Forever My Girl (4 page)

“Knock it off you two,” Mason says as he slaps me in the back of the head. “If you give him a stiffy during the game, some linebacker is going to break his pecker.”

We all start laughing. She kisses me goodbye, telling me to kick ass. She never wishes me good luck, just to kick ass.

I slip on my helmet and run out onto the field. We run through the cheerleaders and the student body. Music is blaring as we are announced onto the field. Parents and fans are on their feet in the stands, yelling loudly.

Mason and I go off to the side and warm-up, always together. We have a routine and we aren’t about to break it now.

When the whistle blows, I take center with Mason on my left. The play is for him. He needs only one hundred yards to break the state record for rushing and I’m going to make sure that happens tonight. Our first play is a hand-off to him; he breaks the first tackle for a thirty yard gain.

We do this over and over until his dad holds up a sign showing 100 and I know. I hand Mason the ball and watch him jog it over to his dad. They hug and the fans go nuts. Mason Powell just set the state’s all-time leading rushing record with nine thousand five hundred and two.

I remember that game as if it was yesterday and standing here makes it feel like it was. I can almost smell the concession stand cooking hotdogs and popcorn. I can hear the cheers and feel the vibration from stomping feet on the bleachers.

I can still see Mr. Powell’s face when Mason broke that record. I wanted my dad to look at me like that.

As I walk around I see us everywhere. The four state titles we won in football and two in baseball. Nick Ashford is staring back at me, his smug smile as he holds his most valuable player award. He wanted to be me. When he came to Beaumont he followed me around. He was always hanging out with us like he was our life-long friend, when all he wanted was my girl.

Other than Mason, I don’t know what happened to any of my classmates. I didn’t keep in touch because I had nothing to say and didn’t want to hear what a failure I was for dropping out of college. I had to make the best choice for me and I did even though I know I hurt everyone that I loved, especially
her
.

When a group of young kids come pouring in I duck into the bathroom. I’m not expecting them to know who I am, but their teachers might and I don’t want to sign autographs or pose for pictures. I just want to be me even if it’s short-lived.

When I come out of the john there’s a young boy standing at the counter with his hands under the water. I look at him through the mirror. He’s crying even though he’s trying to wash away the tears by splashing water on his face.

He’s sort of small and his hair is a bit longer than normal for boys his age. Maybe he’s being bullied and hiding in here. I hate bullies. Mason and I wouldn’t stand for any bullying when we were in school. We made sure of it.

“You okay, bud?” I ask against my better judgment. I don’t want to know because I don’t want the confrontation, but I can’t stand seeing kids cry.

He nods and covers his face. “I’m not supposed to talk to strangers,” he says.
Smart kid
.

“You’re right. I just want to make sure you don’t need your teacher or anything.”

“No, I’m okay.”

“Good deal.” I wash my hands looking back at the boy through the mirror. He’s watching my every move, eying the tattoos on my forearms, probably wondering if I’m going to kidnap him now that he’s spoken to a stranger.

“Hey Mister, I know you.”

I wipe my hands on the paper towel without giving much away. “You do, huh?” I say with no eye contact.

“Yeah, you’re the one kissing my mom in the video I have.”      

I think back to my many music videos and don’t remember kissing anyone. “Did you see this on TV?” I ask.

“No, you were in a football uniform.”

I freeze. I’ve only ever kissed one girl while wearing a football uniform. I look at the boy, really look him over. His dark hair and elongated chin and his piercing blue eyes. It can’t be.

There’s no fucking way.

“Oh yeah, who’s your mom?” I ask, playing it off.

“Josie Preston.”

“Is that so?” I ask barely able to make the words come out of my mouth.

He nods and smiles real big showing some missing front teeth. “Did you kiss my mom a lot?”

What do I tell this boy? I can’t exactly tell him the truth, especially not knowing what’s going on. “Yeah, your mom was real beautiful. I bet she still is.”

He nods in agreement. I used to think my mom was the prettiest until I couldn’t stand to look her at her and watch her robotic ways.

