Forgotten Truths (The Forgotten Truths Series) (15 page)

The dreams came back just like I had predicted, and when I finally woke up the next morning, I had turned completely sideways with my head almost hanging off the side of the bed by the window. It took me several minutes to untangle myself from the sheets, which were damp with sweat. My throat was sore, so I knew I had screamed a good portion of the night. I could only imagine how James felt across the hall. There was no doubt that he had heard me all night but it was obvious that he respected my request not to come over and wake me. I slowly slipped out of bed and felt awfully sore. I knew I had to have been thrashing around because of where I woke up, but I didn’t expect to be in pain. I opened my door and saw that James’ was open. I slowly walked across the hall and silently slid inside. He was on top of the blankets but was lying on his back with his feet firmly planted on the floor. His hands were clasped together on his stomach and looked like they were white. I went over and carefully sat down next to him. His eyes were closed, but I knew he wasn’t sleeping. I diverted my gaze down to my hands and held them together as I waited for him to speak. I didn’t have to wait long.

“Don’t make me do that again.” His voice was low, and I finally heard anger in it. I wasn’t sure if it was meant for me or directed more at himself since he had agreed to not wake me up. He sat up and fixed me with a gaze that was full of hurt meant for me, and irritation directed toward himself.  I had to look down at my hands again.

“Do you know what torture you put me through last night?” He leaned forward and rested his head in his hands. “I never thought you’d stop screaming. I was ready to break your door down in case you had locked it. But I had promised not to go into your room. Instead, I sat over here and could only imagine what you were dreaming about, knowing that whatever it was, you had gone through in your past, and it was so horrible that you can’t tell anyone about it.”

“I’m sorry.” I wasn’t sure I had ever said those words before, but he was making me feel so guilty, and I knew I deserved it. I didn’t know what else to say.

“You barely have a voice, which I guess is no surprise given that you didn’t stop screaming until about twenty minutes ago.” I felt his eyes on me again, but I couldn’t look back. I could hear the confusion and the anxiousness in his voice when he asked again, “What happened?”

“I told you that I couldn’t tell you,” I whispered,
as I closed my eyes tightly. I could feel the pain pulsing off of him.

“I need something here, Love. You can’t do this to me, not after last night. Give me something. I know that your reason for not letting people touch you has to do with whatever happened to you in your past. But I need something, Love. You have to tell me something.”

“The only thing I can tell you is that I was kidnapped when I was younger and that they did things to me. Is that enough?” I leaned forward, trying to get him to look at me now. “I can’t tell you any more. I just can’t.”

“You have a tendency to get
kidnapped.” He lifted his head and turned it toward me. “Do you think you’ll ever be able to tell me what happened?”

“I’m not sure,” I replied honestly.

“It’s not healthy to hold something this big inside.”

“I don’t know what to tell you. I just can’t talk about it.”

He slid his arm around me so he could pull me into his chest. He kissed the top of my head before he said, “Well, we have time. I won’t rush you. But don’t make me sit over here and listen to you scream nonstop for hours anymore.”

I wasn’t sure what to say to him. I didn’t want him
in there when I was having those nightmares. These were different from the ones about my father. In the dreams about my father, I wasn’t fighting for my life. In those dreams, I wasn’t fighting against everyone near me. If I struggled against James in the dreams with my father, there was no doubt that I would fight against him while having these nightmares.

“I don’t want you in the room with me when I sleep anymore.”

“Then let me at least come over and wake you up. And who says that your dreams won’t change if you’re holding me while you sleep? Maybe you should try that.”

I was shaking my head before he finished. “I’m not risking it. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You’re doing more damage making me stay over here.” He moved his arm up on my shoulder. “Please let me at least sit with you tonight. If you start thrashing around, I’ll wake you up.”

“What if I don’t wake up?” I whispered. “What if I can’t?”

“Then I’ll do what I can to help you through the night. Let me do this, let me at least try.”

I sighed. I owed him. “Okay
, we’ll try it.”

Chapter VIII

Against my better judgment, I let James sit on the bed next to me when I was ready to sleep that night. He was convinced that if I held him while I slept, the dreams would go away just like they had before. But since I couldn’t tell him about these dreams, I couldn’t explain to him how I knew it wouldn’t work. Instead, I told him to try to keep me awake. I knew putting it off wouldn’t solve anything, but I was willing to try about anything. After a few hours though, I couldn’t put it off. I was ready to sleep, and James had started to doze several times as well. When he put his arm around me, I reluctantly leaned against him. Within a matter of a few minutes, I was asleep.

