Forever Loved (Forever Lost Book 2) (9 page)

When she sensed company standing close behind her, Cassie spun around, ready to welcome back her sexy waiter. Instead of her half-naked new friend, she collided with a tight wall of cotton-covered muscle. She knew exactly who wore the shirt she was staring at, and had to fight the smile curling at her lips. He’d gotten her message loud and clear, it seemed.

Despite his nightmare-driven cries that still rang in her ears, everything inside Cassie treacherously reacted to Leo’s presence. Even though she tried to maintain her nonchalance at finding him standing there, she couldn’t resist teasing him.

“I hope you’re here to deliver my cocktail?” she asked, staring up into his icy gaze.

“I think you’ve had enough,” he said, and he put a stop to her mischievousness without even a flicker of guilt for his harsh demeanor.

“I don’t care what you think, Leo. I’ll stop when I say so.” She knew she sounded like a petulant teenager, but didn’t care. “Where’s Mario?” She tried to look around the mammoth man blocking her view of the strip club, but it was no use. He overwhelmed her senses, each and every one of them, and they both knew she’d lose if she tried to fight him too hard on this.

“He’s been reassigned.” Leo didn’t grab her or try to make her leave, but he didn’t sit down to join them either. He continued to stare at her, as though disgusted that she’d even set foot in a male strip joint, let alone have enjoyed the attention of the men working there. “You don’t belong in a place like this,” he said, his voice low.

“I thought this is exactly where I belong? I’m nothing but another one of yours and Victor’s whores, after all,” she replied bitterly.

Cassie twisted her body sideways, grabbed her purse, and stormed out. She didn’t want to cause a scene, so was sure to keep her head high and her forced smile firmly plastered on her face as she waved goodbye to Mario and the others that’d served their table.

When the cool air hit her, she wobbled and slowed her march to a meander. Cassie knew the others weren’t far behind, and was glad when she felt Siobhan’s arm wrap around her waist in support rather than Leo’s.

“Come on. Let’s go home,” she whispered, and Cassie nodded. She came to a stop and turned to face the guys just in time to catch the standoff happening between Leo and Roger. She’d missed the start of their talk, but it was clear Roger was stepping up in her defense. Cassie was grateful, but it hurt to think she needed her bodyguard to get between her and Leo. Not once had she ever thought they’d need it.

“I think it’s pretty clear she doesn’t wanna be around you tonight, Leo. Give her some space. I won’t ask you again.” Roger stepped directly into Leo’s path, blocking him from the girls. She had to give Roger some credit, he had balls. Leo looked ready to explode. He clearly wasn’t used to people telling him what to do, and struggled to keep his cool.

“Don’t you dare tell me what I can or cannot do,” Leo spat, and Cassie could see his snarl over her bodyguard’s shoulder. He stepped closer and got in his face, but Roger still didn’t back down. “Don’t get in my way, Rog. You’ll regret it, trust me.” Leo added with a growl.

“You can threaten me all you like, but I don’t respond to intimidation, nor do I play by prison rules.” Roger stepped closer still, their noses almost touching, and Cassie could feel herself starting to panic. The last thing she wanted was to have caused a fight between two of her most favorite people, and her stomach lurched as she watched them.

In a flash, Leo had him by the throat and threw Roger to the ground. No matter his training or strength, Roger seemed no match for the powerful man, and went limp to show Leo he wasn’t interested in a fight. But he still didn’t seem ready to admit defeat. “Go home, Mr. Solomon.
Your
home.” Leo let go, but didn’t take his eyes off him as he stood and righted himself.

Cassie tried to ignore the sea of onlookers, and fought back her tears. She and Leo locked eyes for just a second, and she could see he was in pain, but she didn’t feel ready to comfort him. Her head started to spin thanks to their drinking session, and she felt exhausted. Most importantly, she was hurting too.

Part of her wanted nothing more than for Leo to take her home and make it up to her, but she knew she had to push him. Her icy man would never learn if she kept letting him get away with keeping his emotions at bay. Only by taking the hardest road now could they possibly hope to move on.

She turned and walked away, and was glad when Roger caught her up and steered the girls toward an awaiting cab. Cassie trembled, fumbling with her purse in a bid to distract herself. She didn’t look back as they sped away, and knew she had to stay strong.

They dropped Siobhan off before heading to her apartment, even though she insisted she was sober enough to come back to Cassie’s and keep her company. Siobhan was swaying more than her boss, and even Cassie could tell she’d be good for nothing more than falling into bed when she finally crashed.

Roger said nothing as they rode the rest of the way, and he didn’t even give Cassie the option of refusing his company when they reached her building. He followed her inside and promptly started the big-brother-style caretaker routine. After helping her out of her heels and jacket, he ran her a hot bath. Their comfortable silence carried on while he worked, and Cassie was grateful for it. She didn’t feel much like talking about what’d happened between Roger and Leo on that sidewalk, and she wasn’t ready to even consider whether or not they could move on from Leo’s behavior.

