Forever Blue (17 page)

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Authors: Jennifer Edlund

BOOK: Forever Blue
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“Hey Michael, watch your lunch. Alexa might swipe it,” Carter announced.

    
My so-called best friend was illustrating his dark side by turning against me. It made me feel like I was experiencing déjà vu. There I was on the first day of seventh grade where my best friend just decided to humiliate me for no apparent reason.

    
“Hey, Alexa, the school called—they want their supplies back,” Michael shouted.

    
I had just enough bullying as I could handle. I abruptly ran
from the lunch area in tears, feeling
like
had
I swallowed glass that had splintered into a million pieces inside my stomach. It was bad enough that Carter accused me of stealing, but bringing someone else into our business was unbearable. I left school that afternoon hoping to never see his face again.

    
I was outside in my driveway shooting hoops
later that evening,
trying blow off some steam. That’s when I caught Carter coming toward me. In no way did I forget about what he did to me that day. Needless to say, I wasn’t in the mood for any more allegations.

    
The basketball slipped from my hands
as I rushed inside the house,
and rolled down the driveway. Carter retrieved the ball before it spun down the street and called out, “Alexa—”

    
I slammed the
front door behind me—my
way of showing him I wasn’t messing around.

    
He called my name from the porch.  “Alexa, can I talk to you please?”

    
“No. Just go away. You’re a jerk.”

    
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

    
A sob escaped me. “I said just go away. I don’t want to talk to you ever again.”

     
“You were right. I was getting a dollar from my mom’s purse, and I saw it. She had the necklace the whole time.”

     
It was too late for apologies
as far as I was concerned. The damage had been
done. “I don’t care what you have to say. Don’t ever talk to me again.”

 

***

 

    
Carter and I had English class together the next day. To make matters worse, we were forced to sit next to each other in the library that same class period. Fortunately, it was movie day, so we didn’t have to interact with other students. I convened uneasily at the library table with my arms crossed. My attention was drawn to the small television playing a cheesy cartoon movie that I
had become
increasingly bored with.

    
During the last ten minutes of the ridiculously boring film, Carter insisted on whispering at me incessantly. “I’m sorry, Alexa,” he pleaded in heavy whispers. “I really am. How can I make it up to you?”

    
“SHHHHHHH,” the teacher warned.

    
A group of students turned their heads in our direction. My face grew hot, but the embarrassment in no way deterred me from staying silent.
He tried everything in his power to get my attention
since the beginning of class,
but I refused to give in.

    
“I am really sorry, even if you don’t believe me,”
Carter continued to whisper.

    
Just before I was able to get up and seat myself somewhere else, someone let loose a thunderous fart.
The whole class exploded into laughter
right away,
including
me and Carter.
I glanced at Carter, who was almost in stitches, wondering how I could deny such an innocent, perfectly charming face. Holding his mother’s wrongdoings against him made me no better than her.

    
Carter slowly came back to life and said, “I still wanna be your friend if you wanna be mine.”

    
“Yeah, I still want to be friends,” I replied with a smile. “Best friends forever.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter
9:

The Wrong Place at the wrong time

 

 

 

 

    
I believed
at one time that
I wasn’t prepared to juggle school and a boyfriend. Surprisingly, the more time I spent with Scotty, the more I changed my beliefs. I found myself falling in love for the second time. It didn’t take me long to discover that Scotty was a rare breed. I’d truly never met a real man like Scotty
out of all the boys I dated since Carter.
He was the type most women prayed for: loyal, handsome, understanding, and extremely easygoing. In other words, he was my very own prince charming. This white knight’s childhood, however, was anything but a fairy tale.
Shortly after we met,
I was quick to learn about a tragedy that turned the lives of Scotty and his family upside down.

