Forever (This #5) (9 page)

He kisses my forehead. “Take a quick cat nap. I’ll go check on a few patients one last time before we leave. Just page me when you’re ready, okay?”

I nod. “Thank you.”

Two months, Samantha
. It’s been almost two months since you last saw Joe.
You’ve not been tired the entire time
. I keep thinking there’s a decision to be made, but the reality is, Joe pretty much made it for me. And no matter how hard I try, I can’t accept it.

Rolling over, I pull the sheets over my head. These rooms are freezing. No matter how many linens we use, it’s never enough. It’s mainly my nose. Instead of it feeling like a soft piece of cartilage, it’s hardened, and I swear given the opportunity, it could pierce the Titanic. There are no windows in these rooms, so I have no idea how long I’ve been asleep, but my eyes no longer feel like they are being tugged by anchors. Surely it couldn’t have been too long because I don’t remember having a dream, and I’m thankful in a way. Since Gabe came back in our life, peaceful rest has been a thing of the past. I throw my legs around the side and slowly sit up, letting my body acclimate to the change in position. Gabby has never remembered what we went through, and she’s forgiven Gabe like the only thing he did was drop one of her two ice cream cones in Gatlinburg. Like what he did wasn’t significant, life-changing,
life-destroying
. But I remember everything in vivid detail when I do dream.

“Nanana boo boo, you can’t catch me,” Gabby teases. Her thumbs are in her ears, her palms facing out, and her hands are moving. She sticks her tongue out at me. So, I do it back, laugh, and start chasing her around the coffee table.

Gabby’s long hair blows from the whirl in the air as she runs from me, continuously blowing raspberries with her mouth, effectively spitting on me. Gross. As I swipe the moisture away, Gabby reaches her hand out to tag me, but I dodge her. Instead of her arm making contact with me, the momentum increases as her hand connects with the glass candy jar in the center of the old table. The force sends it flying through the air, as if in slow motion, and I watch it crash into the hardwood floors. My body slams into Gabby’s as it shatters and breaks into a million pieces.

We both freeze, our eyes speaking a thousand unspoken words.

“I’ll get it,” I say. “Just sit on the couch. Be still and quiet.”

Tears stream down Gabby’s face as she plops onto the sofa. “I’m sorry.”

“Shhh.” I put my pointer finger up to my lips. “It’s okay.”

It’s not okay. Dad stumbles into the room, his eyes squinted, the lines of his forehead crumpled. “What the fuck happened?” My stomach lurches at his words.

“Daddy, I’m so sorry. We were playing. She didn’t mean to do it.” By this time, I’ve gotten the dustpan, and I sweep the shards of glass into it, hoping this will all blow over. It’s just a stupid candy jar. “I’m cleaning it all up, I promise. It was my fault.”

His head snaps back to Gabby, whose sobs are only increasing. She’s so much younger than me, yet she seems to sense the weight of the situation. He lunges at her. “You little good for nothin’ brat. You destroy everything.” He points his finger. “You’ll never amount to anything because all you do is cry. Nobody wants a damn cry baby. All you do is screw everything up.”

The taste of salt seeps past my lips into my mouth as tears billow down my cheeks. Gabby tucks her legs under her, her sobs quieting as I bring my finger back to my mouth, trying to coach her on how to calm him. She immediately puts her head down, as if she’s an abused puppy dog.

“Girl, you look at me when I’m talking to you. Do you hear me?” His tone escalates, the volume increasing. Gabby nods. “Answer me, dammit!”

“Yes.”

Taking a step forward, his large hand strikes her petite, tear-stained cheek. “You can’t even fuckin’ answer me correctly.” He reaches down, spanking her leg, leaving his palm print on her delicate skin.

“Daddy, stop,” I beg. He’s never hit us, never physically hurt us. “Please stop.”

“You stay out of this. This is between me and your sister. You understand?”

“Yes, sir.”

He glares back at Gabby. “See how your sister respects me? When I ask you something, you say yes, sir.” Spit sprays through his clenched teeth.