When she emerged, she discovered that Roger had left a perfectly brewed cup of tea and a small stack of biscuits on her nightstand. Sometimes, those little things he did reminded her so much of Grayson. He’d been the one to keep her safe and bring her food when she was in Mexico, all the while watching over her with a silent affection and brotherly-type love. She still missed him, even after all this time. Not the situation in which they’d met, or how it’d all ended, but she missed her friend and protector. Grayson, her Gentle Giant. She often wondered where on earth he might be now and hoped he’d escaped the cartel too. She prayed he was happy, wherever he was.

After Cassie had dressed and climbed under her sheets, she called to the man she knew would be waiting outside her door.

“You can come in.” She smiled when Roger slipped inside her doorway a second later. “Thanks for taking care of me,” she added, indicating to her tea and biscuits.

“I thought you might need sobering up, although you’re doing far better than I would’ve thought,” he teased gently, but they both knew having fought with Leo was definitely a sobering experience.

“I can handle my booze, Rog. It’s not my first night on the town, but I must admit it was my first male strip-joint,” she replied with a cheeky grin.

“Mine too.” He chuckled to himself as he tucked her in and made to leave, but then turned back. “Whatever he did. I get it that you’re hurt, but don’t punish him too long. That man’s lost without you.” It was a relief to hear that he wasn’t holding a grudge.

“He called me a whore,” she replied on a sigh. “He said I was nothing but another whore. How can I forgive that?” Tears pricked at her eyes as she peered up at him. Cassie then told him exactly what’d happened that morning as Leo had slept beside her, and Roger took a deep breath.

“I hate to be the voice of reason, but I think he deserves the chance to explain. Sounds to me like he’s dealing with some serious shit, and not very well. A beaten and broken animal will always lash out at the first sign of a nurturing, kind hand. They don’t know any better. Give him the opportunity to learn his lesson and you’ll both be better off, I promise.”

He left before she could respond, and Cassie sat and drank her tea in stunned silence. Eventually, she turned out the light and fell into an exhausted sleep.

Chapter Eight

Leo woke up at his desk, feeling stiff and sore after the few hours he’d spent hunched over the hard wooden table. He’d returned to the casino after the altercation with Roger because there was no way he could go to “his home,” as Roger had called it. That apartment was nothing but a shell, an empty set of rooms he was just about to give up so he could move in permanently with Cassie. He felt lonely nestled amongst his busy casino with all his employees, and knew he’d be a wreck if he went back to the almost empty place he’d barely set foot in since that night with Cassie after the play. That place wasn’t his home, she was. Nothing else mattered, and he missed her so badly that the last day felt like a year. He’d thought after she’d calmed down they would’ve been able to sort things out like normal, but he’d been wrong.

Yes, he’d had guys following her. He couldn’t help himself, but when they’d called to say she and her friends had hit a strip club, he knew she was on to him. Leo had kept his cool when he’d seen the photos of Roger and Cassie holding hands over the dinner table after he’d pushed her away before. Her tears and hopeless expression had consumed him, but rather than be jealous, he was left terrified. Leo swore he’d never be the reason she cried again, yet he’d already broken that self-imposed rule far too frequently.

Roger wasn’t a threat; he’d known that since before he’d even met the guy. Leo had learned right from the start that Roger and Cassie’s friendship was deep, while not sexual in any way, but last night he’d hated that Roger was the one having fun with his girl and not him. After being informed of their escapades, Leo had seen red. He’d gone straight down there and warned the stripper who’d been flirting with Cassie to back off, or else he’d put an end to his livelihood with a brick to that chiseled face of his. Part of him felt like going back there and doing as he’d warned. Just knowing Mario, or whatever his real name was, had been pawing over Cassie was enough to make his blood still boil. He forced his anger away. They were at a turning point, and there was no going back this time. Mario wasn’t to blame, and neither was Roger.

Leo pushed back his chair and headed to his bathroom to get cleaned up. There was nothing else for it; he had to tell Cassie the truth about his dreams. He’d hit a wall, and knew it was make or break time with the woman he loved.

On his way out of the building thirty minutes later, he bumped into Suzie, the receptionist the casino manager had warned him about when he’d first taken over. So far she’d seemed harmless, a little bit over the top with the makeup and blonde dye-job, but not a tease like Stuart had said. Now though, Leo barely recognized her. Suzie had dyed her hair dark brown and was wearing half as much makeup as usual. She looked natural, and prettier than Leo had even seen her.

“Morning, Mr. Solomon. You’re here early, or did you pull an all-nighter?” she asked, smiling up at him sweetly.