    
On the afternoon of October ninetieth, thirteen-year-old Scotty, his mother and two younger sisters packed themselves into their station wagon and
waved their father goodbye. It was just a typical day where the family headed off to the local grocery store to pick up a few items for dinner. Bill, Scotty’s father, was on the rooftop that early afternoon fixing a leak. He was also in the process of removing some branches from a tree close by. He equipped himself with a rope, saw, and ladder as he readied himself to get on with the household chores. No one knows what happened from the time they drove off until the moment they got home. Scotty recalled how driving up to the house after their grocery store trip was almost like something out of a nightmare. Bill’s six foot-two muscular frame dangled in plain view from a tree branch with a rope caught around his neck.
The ladder lay on the ground
just below him.
This heinous image would haunt Scotty for years to come. It got worse when people tried to pawn his father’s death off as a suicide, but his family knew better. They never had any issues that would cause Bill to kill himself. The Logan’s were the all American family with absolutely no skeletons lurking in their closet. The only logical explanation was that it was a freak accident—one of those unexpected twists of undesirable fate that just couldn’t be explained. From that day forward, life changed drastically for Scotty and his family.

    
The widowed Evelyn Logan suffered from severe depression for the next two years. Just when she was at her breaking point, she met a man named Jim Seaward. Call it a blessing in disguise, but somehow Jim helped the family get through their darkest hours. Evelyn and Jim married six months after they met.

    
Of course, Scotty’s sisters, Elizabeth and Jaime, were not exactly thrilled about the new merger. Jaime was the middle child at twelve-years of age and the first to lash out. She rebelled by getting into drugs and alcohol soon after their new stepfather made it official with their mother. The out-of-control pre-teen seemed like a lost cause. In an act of desperation, Evelyn sent Jaime away to a boarding school in San Diego where she ended up spending the rest of her schooling, but the family wasn’t in the clear yet.

    
Elizabeth was next with the defiant behavior.
The ten-year-old had a habit of going to the mall and stealing anything that would fit into her oversized Hello Kitty purse: sample perfumes, designer wallets, makeup, body lotion, and other smaller purses. Elizabeth’s room was filled with her heart’s desires, things her mother never purchased nor cared to even notice. The shoplifting did not cease until the fateful day she got caught. Elizabeth was with her best friend at an accessory store at the mall. Evelyn left the two girls while she went to Nordstrom’s to buy herself some facial cream. The moment Lacy went to the back of the store to check out a hat, Elizabeth stuffed a handful of cheap plastic earrings into her purse. She would later tell her therapist it wasn’t about desiring something she couldn’t have, but rather, it was about the adrenaline that surged through her every time she got away with stealing, whether she wanted the item or not.

    
Throughout all her months of shoplifting, Elizabeth never had a more gut-wrenching feeling than she did the moment she was just about to exit the store. Elizabeth felt almost nauseated, but she ignored her instincts. She figured that since she
never got caught in the past, she would never be caught this time around.
Just before Elizabeth slipped out the door, someone tapped her on the shoulder. A ruddy-looking woman asked her to come
into the back of the store where
she made Elizabeth dump out the contents of her purse in front of her. The store manager discovered Elizabeth’s loot and the police were notified.

    
The night her youngest daughter got caught
stealing, Evelyn stepped into Elizabeth’s room and took notice of her surroundings for the first time. She thought it was wise to send her to juvenile hall. Evelyn wanted her daughter to get a taste of what life would be like if she continued such inappropriate, criminal behavior. As a result, Elizabeth spent a week in a detention center and was forced to speak to a shrink about her problems.

    
Thankfully, Scotty did not turn out to be a druggie or a shoplifter. His mother got in the habit of calling him her “angel child.” After all, he seemed to be the only one who did not act out his emotions in a negative or violent way. After Elizabeth’s incident, Scotty’s mother sent him to a therapist just to make sure he wasn’t a time bomb waiting to explode. Of course, the therapist discovered that Scotty suffered some emotional damage due
to his father’s untimely death, but nothing like his two sisters—something his mother profusely thanked Jesus for.