The dream started out normally. I was in a dark room made of cold brick. I was standing in the middle of the room, not sure of where I was. I heard the door behind me ope
n, but there was still no light as someone grabbed me from behind. I immediately started to struggle. My arms were tied in front of me, but I fought as hard as I could without any luck. I was struck across the face with something sharp. I cried out in pain, but continued to fight back. Someone started to drag me out of the room and down a dark hallway. There was a light at the end of the hallway, and the person was dragging me toward it. I heard screams all around me. A whip was smacking against human flesh. There was no other sound like it, and I knew that was where I was being dragged. Still fighting, panic boiling over and my breath coming in short bursts, I still wasn’t able to get out of this person’s arms. My hands were lifted above my head, and after a moment I felt the slap of the whips against my back.

I sat up in the bed with a scream still coming out of my mouth. Tears were streaming down my face, and I was gasping for breath. James
was straddling my legs so that he was right over me. I closed my eyes as I burst into fresh tears. He pulled me to his chest while he made soothing sounds. No words came out of his mouth. He moved his hand in slow circles on my back but didn’t try to stop my tears. I kept crying from a combination of the dream and because I kept remembering how he had looked when I opened my eyes. One of his eyes was turning dark again. What I had feared had happened. I had attacked him while I was sleeping. I knew he had probably been trying to wake me up, or calm me down at least, and then didn’t get out of the way fast enough. But it was the fact that I had done it that kept me crying. When I didn’t stop or calm down in the normal time it took me, James started rocking me back and forth.

“You need to calm down, Love.” His voice was in my ear. “It was just a dream.”

I slowly sat back while I tried to stop the sobs, and I noticed the tears started to stop. I cautiously reached up to place my hand next to his eye. He tried not to flinch, but I still noticed.

“I’m so sorry.” Fresh, silent tears started down my face.

“The only reason this happened,” he pointed to his eye, “is because I unsuccessfully tried to hold your arms down. I was more afraid that you were going to hurt yourself.”

“So now what do we do?” I looked down at my hands. “I don’t want to hurt you anymore.”

“I’ll stay in here until I can figure out what I can do to make these stop.” He put his hand under my chin and lifted my head to look at him. “I’m not giving up on you.”

Before I could say anything, we heard footsteps coming down the hall. Captain Brown had returned.

“James?” Captain Brown’s voice bounced off the walls.

James was up in an instant. He pushed
me back down against the bed and placed a finger against my lips as he whispered, “Please pretend you’re asleep.”

I didn’t question him.
I immediately closed my eyes and adjusted myself to look like I was still sleeping. I heard James open the door and close it, except it didn’t latch.

“Yes, Captain?” He was right outside.

“Oh. Why were you in there? And why is your eye black again?”

“She’s been having nightmares, some pretty bad ones.” I could hear James shift uncomfortably. “Did you just get back into town?”

“So you’ve told her then?” Captain Brown ignored his question.

I sat up, curious. What was it that he needed to tell me that everyone else seemed to know about?

“Not yet. Something else came up.”

“Well, you better do it very soon because things are going to get moving very quickly.”

“Sir, I don’t mean to question you, but why must I do it? Why can’t you tell her?”

“She wouldn’t believe me, James. She’s your age. You’re all she has right now. She’s bound to trust you. If she’ll believe anyone, it would be you.”

“Sir, she’s been through a lot, and she is finally starting to trust me. But I don’t think I can do it to her.”

“Look, James, I know you’ve become clos
e with her-”

“I love her, Captain,” h
e interrupted.

The captain paused.
When he spoke again, it was in a softer tone. “She has to know the truth. You know that.”

“Yes, Sir. But I need more time.”

“You don’t have more time, James. You have to make her believe you, and very soon.”

There was no more talk after that. I quickly slid back into the bed
and threw the covers over my head. When I heard the door latch, I froze. It was so quiet that I finally peeked out from my hiding place. James hadn’t come back in. I sat up and looked out the window. What was it that James didn’t want to tell me?

Later that morning I left the room in search of James. He had never come back, which I should have been grateful for. But I knew he was avoiding me because there was no doubt that he knew I’d heard his conversation with Captain Brown. I went downstairs and looked in the study. He wasn’t there. I didn’t hear a sound in the house to make me believe that anyone was in here with me. I expected Captain Brown had gone back into town and James had probably gone out for a walk on the beach. I never heard Will and most of the time forgot he was even living there.

I stood in the foyer for a moment as I realized I was free to look around as I pleased for once. I walked over to the desk in the study, drawn there for no real reason. Two letters were folded under a paperweight. I knew I had no business reading them, but I pulled them toward me anyway. I unfolded the first one. It was addressed to Captain Brown from about five months ago.

Captain Brown,

I have good news for you. I believe I have found your daughter. If you will send someone to me within the next few days, I can start on the voyage immediately. It might take awhile for us to find her, but we’re on the right path this time. I’m positive.

Captain F.P. Taylor

So James had been right, the captain’s daughter had been found. It wasn’t just a rumor. The letter beneath this one started off with the word “congratulations.” I hesitated before picking it up, confusion filling my mind. If she had been found, why wouldn’t she have been here with us? Maybe she’d been taken somewhere else for the time being, seeing as I was also living in the house. But would that have really mattered? There were plenty of rooms and enough space for one more person.

