FOREWORD (35 page)

My second favorite fantasy is to be with two very feminine bisexual women. They make love to each other for a very long time, while I watch. Again there is lots of openmouthed kissing while I just watch and get really turned on. After they have loved each other thoroughly, they suck me off and we all go to sleep in a big bed.

My third favorite fantasy is one that I believe is shared by many men, even though I’m sure many of them would not admit it. In fact, I’m not sure you should print it. I surely would not want to encourage a potential rapist or anyone who might be unstable in any way.

Anyway, I’d like very much to make love to a very young girl. In my fantasy, it is someone who knows me very well, and trusts me, and someone whom I can trust. She is young enough to be without pubic hair, but old enough to have small firm breasts.

I don’t know or really care if she is a virgin or not. But she knows about sex and enjoys it. We have lots of time and privacy and I undress her and give her a bath. (Or we take a bath together.) As I dry her off, I start caressing and kissing her, body all over and very slowly work my way to that lovely Nancy Friday

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hairless pussy, and open it up and lick and kiss it for hours and hours, until she is exhausted.

If she were not a virgin, I would then fuck her, but I would not hurt her in any way, not do anything she did not want me to do.

A typical fantasy in this chapter begins with a man watching a woman masturbate. Very often, she is his wife. The scenario then proceeds to the entrance of a second woman.

The two of them make love. The climax is reached when the man reveals himself, and there is a sexual trio.

The progression is logical, and can be seen to follow a double curve. As the man’s anxiety diminishes, his erotic desires grow. First, he is aroused by the idea that women (his wife!) actually do like sex. They masturbate, just like him.

Next, seeing two women getting along together sexually so well, so lovingly, allows him to enter the fantasy, knowing the women will not be hostile toward one another, nor tam on him in jealous fury. Above all, since his wife has broken the rules, she cannot censure him for also wanting to. Instead, as we see again and again in other fantasies in this chapter, the women pool their energy and talent to take care of him.

The usual idea is that a man who wants to go to bed with two women is expressing himself as a sexual tiger. The fact is that in all these fantasies, strong elements of male passivity (or receptivity) are being expressed.
The women do to him.
In Steven’s fantasy (above), they strap him to the barber chair and have their way with him. Force may have entered, but there is never pain; it’s not masochism that is intended. These aren’t women out to hurt men; they want to satisfy their own lusty appetites while sexually satisfying his, too.

Indeed, what strikes me about the fantasies in this chapter is the strong element of trust established in them. We say that trust is the basis of women’s orgasm – she trusts herself and the man enough to let go of self-control. The male orgasm may have a bigger element of the physiological, but the erec-Men In Love

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tion is dominated by the mind. How much does the man trust his own body not to betray him?

Afraid that he may not be able to satisfy the women ...

knowing that women are potentially multiorgasmic while he cannot repeat with nearly the same frequency ... many a man refuses to play a game where he can’t win: He retreats into impotence. Though some men have told me they have never in their lives worried that they might not be able to get an erection, I don’t see how the idea cannot occasionally occur to any man past seventeen. Here, once again, fantasy applies its balm. Far from not being able to satisfy, Gene (above) is able to make two women come at the same time. He is fifty-five years old. Little wonder it is his favorite fantasy – but younger men, too, enjoy imagining scenarios which reassure them of their virility.

This idea is beautifully brought home in Prentiss’s fantasy (above). There is the obvious problem of timing. How is he going to get enough rest between climaxes so that he will again get an erection? “There is this waiting period,” he says,

“as if planned, so I can recuperate.” The four women keep coming and going in his fantasy, giving him all the time he needs.

How like ministering angels! These women aren’t going to shame or embarrass him; they aren’t out to “drain his precious bodily fluids.” Gene (above) laments after sex with his wife and another woman, “My prick is completely limp!

