Authors: Heidi McLaughlin
Tags: #General Fiction, #Adult Contemporary, #rockstar, #romance, #music, #lost love
LIAM
“Hello,” I growl into the phone, pissed that someone is waking me up before the sun has even decided to rear its ugly head today. I squint at the clock, its red numbers showing me that it’s just after five in the morning. I’m supposed to be on vacation and I can’t even sleep in.
“Rough night, Cowboy? I thought this was a get in and get out trip? According to my calculations, you left three days ago. It would seem you’ve decided to spend some extra time there. What’s going on?”
“Jesus Christ, Sam it’s like five o’clock. What the hell do you want?”
“Well,” she pauses. I know she’s looking at her finger nails, probably thinking she needs another manicure or something. I don’t really care, I just want to sleep and forget yesterday ever happened. “When are you coming home?”
“Soon.” I’m too exhausted to play her game. I should’ve fired her a long time ago, but I didn’t and now I’m stuck.
“Liam,” she says my name so softly I know what’s coming. I’m in no mood to deal with her crap today.
“Not now, Sam.”
“I miss you. It’s been almost a week since we’ve seen each other. Let me come be there with you. You need me.”
“No.”
I hang up on her. I can’t deal with her and I definitely don’t want her here pretending we are more than what we are. My biggest mistake was sleeping with her. No, that’s not true. My biggest mistake was leaving Josie in her dorm room that night and not dragging her with me. If I had we’d be married and parents. Maybe we’d have another baby by now.
Hell maybe we’d be divorced and nothing would be any different. She’d still hate me.
I climb out of bed slowly and make my way into the shower. After my encounter with Josie last night I came back here to leave my bike and walk to the nearest bar. Not being in Los Angeles cramps my style a bit. It’s not like I can call someone to come pick me up and I knew I’d be too wasted to drive back last night.
I stand under the hot spray, allowing it to pulsate down on the top of my head. I think I’ve been dreading this day most of all. Secretly I was hoping it would never arrive, that my days would just replay themselves over and over again, like a music track I’m trying to dub.
I shut off the water once it turns cold and don’t bother to dry off as I fall back onto the bed. I could strangle Sam for waking me up. I know she does it on purpose because she doesn’t want me to forget she’s there… in the background pushing for the title of
girlfriend
. She loves to accompany me on the red carpet. The thought that the press thinks we’re a couple is thrilling to her. Sam wants the full package; the money, the fame and her face on every magazine and she thinks I’m the ticket. It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve told her.
I don’t want her.
I wake for the second time when the hotel phone rings. The front desk calls to tell me my suit is being brought up and that the rental car I ordered is waiting for me out front. I didn’t think showing up to my buddy’s funeral on my Ducati would be very appropriate.
I dress in my black pinstriped suit. Sam ordered three new dress shirts in basic colors, black, white and blue. I opt for white with a black tie, simple and sleek.
With one last look in the mirror I pocket my sunglasses. I may be known as Liam Page, but today I’m Liam Westbury and I’m going to mourn the passing of my friend.
The drive to the church is quick. I’m sitting in the parking lot contemplating my next step. I don’t want to take the attention away from Katelyn so I’m trying to just sneak in right before it starts, then I’ll be able to sneak out. I can pay my respects and say my peace at the cemetery before leaving town tomorrow.
When the last of the stragglers are in, I make my way toward the doors. Music plays from the inside, barely audible but it’s an instrumental of our high school fight song. You’d think Mason planned this himself.
I pull open the heavy door and stand there until it shuts quietly. I walk over to the guest book and sign my name so that when Katelyn looks back she’ll know I was here even if we didn’t talk.
“I didn’t think you’d show up.”
I turn to see Katelyn standing behind me. She’s wearing a knee length black dress with a black hat on. She doesn’t look a day over eighteen.
“I have no excuses Katelyn. I just came to pay respects.”
“I don’t care –”
“I’ll go. I’m not here to ruin your day. I’m very sorry for your loss.” I return the pen to the pedestal and nod at her. Her hand on my arm halts my escape. She wants to yell at me and I deserve it. I deserve everything she and Josie want to throw at me.