My hand hovered over the letter, but I hesitated yet again. Something about the letter had me feeling very uneasy, even though I had no idea what it was about. It was addressed to Captain Brown from Captain Taylor again, but it was slightly longer.
I picked it up slowly, scanned it once and then paid much closer attention the second time.

Captain Brown,

Congratulations! I’m very glad to learn that the girl is indeed your daughter. I must say it has been a long time coming. But at least she has been found.

You said in your last letter that she doesn’t seem to know who she really is. Does this mean that she doesn’t remember being kidnapped? How could she forget it? She was eight when it happened, not something you would think that she’d forget about at that age, or any age for that matter. You said she also believes that that pirate, Shawn is his name by the way, is her real father. I’m not sure I understand why she believes this. Have you figured this mystery out? Let me know.

Captain F.P. Taylor

I collapsed into the chair, not able to take my eyes off the letter. I reread it until I had memorized it. This wasn’t possible. They were mistaking me for someone else. Shawn really was my father. He had to be. And I remembered being kidnapped. Then it dawned on me what James had asked me on the road. He asked me what my earliest memory was, and I had said I was about eight years old. I couldn’t remember any of my life before being kidnapped the first time. But I still didn’t believe it. It didn’t make any sense.

The front door opened and closed and I heard someone, probably James, whistling in the foyer. He came closer toward the study, but stopped immediately after entering. His whistling ended abruptly. I lifted my gaze to find him frozen in place in the doorway, his eyes on the letter in my hands.

“Is this what you were supposed to tell me?” I asked, the
letter dropping out of my hand to land quietly on the floor.

He looked at me. “Andrea-”

“You expect me to believe it?” I stood up.

“Andrea, Love, think about it. You said yourself you don’t remember anything before you were eight. You don’t remember your past. For all you know, it co
uld be true.” He came toward me and stood on the other side of the desk.

“Just because I can’t remember my past doesn’t mean this is true.” I stepped back.

“Think about it.”

“Why should I believe you?”

“I’ve never lied to you, Andrea!” He threw his hands in the air. “Name one thing I’ve lied to you about.”

“What about this?” I shouted as I pointed down at the letter on the floor. “How is keeping this somewhat important fact about my life from me not lying?”

He leaned forward over the desk. “Do you believe it’s true?”

I leaned back and dragged
a hand down my face. I hadn’t realized I’d started to cry. Before coming to this house, I never cried. Now it felt like it was all I ever did. I fell into the chair behind me, exhausted once again.

“Andrea, Love, talk to me. What are you thinking?” He came around the
desk. He knelt on the floor beside the chair I was in.

This had to be some sort of trick. James said he
hadn’t known who I was when he kidnapped me. “On the ship, you said you didn’t know who I was.”

“I didn’t. I was just told that we were rescuing a girl from pirates. It wasn’t until you first met Captain Brown, and he reacted the way he did that he finally told me.”

“And why didn’t you tell me then?”

“You wouldn’t have believed me. I had to gain your trust. But that isn’t why I wanted to gain your trust.” He quickly added that last part when I lifted my eyes to look at his face. “I wanted you to be able to trust someone. I wanted you to trust me. I had intended that from the first moment I met you, back when you bit my hand. I knew you were going to struggle with it, and I did everything I could to make it easier for you. I never imagined any of this though. Please believe me.”

“How did he know? All it took was that one look and you’re saying he was certain of it.”

“You’re the spitting image of his wife.” He spoke softly. “There is also a strong resemblance between you and William, though I didn’t catch it until you were in the same room that one morning.”

“Why not?”

“I hadn’t thought about it.” He shrugged. “My mind was on other things.”

“So you believe it?” I asked.

“I have no reason not to. I must have been brought here about a year after you had been kidnapped.” He rubbed the back of his head. “His wife was gone by then.”

I rested my head in my hands. “I can’t remember anything from before.”

“Do you even remember who kidnapped you?”

“If I heard his name, I’d remember it. I only remember what they did to me.”

“And then when they freed you…”

I lifted my head. “Freed me? I barely escaped alive. And then I was wandering the streets, trying to get away from the place when I ran into Shawn. He immediately took me under his wing, and I thought he was my father.”

“So you admit that you didn’t know.” He put his hand on my knee.

“I had just gone through a pretty dramatic experience, James. I obviously wasn’t thinking clearly.” I looked at him. “I didn’t know my right from my left.”

“So you’re thinking it could be true.” He was watching me closely.

“I… I don’t know.  I was only eight at the time, and this was almost ten years ago. How could Shawn have done this to me? I can’t believe this. I mean, I never would have thought any of this could have happened.”

“I promise, Love. I’ll do everything I can to make sure this is true.”

“I need to talk to Shawn,” I said suddenly.

James sat back on his knees. “What?”