FOREWORD (12 page)

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Oral Sex

DAN

I am in my late thirties, hold several degrees and am happily married to a woman who fills all my dreams except those sexual.

I’ve had mild sexual fantasies since mid-teens, when I was still a virgin and much in love with a girl a year older than I, who hardly knew I existed – except at dancing class, where she needed me as a partner, the only one there tall enough for her. We used to ride occasionally with other schoolmates on group horseback picnics. My early fantasies visualized riding along with her (we never did), and then coming to a secluded glade, where she would lie on the grass (or often, for some reason I didn’t understand, on a wooden picnic table which happened to be there in the glen), and I would caress her, kiss her, slowly remove her boots and riding breeches, stroke her tummy and bush, then climb up on the table and make love with her. (With my own repressed upbringing, I’m sure that even if I had ever succeeded in getting her to go riding alone with me, I would have been far too shy to have taken the first step to get that scenario moving, although God knows I re-hearsed it often enough in my mind!)

In common with most males, I have always had a consuming interest in female genitalia. I am an inveterate crotch watcher and always have been, even on occasion to the point of inadvertently embarrassing the object of my scrutiny. Also an inveterate and confirmed bottom watcher. The current styles of tight jeans which so closely embrace callipygian beauty, molding it to its most rounded and graspable form, are a delight to this ole roving-eyed male. Ditto the jeans cutting deeply into the pubic area, demarcating so clearly the Men In Love

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full lips of the vulva for all to see, and showing the location of that lovely “gateway to heaven.”

I have come to know, with absolute certainty, that if I had been a child of more primitive times, I would have been –

literally (as I am now figuratively) – a worshiper of the Glorious Female Cunt. If a painter or sculptor, I am sure I would be spending all my time painting or sculpting heroic-sized copies of that most beautiful and most awe-inspiring creation of a benevolent deity. I have an orchid fixation, too; some years ago, one of the large format women’s magazines had a series of half a dozen or so full page color photos, extreme close-ups, of orchids. Those were the most sensuous pictures of flowers I have ever seen, and they reminded me (and the illusion still holds to this day) of fantastically beautiful and colorful cunts of exotic design, full of promise of pure pleasures beyond any formal sexual experience. And ever since, I think of female organs as orchids, as being in every way as beautiful and seductive and full of promise as orchids.

My fantasies revolve about that most delightful of crea-tions, the Glorious Female Cunt. I love to look at my partner’s body, and to tell her what a beautiful cunt she has and how much I want to kiss it and taste and caress it with my tongue, and how much I want to tease and caress her clit, and bring it to a thunderous, star-bursting exploding release. So my fantasies are often replays of the actual image of a recent session of lovemaking, with much embellishing and lingering delight in rerunning all the foreplay of fellatio and cunnilingus. The climax of my masturbatory fantasy is when I enter my partner, but the most exquisite and enjoyable part is my adoration of the Glorious Female Cunt.

DONALD

I am a young-looking forty-eight year old, five-ten, one hundred eighty pounds, divorced, and have acquired an advanced degree. Women seem to be attracted to me, and I have Nancy Friday

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on occasion taken advantage of this, but much prefer a close and meaningful relationship with one person. My youngest partner was twenty-six years my junior.

My erotic specialty, which I enjoy very much, is eating cunt. It is very pleasing to me to have my partner pump her crotch against my face as she nears climax and hear her squeals of pleasure as she comes. I also find it comforting in the sixty-nine position to “nurse” on each other, not try to stimulate her, or she me, just gently caress with our tongues, and hold and softly suck on each other with our mouths. It is very pleasant to go to sleep this way. Quite naturally I think, my desire to please my partner with my lips and tongue created a desire for her to reciprocate.

I have gone down on about ten women since I began lapping cunt about thirty years ago. The only one who did not like it was my wife, who thought I was queer, although on those rare occasions when she let me go down on her she did come.

