Forgiven (17 page)

“It’s not even like that with me and Joe.
We’re more like roommates,” she told him as she bent down and
picked up the boxers Joe had discarded before climbing into bed
last night. “He sleeps downstairs and I sleep upstairs. We’re just
trying to do the right thing for our children.”

Brian harrumphed.

“What’s that noise all about?” Diane
asked.

“You know what it’s about. You tell Joe I
said, he might want to get a DNA test to find out if the kids you
stuck him with really are his,” Brian said, just before hanging up
in her face again.

Diane didn’t understand Brian at all. He was
the one who had convinced her that Lily was JT’s kid in the first
place. But she wasn’t going to stand around worrying about Brian
Johnson all day long. She would have him back in her arms soon
enough. Right now she had to clean the house and then go to her
custody hearing. She couldn’t wait to see the expressions on JT’s
and Cassandra’s faces when they realized what was about to happen
to them. She was actually giddy with anticipation.

***

As Cassandra slammed down the phone in the
face of her prank caller she realized something pretty wonderful
and it made her smile. A couple weeks ago when she’d answered her
phone and a breather was on the line she’d had a panic attack. With
all the money she’d wasted on her lousy therapist, who’d tried to
convince her that she was having panic attacks because she was
angry… she’d discovered that her panic attacks were because of
fear. She’d prayed that weekend for God to release the fear from
her heart, and even with all the drama she’d endured since that
weekend, she hadn’t had a single panic attack.

She wanted to call JT and tell him that she
had made progress. That even though some woman; most likely Diane,
Cassandra thought, was calling their house doing all this heavy
breathing, she didn’t immediately jump to thoughts of adultery. But
she couldn’t call JT, because even though she wasn’t having panic
attacks anymore, she was now having mad-black-woman attacks. She
wanted to throw something at his head each time he walked through
the door.

She had come back to her husband because she
believed in her heart that he had changed. And she still believed
that today. The problem was that the circumstances around him
hadn’t changed. He’d still hurt and misused people in the past, and
it seemed like they were all trying to get back at him now.
Meanwhile, JT was busy trying to make things right with the people
he had hurt, but was somehow making things all wrong at home in the
process. Cassandra still didn’t understand why he couldn’t borrow
the money he owed Lamont and get them out of this jam. But no, all
of a sudden JT was Mr. Do-The-Right-Thing. As far as Cassandra was
concerned, JT picked the wrong time to have a conscience. She
wanted her family spared the humiliation of going to court over her
husband manipulating women into having sex with him.

As she sat down on the edge of her bed, the
smile was gone from her face. Fresh tears now filled her eyes and
threatened to spill over. There were days when Cassandra wanted to
pack her bags and leave. Then, other days she wanted to forget
about everything that was going on and just enjoy her husband. Then
JT walked through the door, she saw his face, and instead of
running into his arms, her mind put a choke hold on her heart as it
remembered the anger she felt at having to go to court over custody
for a child she loved, but wished didn’t belong to Diane Benson.
This other court case concerning JT’s womanizing wasn’t making her
feel any better towards him either.

For the second time that week, Cassandra
wanted her mommy. She and Mattie hadn’t talked in three weeks and
she truly missed her mother’s companionship. Cassandra hoped that
her mother had cooled down enough to talk to her, because she
really needed a friend right now.

She picked up the phone and dialed Mattie. It
rang five times and then her answering machine picked up. Cassandra
almost hung up, but then she decided to leave a message. “Hey, Mom,
I was just calling to check on you. I hope you’re not over there
eating a bunch of fried foods. You know you’re not supposed to have
all that grease with your high blood pressure.” The line beeped
letting her know she had used up all her message space, so she hung
up, grabbed her purse and key, then put the kids in the car. She
was headed to Lily’s custody hearing. JT was going to meet her
there, so she dropped the kids off at Ms. Shirley’s and headed to
the courthouse.

