Forever & an Engine (25 page)

‘Here’s
your phone baby, I need a shower and to get changed.’

‘You’re not
going to drink your coffee?’

‘I’ll take
in the bathroom so you girls can talk in private ok?’

‘Ok.’

‘No getting
out of bed Mia, I
mean
it. Don’t make me mad with you.’

I nodded
and lay back in the bed and put my hands over my eyes. I was tired, suddenly really
tired and felt like crying again, it was getting ridiculous. I lay with my eyes
closed for a few minutes and suddenly felt my phone vibrate. Lexi was facetiming
me.

‘Lexi?’ I answered
and started crying again as I saw her face.

‘Mia I’m so
sorry. Christ you look like shit.’

‘Thanks a
lot, I’ve been worried sick about you, are you ok?’ I sniffed.

‘Great now
I’ve had a good sleep and a few bottles of beer. I’m so sorry Mia, I’d turned
my phone off to have a sleep and when Doug woke me up I figured you’d still be
out of it so we had a few beers and then suddenly it’s night. How are you?
You’re crying.’

‘I can’t
stop bloody crying Lexi. I was all happy earlier, now I’m a blubbering wreck. I
need to know if you’re ok first, I’ve been worrying. What happened?’

‘I felt off
the last couple of days and not long after you went in I started with awful
stomach cramps. Gabe helped me into the bathroom and called the nurse when I
saw blood. She came and sat with me until the cramps had passed. There was a
lot of blood and I’m still bleeding now, she said it could take a while for it
to stop.’

‘God Lexi.
I’m
so
sorry I wasn’t there.’

‘I feel
better that it happened like this. I was starting to worry that maybe I wasn’t
doing the right thing having the abortion, so at least I won’t ever look back
and wonder if I made the wrong decision going through with it eh?’

‘Lexi this
is me you’re talking to. You’re not just being brave are you?’

‘No really
Mia, I didn’t want a baby, but I also didn’t want the pressure I felt over
whether or not to terminate either, so it really has worked out for the best.
Do I sound callous that I’m relieved?’

‘No of
course not, it wasn’t a good time for you and like you said if you’d have had a
baby, you weren’t sure if you could give it up so your whole live would have
changed.’ I rubbed my eyes, I was feeling a bit dizzy.

‘I can’t
believe we’ve both had something major happen and we’re not together. That just
sucks. I should be there for you Mia,’ she sighed.

‘I know, I
feel the same about you Lex. Why did they let you out so quickly?’ I could feel
my head spinning and it was hard trying to focus my eyes.

‘Not a lot
they can do once it’s happened. I told Gabe I’d get a taxi home, but he
insisted you’d never forgive him. He carried me down to his car, all Richard
Gere again, just like he did with you. Then he took me back to his house, got
me into bed and sat with me holding my hand, but I could see he was fretting
about you. I told him to go, but he refused to leave me alone, he said he’d
promised you he wouldn’t and you’d never forgive him if he left me. He was so
sweet Mia, you’ve so struck lucky with him.’

‘I really
have,’ I sobbed, he was such a good boyfriend, he really deserved better.

‘Shit
you’re crying again, you’ll have piggy eyes in the morning.’

‘I know,’ I
half laughed through my tears and the wooziness that was threatening to overcome
me. ‘So what happened?’

‘I insisted
on calling Doug and telling him and asking for his help, problem solved. So
enough about me, I’m fine.’

‘Is Doug
ok? It’s not screwed things up?’

‘He was
really sweet Mia and no it’s not screwed things up. He’s downstairs making me a
cup of tea and ordering a takeaway. I can fill you in on him when I see you.’

‘You’re not
just saying that? You’re really ok? He’s ok?’

‘No really
Mia, we’re both fine, I’m more worried about you, you’re still crying.’

‘I’m ok … I’m
actually … feeling really tired and
very
woozy all of a sudden.’

‘So Gabe
filled Doug in on your results, I’m sorry Mia.’

‘Why’s
everyone
soooo
sorry. I’ll take some painkillers when I need to and be
fine.’

‘I meant the
kids thing.’

‘O,’ I
sighed. ‘Don’t you start as well … Gabe’s upset again that … that I don’t seem
bothered about it. What’s it … with … god Lex I feel really… really weird and
dizzy.’

‘Mia where’s
Gabe is he with you?’

‘The shower.’
I tried to focus my eyes on her, but she was all fuzzy.

‘Call him
for me.’

