Forget Me Not (The Heart's Spring) (13 page)

Grasping her mother’s hand, she asked, “Will you please pray with me?”

***

Joe knew even before Elizabeth approached him at dawn that there would be no wedding. He could feel all his plans and dreams slipping through his fingers like the water he splashed on his face as he sensed her standing behind him, waiting.

“Joe? Can I talk with you?”

He remained crouching by the lake a moment longer, wishing with all his might that he didn’t have to hear what she was going to tell him. Finally, he took a deep breath and stood, trying not to clench his fists in anticipation of the anger, shame, and deep sadness he was about to feel.

“Yes, Elizabeth?” With a sudden burst of denial he pushed past her, calling over his shoulder, “We probably shouldn’t talk for too long. Me and Jacob have to get to Carson City soon if we want to have the wedding today. Can’t have a wedding without a preacher.” His attempts at teasing failed miserably, and he knew he sounded just plain ornery. Even now he was losing her, right near where he had first felt the hope of having her forever.

“I…I don’t think…”

“If you have somethin’ to say, then just come out and tell me straight.” Joe turned and crossed his arms over his chest.

Her voice quivered. “I can’t marry you.” She turned her face away, but not before he saw her eyes fill with moisture.

She sniffed, and he could tell she was about to say more. But he didn’t want to hear about David, about how sorry she was, about some false sympathy he didn’t need. He shook his head. “I figured as much. Care to tell me why you waited until now to inform me?”

Her tears almost softened his resolve, but he wasn’t about to open himself up to more heartache when he knew he couldn’t win. He should have seen this coming a long time ago.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I didn’t realize… I don’t belong here.” Her words came out confused, as if she were still trying to sort out what she wanted to say. He couldn’t wait for her to make sense of her emotions, though. He didn’t want to know why he couldn’t compete with the likes of David.

“Let’s just head back to Virginia City. You can take the train home from there.” Swiveling to climb back up the rocky shore, he felt her hand on his arm, restraining him. Heat bloomed from her touch, and when he turned to face her again he met her eyes, green like dew-covered grass. Longing swept over him as suddenly as a piece of chocolate hair fell across her cheek. Swallowing hard, he closed his eyes, the pain of rejection constricting his chest.

“Joe, I’m sorry I’ve hurt you. You’re a good man, and I’m so grateful that you’ve been watching out for me.”

He nodded once and then stepped back out of her reach. She might think him a good man, but somehow he wasn’t good enough for her.

Elizabeth was almost home. She gripped Sarah Anne’s hand, her gaze landing on Jacob and Annabelle, sitting next to each other across the narrow train aisle. Annabelle’s golden head rested on Jacob’s chest, and Jacob’s arm curled around her shoulders protectively, tenderly. They both appeared to be asleep.

A smile rose on her face as she turned to look back out the window, contentment filling her even as nervousness edged in. The summer green of Colorado blurred as the train sped past, but in her mind Elizabeth could see it clearly—the green hillsides filled with wildflowers, David’s cabin surrounded by shimmering aspens, fires brightening the darkness and holding back the night’s chill.

Other, darker images marched after. The mountain storm. The creek water closing in over her head. The bear looming over her. David’s tears as he confessed what he had almost done in her brother’s brothel. Joe’s back as he turned away from her when she confessed she couldn’t marry him.

She bit her lip, searching the passing landscape for answers. What had been the purpose of knowing Joe if it only ended in his heartbreak? He hadn’t even come to see her off at the train station. She didn’t blame him.

A welcome peace stole over her, and even though she couldn’t explain it, she felt sure that somehow the whole journey had been important, every part. All of those steps had brought her here, and God hadn’t abandoned her. In fact, she felt closer to Him now, knowing He had seen the whole landscape and brought her through each trial.

Closing her eyes, she breathed deeply.
Please, dear Lord, bless Joe and his family. Please forgive me for hurting them.

Her eyes flew open again at the announcement of their arrival in Golden. Anticipation and uncertainty sent fluttery sensations from her belly to her throat. She turned to Sarah Anne. “Would you mind if I went to see him first?”

Sarah Anne shook her head and whispered, “I understand,” as she stood to grab their bags from the compartment above their heads. “I’ll have Jacob help me bring your things to the house.”

“Thank you, Ma.” Squeezing into the aisle, she headed for the front of the car.

When the train finally came to a halt, she took one last look back. Bolstered by Sarah Anne’s smile, she rushed down the steps. Holding onto her hat, knowing the green ribbons whipped madly behind her, she rushed down the wooden sidewalks of Golden and headed straight out of town. As soon as she passed the last building at the edge of town she ran in earnest. She didn’t know what she was going to do when she got to the farm, but there was no room in her heart or mind for anything but the thought of seeing David again.