“I gotta go. See ya around,” he says. Before I have a chance to respond, he’s out the door.

I run out of the restroom and museum as fast as I can. The boy tried to talk to me as I went by, but I ignored him. I need answers and whether I’m ready or not, she is going to give them to me.

I have to slow down when I hit Main Street. I can’t afford someone getting suspicious or risk being pulled over. I park across from her shop and watch the door for a minute. I’ve known about the florist shop for a few years. When our anniversaries came up or I was homesick, I
Googled
her like a crazy stalker and found out what she was up to, but nothing I read said anything about a kid.

I drive around until its dark, waiting for closing. I don’t want an audience. I pull up just as she steps out with a short red head. They hug goodbye and she looks at me. Her features are soft and she’s not scared of this stranger on a motorcycle covered in black. She doesn’t know who I am, she’s just being friendly.

I have no game plan as I watch her step back inside. She switches the
Open
sign to
Closed
. If I’m going to do this, I need to do it now before she locks the door. Leaving my helmet on, I open the door, the bells alerting her to my presence.

“We’re closing up,” she says from somewhere in the shop. I can’t see her, but I can feel her in the room.

I take off my helmet and pull off my gloves setting them on the counter. She doesn’t see me when she comes around the corner.

“How old is he, Jojo?”

CHAPTER 6

JOSIE

My hands fly to my mouth in a lame attempt to catch the gasp escaping. The vase I’m holding crashes to the floor, the water drenching my shoes, socks and jeans. I step around the broken glass and destroyed flowers for a better visual. I close my eyes before looking at the man standing at my counter.

It’s him.

I can sense him; feel him moving across my skin like he’s never left. When I open my eyes, he’s staring at me. I remind myself that I need to be strong. I call the shots here.

“What are you doing here?” I barely squeak out. My voice is hoarse as if I’ve been yelling for hours on end. It’s not strong and determined. It’s not the authoritative voice I’ve practiced in the mirror a thousand times over for this moment.  

He moves toward me. I step back and put up my hand. I don’t want him to come any closer. He looks dejected. He puts his hands into his pockets and looks down. I don’t want to look at him, but I can’t help it. It’s been ten years and he’s changed so much, yet everything is the same in the way he looks at me.

“Jojo.”

“Don’t call me that,” I blurt out.

“Why not? It’s your name.”

I shake my head, biting the inside of my cheek. I know why he’s here and I want to hate Mason for it. I want to kick and scream and punch him for doing this to me… us. Everything was okay and now it’s not.

He smirks and shakes his head, taking a step back and leaning against the counter. I break eye contact with him when he bites his bottom lip. I clear my throat and move away from the broken glass.

“What are you doing here, Liam?”

He shrugs. “Do you have something to tell me?”

I shake my head, bringing my hand to my forehead to push off the pending headache. This is not happening right now, it can’t be. “No, we have nothing to talk about. You made that very clear that night in my dorm room.”

Liam moves away from the counter, he stops at a few of the plants nearby, rubbing their leaves between his fingers before stalking toward me. I have nowhere to go. I could run, maybe scream and alert the neighboring business next door, but what good would that do? One look at Liam means their golden child is back in town. Everyone will be so happy.

“What’s his name, Josie?” he asks bluntly as he get closer to me.

“Why do you care?” I fire back. His eyes throw daggers. I don’t care if he’s some hot shot musician. He left me. “You should go.”

“Nah,” he says shaking his head. He steps closer and I step back. I can’t move anymore without falling into a display of flowers. He holds up his hands. “I just want to talk. I don’t think you want me to start asking questions, do you?”

I shake my head no. Liam asking questions throughout town is the last thing I want. I don’t want Noah’s name brought up and people pointing fingers at him, even though some already do.

“How old is he, Jojo?” he asks in the same tone he would tell me that he loved me in when we’d walk from class to class or when he’d drop me off after a date.

“He’ll be ten in June.”

He steps back and looks at me. I can see the hurt in his eyes but I don’t care. He left me. He left me to raise a baby on my own.