‘Lexi … I’m
fine.’

‘You don’t
look fine, your pupils are like saucers, you’re slurring and your head keeps
flopping. Mia call him please I want to talk to him.’

‘Gabe …
Lexi wants you,’ I yelled. I tried to focus my eyes when the bathroom door
opened, I was sure I could see two of him in his little towel, that cheered me
up straight away. I smiled and giggled and waved my phone at him and felt him
take it off me.

‘Hi Lex,
you ok? ... Good … she’ll be fine. She was getting really upset so the nurse
gave her some painkillers and a really strong sedative to calm her down and it
looks like it’s taking effect. I better go, she looks out of it … yes I will … You
too and speak to you in the morning … and Lex keep your phone on you please. It’s
bad enough me worrying about her without you and bloody Doug as well … I know, you’re
welcome. See you tomorrow hopefully. Night.’

‘Gabe?’ I
was really struggling to keep my eyes open for more than a few seconds. I felt
his hand stroking my hair.

‘Hey baby,
it’s the drugs, don’t fight them you need to sleep. I’m here, I’m staying here with
you ok, so go to sleep. I love you.’ I felt his lips on my forehead.

‘I love … you
… ’ I felt my head roll to the side as I zoned out.

I woke up
when I heard the door go and half opened my eyes to see it the room slightly
illuminated from the light in the corridor and felt something around my arm
tighten and heard beeping again.

‘It’s just
me Agnes doing your obs, go back to sleep Mia, I’ve put a blanket on Gabe and I’ll
come and check on you again in the morning.’

I heard the
door close and the room went black again and I went straight back to sleep dreaming
about Gabe.

I woke up
again and yawned then suddenly remembered where I was and lay looking up at the
ceiling letting my eyes become accustomed to the darkness. I frowned wondering
why my left hand and arm were so numb and realised Gabe was asleep, half
sitting in the chair, bent over with his head on my arm, holding my hand. I
carefully leaned over and took my phone off the bedside table. It was 4 a.m.
and I could just make out that his bed hadn’t been slept in.

‘Gabe,’ I
ran my free hand gently through his hair ‘Gabe wake up.’ I felt him stir.

‘Mia?’ he
groaned. ‘What time is it?’

‘4 a.m.’

‘Really?’ He
sat up and I squinted as he put on the bedside light. ‘Are you ok baby?’

‘I’m fine,
why are you in the chair?’

‘You were
really groggy and I just wanted to sit with you.’ He stretched and yawned. ‘I
must’ve drifted off. Where did this blanket come from?’

‘Agnes came
to check on me. She covered you up. Gabe please get into your bed, you look
exhausted.’

‘I’ll sleep
here, I want to be close to you,’ he said with another yawn.

‘Your bed’s
like two feet away.’

‘I can’t
hold your hand from there.’

‘Then get
in with me.’

‘I can’t,
what if I accidentally hurt you?’

‘I’ll lie
on my side and you cuddle up behind me. That way you can’t accidentally elbow
me in the stomach.’

‘
Mia.
’

‘I’m not
leaving you half sitting in a bloody chair all night Gabe, so either get in
with me or I’m getting on your lap, take your pick.’

‘Bossy
Mia’s back. Well at least you’ve stopped bloody crying.’

‘I don’t
know what happened, I was on the phone to Lexi and went all weird.’

‘Sorry, you
were upset so I asked Agnes to sedate you to make you sleep.’

‘Well I
slept a lot better than you by the looks of it. Pass me one of your pillows
will you,’ I asked and he leaned back and grabbed one and I tucked it into my
right hand side. ‘Ok give me a second to roll over.’ I pushed myself up on my
hands and gently tilted and bit my lip to stop a wince of pain escaping. Shit
it seriously pulled to turn over. I got onto my side and tucked the pillow
against my stomach to stop me rolling too far forwards and had to fight back
some tears of pain. I felt way more comfortable on my back but I knew that would
mean he wouldn’t get in with me. ‘Ok, do you have enough room?’ I felt him lie
down and tuck in behind me and bit my lip as the mattress moved and the pull in
my stomach tightened.

‘I’ve loads
of room baby, are you sure you’re ok?’ he asked, cuddling up against me.

‘Yes thanks
and it’s nice to feel you next to me. I’m sorry I keep crying.’

‘It’s fine,
come on baby, you need to sleep. I want to be able to take you home tomorrow.
If I can, we can sleep in my comfy super king and I don’t have to sleep with
joggers on in case a nurse comes in and sees me full frontal with my morning
glory.’

