Forget Me Not (The Heart's Spring) (9 page)

Leaning back against the front wall, she looked up at the stars, wishing she could weave those distant jewels into her hair and sew them onto her dress. She wanted to be beautiful.
For David.

The sound of shuffling jolted her out of her thoughts, and she glanced up to find David and his friend, Myghal, heading toward her. She waved, and they stopped. She got the distinct impression that Myghal wanted to run in the other direction. She couldn’t make out what he said, but David stayed back and Myghal approached her alone.

“Lass, I think it’d be best if ya go home tonight and come back in the mornin’.” He looked sad, as if someone had passed away.

Her heart beat hard and fast as she peered past his thin frame to David, who was standing in the middle of the street, staring up at the stars. After a moment, his eyes met hers, but the darkness kept her from reading the look he gave her. He began to walk toward her, but Myghal blocked the way. In a low voice over his shoulder, he repeated, “Please go home, lass.”

“What’s goin’ on?” Elizabeth ducked past Myghal and went to David. “If this is about the kiss, I can explain. I never…”

“
Yesss,” David interrupted. “I sssaw ya kissin’ that viper.”

She backed away a couple of steps, horrified. “Why, David, you’re drunk!” The stench of his breath followed her as she retreated.

“What did ya expect”—he took a gulp of the desert air—“me to do? You had a kisssso I thought I should, too.”

Cold dread whipped through her. “What do
ya mean?” When he resumed his search of the stars, unresponsive, she voiced the question she wasn’t sure she wanted answered. “What did you do?”

Finally, he looked back down at her, and there was a sorrow in his eyes that seemed to be at war with the callousness. “I f-found
yer brother.” He staggered a little, and Elizabeth reached out to steady him, but he shoved her away. “Don’t touch me! You shouldn’t…shouldn’t touch me.” Then he began to cry.

Elizabeth froze, rooted to the street, her heart breaking. She looked to Myghal, but he just watched, as if he had seen all this before and was helpless to do anything about it. “David?” Hesitantly, she reached out her hand and brushed his sleeve, conflicting desires to discover the truth and to flee tangling inside her.

He looked up then, stricken. “I kissssssed her,” he slurred, bowing his head as he spoke. “If Myghal wasn’t there…”

“I don’t understand.”

Clarity filled his eyes for a moment, like a needle poked through a thin canteen. “Yer brother owns a…a brothel. Where Annabelle used ta work. And I f-found him. And one of his girls found me.”

Her heart thudded to a halt. What was he saying? About her brother? About himself?

“No.” She shook her head and drew her arm back, clutching both hands to her chest. “It isn’t true. No!”

Before she could run, David grabbed her arm. “Please, Liz. I didn’t mean to. It was only a
kisss.” His shadowed eyes pleaded with her, but she turned away. His dear, brown eyes—she had never seen them so filled with pain. But something had changed. She didn’t know who this man was. She didn’t know if she could trust him.

Shaking her head, tears blurred the winking lights above into unfamiliar shapes, strangers. She fled from him, sure that such aching would break her heart into fragments more numerous than those once-lovely stars.

Shame. Not even the moment he’d realized no one was ever coming for him after the accident in his childhood had brought about such stabbing shame. While the rest of the boardinghouse seemed to be preparing for the day, and the activity of the town below continued on unimpeded, David just lay there on his cot, feeling sicker at heart than in his mercilessly churning gut. The previous night could have been almost a blur except for the look of fear on his sweet Liz’s face. He remembered with absolute clarity her shimmering green eyes, the uncertainty flowing from them as she turned away.

He moaned and turned onto his side. How could so much go so wrong in just one night?

“Don’t worry.
Yer belly will settle down eventually.”

David looked up to find Myghal leaning against the doorjamb, watching him with a mixed look of pity and disgust. David moaned again. He was one wrong movement away from retching.

“Do ye wanna talk?”

“No. I don’t even want to think, but I can’t seem to stop doing that.”

A specter of a smile appeared on Myghal’s face. “Well, ye best be gettin’ up soon, ’cause ya know ye can’t go back and change what happened.”