“Yes, sir,” Gabby says more loudly, her head still tucked down.

He hits her again. “You look at me when you talk.”

Her big, hazel eyes glance up at him under her dark lashes. “Yes, sir.”

“I can’t even stand to look at you. You’re nothing but a useless piece of —”

Before he can finish his sentence, the door swings. The knob puts a hole in the wall before bouncing back and nearly hits our mother. “Just what the hell do you think you’re doing?” Mom’s eyes are bulging as she drops the bags she’d been holding. In an instant, she’s at Gabby’s side. “What have you done, Gabe?” Tears spill from her lids as she takes Gabby into her arms and rocks her. “What have you done?”

I continue to clean the glass, barely looking up to watch the events unfolding before my eyes. I know better than to do anything other than that.

“All she does is cause trouble. Get her away from me.”

Mom’s face turns to me. “Go to your room now, Samantha.” Turning to Gabby, she motions. “Both of you.”

I wrap my arm around Gabby’s waist, and as we run down the hall, I hear Mom’s calm, steady voice. “You’ve been drinking?”

“Fuck, here we go again. What I do in my spare time is none of your damned business.” Each of the words is long and drawn out. The walls are thin, and his screams are loud enough I’m sure even the neighbors hear.

“It is when my children are involved. Get out. Now.”

“This is my house, you little bitch.”

“Fine, then we’ll leave.”

“You can’t afford to leave me. You’re nothin’ but a whore. You’ll never be able to make it on your own.”

“Watch me.” Mom’s voice rises for the first time since she’s walked into the house. “Girls, let’s go.”

I grab Gabby’s hand, throw a few of our favorite things into a bag, and we run together through the hall. Mom motions us through the door like a first base coach in a baseball game. “Hurry!”

She pushes us out as the sound of wood on wood slams behind us. The sky’s clear, the weather completely calm. I am blinded by the sun. The heat of the rays sears my skin. I am forever marked and he never even touched me.

Blinded. My eyes flash open.

My life was forever changed after that round of tag, but Gabby’s life was wiped clean when she disassociated all her memories. She got a fresh slate. She became even more introverted than she had been. After years of safety, she started to become more social, and she finally gained some confidence while she was with Ian, her high school sweetheart turned douchenozzle. He shattered her all over again by sleeping with her best friend. She’d let the walls of her fortress down, and look what that did for her.

My blood starts to boil, my hands ball into a fists, and I grind my teeth. If Gabe thinks he can come in and take her away from me again—to destroy our relationship by his mere existence in her life—he’s got another thing coming. Likewise, if he thinks she’s going to persuade me to follow suit in accepting he’s a reformed, recovering alcoholic, he’s lost his mind. I’d just started to consider letting the gates around my heart open, but then he came back. My fortress is now fierce—impenetrable.

I shake my head before lifting my chin. Gabe doesn’t even deserve occupancy in my thoughts, so I push him to the back of my mind and focus on the rest of the weekend.

The space in this little on-call room is so tight, I don’t even have to stand to flip the light switch. My eyes close for a few moments, then I check the time on my watch. I’ve slept about twenty minutes. It’s amazing how much of a difference that little bit of time can make. The bag with my change of clothes is on the floor. I guess Ryan brought it in for me. After unzipping it, I pull the skinny jeans, sweater, and scarf out along with a pair of Ugg boots. I transfer the pager from my scrubs to my purse, dial Ryan’s pager number on my cell, and shove it into my back pocket. Just as I do, the door swings open.

Ryan’s eyes sparkle against the light. “I was waiting on you on the other side.” He motions to the gray locker type room where we keep our stuff. “I didn’t think you’d be too much longer. You look gorgeous.”

“Like I haven’t worked for thirty-six hours?”

“You look gorgeous no matter what.”

My chest constricts so tight to where I can barely breathe. Maybe I was just tired before when I questioned this with him. “Thank you. You ready?” He extends his hand toward the door. “After you, my love.”