Cassandra would be so happy when this was all
over. Just when things had started to turn around for her and JT,
she was back to having this love/hate relationship. In her heart
Cassandra knew that Diane had orchestrated this other case against
JT just so she could win the custody battle. And now she and her
children would suffer so Diane could settle a score that she should
never have had to settle in the first place. If JT hadn’t been
sleeping around, none of this would be happening to her. That’s why
Cassandra was barely speaking to her husband now. She blamed him
for this nightmare she was enduring and she wouldn’t be able to
think about repairing her relationship until the judge ruled in
their favor.

“Please, Lord, let him rule in our favor.”
Lily had become a part of her. If they lost her, Cassandra knew it
would be like when they lost their first daughter. She didn’t know
if she and JT would be able to bounce back from another blow like
that. They had barely recovered from the loss of Sarah.

When she arrived at the courthouse, Cassandra
parked her car and walked into the building. Cassandra thought fear
would grip her and that she would have a panic attack the moment
she opened the door. But she was surprisingly calm as she walked to
Courtroom B. She smiled as she remembered all that praying she had
done last night. She might be afraid of the outcome of their
custody battle, but God had eased her fears; He had been doing that
a lot for her lately. Even through this whole ordeal of JT being
accused of manipulating women into having sex with him and
listening to her husband admit that he had manipulated Margie,
Cassandra might have been angry, but she hadn’t lost control of her
emotions enough to go into one of those awful panic attacks.

Rounding the corner, Cassandra saw her mother
seated in a chair outside of Courtroom B. She rushed over to her
and said, “Hey, did you get my message?”

Mattie didn’t look up. She pretended to be
searching for something in her purse. “I didn’t get no message from
you, Cassandra Ann. The last time I talked to you, I was told not
to come near your house again.”

Cassandra sat down next to Mattie and put her
arm around her shoulder. “I know, Mom. But I’ve missed you. I
wanted to talk to you so bad these last few weeks. But I didn’t
know how you would respond to me. Can we please work something
out?”

Mattie did look at Cassandra now. Her gaze
was hard as she said, “You miss me, huh? Is that man of yours
cattin’ around again?”

Cassandra stood up. “Mother, that’s uncalled
for. Can you please try to be reasonable? I miss you, Mother.”
Cassandra put her hand on her chest as she continued, “Me, your
daughter. I want a relationship with you.”

Before Mattie could respond, JT came around
the corner with their attorney, Tom Albright. “Get away from her,
Cassandra,” JT said.

Cassandra looked to her husband and then back
at her mother with an apologetic look on her face. She didn’t care
what problems they had with her mother, she could not tolerate JT
thinking that he could turn her against her own mother. She was
about to let him have it when he said, “Tom got the updated witness
list this morning. Your mother is testifying for Diane.”

“That’s not true,” was all Cassandra could
say. Then she turned back to her mother with a questioning look.
“What are you doing here? I didn’t tell you I was coming here when
I left the message on your answering machine.”

The door to Courtroom B opened and they were
ushered into the room. JT grabbed hold of Cassandra’s arm and moved
her away from Mattie so they could take their seats in the
plaintiff chairs. “What’s going on, JT?” she asked when they were
seated.

“I have no idea. Mattie’s name had been added
to the witness list about two weeks ago, but Tom didn’t get an
updated version until this morning.”

Diane and Joe walked in with their attorney
and sat down in the defendant’s seats. Cassandra saw Diane swivel
around in her seat and smile at Mattie. Cassandra stood up. JT
tried grabbing her arm to get her to sit back down since the Judge
was now being seated. But Cassandra brushed him off. As the bailiff
was asking everyone to rise, Cassandra walked over to her mother
and said, “I want to know what’s going on.”

Mattie didn’t respond. The bailiff was trying
to provide instructions about their case when Cassandra yelled,
“Why are you doing this? What earthly reason could you have for
being Diane’s witness?”

The bailiff walked over to Cassandra and
said, “Ma’am, if you don’t sit down, you will have to leave the
room.”

Cassandra looked at the bailiff. She wanted
to tell him that under normal circumstances she would never disrupt
any type of proceeding. But her mother was here and she was a
witness for the defense. Instead of going into her sorrows,
Cassandra turned away from them and sat back down next to JT.