With that, Myghal straightened and walked out of the room, his red hair bright in the sunshine filtering through the grimy window.

Sitting up slowly, David glanced around the bare room. Everyone else was up and getting ready for work, if they weren’t at the mines already. He considered Myghal’s words and knew he couldn’t go back in Elizabeth’s eyes or even Myghal’s. He couldn’t go back to work and just pretend like he still belonged in this terrible town. But, perhaps…

Yes. Maybe he could go back home.

Rising from the bed, he went to the window and looked through the dirty glass at the busy people below. Part of him longed to return to his cabin and imagine that nothing had ever happened. But he knew he couldn’t. He pictured himself stumbling around in the silence, seeing Elizabeth everywhere, haunted and miserable. No, he had to go back home, to the family that forgot him. Perhaps he could go back far enough to escape this horrid present and find a way to make peace with his past. It was the only hope for a future he could think of.

Clutching his pounding head with one hand, he rushed out of the room and palmed the front door with the other hand. “Myghal.”

The man hadn’t gone far, and he turned at David’s call. He waited in the street.

David joined him, trying to disguise his belch with a cough. “I’ve got to leave. It’s time I returned home.”

Myghal tilted his head, considering him. His brown brows slanted as he asked, “Are ya sure ye know what yer doin’?”

“I’m certain. I can’t stay here. You know that.” The sunlight fell all around them, as if God were showering him with warmth to bolster him for the hard journey ahead. He bowed his head and rubbed his neck. It was bold of him to think that God would bless him after what he did. An ache pressed against his chest, even as a familiar peace eased the pain. A train trip was exactly what he needed. He would have time alone to pray, to seek God. Something David had been neglecting for far too long.

“Ya know she’ll hate ye for leavin’ without saying farewell.” Myghal stared up at Sun Mountain’s peak, his jaw clenched tight. He must have sensed David’s urgency, his desire to leave as quickly as possible.

“I know, but I’ll hate myself if I stay or try to speak with her now. Maybe it’s for the best.”

Myghal swung his gaze back to David then, just as the piercing call of the train several streets below reached their ears. “I know.”

“Will you watch out for her, though? Just to make sure she’s safe.”

“I will.” Myghal grasped his hand firmly. “I’ll miss havin’ to try and keep ya out of trouble.” The man grinned, the boyish, mischievous look he had worn when David first met him returning for a moment.

“I’ll miss you, too.” With one last squeeze of
Myghal’s hand, he turned to gather his things. He was going home.

***

An odd sense of dread washed over Elizabeth as she awoke to late-morning sunshine streaming through the window. She had locked herself in her room last night, only returning to her brother’s home because she didn’t know where else to go. Now she pushed back the blanket and slipped on her dress. Urgency pulsed through her, and she couldn’t get out of the house quick enough to suit her.

She splashed water on her face, ran a brush through her hair, and then gathered the few things she could claim as hers before silently unlocking the door. The sun’s clear light made the house look innocent, clean, but Elizabeth knew better. Nothing seemed safe anymore, especially not her brother’s home. Making her way outside, she paused on the porch. Where could she go?

She sank to the steps, but jumped to her feet a few minutes later when she spotted Myghal. He was heading back up the mountain, probably from some errand in town. Perhaps he would know where she could stay.

“Myghal!” She left the porch and walked purposefully toward him. Surely he could help her.

Elizabeth almost turned around and ran back when she saw the somber wariness in his eyes. “Yes, lass?”

“I was wondering… Perhaps
ya might show me…” She fidgeted. There was no mistaking the sorrow on his face. Was he as sad as she was over David’s behavior, his revelations? But this was a different kind of sadness, she was sure. Permanent. “Whatever is the matter?”

He sighed and stuffed his hands in his pockets, his tattered shirt flapping like a flag of surrender in the breeze. “You would find out sooner or later. Guess it might as well be sooner.” He stared straight into her eyes and declared, “David’s gone.”

No words came. She was sure the confusion was evident in her eyes, for he clarified, “David left just a bit ago on the V&T. I don’t think he’ll be comin’ back.”