‘Permanent
glory more like. Agnes would have a heart attack if she saw
that
and Ann
doesn’t need any more encouragement to flirt to flirt with you thank you.’

‘I love it
when you get all jealous. What did you call it? Ah yes, my orgasmic smile.’

‘What?’

‘Hmmm, one
of the many things you said while you were out of it earlier,’ he murmured as
he kissed the back of my neck.

‘I really
said that?’

‘Yes, why
are you taking it back?’

‘No, I’m
just embarrassed.’

‘Why
embarrassed?’

‘Because
some of the things I think are downright lustful and you shouldn’t have to hear
those.’

‘Why not?’

‘I don’t
want you to think that all you are to me is an incredibly hot body and face,’ I
mumbled and he laughed.

‘I know you
love me Mia, but it doesn’t hurt a guy’s ego to hear that he visually pleases
his girl. I’d love to hear more of your thoughts.’

‘Then I’ll
tell you when I’m able to enjoy the benefits of them.’

‘O god
don’t tease me, how many days before I can touch you again?’

‘I need to
ask that tomorrow. Look on the bright side, you may not be alive by morning
anyway. I think Agnes is going to kick your arse when she finds you in bed with
me in the morning,’ I giggled and he laughed again, which made me properly
laugh and then wince at the same time.

‘Come on
baby, go to sleep for me please,’ he said kissing the back of my neck.

‘Night
Gabe.’

‘Night Mia,
now sleep.’

I opened my eyes when I heard noises
coming from the corridor. Gabe was curled tightly around me with his arm draped
over my hip and his face nestled in the curve of my neck. I could feel a painful
drag in my stomach and I was desperate for the toilet. I carefully lifted his
arm off me, turned back the bed sheets, dropped my legs over the edge and very
slowly sat up yawning. I heard him moan and looked back at him, amazingly he
was still asleep, I figured he must be seriously tired. I took a deep breath
and holding onto the foot of the bed, I carefully stood up and was surprised
that I felt better than I expected.

I tucked
Gabe back in and stood watching him for a while and smiled. I could see why he
sat watching me sleeping, I could just sit here for hours studying … just
everything
.
Shit I had it so bad for him, how had he wormed his way into my heart so
quickly? I sighed, much as I’d love to stay and look at him the toilet was
calling. I went to the bathroom and changed my towel, brushed my teeth and examined
the dark circles under my eyes, I’d definitely looked better. I lifted my t-shirt
and looked at my stomach, it had gone down a bit but I could see bruising
appearing around the edges of the dressings. I smelled of sanitised hospital,
so had a quick wash and brushed my hair knotting it up and went back into the
bedroom.

Gabe was
still fast asleep, I stood at the end of the bed and studied him again. His
blond hair was ruffled up from his sleepless night, his long dark lashes fanned
out across his chiselled cheek and his perfectly formed lips were slightly
parted as he gently breathed. I looked at his strong shoulder and muscular arm
hanging over the top of the sheet and felt butterflies in my stomach as I looked
at him. He was just so perfect, perfect and mine. I sighed, smiling, and pulled
on my dressing gown and crept out into the corridor to stretch my legs and
walked into Agnes.

‘Morning
Mia, you’re up early. How are you feeling?’

‘Good I
think, I’m tired but I can move a lot better than I thought. What time is it?’

‘Just after
six, I was coming to check on you, give you your painkillers and make your bed.’

‘Do you have
to do the bed now?’

‘If you’ve
bled more I need to change the sheets.’

‘No, no
more bleeding, it’s just Gabe wasn’t sleeping well and he climbed in and he’s
fast asleep. He had a rough day yesterday and I’d like to leave him to get some
rest for a while if that’s ok?’ I looked at her expecting a disapproving frown
and was surprised to see her smile softly.

‘Well he didn’t
look very comfortable lying in that chair last night, holding onto your hand.’

‘He tells
me you had to sedate me, I’m sorry if I’ve been any trouble. I just couldn’t
stop crying.’

‘You may
feel like that for a few days Mia. I need to check your blood pressure, and I’d
like to remove your dressings to see how you’re doing and then let you have a
shower, so I’ll come to you last.’

‘Thank you.’