“I’m a pallbearer short,” she says, taking a deep breath. “I was hoping you’d show up, maybe a bit earlier than five minutes before the ceremony, but whatever. I’m not going to judge you, Liam. But I am going to ask you to walk Mason toward his final resting place and be by his side until he’s safe again.”
There are tears pooling in my eyes. I told myself I wouldn’t cry, but I can’t help it.
“I’d be honored.” I manage to get out before losing it all. She nods and tells me to follow her. We walk through a door and a collective gasp falls over the room. I recognize a few guys from high school, but the one that stands out is Nick. He being here is shocking. They were never friends in high school. Guess life changes a lot over ten years.
Katelyn tells everyone on the left side to shift down one. “He’d want to be on your left.” She places her hand on my face and leans in to kiss me on my cheek. Mason married a fine woman.
We receive our cue and heft Mason off the cart holding him up. When the vestibule doors open everyone turns. The hushed murmurs and finger pointing make me feel like I’m eating dinner in a crowded restaurant and they’ll all be asking for my autograph the minute my plate is taken away.
With Mason in the center, his flowers draped over his casket, the other pall bearers take their seats. I watch as Nick sits down next to Josie and pulls her hand into his. I’m seeing nothing but red, she won’t even look at me. But Noah waves at me and I wave back causing Nick’s face to turn an ugly shade of green.
When I look down a little girl is tugging at my suit, her hand slips into mine and she pulls me over to sit with her. She has to be one of Mason and Katelyn’s twins. The other one gets up and sits on my other side, holding my hand too. Katelyn looks at me and smiles. I don’t know if she made this happen, but I’ll be forever grateful.
This is my first funeral and hopefully my last. I never want to experience this ever again. As the pastor talks about Mason’s life, I realize how much I’ve missed. When I look over at Noah, he’s watching me and I wonder if he knows who I am. Did Josie ever tell him about me? Nick looks pissed and that sort of makes me laugh. I didn’t like him in high school and the fact that he’s holding my girl’s hand isn’t sitting all that well with me, but that’s my issue and something I’ll have to deal with.
I find it ironic that that he moved in on my girl when I wasn’t around. If it was anyone else, I wouldn’t care, but Ashford – it pisses me off.
“Is there anyone who would like to say a few things about Mason?”
I let go of the girls’ hands and stand up, straightening out my jacket. People are whispering as I make my way to the podium, but I don’t care. If I’m going to do this, I’m going to do it right.
I wink at Josie before clearing my throat and speaking into the microphone.
“Ten years ago I made the decision to change my life. In the process I lost the only family I truly cared about: Mason, Katelyn and Josie. I was selfish, confused and wanted away from the stigma of being Beaumont’s golden boy. What I never banked on was losing Mason, my best friend since kindergarten. He was my partner in crime and my go-to on the field. Everything about my life and who I was growing up was because of Mason. When I heard that the world had lost him, a piece of me died. For the first time in a long time, I cried. I wept for every moment that I missed with him. I missed his engagement to Katelyn, his wedding and the birth of his beautiful girls who have opened their amazing hearts to me even though I don’t deserve it. I let him down and for that I’ll always be sorry.
“Mason, my friend, I’ll do what I can to watch over your family and make sure they never want for anything.”
Katelyn wraps her arms around me as soon as I make it back to the pew. The twins both grab a hold of my hand and squeeze tight.
“My name’s Peyton. Will you watch football with me on Sunday?”
I look down at the little girl that is clearly all Mason with her Beaumont High football jersey on. “Hi Peyton, I’m Liam and I’d love to watch football with you.”
CHAPTER 8
JOSIE
Nick pulls me out of the church and into the parking lot. I knew he was pissed when I saw his face coming down the aisle, but it’s not like I knew Liam was going to show up here. Nick walks us behind the church and swings me around so that my back is against the wall.
“How long, Josephine?” God I hate it when people use my full name. It’s like I’m in trouble even though I’m an adult.
“He showed up last night.”
“You didn’t want to tell me?” I really thought Nick and I were better than this, that we had a stronger relationship.
“Nick, I’m not keeping anything from you. He showed up last night, we argued and he left. I didn’t know he was going to be here today and honestly I’m more focused on Katelyn. Today isn’t about Liam; it's about Katelyn and the girls.”