The blood drained from her face, leaving behind only a cold paleness. “What do you mean? He…he can’t be gone. He wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t leave me.” The anger and hurt from last night was nothing compared to this. They could have worked it out, surely. Eventually. But he had abandoned her, another blow and another betrayal to her heart.

“When did he leave? Maybe he’s still there. Maybe the train hasn’t left yet.” Frantic, she dropped her bag and ran as fast as she could to the train station. She was afraid her legs would get tangled in her dress and cause her to tumble all the way down the mountain, but still she ran. Panic pushed her on, until she stood at the station, breathing hard, with no train in sight. She heard Myghal calling her name, but she had no answer for him.

When he finally caught up to her, he set her bag down and gently touched her shoulder. “He knew he was
doin’ the right thing. He needed to go home. Ya both need yer time apart.”

“But how could he abandon me? How could he leave me here with no one to turn to?” Tears misted her eyes, and she started to shake, despite the hot summer weather. “I can’t trust my brother or his wife. I can’t trust Joe.”

“David told me to watch out fer ye. You can come back with me to the boardin’house until we get all this settled.”

She turned to look at him then, her emotions uncontainable. “He’s really gone. What if…what if he forgets me?”

Her pain seemed to be echoed in his eyes. “Ah, lass.”

She fell against him then and sobbed into his worn shirt. His thin arms held her close, and his voice broke as he assured her, “I promise ye, he’ll never be able to forget you.”

“According to thy mercy remember thou me for thy goodness’ sake, O Lord.”

Joe approached the door slowly, afraid that if he came in too quickly Elizabeth would flit away like a butterfly and evade him, as she had been doing for the past two weeks. He leaned his shoulder against the doorjamb and watched her as she sat staring out the window of the boardinghouse. She looked so gentle, so unsure.
So beautiful.

Elizabeth startled, her gaze flying to his as she became aware of his presence. Her fresh green eyes widened, and she jumped up from the edge of the bed. “Why are you here?”

Taking only a few, painstakingly hesitant steps, he came fully inside the room. “I wanted to see how you were doin’. And I wanted to apologize for offendin’ ya the last time we saw each other.”

He couldn’t apologize for the act itself, though. He had never meant to frighten her, but if he could, he would kiss her as many times as she would let him. No more rushing, though, because what he really wanted was for her to kiss him back. To fall as deeply in love with him as he was with her.

She clutched her hands together, silent for a moment. Then she asked, “How did ya know where I was?”

“Jacob told me.”

She flinched at the mention of her brother’s name. So she knew. It surprised him that David would have told her, after all that Jacob told him had happened, but his heart filled with sweet relief. No more secrets. Nothing to hide.

A soft smile crept across his face. “You do see why I couldn’t tell
ya? I thought I was protectin’ you.”

She didn’t respond, her gaze turned away from him. Taking another step forward, he longed to start again, to begin their acquaintance anew.

Before he could reach out to her, a hard voice intruded. “What are ye doin’ here?”

Joe turned to find a wiry man with red hair leaning on the doorjamb where he had just been, watching him calmly with cold eyes.

“It’s all right, Myghal.” Elizabeth visibly relaxed at the man’s arrival. “This is Joe.”

Joe had a funny feeling that the man already knew who he was and didn’t approve of him.

“What do ya want here, Joe?” Myghal addressed him with a frown.

How could he explain? This man appeared completely unsympathetic, and Joe didn’t know how he could explain his need to see Elizabeth—to set things right, to find hope for a future with her.

“Well…?” Myghal pushed off the doorjamb and drew close to Elizabeth, muscular albeit thin arms crossed over his chest.

“He came to apologize and to check on me.” Elizabeth bit her lip, her gaze riveted to the floor. He guessed that she was still uncertain about him but didn’t like the tension between him and Myghal.

“I wanted to see how she was farin’.” He also wanted to ask her to come and stay at the ranch, but he realized that it was too soon for such a suggestion. She wasn’t ready for that big of a change, and he doubted that she would trust him enough to come with him yet. He’d just have to keep going slow until she grew comfortable in his presence again.