I spent twenty
minutes walking up and down the corridor and then read my kindle app on the
spare bed until Agnes crept in to check me. She removed my dressings and seemed
pleased with the incisions and butterfly stitches and my blood pressure reading
was ok, if not still on the low side. She told me I could take a shower and
that Dr Wells would come and see me at about ten. I ordered breakfast, a full
English for Gabe, with coffee and orange juice, then muesli, croissants and
apple juice for myself then I carried on reading until seven thirty and I decided
to have my shower. I stripped off and took my shampoo and body wash into the
wet room area. It felt so good to let the hot water wash over me and I put my
hands against the tiles and let it run down my hair and back. I suddenly jumped,
as I felt hands gently grasp my hips and a body press up behind me.

‘I woke up and
you were gone,’ Gabe murmured as he kissed the back of my head. I leaned back, resting
my head on his shoulder and enjoyed feeling his bare skin against mine.

‘Sorry, you
looked so tired and you were fast asleep.’

‘How long
have you been up?’

‘A couple
of hours,’ I smiled up at him and he moved an arm up and lay it across the top
of my breasts and gently ran his other hand over my stomach.

‘How does
it feel?’

‘Ok, a bit
sore, but much better.’ I tried to turn around and he held my chest tightly.

‘No don’t.’

‘I want to
see you.’

‘I’m hard,
I don’t want to hurt your stomach,’ he advised. I reached for his fingers and
caressed them and turned my head, brushing my cheek back and forth across his
chest.

‘I’m so
sorry Gabe, you had a pretty shit day yesterday, with me and everything else.’

‘I’m glad I
was here, I dread to think what state you’d have got yourself into.’

‘Agnes reckons
Dr Wells will discharge me later.’

‘O god I
hope so.’ He kissed the side of my neck making my skin burn. ‘Shit did Agnes
see me in your bed? Am I in trouble with her?’

‘Yes she
saw you. I think she thought it was sweet you wanted to sleep with me. Gabe
please let me turnaround, I want to kiss you and put my arms around you.’

‘Then no
pressing against me Mia, I don’t want to hurt you.’ He let go of me and stepped
back, gasping as I turned around. He reached out and ran his fingers carefully
over my stitches and bruises. ‘O god Mia.’

‘Gabe I’m
fine, please stop worrying.’ I stepped towards him and he took a quick step
back.

‘Mia don’t
come near me, I don’t want to hurt you.’

‘Gabe
please it probably looks worse than it is, I want you to hold me.’ I moved
forward and placed my hands on his chest and stepped into him pressing my
stomach to him. I felt him tense as his erection lay heavy against my belly. ‘I’m
ok, it doesn’t hurt.’

I felt him
exhale and relax a little, before putting a gentle arm around me. He tipped my
head up to look at him and kissed me tenderly. I reached up and grasped his wet
hair and kissed back harder and heard him groan as my tongue made its way into
his mouth. I felt my nipples harden and a twinge in my stomach as everything
started to contract, at least I could kiss him now without any major pain. I
wondered how long it would be before we could have sex again. It was only 24
hours and I craved him.

‘Mia, stop,
slow down. We can’t … I can’t.’

‘No I
can’t, you can. Let me help you, I know what relaxes you.’ I returned to his
lips and unleashed myself on his mouth until he was groaning so hard I knew he
was close. I moved onto his hip and reached down and took him in my hand and
gripped him, stroking his length as I continued to work my tongue around his
mouth. It was no time before I felt his body shudder as he sighed my name and
the shower washed the evidence of his enjoyment down the drain hole as he
caught his breath.

‘Next time,
I’m taking you in my mouth,’ I said as I pecked his lips.

‘Mia Page you’re
the best. How long before we can have sex again?’

‘I’m not
sure, we’ll have to ask Dr Wells this morning.’

‘Can you
bend over?’

‘I don’t
think that would be a good idea yet either Gabe,’ I exclaimed. If he thought I
was ready for anal in this state he had another think coming.

‘Not for
that
,
I meant to wash your legs.’

‘O sorry,
no not yet.’

‘Then hold
the wall and I’ll do it for you.’ He turned me around to face the tiles and I
leaned against them with my forearms as he soaped his hands and ran them up
each calf and around my thighs and did my buttocks and gently between my legs.

‘O god,’ I
moaned as I felt his fingers graze me and he quickly pulled his hand back.

‘O god no.
Washing only. Can I do the rest of you?’

‘Please. Anything
to feel your hands on me.’ I pushed myself back away from the wall with my palms
flat on the cream tiles as he carefully washed my stomach, running his fingers
lightly over my stitches. He worked his way up my back, rubbing my shoulders
and neck massaging me, before reaching around and caressing my breasts and
nipples, which hardened again and I parted my lips as my eyes rolled back in
pleasure.