Since my divorce I’ve enjoyed only five women. I know there could have been more if I had been interested. Two of these five have been deep commitments. The first commitment was with Peg and lasted three years, and quite naturally she is one facet of my fantasy. The other fantasy partner, Ann, is my current partner. Neither of these two have enjoyed the pleasure of making love to a woman. They are both excellent lovers, and I am sure they would enjoy caressing the smooth soft texture of a cunt’s inner lips with their tongues.

We, myself and each partner, have fantasized about it – and both have expressed their willingness to try. Perhaps some day we will. I think of the pleasure of Ann and me kissing and caressing with our tongues Peg’s inner thighs....

Gradually we near her cunt, and I reach it first. I gently caress the outer lips and then carefully probe with my tongue –

and slowly penetrate the inner lips as Ann watches with her face only inches from mine. Then I slowly withdraw as she for the first time duplicates with her tongue the probing and caressing I have just done. I watch as she becomes more and Men In Love

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more involved in licking, sucking and lapping. She is aware of how close my face is to hers as she laps, and she occasionally stops and smiles at me, and I lean in and briefly kiss her mouth before she returns to her newfound pleasure of lapping cunt. She becomes totally involved in bringing Peg to climax, and Peg, with considerable pleasure, achieves a fantastic orgasm as she pumps her cunt in Ann’s face.

Then, and only then, does Ann look at me with an inquisitive smile on her face, in effect asking if I had enjoyed watching as much as she had enjoyed eating it. I smile back and gently kiss her to let her know I thought she was beautiful.

Later Peg and I repeat this same fantasy on Ann. Of course still later they suck on me, and I come. Then we form a daisy chain, nursing on each other until we drift off to sleep.

Both Peg and Ann enjoy sucking my cock, and I get considerable pleasure from watching it disappear in their mouth.

I sometimes wonder what a cock would feel like in my mouth

– and how exciting it would be to have it suddenly explode and my mouth fill with come. Sometimes after Ann sucks me off she kisses me, and shares my load of come with me. So the taste and texture of it would not be new to me. When I do think about sucking cock I can’t relate it to anyone I know. I did suck cock as a kid of twelve or fourteen, and as I recall I enjoyed it then, though I never sucked until my partner came.

Perhaps if Ann and I become involved in a four-way I will try it.

My sexual pleasure comes more from giving pleasure than receiving it, and I’m sure I would feel the same about sucking cock as I do about lapping cunt. Perhaps this is why I cannot fantasize an owner for the cock I’d like to suck. I’d want him to be at the same place I was mentally.

Obviously I’m very oral in my lovemaking – haven’t mentioned fucking at all – though I do come faster fucking. Perhaps my oral preference is because thirty years ago when I started lapping, the pill hadn’t been invented – and my partners couldn’t get pregnant using their mouths.

Nancy Friday

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Or, perhaps, it’s because I live in my head. I love to look at a cunt up close; to smell the warm, faintly musky odor it emits during an unplanned lovemaking session; to feel the soft smooth walls of the cunt with my tongue – especially when the cum’s moisture is providing the lubricant for my tongue; to savor the faint sweet taste as I lap; and even the sound is a turn-on-both the sound of my lapping and her moans of pleasure. I love the soft warmth of her cunt hair against my mouth, and the feeling of her whole cunt in my mouth when I am sucking hard. All of these things happen in my head where I live – it’s not like fucking which happens

“down there.”

I love these fantasies. They fill me with hope. It has long been my conviction that oral sex is the key: If women could be made to feel heart and soul that what is between their legs is lovable, it would be an enormous step toward feminine self-esteem.

And yet, how many times have I titled and retitled this chapter? Warmed by the extravagant ardor of such men as Dan (above), I forgave all past disparaging remarks from men about women’s anatomy, and called these pages “Cunt Crazy.”

“Nancy, if you use that word,” warned a male psychiatrist friend, one I know is sympathetic to women, “women readers will just hear the outrageous syllable and turn off. From then on, they will discredit anything further you have to say, no matter how positive.”