“Well,
ye’ve seen her now and ye can go.”

Myghal stood tall next to Elizabeth, glaring to add emphasis to his verdict. As much as Joe disliked the treatment, he realized that he probably wouldn’t respond any differently if he were Myghal. Too much had happened recently, and he had a sick feeling that the kiss he had stolen had been a bigger cause in this mess than he had originally wanted to believe. He knew David had seen them when Elizabeth had pushed him away and called the man’s name. And he knew that David had laid claim to her heart before he had ever met her.

Shaking his head, he attempted to dislodge the thoughts. He had prayed for forgiveness, as much as he knew he didn’t deserve it. And now was the time for a new beginning.

“
Mebbe I can come again sometime?” He directed his question to Elizabeth.

Both men looked to her, and after a moment she glanced up and met his gaze. “Maybe.”

There was no guarantee in her words, but he smiled anyway and took the hope she offered. The lovely butterfly’s wings were folded tightly together for now, but perhaps in time she would open them again and follow him home.

***

Several days had passed since Joe’s visit, and Elizabeth didn’t think she could stay in the boardinghouse a moment longer. She needed fresh air, and as much as she appreciated Myghal’s kindness in letting her stay and providing her with her own cot, which he had probably had to pay extra for, the confining space was making her feel ill. She was ready to get away from the small, dusty room.

Myghal was working at the mines today, so she splashed some water on her face, brushed and braided her hair, and headed outside. She didn’t really want to walk through the heart of the noisy town, but she didn’t know where else to go. Keeping her head down, she forced herself to take one step and then another. The hem of her dress dragged along in the dirt, but she didn’t care. The whole dress was in need of a good scrubbing. Maybe she should search for a laundress while she was in town.

But how could she go on like this? Living in a town with nothing but horrible memories?

That’s not entirely true.
Thoughts of Annabelle’s kindness, meeting Joe’s family, and the kiss she shared with David filled her mind. Thinking of any kiss was too painful, though, and with that idea the rest of the happy thoughts flitted away, leaving her heartsick.

Oh, God, please show me where to go. I’m so lost. I don’t know what to do.
She felt a tear slide down her cheek, but she didn’t bother to rub it away.

And then he was there. She lifted her gaze to find him watching her, waiting for her in front of her brother’s store, the complete compassion on his face drawing her like a moth to a light. No matter what had happened before, she needed him now.

As if he knew of her aversion to her brother’s place of business, he left it and walked toward her.

“Joe.” He couldn’t possibly hear her whisper over the pounding of the stamp mills and the buzz of conversations on the street. Still, he smiled gently and reached out a hand to her. She hesitated for a moment, then placed her hand in his. As she studied his hand, remembering the hands that had saved her from Clear Creek, a sob escaped her lips.

He led her to his horse that was tied up outside the store, the wood of the structure glowing near-red in the daylight. He lifted her into the saddle, then swung up behind her and guided Copper out of town, in the direction of the canyon and his ranch. When they passed the cemetery, she couldn’t hold back her emotions any longer. Her whole body shook with confusion and grief.

Joe wrapped his arm around her, letting her lean against him. For a moment, he didn’t speak except to call “whoa” to the horse, reining the creature in along the side of the dirt street. He just held her, letting her cry.

“I’m so sorry, Elizabeth,” he eventually said. “I never meant to hurt ya or deceive ya.”

She gazed out across the deep blue sky and the unending rolling hills, covered with nothing but scattered sagebrush and small pines, all made blurry by her tears. The scene was so desolate, but something stirred in her as she felt Joe’s arms tighten comfortingly around her.

“I want to be here for ya, whatever you need from me. Yer not alone out here.” He touched a hand to her shoulder, causing her to glance back at him. “I’m grateful to that man, Myghal, for giving ya shelter. Between him and me, you won’t be alone.”

“I know.” Her voice broke.

He wiped a tear from her cheek. “I was thinkin’ maybe I could take ya to see Lake Tahoe sometime. It’s a bit of a distance, but it would make fer a good place to get away from town for a while. We could ask my brother and his wife to come, too.”

