Forsaken by the Others (4 page)

“Jack, the crazy guy who kept threatening Shia at knife- and gunpoint to join the
hunters, is a vampire now?”

Sara’s incredulity was perfectly understandable. I was having a hard time coming to
grips with the idea, too.

“Aye,” Clarisse drawled. “He was so high and mighty until he knew he was faced with
death, not in battle, but from a slow sickness eating him from the inside out. As
with most people who choose to hunt us, he learned too late that his hatred was due
to his envy, and so he bargained with the devil to become what he hated so much.”

We all considered this, save for Analie, who was still pointedly giving us her back.
Christoph looked uncomfortable, not meeting anybody’s eyes, and Mouse was thoughtfully
nibbling her lower lip as she watched him. Clarisse had put an elbow on the table
and was cupping her chin, staring at Sara and me like she was expecting us to say
something captivating at any moment.

The voice that broke the silence wasn’t the one I expected. Ashi ran his fingers through
his hair in a nervous gesture, shifting his weight from foot to foot as if he were
about to bolt. “They never tell you what you’re getting into until it’s too late.
Doesn’t matter if it’s vampires or werewolves. He’s going to regret his choice, and
a lot of people are going to suffer for it.”

That seemed to break Christoph’s tension. He scoffed, shoving the smaller man’s shoulder.
“Don’t tell me you’re regretting being changed. You know you were asking for it when
you picked that fight.”

“Yeah, well, even if I was, being stuck here was never supposed to be part of the
deal.”

Royce tilted his head, and I’d swear the look he gave Ashi held a kind of hunger that
I’d only seen in the vampire when we were alone and he was thinking about bad, bad
things to do to me. “Would you have preferred death? I had no need to spare your life
then, nor do I now.”

Whoa. Whatever was going on between these two was far more intense than I had previously
guessed.

Ashi bared his teeth and settled into a fighting stance, meeting Royce’s gaze. He
wasn’t giving an inch—despite the nervous sweat he’d broken into.

“Try to take me, leech. Just try.”

“Och, that’s enough,” Clarisse said, shaking a scolding finger at Royce. I was more
than a little surprised to see the older vampire bow his head, the hunger and tension
he’d exhibited only a moment ago replaced by a small, mockingly contrite smile. A
grudging concession, maybe, but he was willing to back down for her. “You know I’ve
laid the claim, Alec. He’s mine, now.”

“As you say,” Royce murmured, though his gaze briefly slid back to give Ashi a look
that I interpreted as a warning. Ashi remained right where he was, stiff and unyielding
in his stance, his raised fists only lowering a fraction. “Do try to recall that I
am master here.”

Ashi’s lip curled. “Not mine. You don’t own me. I’m not some stupid, broken house
pet like those two.”

Christoph and Analie whirled on Ashi, both of them growling—though Analie sounded
a bit more like I expected of a werewolf. Christoph, on the other hand, made a sound
more like a guttering wheeze.

Mouse rolled her eyes heavenward, and Clarisse put her head in her hands. “Here we
go. . . .”

It was as if Ashi had no idea what kind of effect he’d created. He was still stubbornly
glaring at Royce like he could hate him to death.

The vampire leaned forward, and I felt the cold breath of his whisper against my cheek,
making me shiver. “Are you certain you wish to raise the ire of your packmates, Ashi?
I shouldn’t think I would have to remind you that you have few friends here.”

Oh, God. I didn’t even want to
imagine
what kind of look must be on the vampire’s face while he said that.

A fine tremble was visible in Ashi’s arms, but he stood his ground. “I don’t need
their friendship. I need their respect.”

“You lost it when you tricked me into coming here, you asshole.” Christoph glared
at the much smaller man, though I noted he didn’t seem in any hurry to attempt any
kind of physical confrontation. He kept some distance between them, edging almost
imperceptibly closer to Mouse.

Ashi sneered, not breaking Royce’s gaze. I thought maybe he was concerned that if
he looked away, Royce might pounce on him.