“Just heading home now. Are you on an early shift?” Leo replied in an attempt to remain courteous, while all he wanted was to get to Cassie. He wanted to make a start on rebuilding their relationship, even if it meant unearthing some of the things he’d tried so hard to keep buried.

“Yep,” she said, and Leo thought she seemed awfully bubbly for so close to dawn. “I’m going out tonight so switched shifts. My new boyfriend is taking me to see a play, it’s all very exciting.” Leo really didn’t care. He forced a smile and carried on his way, heading out into the cool morning air to retrieve his car from his private spot by the staff entrance.

Leo cursed under his breath when he went into Cassie’s apartment and found the alarm turned off. Even when she was inside, she had been told she should activate it so Roger would be alerted if anyone broke in. His exasperation was soon forced aside when he spotted Roger’s jacket hanging over the back of the sofa. He wasn’t asleep on it, in fact he was nowhere to be seen, and Leo’s stomach immediately lurched.

No way. She wouldn’t. They wouldn’t
. His heart was in his mouth, and Leo tried to prepare himself for the worst. If he found the man he’d trusted not to extort his closeness with her in bed with Cassie, there would be no holding back. He knew he’d kill him.

When he found Roger fast asleep, curled into a ball on the hallway floor, Leo was beyond relieved. He knew he never wanted to feel like that ever again—like she might want to cheat on him, or like he’d given her a reason to.

“Rog.” He shook him awake gently. “Are you down there acting as a protective friend or a guard dog? I need to know if you’re here to keep my girl company or if you’re gonna try and stop me getting in there and sorting my shit out.” There was no need or time for small talk or pleasantries. He was ready to throw down if necessary, but it wasn’t what he wanted.

“Just here to keep an eye on her, mate. Not to fight you,” Roger groaned in response, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“Good, then let me see you out.” Leo helped him up, thanked him, and then did just that.

***

Cassie stirred and groaned. Her stomach was rumbling—the first signal that her hangover was already creeping in—and she peeled open her eyes.
Only eight o’clock?
Not bad considering how late she’d gone to sleep. After she stretched and was rubbing her eyes roughly to clear the sleep away, a small cough alerted her to the presence of another person in her bedroom. Cassie sprang upright and looked down at the man watching her from the armchair across the room. Leo looked utterly exhausted. If he’d slept at all it couldn’t have been much. Two nights of unbearable distance between them had taken an incredible toll, and Cassie immediately softened, rather than still being angry with him.

“Hey,” was all she managed.

“I wasn’t calling you a whore.” His words caught her completely off guard, but she was glad he was there and seemingly ready to open up at long last. Cassie nodded, wanting him to know she’d heard him, but that she needed to hear more. “I keep having awful, vivid dreams. Like I’m being forced to relive the past. I know you’ve seen and heard me, and I’m sorry for what I said, but it wasn’t to you.” Leo let out a sigh and leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees while his head hung low on his shoulders.

Cassie forced herself to stay put. She wanted to go to him, to soothe his pain, but knew he needed to keep going. They were getting somewhere at last, so she wasn’t about to interrupt him now that he was finally offloading about his past. “There was a whore who looked like you. I convinced myself it was okay that I used her as practice because you were so fragile, and because I was such a sexual predator. Even after you were taken, I’m ashamed to say that I still booked her from time to time. With her, I somehow felt close to you, like you were still there instead of gone—snatched away and held prisoner while I festered behind like some kind of zombie.”

Her heart was pounding in her chest. Victor had mentioned a whore that looked like Cassie once, in his usual taunting way, but she’d never known if he’d been telling her the truth—until now. She wasn’t sure whether she wanted to cry, cuddle him, or throw something.

Leo started talking again before she could react, cutting off her inner turmoil, and Cassie stared at her hands as his words washed over her. “After you’d gone, I was a mess, and whenever I fucked her I was far from gentle. That’s what you heard. I was screaming those words at her, hating her for being with me when you weren’t, and I hated myself for touching her. I hated myself for needing her. I still do.”

“You’re a douchebag, Leonardo Solomon,” she told him as she looked back up. Cassie’s words were said with half-hearted seriousness. Overall, she was genuinely glad to hear the truth at long last. He didn’t object. In fact, Leo simply peered over at her, and he looked old all of a sudden, as though just that tiny snippet of honesty had taken a lot out of him. “I’m not the damsel in distress anymore, so stop treating me like I’m gonna fall apart with just a small bit of your truth. This closed-off attitude needs to stop, otherwise it’ll break us. Just talk to me, tell me how you feel and what’s eating you, okay?”

“Okay,” Leo conceded, and he climbed up out of the chair with slow movements that confirmed to her how tired he must be. Leo lay down on the bed next to her, and Cassie slid into his strong arms. She couldn’t bring herself to be mad at him any longer. It just wasn’t in her to punish his behavior when she knew he was struggling to control all of those emotions bubbling under his cool, hard exterior.