“How does he know Noah?”
I take a deep breath. “I don’t know,” I answer truthfully. I have my suspicions but I wasn’t going to ask Liam and I’m definitely not bringing this up with Noah.
Nick starts pacing, pulling at his blond hair. He talks to himself. It looks like he’s having a fight with an imaginary person.
“Tell Liam we want to meet with him later.”
“Why?” I ask curiously. Nick stops in front of me and grabs my arms, pinning me to the wall. I’ve never seen him like this before. This is a side of him that I don’t like.
“Because I’ll have my lawyer draw up adoption papers and he can sign his parental rights away.”
I can’t believe my ears. I know he wants to adopt Noah, but we’ve never discussed it. I don’t even know if this is something I want him to do. Noah’s mine, he doesn’t need to have Nick’s last name. Even if we are married, things can stay the same between them.
“Um…”
“Hey guys, Noah’s looking for you.” I look over to find Jenna standing just a few feet away. Nick moves away, letting go of my arms. I try not to wince when the blood starts flowing again. I smile at Jenna to let her know that everything is fine.
“Thanks, Jenna.” She smiles and walks away, leaving us to figure this shit out.
“Nick, just because Liam is here doesn’t mean anything.” I pull him into my arms. He relents and kisses me softly on the lips.
“I’m sorry, babe. I don’t know what came over me. Seeing him here and winking at Noah, I just… my blood started to boil. He may have created that boy, but this is my family. The sooner he’s gone the better.”
“I agree, but let’s not give him a reason to stay, okay?” Nick nods and leads me back to the crowd of people gathering. We find Noah and head to our car so we can follow the hearse and family car. The pall bearers need to be in line so they can be there too, standing guard, as my dad would say.
The funeral procession drives through the town, by the high school that has turned into a shrine for Mason. This week’s game was postponed. It’s the first time in Beaumont High history that the team won’t be taking the field. Mason touched so many people this loss will be felt for years to come.
When we pull into the cemetery, some people have already gathered. I try not to look around for Liam when I get out of the car, but my eyes wander. He’s spotted easily. He’s the guy with the single and some not-so-single women standing around.
“Give me a break,” Nick mutters as we get out of the car.
“It’s not like he can turn off who he is, Nick. You don’t see him signing autographs or anything. He’s standing with the other guys.”
“Are you defending him?”
I shake my head and grab Noah’s hand. We walk over to Mason's burial site and find a spot to stand.
“Your flowers look great, Josie.” A neighbor of Katelyn’s comes up to me. I don’t remember her name, but I should. I should know everyone in town. I thank her and she promises to stop by the shop.
“Mom, why are all those women talking to your old boyfriend?” I look at Noah and wonder how much he’s figured out. I want to ask him where he met Liam, but that will have to wait. I can’t help but look over at Liam. He looks at me and our eyes meet. I give him a soft smile and he shrugs.
“He’s a musician. I guess they want his autograph.”
“Well that’s dumb. If I was famous and my friend died I wouldn’t want to give out autographs.”
“I bet Liam is thinking the same thing, baby.”
As we drive to Katelyn’s to have Mason’s celebration of life I’m baffled that she wanted to have it at their home. Nick and I offered ours, but she was adamant, saying Mason would’ve wanted a party at his house.
A party?
I don’t feel like having a party. I feel like curling up in my oversized chair, wrapping myself in a blanket and watching old home movies. Nick has caught me doing that a few times since Mason left us, each time the look on his face the same. I knew he wasn’t happy I was watching. That he was probably questioning my devotion to him; those weren’t our memories but mine and Liam’s.
We are well into the “party” as Mason would’ve called it when Liam walks in. I’m trying not to judge, but he has a harem of girls following him. I can’t tell if he likes this or not. I used to know what every one of his facial features meant, but it’s been so long.
Peyton runs up to Liam and pulls on his suit jacket. He smiles and bends down so that he’s level with her. He pulls on one of her pigtails and she lets out the most amazing laugh.
“Are thems your girlfriends?”
I can’t help but laugh and lean closer so I can hear the answer. Half of me would like to know more about him, but the other half, the logical half, doesn’t want to care and can’t wait for him to leave.