I wouldn’t put something like that past the vampire.

“If you weren’t such a sucker for beer and football, you wouldn’t have fallen for
it, you imbecile.”

Analie shocked me by socking Ashi in the arm, sending him stumbling to one side and
crashing into the table. Mouse, Clarisse, and Wes scooted their chairs out of the
way, but made no move to help Ashi, who was sprawled on the floor and clutching at
his head. Hell, the vampires looked bored.

You know you have an exciting lifestyle when the novelty of werewolves fighting in
the kitchen has worn off.

“It’s
your fault
I’m still stuck here, you insensitive asshole!” Analie was verging on tears again—but
there was a hint of fang and a not-so-subtle glow to her eyes that hadn’t been there
a moment ago. Hormonal teenaged werewolves. Gotta love ’em. “I can’t even send Gavin
a letter! I’m not going to see him for
years
because of you!”

Royce’s fingertips dug into my shoulder. This situation was escalating to a very uncomfortable
level in more ways than one.

As fascinating as it was watching this little drama unfold, I did not want to get
caught in the middle of a fight between vampires and werewolves. Even if it was all
verbal, this was way too messed up, even for me. I cleared my throat, drawing the
eye of every supernatural in the room.

Peachy.

“Look, I know this is not my business, but maybe we can come up with some kind of
compromise, huh? Analie, I’ll take a letter to Gavin for you.” The glow in her eyes
seemed slightly less threatening, even though the wide grin she gave me was made with
a mouthful of fangs. I wasn’t sure if the twinge of fear twisting in my gut was from
nervousness at the idea of meeting Analie’s caretaker, or from the way Royce’s anger
suddenly became palpable. I hastily continued before Analie could say something else
to break my heart and leave me feeling obligated to do another favor I probably couldn’t
afford. “It’s not like it’s a big deal. I don’t have to stick around, just deliver
it—right? I can drop it off and leave it at that.”

Royce growled. Actually
growled.
And since he was still hovering over me, the sound vibrated uncomfortably against
my ear, making me squirm.

His voice was cold and each word carefully enunciated. “Ms. Waynest, my arrangements
to see to your safety by taking you away from all of the dangerous elements you have
become a magnet for will be completely negated if you insist on carrying forward with
this foolishness. You’ve already managed to raise the ire of the East Coast werewolves,
the White Hats, and the police. Do you truly plan on tempting fate with the werewolves
in Los Angeles?”

Annoyed, I twisted around on the chair to face him. “You know what? Yeah, I do. I
don’t need you to keep rubbing it in that I’ve screwed up my life. What do you think
I spent the last month doing? For weeks, I haven’t had a break from the voice in my
head telling me nonstop what a fucking screwup I’ve been. I don’t need you telling
me, too.”

A light touch to my arm drew my gaze away from Royce’s. Sara was watching me with
such concern that I was having a hard time holding on to my anger. “Shia, I know things
have been rough on you lately, but maybe you should listen to him. You weren’t here
to see what it was like the last few weeks. ”

My gaze flicked back and forth between Sara and Royce. He didn’t appear to be thrilled
with Sara for butting in, but he wasn’t gritting his fangs anymore either, so maybe
her involvement in this conversation wasn’t such a terrible thing. As badly as I wanted
to hold on to my righteous anger, this wasn’t the time or the place for it. Explaining
my reasoning wasn’t going to be fun, but I wasn’t going to let this go so easily.

“I’m sorry,” I said, my words as slow and measured as Royce’s had been only a few
moments ago, though for a far different reason. “This isn’t something I can just let
go. I’ve been a . . . a really terrible, thoughtless person for the last month. I’ve
done some things that are going to haunt me for the rest of my life.”

I’d hunted Chaz and other Sunstriker werewolves like they were dogs. I’d joined and
aided a group of extremists who had no regard for the lives of Others or people sympathetic
to their cause. I’d ignored my friends and family for the sake of revenge.

I’d killed someone.

