I didn’t say I wouldn’t
throw you in my back seat.  I said you didn’t deserve it.  Don’t
think for one second that I don’t want you right here, right now.  You’re
friggin
torturing me.”

I
force myself to swallow before I choke on the lump that has unexpectedly formed
in my throat.  “You’re going to scratch the paint on your car.”

“I
really don’t give a shit about the paint on my car.  Come on,” he says
pulling away from me.  “I need a cold shower now.”  That makes me
giggle and he shakes his head at me.  “Pure fucking torture,” he mumbles.

He
seems to have regained his composure by the time we make it to our floor. 
“You sure you feel like coming in here?  You might be grossed out.”

“It’s
fine.  I’ll just make sure to take a shower when I get back to my room and
burn any of my clothes that may come in contact with any surface in here,” I
say sarcastically.  “Seriously?  Do you think that I’m going to freak
out because it’s not as neat as my apartment?  I live with Leah. 
Nothing will ever be as neat as our apartment.”

He
doesn’t even need his key card because the door is propped open.  His
apartment isn’t nearly as bad as he made it seem.  It is the typical
college dorm room.  Nothing fancy.  The sink has dirty dishes in it
and there are empty beer bottles on the counter that would make me twitch if it
were my room.  I know if I took my coat off and started cleaning it up,
Rocco would never let me come back again.  The difference between me and
my roommate is that I’m able to refrain from actually doing it and she’d already
have it half way cleaned up by now.  They have posters of half-naked women
on the walls, but that doesn’t bother me.  It’s the one of New Jersey’s
hockey team on the wall over their table that has me thoroughly repulsed. 
He sees me staring at it and laughs. 

“If
you don’t like it, Philly girl, get the hell out,” Logan says coming out of his
room.  He kisses my cheek before plopping in the chair he has pulled away
from the table, so he can see the TV better.  Shane is sitting in the one
next to him trying to hide his laugh.  Troy and his girlfriend are on the
couch looking up at Rocco watching his reaction.   

“Put
your lips on my girl again and I’ll remove them.  Permanently.” 
Logan doesn’t look concerned by his friend’s threat.  I look back to
Troy’s girlfriend and realize who she is.  “That’s Paige,” Rocco says
pointing to her.  “Paige, my girlfriend Alyssa.  Want a beer?” 
I shake my head no as he walks to the refrigerator.  I take my coat off
and he takes it from me when he gets back.  He puts his beer on the table
taking my coat into his room. 

“I
know who she is, Rocco.  Hey,” she nods towards me.  “I’m really
sorry about Carrie earlier today.”

“What
did Carrie do?”  Rocco is at my side instantly with a look of concern on
his face.  No one is paying attention to the hockey game on the big screen
TV they have set up on a stand which takes up most of the small living room.

“Nothing. 
It’s fine,” I say to him.  He looks over at Paige. 

“Nothing
Alyssa couldn’t handle.  Carrie was just trying to scare her off.  We
heard about the two of you dating on the way over to our Theater class
today.  One of the girls from our sorority heard about it and made sure to
tell Carrie about it right away.  Obnoxious, skanky bitches,” she adds
sighing.

Rocco
turns to me.  “I’ll talk to her tomorrow.  She won’t bother you
anymore.”

“Rocco,
I took care of it.  Let it go,” I say going to sit on the other end of the
couch.  He comes over sitting next to me and slides his arm behind my
shoulders.

“She
did.  Carrie was so pissed that Alyssa wasn’t the least bit bothered by
her.  I actually moved away from her and after class she came over to me
pouting.  Alyssa doesn’t need your protection from Carrie, Rocco,” Paige
convinces him.  “That wasn’t why I brought it up.  I just didn’t want
you to think that I was like her.  It’s nice to be able to come over here
and not be stuck alone with these guys.”  She winks at me.  I knew
she’d be someone I wouldn’t mind being friends with.   

Shane
throws a crumpled up brown bag at her, but Troy catches it.  “Throw
something at my girl again and I’ll let Rocco beat the shit out of you.” 

“Damn. 
The game just started fifteen minutes ago and I already missed a goal? 
Who scored?”  Rocco wants to know as he finally relaxes next to me and
takes a sip of his beer.  I’m glad talk about Carrie is over.  I hope
he doesn’t approach her despite me asking him not to.  I adjust myself, so
my back is to his chest.  His arm is down my side that is against the back
of the couch and his hand is on my leg.

“I’m
sorry you missed it.  Maybe next time a game is on you should just stay
home,” I say over my shoulder causing Paige to look over at me with a smirk.

Rocco
leans over kissing the side of my neck.  “No way in hell.”

“Get
a room, already,” Logan says.  Rocco doesn’t pay any attention to him, but
he does kiss my neck one more time before leaning back taking a deep breath and
whispering something about still needing a cold shower.  Now that he’s
kissed my neck like that and is rubbing my leg the way he is, he’s not the only
one.

Over
the next hour, their team manages to score two more goals.  The
unrelenting cheering I endure after each one is loud enough that they have to
close the propped-open door because the RA walks in reminding them to be
quiet.  They aren’t even playing a team that I like which would at least
make it more interesting.  I do have a nice time, especially since I was
able to meet Paige.  She’s actually very sweet and fun to be around. 
Paige mentions how it was nice to get away from the sorority for a while. 
I tell her that she is welcome to come visit our apartment anytime.  Troy
is extremely happy to hear her say she wouldn’t mind coming over here to visit
more often.  He winks at me and whispers a thank you.

During
the second intermission of the hockey game, I decide it’s time for me to go
back to my apartment.  Rocco must have known what I was going to say
because he speaks first.  “Already?”

“What?”

“You’re
leaving already, aren’t you?” he asks sadly.

“I
have to.  I’ll never be able to function tomorrow morning if I don’t get
some sleep.  I’m sorry,” I say.  He sighs, but stands up holding his
hand out for me to take it.  He pulls me up to him. 

“It
was nice meeting you, Alyssa.  Let me know if you’ll be hanging out with
these bums this weekend and I’ll meet up with you guys.  Unless of course,
you want to come over to the party in the Village.”  Paige looks at me
knowing what my answer will be.

“I
highly doubt I’d be welcomed there,” I tease her. 

“Carrie
doesn’t make the rules, Alyssa.  If you ever want to come over, I’ll
personally make sure she doesn’t bother you.”  She gets up and gives me a
hug. 

“How
about we make plans to do something off-campus Saturday night instead of going
over there?” Troy suggests.  He must really be sick of Paige’s sorority
sisters if he is trying this hard to get out of going.  “Do you think
you’d be able to get out of the party this weekend?” Troy looks at her
optimistically.

“They
don’t own me, Troy.  I can leave whenever I want,” she says to him. 
Troy stands up brushing the light blond hair hanging over the one side of her
face away before putting his arms around her waist.  “It’s just
uncomfortable to hang out with the four of you here.  Since Alyssa is
going to be around, I’ll feel better.”  As he kisses her cheek, Paige’s
hand goes into his chin-length jet black hair. 

“What
the hell is it with you people tonight?  Is it a full moon?  Get a
fucking room!”  Logan raises his voice as he moves from his chair to the
spot on the couch that Rocco and I just vacated.  “And get the hell out of
the way.  The third period is starting.”

Rocco
lets go of my hand telling me he’s going to grab my coat.  Still in Troy’s
grasp, Paige looks over at me.  “Did you want to do something Saturday night?”

“Sure. 
I am going out shopping for a dress with my roommate during the day, but we
should be back by dinnertime at the latest.  That is, of course, unless I
can’t find something,” I say.  “I need it by next weekend.”