He was right. I was never comfortable with that title. It was an effort at false bravado, to use men’s language instead of my own. While I warm and glow when Dan euphemistically speaks of women’s “gateway to heaven,” when Donald (above) describes the same activity as “lapping cunt,” I feel deeply offended and turn off. I retitled the chapter “I Could Eat You Up.”

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“Nancy, you are losing the cool voice of authority by treating this subject with humor,” warned my female editor. The verbs men use are
eating, slurping, lapping,
their nouns are cunt and pussy. If I have sedately chosen in the end to title this chapter “Oral Sex,” it is because my own semantic ir-resolution illustrates the ambivalence women feel about the content of these fantasies.

How can a woman be proud of what she has been taught to call “down there”? How can she take men’s talk of “ambro-sial female fluids” as heartfelt, if in the next breath the whole business is called sucking twat? Even as her lover moves to put his head down between her legs, she searches his face for a frown, looks for stiffness in his shoulders; she is certain he dislikes what he is doing. Praying that he will not resist, she makes a show of pushing him away. “No,” she says, giving him another chance to withdraw. When he does, she takes it as confirmation. “I always knew he hated it.” During my years of research on women’s sexuality, one complaint has come up more than any other: “All he wants is to get off himself. Once he comes, it’s finished. What about me? And the “me” in female orgasm is the clitoris. Arguments about clitoral vs. vaginal orgasm go on and on; what is known beyond debate is that stimulation of the clitoris by the tongue is an almost can’t-miss proposition.

This chapter would seem to solve the dilemma. Isn’t it telling each sex that they both want the same thing? Far from taking the old macho stance that there, is something essentially low, trivial, foolish, or base about the vagina – use it like a Kleenex and forget it – these men adore it. Judging from these pages, men want nothing more than to worship women with their tongues. Nothing has surprised me more –

not even the discovery that men more often turn the sword of S&M against themselves than against women than the joy with which so many men fantasize going down on women.

The question is: Where are these men in reality? How many sexually adventurous women have told me that after a night’s total abandon – when they allowed their consuming Nancy Friday

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pleasure in sex to be seen – they never heard from the man again. The answer, of course, is that this is a book about what men want in
fantasy
. To say they would be wholeheartedly ready for the same thing if they got it in real life is naive.

Note how often they happen to have chosen to marry women who will not permit oral sex. If they met a real woman, in real life, who pushed her pussy in their face, would they be overjoyed? Would they take her home to meet mother?

And yet, and yet ... let’s give credit where it is due. While some men may not be willing to put their mouths where their fantasies are, it is also true that among the several thousand from whom I heard, only a handful ever used the vagina as the focus of humiliation or degradation. When men speak disparagingly about genitals, it is almost always their own.

If many men put their wives on a pedestal and then complain that she is too pure to be thought of in connection with oral delights, isn’t even this a sign of change? Twenty years ago they would not have complained – they’d have been proud of it

Part of making something come true is to believe in it yourself. I have long felt that women’s fear that men hated cunnilingus was in part, at least, simple projection. I would encourage every woman to try to take in the fervor with which these men fantasize about kissing, loving, nibbling, sucking, licking, and fondling the vagina. Part of the reason men may not be ready for it yet is that women aren’t either.

FRED

I am a “cunt man,” but though I have spoken to a number of my friends, quite frankly I find that the intensity of my interest – and fantasies – entirely outmatches any of their feelings on that score. Not all cunts fascinate me; but as soon as mental rapport with a woman develops, and some emotional involvement, I think first of adoring her cunt with Men In Love

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kisses and loving long licks, and then examining it with a childlike adoration, noting in great detail the very minute anatomical differences in each sweet pussy (perhaps far more clinically than a doctor would). It seems to bring me great joy, which has always been shared by the excited lady herself, as the examination is always interspersed with loving long licks and nibbles on the clit. In my fantasies, too, I think of those lovely flowerlike cunts and lovingly fondle my circumcised penis till I reach a spine-chilling orgasm. But it is not only the sight of them,
but more importantly, their individual smells that transport me.
I wish Chanel or Avon could bottle a cunt-aroma/ scent for bedtime sniffing!!!