“There’s blood on my hands, and the only way I can wash it away is by being a better
person.”

“Soap and water takes care of that, you know,” Christoph commented. Wes bopped him
on the back of the head, prompting a watery smile out of me.

“I’ve done some really stupid things, guys. I need to feel better about myself, inside
and out, and one of the ways I can do that is by repaying the kindness Analie has
shown me. She’s not asking for much, and it will be a start on my road to recovery.
Am I making any sense?”

“No,” Ashi said from his seat on the floor. His dark brown eyes were narrowed, watching
me with distrust.

Clarisse and Wes both shushed him, Mouse shook her head, and Royce cupped my chin
in his palm to make me turn my head to look at him. The melancholy expression he wore
didn’t suit him, but it was an improvement over the irritation he’d been exuding for
most of this conversation.

“I believe the fault in this matter lies with me. If you understood the danger you
would be putting yourself—and Sara—in by contacting the Goliath pack, you wouldn’t
be so eager to do this.”

I put my hand on his cheek, the tips of my fingers playing along his smooth skin as
I studied his features. There were tiny creases like half-formed laugh lines around
his eyes and mouth. His lips were thin but pliant under my caressing thumb. The tension
in his jaw gradually eased under my touch, the muscles no longer visibly bunching
up around his cheekbones and the line of his jaw.

It took me a little time to figure out how I wanted to express my thoughts without
making myself sound like a suicidal lunatic.

“I’m not deliberately putting myself at risk this time because I have a death wish—I’m
doing it because I need to prove to myself that I still have the capacity to do great
good, not just great evil. There’s no way to undo the pain and suffering and death
I was responsible for, but repaying Analie’s kindness and doing something to make
her happy is a step in the right direction for me.” I gave Royce a significant look.
“I value my freedom and humanity. I need to do something to remind myself what those
things are worth, and to earn them back.”

My turning the vampire’s own words back on him gave him pause. Though I could tell
he was not entirely happy with the idea, he didn’t seem up to fighting me over my
choice anymore. He leaned in to press a kiss to my brow, his own words so soft that
I caught some of the others in the kitchen leaning forward to listen in out of the
corner of my eye.

“If there is one thing I have learned over my many centuries of life, it is that humans
most often cause their own downfall by only seeing what their lives should have been,
rather than shaping their lives into what they wish them to be. Your desire to be
a better person is admirable, but I wish that you would have found some other task
to start with.”

“Yeah, well, when have I ever taken the easy road?”

Sara snorted. I gave her a look.

Royce breathed a sound that might have been a sigh or a growl, then urged me to stand.
“As you wish. Analie, write your letter and prepare your package.” He had to talk
over her squeals of glee as he continued. “Ms. Waynest, Ms. Halloway, I need you to
prepare your things. I’ve arranged for someone to drive you to a private airfield.
My pilot will take you to California. You two will remain with Clyde Seabreeze while
I make better arrangements for your security and safety upon your return to New York.”

“And how long will we be gone?” Sara asked. The tone of her voice drew my attention
back to her. She was hiding her anxiety well to anyone who didn’t know her as well
as I did, but she was twining a loop of her hair around her finger over and over.
A sure sign she was worried about something.

Royce shook his head. “I can’t be certain. Only as long as it takes for me to be sure
you will both be safe and able to return to your loved ones. A month or two at best.
Perhaps as long as a year.”

That gave me a twinge. Worse, Sara paled, her already china-doll complexion going
waxen. It occurred to me belatedly that I wasn’t the only one who would be leaving
behind people who were important to me.

While I would not be able to see my parents or brothers, Royce, or any of my other
friends, Sara would have to leave behind her sister and her boyfriend, Arnold. Not
seeing our friends and family for that long wasn’t going to be easy, but the alternatives
were to endanger all of Royce’s people, jail, or death by rabid werewolves or White
Hats.

Staying with Clyde wasn’t appealing, but I’d take staying with the other vampire over
dying any day.