What a shame.” But to and behold, the other woman brings him back to life again. “Oh, thank you,” he says. Then he makes both women come at the same time. Not only do these women with their trusting ways and sexual expertise make him virile, they help him reach the exalted stage of Superman, satisfying one woman after another without thought of failure. But isn’t it the women who really have these super-powers? It is only because of their treatment of him that he can accomplish what he is afraid he could not do alone.

Leonard’s fantasy (above) perhaps most clearly expresses the passive wishes hidden in these superman fantasies. His Nancy Friday

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four women are tender, take care of him – sexually first, hy-gienically later. “They lick me clean and put me to bed.” The repeated reference, in these fantasies, to being washed and cleaned up by the same person who has just encouraged you and participated in getting you “dirty” beautifully rewrites the role of the first woman in every man’s life.

It is only after Leonard has gained strength and self-confidence from these four women that he feels free to act on their model: They have taught him to trust his sexual partners. Now, in turn, he teaches trust to a young girl, almost as a mother with a child.

Leonard suggests I not print this last fantasy for fear it might encourage a child molester. In similar fashion, some women were angry that I had printed so many force/rape fantasies in my earlier books on women’s sexual fantasies.

Ignorance feeds on itself, and ignoring the fact that women do fantasize about being sexually overpowered will not make the incidence of real rape disappear. A fantasy is not necessarily a real desire, the wish is not the deed, saying it doesn’t make it so. Leonard’s fantasy is not something he really wants to do.

In various places in this chapter, I have used the word
passive
as a kind of shorthand. It stands for an idea that is difficult to define exactly. The men in these fantasies are more done to than doing – in the sense we might say they are passive. But since they are the ones who are inventing the fantasy, aren’t they activists, too? This is another example of the conflict in the male psyche: The overt content of these fantasies posits the man as a hell-for-leather rip-roaring, erotic fellow for whom one woman is not enough. The latent content is the supreme joy these multiple women furnish, ministering to and soothing male physical and psychological anxieties by taking the responsibility for sex.

Passivity has overtones of not caring, neutrality, almost of a defeated inertness. “Do with me what you will.” These men know exactly what they want women to do with them. In Men In Love

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their imaginations at least, they occasionally enjoy seeing themselves on the receiving end of sex, actively constructing scenarios to get what they want –
even if what they want is a

“passive” experience.
They are men who dream of women in all shapes and sizes and color. They are in a rage against being expelled from a time they unconsciously remember as filled with feminine nurture, tenderness, sensuality, and comfort. They want to recreate Eden.

And with no other man there.

LUKE

I am in prison. But I would like to make it clear right now that I am not in here because of any kind of sex rap. I am a white male forty-two years of age. I have been married, but am now divorced. Everyone says I look to be about thirty-five years old, and believe me, I am really thankful for that. I am a fanatic for keeping myself in good physical condition.

I think the two main reasons I am such a fanatic about physical fitness are (1) I have always had a nagging fear of getting old, and (2) I have a fear of not being able to get it up when I do get out of here. I don’t really know why I have this fear, because all my life I have had (and still do) a very powerful sex drive.

As for fantasies, whenever I was loving a woman, I never fantasized. I never had to. Of course during masturbation, I always think of women. But the women I think about are those I have been to bed with or women I have known and would have liked to go to bed with. But I can’t recall having a fantasy about a complete stranger. That is, not until now.

Here is my fantasy:

I really can’t remember when it began, but I have always had a desire to spend one night making love with two good-looking women. When this fantasy first entered my head, it was with women I have known. But since I have been in prison, it has changed to women that are complete strangers. I Nancy Friday

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fantasize that I have been released from prison. I go into this real nice bar, and I see these two foxy gals sitting together in a booth and they are talking. One is a lovely blonde and the other gal is a sexy brunette. Both of them have long hair. (I love long hair on a woman.) I offer to buy them a drink and they accept. I tell them I have a proposition I think will interest them, and they tell me to sit in the booth and explain. So point blank I lay it on the line. I tell them that I have always wanted to spend one night loving two women. I tell them that I would like to take them out to dinner, and that I will also pay each of them one hundred bucks if they will spend the night with me at a nice motel. I also tell them that I have just been released from prison, and that I haven’t had a woman for several years.