He grabbed her hand and held onto it tightly.
“Don’t worry, Sanni. God is on our side.”

She closed her eyes and massaged her temples
with her free hand. She hoped and prayed that JT was right. She was
sick and tired of people betraying her and getting away with it.
She silently prayed, Lord, Your word says that you will condemn
every tongue that rises up against us. So, I need you to do
something with all these flapping lips today.

Mattie sat comfortably in the witness chair
answering Luke Watson’s questions. Cassandra was barely able to
stay in her seat when Mattie told the judge that JT treats the
children differently. That he separates them from each other.
Mattie went so far as to tell the judge that when she offered to
watch Lily, JT told her that Lily didn’t need the special attention
and love that a grandmother could give.

JT leaned over to Tom and said, “That’s not
true. She refused to watch Lily. She kept calling her
illegitimate.”

Cassandra glared at her mother as she heard
the attorney ask, “And how does your daughter treat her two young
sons?”

“Oh, like gold. There’s not a thing those
boys want that Cassandra don’t see that they get it,” Mattie
said.

“And how does she treat Lily,” Luke
asked.

“Now that’s a different story,” Mattie said
with a sad expression on her face.

“How different,” Luke wanted to know.

“Well, I’ve seen her leave Lily in wet
diapers for hours. And if Lily cries too long, Cassandra has
slapped that poor little baby on them fat legs of hers.”

“That’s a lie,” Cassandra said as she bounded
out of her seat.

JT pulled her back down and whispered in her
ear. “Calm down, Sanni. This is what they want you to do.”

She heard JT, and she understood exactly why
he wanted her to calm down, but that was her mother on that witness
stand. She knew her mother didn’t want her to be a mother to Lily,
but Cassandra never imagined that she would lie to get Lily away
from them.

Luke asked, “Why do you think your daughter
treats Lily in this manner if she is such a good mother to her two
boys?”

“You see, it’s like this,” Mattie began.
“Cassandra is a good person, but you can only take so much from a
cheat around, no good husband like the one she’s got. She has told
JT time and time again that he has to take care of Lily. But he’s
too busy running after other women to come home and see about his
own child.”

“In your opinion, who would be the better
mother to Lily? Mrs. Diane Benson or your daughter, Cassandra
Thomas?”

Mattie looked as if she was mulling the
question over and then said, “Diane might be trash, but she’s
Lily’s mother. And while Cassandra may be a good person, she
shouldn’t have to raise another woman’s child. That’s how children
get mistreated and end up dead.”

Cassandra exploded. She jumped from her seat
and started screaming at Mattie. “How could you? How could you? I
will never forgive you. Do you hear me? I am done with you. I don’t
even know who you are.”

JT tried to put Cassandra back in her seat,
but there was no doing. She was outraged and would not be denied
this tirade.

The bailiff and security guard grabbed
Cassandra as the judge said, “That’s it, ma’am. You’re out of
here.”

“Take your hands off my wife,” JT said as he
grabbed Cassandra, pulling her away from the security guard.

“Why is she doing this? Why?” Cassandra
screamed as she started gasping for breath.

“Don’t panic, Sanni,” JT said as he held onto
her.

“Sir, we need you to let her go, or we’ll
have to remove both of you,” the bailiff told JT.

“She’s having a panic attack. Leave us
alone!” JT yelled at the bailiff.

Tom grabbed JT and said in a low voice,
“They’re not going to hurt her, JT. They’re just going to give her
a seat out in the hall. Please sit back down, so you won’t get
thrown out as well.”

“I can’t leave her like this. She’s
struggling to breathe.”

The judge brought the gavel down and said,
“Ten minute recess.”

JT sat Cassandra down and whispered in her
ear, “Remember what I told you, Sanni. You can conquer this. Just
trust God.”

She leaned her head down between her legs and
tried to calm herself. “Lord… help… me,” Cassandra said between
breaths. She knew people were staring at her, but she couldn’t help
herself.