Royce sent me with Sara to collect what remained of our things in the room we had
briefly shared before I went on my rampage. Sara had already packed away most of her
stuff before she went to stay with Royce’s ex-honey, the model and closet elf, Dawn
Hartley. Her dogs were still with the elf, who had kindly offered to care for them
until Sara returned to claim them.

Dawn was awfully chummy with Royce, considering they were no longer an item. Though
I often did my best not to think about Others who didn’t show any personal interest
in me or butt their way into my life, I had to wonder what she had to gain that she
would so easily accept Sara into her home.

Not that Sara had suffered for it. She looked great. Better than great. Healthier
than I had ever seen her.

And she was pointedly avoiding looking at me as she helped me stuff some things into
the duffel bag I had brought with me weeks ago. I hadn’t had time to unpack before
I went postal, so there was little for me to collect and put in the bag but some toiletries,
the Rolodex I had left on the counter, and some clothing I vaguely recalled leaving
in a pile on the bathroom floor that was now neatly folded in a stack on the bed.

“I’m sorry,” I said, once the last piece of clothing was shoved into the bag. “I didn’t
think things would turn out like this.”

Sara finally looked at me, her icy blue eyes having taken on the chill look she usually
reserved for deadbeat clients. “That’s the problem, Shia. You never think things through.
You don’t consider the consequences of your actions.”

That stung. Mostly because she was right.

“We’re supposed to be partners. You could have consulted with me before you ran off.
What am I supposed to tell Arnold? Who’s going to check on Janine? You know how unstable
she is. . . .”

Sara’s younger sister was a neurotic wreck. She would probably pitch a fit because
Sara was leaving, but Janine was perfectly capable of taking care of herself. Even
though I knew Sara was just bringing up Janine to make me feel even worse than I already
did, I couldn’t hold it against her. This whole mess was my fault, start to finish,
and Sara was the one paying the price for my foolish decisions and behavior.

Grimacing, I rubbed the back of my neck and looked away, not wanting to face her while
I spoke. “I don’t have an easy answer for you. If you want, I’ll make the calls and
give them the news. We can’t take Arnold with us—if Royce wouldn’t let him visit you
here, I can’t imagine Clyde would be any different—and Janine is probably safer not
knowing where we’re going. Maybe we can tell her we have an important case taking
us out of town or something. It’s close enough to the truth that she won’t question
it and won’t make demands about visiting or following us, either.”

My offer to be the one to break the news mellowed Sara out somewhat. She considered
the offer, looking down at her hands as she toyed with the buttons on the cuffs of
her long-sleeved shirt. When she answered, her voice had lost its brittle edge, replaced
by resignation.

“Fine. Do it. Call Arnold first; explaining to him will take less time.”

I nodded, zipping up my duffel and making my way out of the bedroom, Sara following
close behind. Analie was waiting for me in the living room, her package already ready
for me. Sara scooted past me to plop down on the couch, and I set the duffel bag down
next to the door, accepting the small box Analie held out to me.

She shifted her weight from foot to foot, her eyes wide and imploring. “I wrote the
address on the box. I’ll call ahead so Gavin knows you’re coming, but make sure you
don’t have any vampires with you when you go, okay? He‘s—we’re—Goliaths, I mean—we’re
usually very careful never to have anything to do with vamps. Ever. As long as it’s
just you, and maybe Sara, too, you should be fine.”

That sounded ominous. I wasn’t the biggest fan of vampires either, but showing up
alone at the home of a member of a rival Were pack wouldn’t be the brightest idea.
Maybe I could just leave the package on Gavin’s doorstep and hightail it.

“Can you give him a hug for me, too? And Jo-Jo? Please?”

Oh, cripes. The puppy dog eyes the kid was giving me went straight to my heart, shredding
it like a politician’s phone records.

Sara’s giving me a very significant ‘do-it-or-we’ll-be-having-words-later’ look went
a long way to help me along with my decision. “Okay. Yeah, I’ll do it.”