“What’s his name?” the hurt evident in his voice, but I can’t let that get to me. I can’t. I need to be strong.

“Noah.”

“When can I meet him?”

I laugh at his question and take this opportunity to move away from him. He stays where he is. I move behind the counter and start putting my things away. “You can’t, there’s no need.”

“What the fuck do you mean I can’t? I have a son. A son that you kept from me and you’re telling me I can’t meet him?”

“What makes you think he’s yours?” I regret the words the moment they leave my mouth. Sheer pain washes over his face and I feel a small amount of elation for hurting him.

“You’re telling me you cheated on me? Is that it, Jojo?” I don’t have time to react before he’s next to me. His cologne overcomes me, making my heart beat faster. Over the years I’ve wondered if he’d changed the Burberry cologne I bought him, but he hasn’t and I have to fight every desire I have to reach out and touch him.

“I love you, Jojo,” he whispers into my ear. He moves with fluidity and desire. I know I’m his first, I’ve never doubted that. I bury my head into the crook of his neck; he smells so good, desirable, and sexy. My body sings a song and only he has the melody.

I look into his eyes, his forehead rests upon mine. His mouth drops open when my fingers trail down his body, pushing him deeper.

“You’re so perfect,” he kisses me in between the words, showing me how much he loves me.

“I love you, Liam.”

“You’re forever my girl.”

“Why are you flushed, Jojo?”

“Please stop calling me that,” I all but beg. He steps away and leans on the other side of the counter.

“Sorry,” he says. He starts playing with his lower lip and I want to slap his hand away and tell him to knock it off. “Did you cheat on me?”   

I can’t answer him. I don’t want to answer him. Even if I did it’s none of his business, but he knows me. He knows I didn’t, he’s just waiting for confirmation.

“You don’t get to come in here and demand answers, Liam. You’ve been off playing rock star. You’re the famous Liam Page. You left this,” I spread my arms around and point to myself. “You left me. There’s no room for you here.”

He laughs. “That’s not very hospitable of you. Whatever happened to the old adage that you can always go home?”

“People don’t disappear without a freaking phone call or letter for ten years. People don’t show up at your dorm and break up with the one they said they love and never return phone calls.” I hide my face behind my hands. I didn’t want this to happen. I could’ve gone twenty years and been okay without seeing him again. I fight to keep the tears away. I’ve shed enough tears over this boy to last a lifetime. I can’t shed anymore.

“People change,” he says.

“I don’t want to do this with you.”

“Right now?” he asks.

I shake my head. “No, never. I have nothing to say, Liam. You said what you had to that night and you didn’t wait to hear what I had to say or answer any of my calls. I don’t have to listen to your excuses and I definitely don’t owe you anything.”

I turn away so I don’t have to look at him anymore. I need to stay strong and level-headed. I need to channel the breathing techniques that the doctor gave me before I had Noah.

“You expect me to walk away knowing I have a son?”

I snicker. “Yeah I expect you go walk out the door, get on your fancy bike, go back to your celebrity girlfriend and back to wherever it is you came from. There’s nothing here for you and I don’t want you hurting my son. I don’t want him to know you just so you can walk away and out of his life for the next ten years.”  I wipe a tear that drops from my eye. I will not show him the effect he has one me.

“I don’t have a girlfriend.”

“Oh my god, Liam, from everything I just said you pick out the girlfriend part?” I shake my head. When I turn back around he’s looking down at the ground.

“We’ve moved on and you’re not part of our lives. Noah doesn’t need you, he doesn’t even know you so please just go and don’t come back.”

Liam nods his head. He doesn’t make eye contact with me as he walks by. I watch his body, the same body that I know every inch of as it moves around my counter to where his helmet is resting.

“See you around, Josephine.”

He’s only called me Josephine one other time in my life, the night he broke up with me. Once the door closes and he’s on his bike I break down. I fall to the ground, clutching my sides as I cry. Cry for ten years of missing him and him missing everything, including Noah.

CHAPTER 7