Stopping for only a moment, she bent to unbutton her feminine boots with trembling fingers. She could run faster without the fancy footwear.

Clutching her boots in one hand and her hat in the other, she flew, heaving in deep gulps of air as the farmhouse finally came into sight. She was about to head to the porch when she saw him. She knew it was him, sitting by the river farther across the property, where they used to play once upon a time.

“David.” She called to him, determined to cover the distance between them as quickly as possible, dropping her boots and hat along the way. This time she hoped she would end up in his arms to stay.

***

Shading his eyes from the sun’s glare, David clambered to his feet, sure his heart was deceiving him. Elizabeth would be married to Joe by now, residing in the desert with his family. And yet there was no mistaking the slight frame running straight for him, nor the light brown hair flying behind her.

“Elizabeth?” He barely whispered the word before she was in his arms, the sweet softness of her drowning him in warmth. He clutched her close, nearly afraid to breathe. Was she shaking, or was he?

Pulling back, he framed her face with his hands, searching her gold-green eyes for forgiveness and love. “Elizabeth,” he rasped in wonder. “What are you doing here?”

Her chest rose and fell, her eyes aglow and her hair as disheveled as it had been when they’d traversed the Rockies. Finally, she replied between breaths, “We started a journey together, David, or Casey, or whoever you are.” She searched his gaze, expectant.

“So we did.” His heart soared, then drummed wildly. “But I thought you were going to marry Joe…”

She ducked her head. “I almost did. I thought I could make it work with him, but I was wrong.” Peeking up at him, she studied his face. “Is it really you?”

He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, understanding what she was asking. “Yes. I’m sorry I never told you. I was still coming to terms with my past…”

Before he could explain further, she stood on her tiptoes and brushed a kiss on his cheek, her breath feather-soft. She didn’t pull back as she whispered, “Want to know something?”

Oh, yes.
“Tell me.”

“As Casey, you stole my little heart with your teasing and those forget-me-nots.”

He felt the heat of her blush as she lowered her forehead to his shoulder, and he tucked her into his arms, waiting for her to continue.

“As David, you stole my heart again, and I…I want you to keep it.”

He couldn’t hold back the smile that spread across his face. She was back, back to stay—with him. Releasing her, he bent down and picked a stem of forget-me-nots, the light blue petals bringing back peaceful, precious memories.

Staying down on one knee, he held the stem up to her, relishing the golden glow of the sun surrounding her. “I promise you, with God’s help and your permission, I’ll take good care of it.”

She took the flowers and smiled down at him. As he stood, he drew her into his embrace and basked in the truth of being remembered.

Forget Me Not
is the story of my heart. Elizabeth and David’s journey has been with me for years, and while the details have changed multiple times, the basic plot remains.

I recall one family vacation to Nevada, sitting in a hotel room and jotting down a brief summary as it came to me fast and furious. Everything sort of fell into place, complete with a desert setting that had intrigued me, and all tied together with forget-me-not stems. I certainly had a long road ahead of me before
Forget Me Not
was ready for publication, but the heart of the story beat steady from its birth.

Through my high school years, I worked on the book in fits and starts. (There was even a contemporary version—more along the lines of
The Journey of Natty Gann
, a movie I love with a hero I adore—but with some encouragement from my dad and a passion for all things American West, the story ended up as a Western, thank goodness!) When it came time to choose a topic for an extended essay I had to write for the International Baccalaureate Diploma Programme, I picked my book’s main setting,
Virginia City
. That decision led to another trip to the tourist town in the hills above Reno the summer before my senior year of high school, which caused my family and me to fall more in love with the town…which subsequently led to more trips. We still haven’t been able to get enough of the place!

During our visits we stayed first at the Seven Mile Canyon Guest Ranch—the area where I set the fictional Clifton ranch—and then
Edith Palmer’s Country Inn
. Little tidbits I learned from the owners of those B&Bs and other locals fed my imagination, which is how I ended up including such things as a Cornish character who stole my heart (and who plans to be the hero of Book 3), a Jewish wife for Seth, and yellow roses. As for some fact vs. fiction, note that the Delta and the Bucket of Blood were and are actual establishments in Virginia City, whereas Jacob’s businesses are fictional (although D Street did indeed have a red-light district).