“When are you going to learn that I’m right
all
the time? Just do as you’re told and all of this will be so much easier,” she teased, and she loved the gruff laugh he afforded her.

“Oh dear, love. You really are with the wrong man,” he mumbled. It seemed to take every last bit of energy he had to peel off his clothes and slide under the covers, but he did it, and then pulled her back into his arms. Cassie let herself melt into his embrace and breathed Leo in. She’d missed him the night before. The distance had still been torturous, and she never wanted to go through that with him ever again.

When she felt Leo thrashing beside her a few hours later, Cassie forced herself awake and tried to leave his strong embrace. This was usually her cue to dive out of bed and watch as whatever nightmare plaguing him completed its torment before eventually releasing him. This time though, Leo somehow sensed her retreat and stopped her, grabbing Cassie and pulling her into him. They’d been spooning, her being the little one, and now his thickly muscled arms were wrapped around her along with his legs. She was cocooned in him. Her immediate instinct was to panic, but that was short-lived when soft words filtered through from his subconscious mind and filled the silence.

“How can she still be so goddam beautiful? Look at her, so broken and scared, yet radiant and gorgeous. She’s submissive to him, and he’s owning her, but she wants him to.” A sob escaped him and he held Cassie tighter. “She hates you, Leo. Keep it together. Don’t let Victor see how much you care,” he was murmuring in her ear. “Don’t let him know it’s affecting you. Don’t show him how much you miss her, how much you love her. Hold on, Cassie. I’ll save you, but you just have to hold on.”

“Leo, I’m here. I’m safe now,” she whispered through ragged breaths while he pinned her to the bed. Strangely, he wasn’t hurting her. If anything, his hold was strangely delicate and protective. Leo was so strong that his grip was utterly unyielding, but she liked it.

Cassie had known for a long time that she was attracted to danger. She’d felt it right from the moment she’d first met Leo in his mansion. He’d been intimidating and scary, but she’d been drawn to that fire inside of him. She’d also known just how easily he could crush her and ruin her if he chose to. According to her best friend, Hanna, he’d done exactly that time and time again to his previous conquests, but she’d still wanted him regardless. Cassie had enjoyed the chase. When she’d finally caved, she also loved the feeling of dominating herself in order to be submissive to him. It was the ultimate empowering feeling to submit to Leo, rather than feeling weak and possessed out of self-preservation like she’d had to with Victor.

With those memories flaring in her gut, she realized she’d always been that way. Cassie had let her world be ruled by the men in it for all of her adult life, and even now she was still the same. There was no fighting it, if anything she knew she wanted more. Being taken care of and led was freeing, and at least this time she’d given herself to her dominator willingly. In fact, she’d outright begged Leo to own her the night he’d come back into her life and to her apartment after the theater’s opening performance.

A wave of pleasure swept through Cassie, and she felt the last bit of shielding numbness she’d carried for so long subside. It was replaced by sheer euphoria, and when she felt the tip of his rock-hard cock press into her from behind, she wanted it to find its home. Cassie arched back into him, but he wasn’t at the right angle to accept the invitation. “Leo,” she sighed, desperately wanting him to wake up and take her.

Still pressing into her from behind, he grabbed her arms at the elbow and pulled them behind her back, pushing her shoulder blades together. Cassie’s face and chest were pressed harder into the mattress, while her lower half was still to the side, but she didn’t fight.

“Do you want to be free? Do it, Cassie,” he mumbled, and his voice caught in his throat. She suddenly knew exactly what he was dreaming of. It had to be the moment when she’d killed Victor right in front of him. Leo had held her oppressor in the same way he was holding her now, and she’d taken the chance she needed to be free of him at last. Cassie knew it was wrong to find satisfaction in that moment of sheer instinct and self-defense, but there was no denying it.

The memory was overwhelming her waking thought, just like it was haunting Leo’s dream. But instead of feeling frightened, Cassie felt as though she might burst into flames if he didn’t help her reach the explosive climax already building in her core.

She needed Leo to take her and give her some pleasure to associate with that memory forcing itself back to life between them. The transition had already begun, and she was no longer ashamed to admit that deep within lay a truth she’d never spoken aloud before—she’d enjoyed killing Victor.

Cassie summoned her strength and twisted in Leo’s grasp. She turned fully onto her belly, her hips moving in line with the rest of her body, and she felt him move with her. This time his hardness found its home, and like two pieces of a delicious puzzle, they slotted together. Her mind was alive with the memory of the moment she’d murdered her husband with his own knife, and she was well aware how soaked she was between her thighs. Cassie cried out when Leo slammed into her from behind and delivered her an almost instantaneous orgasm.