 

***

 

    
The night of a big date with Scotty, I found it difficult to sit still. Mom helped style my hair in my bedroom. She was more excited about the date than I was.

    
She ran
her fingers through my hair and
asked, “So you really like him?”

    
“So far,” I said as I dabbed
on a touch of lipstick.

    
A smile tugged at the corners of her lips. “Like, really, really like him?”

    
“Mom—”

    
“Oh come on. I’m just curious, that’s all.”

    
I sat up straight and sighed heavily. “Yes, I really, really like him, but he’s a lot shyer than I am.” It was true. We’d gone on several dates, and Scotty had yet to even attempt to kiss me.
I was beginning to think that maybe he
was waiting
for me to make the first move. Unfortunately for both of us, I wasn’t the type of girl to do something like that.

    
A
wave of surprise shot through Mom’s
eyes
as she looked at me through the mirror. “You say he’s shy? How so?” she asked.

    
“You know what I mean, Mom.”

    
“Don’t worry. He’ll come around. In my opinion, when a guy acts shy around a girl, it usually means he really likes her.”

    
“You think so?”

     
“I know
so.” Mom took my hands in hers, and just when she was about to speak, the doorbell rang.

    
“Oh my God,” I said, frantically. “He’s here. How do I look?”

    
She looked up at me and smiled. “You look absolutely beautiful. He’s a lucky man.”

    
I opened the front door to find Scotty dressed handsomely in dark denim jeans and a cream-colored dress shirt.

     
“Wow. You look stunning,” he said right away.

    
“Thank you.” I felt myself blush in response. “Please come in.”

    
“Hello,” Scotty said to
my mom.

    
“Scotty, this is my mother, Denise.”

     
“It’s so very nice to meet you,” Mom said, taking his hand.

     
“It’s very nice to meet you as well, Mrs. Moore,” Scotty said.

     
Mom’s face glowed as though she’d been kissed by the sun. I hadn’t seen her look like that in years. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

    
“Mom—”    

    
Scotty turned and looked at me adoringly, like he
had
just won a million dollars. “I must say, I really admire your daughter.”

    
Mom squeezed my shoulder in recognition and said, “I think the feeling is mutual between you two.”

    
“I’m sorry to cut this short.” Scotty glanced at his watch. “I would love to stay and talk, but we have a seven-thirty reservation.”

    
“Of course. You two should get going. We can chat another time.”

    
“Don’t wait up for me, Mom,” I said, kissing her cheek.

    
Mom grabbed my hand and whispered in my ear, “Be good to this one, Alexa. He’s a keeper.”

 

 

***

 

 

    
Scotty picked a quaint Italian restaurant on the coast of Newport Beach. We sat outside on the patio, lit only by the softness of candle light. The flames flickered in the occasional humid breeze that whipped past us.

    
“So your mom seems to be doing well,” Scotty mentioned as he helped
himself to his third glass of red wine. “You know, with everything that’s happened.”

    
I rarely discussed my father’s death with Scotty because it was still a bit awkward and uncomfortable
for me
to talk about. “Yes, that and everything I’ve put her through.”

    
Scotty took a sip of wine and smiled. “Hey, but you turned out okay.”

    
“I know this might sound crass, but I want her to meet someone.” I took a forkful of cheesecake. “She loved my father, but he wouldn’t want to her to be so lonely.”

    
“Maybe she’s happy being alone. Some people are.”

    
“I know she’s not,” I replied, “and I’m not expecting her to get remarried. I just want her to have fun with someone. I want to see her like she was the moment you walked in the door,
you know. There was this glow on her face and a light in her eyes. I haven’t seen her look that way since my father was alive.”

      We drove down to Huntington Beach
after dinner
and walked along the pier hand in hand. I never believed in the woman making the first move. In my opinion, the man was the one who was supposed to take charge, but Scotty hadn’t tried anything. It hit me that maybe he wasn’t as physically attracted to me as I
had
assumed.

    
“Alexa?”

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