She paused for a mere breath. “That would be nice.” She met his smile with a small one of her own. The wind sent his sand-colored hair flying toward her, and his Stetson looked like it could be dislodged at any moment. His tender expression and boyish charm were so endearing. “Thank you.” She didn’t know how to explain her gratitude for his understanding. He seemed to know just what she had needed—to get away from watchful eyes and busy streets.

“Yer welcome. Ya ready to go back?”

“Yes, I think so.” The reminder of hope was enough.

***

The sun hadn’t yet risen when Elizabeth awoke one morning a week later. Today was the day they would start their short trip to Lake Tahoe. Initial excitement mingled with a bit of uncertainty, but excitement ultimately emerged victorious. She was weary of staying indoors, mending clothes for the other boarders and reading what few books they had. She practically skipped across the room to the makeshift dressing corner, partitioned off from the rest of the room by a faded curtain.

After getting dressed and packing what little she had back into her bag, she aimed for the open door.

“Are ye sure
ya really want to go?”

Elizabeth whirled around, a hand to her heart. Myghal sat on the edge of his cot, running a hand through his hair, looking tired and very worn-out. She must have been too consumed with her tasks to notice when he had entered. His light brown eyes met hers, and she felt the uncertainty rise to overtake the excitement she had felt.

She walked over to the cot and sat down beside him. “Do ya think it’s wrong if I go?” She clasped the sack in her lap and looked down, waiting. Pale rays of light forced their way through the dirt-stained window.

She felt a gentle hand on her arm and glanced up.
Myghal’s jaw worked. “Myghal? What is it?”

“Ye remind me o’ someone.”

She hadn’t been expecting that. “I do?”

“Back in Cornwall, I had me a gal. She was the most beautiful fiery-haired lass you’d ever see. And I thought
fer sure we would be married.”

He stood, running his hand through his hair again as he made his way to the window. He was silent, his expression troubled.

“What happened to her?” Elizabeth remained on the cot, waiting and watching him.

“I thought she loved me.”

His gaze was so solemn, his mouth down-turned like he had just heard some horrible news that would change his life forever. Perhaps he was reliving such a time.

“Didn’t she?”

Not taking his eyes from the clouded view out the window, he replied, “I’ll ne’er know. I ne’er got the chance to ask her. But I thought we had an understandin’. And then she married someone else.”

“Oh, Myghal…”

“I lived it up fer a while after that, but I only felt worse-off, like I was provin’ that I ne’er deserved her. So when some other Cornish fellas—friends o’ mine—said they was goin’ to America to work the mines in the West, I joined them. Thought I’d start o’er.”

His gaze finally swung back to her. He appeared so lost, so unsure. Standing, she reached out and touched his arm. He placed his hand over hers. “How could I ’
ave been so wrong? I really thought she loved me.”

She swallowed, then bit her lip. “Perhaps she did. Maybe her parents told her she had to marry this other man, and she felt that she had no choice.”

A soft smile added to his boyish look. “It doesn’t matter now, though, does it?”

“But you still love her.”

“I’ll ne’er forget her. I can’t.”

“Should we ever forget those we’ve loved? Maybe our paths will never cross with them again, but can’t we still be grateful for the depth they added to our lives?” She shrugged. “Surely God allowed us to love them for a reason. Right?” The last word came out as a plea.

Myghal embraced her. “Perhaps so.” Stepping back, he added, “But I hate to see David go through what I went through. Do ye still love him?”

Tears burned her eyes. “He left. Maybe he needed to start over, too.”

“His situation and mine are much different, lass. He loves you, and neither one of you is claimed by another—yet.”

“But that doesn’t mean we weren’t supposed to go our separate ways.”

He said nothing, but she desperately wanted him to reply, to contradict her and tell her that David would come back for her.

A knock on the door broke the moment. “Elizabeth? Are
ya ready?”

“It’s Joe.” She grabbed her sack and walked to the door. Before she opened it, she turned and gave Myghal a tiny smile. “Goodbye.”

He nodded once in her direction, wordless and unmoving. In the ghostly morning glow she thought she saw a tear catch the light on his freckled cheek.