Analie squealed in delight and hugged me tight, crushing the box against my chest
and prompting a twinge in my ribs. The little preteen Were was
strong.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

I gasped out something unintelligible in reply, and she let me go, dashing out the
door and calling for Mouse at the top of her lungs. She was cute as a button, but
man, she had no concept of her own strength.

Rubbing my aching ribs with one hand, I put the box on top of my duffel and continued
on to the kitchen, using the phone on the counter next to a microwave. Sara called
out Arnold and Janine’s numbers for me from her spot on the couch, and I dialed the
mage first. He answered after a couple rings.

“Arnold, it’s Shia.”

He didn’t sound terribly surprised to hear from me. “Jeez, where the hell have you
been? Sara and I have been worried sick about you.”

“I know, I know. I was extraordinarily stupid, more so than usual, and I’m really
sorry about that. ”

“I take it you’ve been saying that a lot lately,” Arnold said. I could practically
hear him grinning through the phone. “If that’s the case, I assume you don’t need
me to rub it in, too.”

“Yeah,” I muttered. “Anyway, listen—”

“Hold up a sec. Did you end up turning Were? Did you shift with the moon?”

Train of thought derailed at the station. It took me a sec to get my mouth back in
gear to answer him. “Um. No, I didn’t.”

“You didn’t?” He made a thoughtful sound. I heard some rummaging and clattering through
the phone, as well as a few low curses. Then a thump, and the sound of pages being
turned. “Hold on . . . just a—here. Anything happen when the moon rose? Anything at
all?”

“I didn’t grow fur, if that’s what you’re asking. I coughed up some black stuff, and
some of it came out my eyes and ears.” It might have been absurd to have listened
to it, but the belt had talked me out of putting my faith in the mage for finding
a solution to prevent my potential lycanthropic infection. It hadn’t occurred to me
until he started asking questions that he might have information about what was happening
to me. “Do you know why?”

“Black stuff. Huh. Consistency?”

I made a face he couldn’t see. “Arnold . . .”

“Sorry, it’s for science. This is important, Shia. Anything you can tell me about
the symptoms—even the slightest detail—could make a difference.”

“Ugh, I don’t know. It was gross. It was mixed with blood, kind of thick and oozy.
The first time, I had a nosebleed and a headache, then the stuff kept coming for what
felt like hours. Earlier tonight it plugged up my sinuses and made it hard to breathe
for a minute or two, then it all came out in a rush. What does it mean?”

“It means you’ve got some strain of lycanthropy that I need to do more research on.
Sounds like something in your body is fighting it. Might be the vampire blood. Any
chance I can get a sample?”

Well. Couldn’t have asked for a better opening for letting him know about what else
was going epically wrong in our lives. “I’m afraid not. That’s kind of why I called
you to begin with. I’m really sorry—again—that I’m not calling with good news, but
Sara and I aren’t safe yet. There are still people after us, and we’re going out of
town to lay low for a while.”

“Can’t say I’m surprised considering all of the people who are after you. I suppose
it’s better you two are somewhere safe until all this blows over. Where are you guys
going, and for how long? Someplace I can visit?”

“We’re going to Los Angeles until Royce settles things here. We’re staying with some
vampire Royce knows, so it probably wouldn’t be a good idea for you to swing by unless
we can meet somewhere other than the vamp’s house.”

Arnold didn’t reply right away, waiting just long enough for the silence to grow ominous
before he spoke. “Whatever you do, stay away from the werewolves out there. There
are two primary packs that will pose a great deal of danger to you if they even get
a whiff of your scent. The Amberguard pack might just kill you, but the Goliaths will
kill and eat you. Not necessarily in that order.”

That was . . . good to know.

Particularly considering that Analie had mentioned her pack name at one point. Gavin,
the werewolf I was supposed to deliver the package to, was a Goliath.

Great. Just peachy keen.

“Hey, you’ve got my number. Just call me if you run into any trouble. I won’t be there
to help you two, but I might be able to talk you through any tough spots. And check
in with me in a few days; I might have an answer for you about what the black stuff
is and what it means.”