‘Gabe,’ I
sighed as he kissed my neck and started to shampoo my hair, his touch sending
shivers through my body. As he rinsed I started to sway and he quickly held my
hips.

‘Mia?’

‘You’ve
made me so relaxed, I feel really tired all of a sudden.’

‘Come on,
we need to get you back to bed.’ He flipped down the built in shower seat and
perched me on it as he quickly washed and dried himself before helping me to
the sink. He made me face it and hold it as he dried me, carefully patting my
stitches and got me dressed in my knickers and a fresh t-shirt. I watched him
grab a towel and he wrapped it around his waist and stepped out, giving me some
privacy to fix another sanitary towel. When I stepped out he made me sit at the
dressing table and gently dried my hair for me, running his fingers through it
so it parted in soft waves and cascaded down my back and over my shoulders
below my breasts.

‘I love
your hair Mia, it’s so soft, like your skin. Are you ok?’

‘Yes thanks,
that feels so nice. You’re so gentle with me Gabe.’

He smiled
and carried on until all the dampness was gone and led me back to the bed.
Agnes must’ve been while we were in the shower as it was freshly made, all the
pillows plumped up and half reclining. He tucked me in, kissed me and ordered
me to close my eyes and I fell asleep again instantly.

I woke
again to feel him planting a kiss on my lips.

‘Hello
beautiful, your breakfast’s here.’

‘Hmmm you?’
I murmured, as I opened my eyes look at him, making him chuckle.

‘I meant
your food, come on sit up and eat.’

I toyed
with my muesli, my appetite had gone. I watched as he finished his in minutes
and poured himself a black coffee and rubbed his eyes.

‘You’re
tired too Gabe, you need to rest.’

‘I can rest
when you’re home. Why aren’t you eating Mia?’

‘I’m not
really hungry this morning.’

‘I need you
to have something for me, please. If you’re not going to eat the muesli then at
least eat some croissant to fill you up.’ He fed it to me and I managed two bites
and he shook his head. ‘Mia you need to eat.’

‘You eat
the rest. You were so hungry, you finished all of yours in seconds.’

‘I could
eat it again.’

‘So eat
mine.’

‘I’ll share
it with you.’ He fed me a spoon of muesli before taking one himself and I
giggled. ‘What’s so funny baby?’

‘I was just
thinking that the last time you did that was with the ice cream. I enjoyed that.’

‘Me too.
Well hopefully we can do it again soon.’ He moved the tables out of the way and
sat with me on the bed and put his arm around my shoulder and flicked through
the TV channels. I closed my eyes and put my hand on this firm thigh and fell
asleep and was woken up by him kissing my forehead.

‘Mia, we
have a visitor.’

‘God sorry,
did I fall asleep again?’

‘Yes, Dr
Wells is here,’ he nodded. I looked to my right to see her smiling at me.

‘Sorry to
wake you Mia, I just came to see how you’re feeling?’

‘Ok thank
you other than tired all the time.’ I watched as she checked my charts.

‘Well
everything on paper looks good and Agnes told me she’s happy to discharge you. I’d
like to check your incisions myself if I can please?’

Gabe
quickly got off the bed and went to stand by the window and I shuffled down and
lifted my t-shirt. Dr Wells looked and gently prodded my stomach.

‘Are you
still bleeding?’

‘Just a
little.’

‘Hopefully
that’ll stop in a few days. Ok I’m happy to send you home Mia. I’ll give you
four days of painkillers, two three times a day and I’d suggest you take them
even if you don’t think you need them. Hopefully by Sunday you should be ok
without, or just Ibuprofen or something similar. I did more internal work than
expected so I’d prefer you take all of next week off too and during this time
you need to avoid any heavy lifting. I’d like to see you next Friday to see how
you’re getting on and we’ll talk about how to manage your condition and your
options for the future ok?’

‘Great
thanks.’

‘Do you
have any questions for me today?’

‘Can I ask
when I can … When it’s safe for me to have …’ I felt myself flush as I looked
over at Gabe, who smiled and raised an eyebrow.

‘I’d
refrain from sex for at least another few days Mia, but you know your own body.
Listen to it and if you’re in pain refrain. Nothing too vigorous.’ She smiled
at me and I felt my face going crimson.

‘Can she
swim Dr Wells?’ asked Gabe.