This really turns them on and one of them says it will be like getting a man virgin and they start laughing. And last of all, I tell them that they must do whatever I ask them to do (nothing kinky), but that I will want them to love each other and that I will want to have anal sex with one of them while they are eating each other. I also tell them that I want them to demand that I perform cunnilingus on them both, and they really like this part. I tell them that I have always wanted to see two cute gals loving each other. When I see pictures of women making love, it really turns me on.

Anyway, I take them out to dinner, and I buy them some drinks. But I don’t have anything to drink, because I don’t want anything in my system that will dull one minute of this night. (I would like to say at this point that I am a Virgo, and I guess I have always been a nut for small details and for being clean.) Anyway, we are in this nice motel room and I have bought tooth brushes, mouthwash, douche bags, K-Y jelly, toothpaste and whatever else we will need.

So after I have showered and shaved, we all end up on the bed in the nude with me in the middle. Now during this fantasy, every scent, each sound and detail are crystal clear. I can smell the perfume the girls have on, I can smell the sweet scent of each of the girl’s hair. I notice how beautiful their Men In Love

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bodies are, their terrific asses (I’ve always been an ass man.) I don’t seem to have to say anything to them at all. From here on they seem to know what turns me on and it is really great.

I am kissing their sweet mouths, sucking those beautiful tits, my fingers are in their hot wet cunts. They are moaning and gasping in joy. Then I am pushed onto my back and the lovely blonde straddles me, facing toward my feet, and guides my throbbing cock deep into her warm sweet cunt. At the same time, the sexy brunette straddles my chest, facing me, and pushes her wet pussy against my mouth, and I really begin to eat her out. Both women are moaning and crying out pretty loud now. They are really getting with it. (I hate quiet sex.) I can smell the lovely woman scent of the foxy brunette I am eating, and even though her knees are on each side of my head, I can still look up into her lovely passion-filled face, and notice each detail. Her eyes are closed and her head is twisting from side to side. Her pink tongue is licking her sexy lips, her breath is coming in short gasps. Her face is covered with sweat, which is running down between her beautiful tits that my hands are squeezing gently.

The blonde is really riding my cock now. She is moaning and crying out in joy, “Oh, God, I’m so close, so close, and I can’t hold back any longer.” Then both women scream out together as they climax, and at the same time I shoot my load in one of the most powerful orgasms I have ever had. Then we all collapse completely drained.

We try different positions, and come again and again throughout the night. But in this fantasy, I don’t ask the gals to perform analingus on me or to go down on me. But whatever they ask me to do to them, I do it and love every minute of it. Especially if I am performing oral sex on them, be it analingus or cunnilingus. I would like to say a couple of things about this fantasy.

When I first began to have it, I had not read or heard too much about threesomes having sex together. But I guess nowadays, it is no big deal. But I really want this fantasy to come true. I am saving my money and if I live to get out of Nancy Friday

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here, I will make it come true regardless of what the price will be. And I will work it out right down to the smallest detail. I guess it has almost become an obsession with me. Next to being free, I want that one night with two good-looking women more than anything in this world.

PERRY

I am thirty-one, white, college educated, and a civil servant. I am eight months a newlywed. Two years ago, I successfully completed three years of psychotherapy. I fell in love and got married. One consequence of my oppressive inferiority problem, prior to therapy, was that I was a virgin until I was twenty-eight years old.

With no women in my life during the years prior to therapy, I jacked off in concert with my fantasies. I still do two or three times a week, which is down from my pre-therapy frequency of two or three times a day. Nowadays, I would rather make love to my wife when I get in the mood.