For the first time, I truly regretted blowing off Arnold’s offer to help me over the
last month. He might have saved me a lot of grief if I hadn’t listened to the belt
and had contacted him before the sickness set in. Even though he’d as good as confirmed
I was still infected, I wasn’t afraid anymore. He had resources in his mage coven
and access to potential solutions I couldn’t have dreamed of coming up with on my
own. The belt had well and truly warped my perceptions of what my options and who
my friends really were.

“Thank you,” I said, voice a bit thick. “Arnold, you’re a lifesaver.”

“Hey, what are friends for? Now put my girlfriend on. I want to hear her voice before
she leaves.”

I leaned over the breakfast bar and tossed the phone to Sara. She was quick to scoop
it up and rise from the couch, heading with purposeful strides and a quiet murmur
into the phone into the bedroom, shutting the door behind herself.

It seemed as good a time as any to find Royce and let him know we were almost ready
to leave. The two of us needed to have a chat, too. This entire situation was driving
me bonkers. After I had finally broken down and given in to my desire for him, we
had to separate. The breadth of a continent would be between us, taking away any chance
I had to get to know him as more than the embodiment of a fairytale nightmare and
understand what I had committed myself to practically before it began.

No one was in the hall when I left the apartment, though I could see someone’s booted
foot and jean-clad leg sticking out, barely visible in the doorway leading to the
foyer and outside. Whoever was on night watch was sprawled at the front desk.

I headed up the stairs, quietly padding my way to the third floor. The door leading
into Royce’s quarters was ajar, light spilling out through the crack. I nudged the
door open a bit and poked my head in, glancing around for the vampire.

He wasn’t in the main room with all its intimidating open space and eclectic collection
of statuary. For some reason, I felt the need to tiptoe across the hardwood floors,
my bare feet not making a sound as I made my way to Royce’s bedroom.

The vampire was there, as I had suspected, though I was not expecting to see him seated
on the edge of the futon with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. His
voice, when it came, startled me.

“I don’t think I have had so many of my plans go awry in centuries. Why is it that
whatever you involve yourself in always takes so many unexpected turns?”

I bit my lip, hesitating in the doorway before settling down next to him. He lifted
his head and folded his arms against his knees, glancing at me.

“One of the others has arranged to give you a cell phone to use to stay in touch with
me while you are with Clyde. He would not have been my first choice, but there’s little
help for it now. If anything goes wrong, call me immediately.”

I swallowed around the growing lump in my throat. “You expect things to go wrong?
Why are you sending us to stay with him if you don’t trust him?”

“He is one of the most powerful allies I have who was amenable to the idea of harboring
you two while I make other arrangements,” he replied. “It isn’t ideal, but his debts
to me are significant enough that he should make an effort to keep you safe.”

That wasn’t terribly reassuring. It wasn’t until Royce ran his thumb under one of
my eyes that I realized I was crying again. I’d promised myself I wouldn’t do any
more of that, but so many things were going to hell just when I’d thought I was getting
a handle on life again that I couldn’t help it. I didn’t want to leave New York. I
didn’t want to leave my friends and family behind.

More than that, I didn’t want to leave Royce. Not after all I had been through. Not
after last night. Not after finally owning up to just how much I desired him.

“Try not to worry. You’ll be able to stay in touch with the phone—though you should
take some care not to call too often. Authorities are looking for you, which means
we’ll need to keep contact to a minimum until I can arrange for your return.”

That was a hell of a blow. Logical as the statement was, my heart still ached at the
thought of our impending separation. Only the knowledge that I wouldn’t just be putting
myself in a bad position, but that I might endanger Sara or his household, kept me
from arguing to stay.

“You had a point, earlier. It’s unfair of me to keep so many things from you.”

And the hits just kept on coming. I frowned at him, having to clear my throat a couple
of times before the raspy quality faded enough for my voice to be understandable.
“Is that a roundabout way of telling me there’s more bad news you were going to hold
off on sharing?”