It wasn’t until my second year of college that I finally completed the novel. As soon as I wrote “The End,” I was beyond ready to share it with the world. The only problem? I may have been ready (or at least I thought I was), but my story was not. It took some helpful (yet still encouraging) feedback from author friends for me to realize that
Forget Me Not
needed to be pruned and trimmed before it could fully bloom. So I put aside my query attempts and moved on to write the sequel,
Bleeding Heart
.

Two years later, I felt that
Bleeding Heart
, while certainly not perfect, was ready. I had grown in the interim—met some people, learned of some publishing possibilities, and found myself in a new place where editing a story and making it better wasn’t so daunting of a task. And that’s why the second book in this series was published first.

Every story has a season, and
Forget Me Not
has its turn to blossom now. As the foundation for the series, providing back story for certain characters and exploring themes very close to my heart, I had to return to it. If you read
Bleeding Heart
first, I hope that the characters’ histories endeared them more to you and answered some questions their words in the sequel might have raised. If this is your first experience with “The Heart’s Spring” series, I hope you enjoy revisiting some of these characters in Book 2!

If you’d like to learn more about
Forget Me Not
, please visit
www.forgetmenotnovel.blogspot.com
. For all the latest news about this book series, be sure to also check out the series blog at
www.theheartsspringseries.blogspot.com
.

1. Have you ever been given a startling revelation regarding your family or a friend’s past? How did you respond? If you were faced with a similar situation again, would you react differently?

2. How did you feel about Jacob and Annabelle? Did your feelings change toward them as the story progressed?

3. Was there ever a point when you wanted Elizabeth to marry Joe instead of David? What do you think caused Elizabeth to choose David in the end?

4. Which setting did you prefer to read about—the Rocky Mountains of Colorado or Virginia City? What did you like about each setting, and how did each leg of the journey present different challenges to the characters?

5. Have you ever felt forgotten by God? What tender mercies have you
been shown that remind you that you’re remembered?

The process of writing
Forget Me Not
was a long one, but some wonderful people came along and made the journey exciting, enjoyable, and unforgettable. I was blessed by each person who took the time to listen to me ramble on about the story, to share their advice and knowledge with me, and to show me that this was a dream worth holding onto.

Heartfelt thanks to…

~ My family. You’ve given me the love and means to write my stories, and I can’t thank you enough for all that you do. To my mom—thank you for sharing precious moments and memories with me, for always taking the time to show you care. And to my sister, Emily—thank you for letting me use your middle name and pick your brain about horses. Your talents are inspiring, Ems, so keep on dreaming big!

~ Adrienne
Hedlund, Elena Lopez, and Hannah Dawley, three of the dearest friends a girl could ask for. Thank you for all of the writing encouragement, but most importantly, for just being there through it all. Love you!

~ Amanda Stanley. This season came, dear friend! Thank you for believing it would in God’s timing, and for making the latter half of the writing process so much fun. Your friendship is a true blessing.

~ Elizabeth Ludwig. Your feedback on my first draft was invaluable, and I can’t tell you how much you’ve helped me grow as a writer. Thank you for taking me under your wing.

~ Laura Frantz. You have always been so encouraging, from your endorsement on my imaginary press release three years ago, to your endorsement for my real debut. I’m so honored by your thoughtfulness, and I deeply admire your work and joyful attitude.

~ Lena Goldfinch. You showed me that self-publishing is not only a viable route, but also an exciting and rewarding one. You’ve been an amazing example to me, but what’s more, you’ve been an incredibly generous mentor, an absolutely awesome cover designer, and a wonderful friend. I’m so grateful to know you and work with you.

~ Rachelle Rea, my editing buddy and blogging friend! I’m so glad to have you as my proofreader. Your kindness, skill, and profound insight mean more than you know.

~ Once again, to my Virginia City friends: Leisa Findley (Edith Palmer’s Country Inn), Gary and Nancy Teel (TNT Stagelines), Judy Sorensen, Karen Tassone, Desna Young, and Joe Curtis (Mark Twain Bookstore). Here’s the book that started it all, and it includes a little more of the town I’ve come to know and love. Thank you for helping me with my research and making Virginia City’s history come to life for me!

~ My Twitter writing buddies. Rewrites and edits went much faster thanks to you! I greatly appreciate the extra motivation, and I had a blast sharing favorite lines and knowing I wasn’t staring at a computer screen alone.

~ My influencer team. To all those awesome blogging friends who have helped me to spread the word about my books, encouraging me in so many ways and taking the time to write reviews (and so much more)—my sincere gratitude. Your enthusiasm and support mean the world to me!

~ My grandma’s art class. You celebrated my debut with me and my grandma, and you brought joy to us both. Thank you for being there for all of us.