Forsaking Gray (The Colloway Brothers Book 1) (15 page)

“No? But you didn’t even look at them, sir. Bonnie’s retiring in less than two weeks. You’re already really behind. I mean, we could always get someone from the temp agency, I guess, but—”

“I already have a replacement,” I interrupt.

Fifteen minutes later we have all the particulars hammered out, any opposition to my decision Camille kept smartly to herself. As she gets up to leave, instead of walking to the door, she edged around my desk. She looked nervous, running her index finger in quick circles across the shiny surface and I knew exactly what was coming.

When she cleared her throat, I decided to put her out of her misery, softly telling her, “Camille, I’m taken.”

A look of surprise, following quickly by disappointment crossed her face. “Oh. I didn’t realize. I didn’t know you were dating anyone.”

“It’s not common knowledge.” She nodded slightly, eyes flitting to the floor in embarrassment before spinning to leave. “Camille,” I called. She turned back and her cheeks were tinged a light pink. “For the record, even if I wasn’t available this could never happen. You’re an amazing HR leader and I’d hate to lose you over a failed relationship.”

Smiling, she replied, “Thank you, Mr. Colloway.”

After she closes my door, I look at the time. It’s already almost five o’clock. I want to get to Livvy’s by no later than seven, so I settle in for another half hour of work or so when my cell rings.

Lena
.

I debate on answering it but decide to let it go to voice mail. There’s nothing left to be said between us and I don’t want to come across as crass and rude, which I most certainly will if I have to listen to her pledge her undying love to me one more fucking time. A couple minutes later, my phone dings with a voice mail, which I promptly delete without listening to and not thirty seconds, it rings again.

My patience snaps, and I click accept, barking into the phone, “For the love of Christ, take a hint and stop calling me.”

“Jesus, asshole, take it down a notch,” my brother’s deep voice replies.

“Shit. Sorry, Conn. I thought you were someone else.”

“Well, I’m glad I’m not that someone else. Anyway, I was calling to confirm our dinner tonight with Wellman’s at eight o’clock and to ensure you’ll be there. Asher thinks your head’s so far up your ass you wouldn’t remember, but I assured him you would.”

Fuck
. I didn’t. Ash was right. And Conn was calling to make sure he didn’t lose.

“How much?” I asked.

“Five hundred,” he laughed.

“Wow. Five hundred, huh? That’s all I’m worth these days?” My brothers and I regularly make side bets on stupid shit. It started when we were young and would watch Fear Factor. Back then we could only afford to bet our allowance and, of course, it was on who could eat the most worms the fastest, or how long you could let Conn’s spider collection crawl on you. One time we bet how high in the air we could each bounce by jumping off the roof onto our trampoline. Ash ended up with a broken arm in three places on his turn when the whole front side gave way and he fell to the hard ground below. Our parents were less than happy, and our trampoline soon found it’s way to the local county landfill.

“I had to be conservative because, for once, I agree with Ash.”

Chuckling, I say, “Too bad. You could have cleaned Ash out this time, brother. I’ll be there. And I’m bringing a date.”

A heavy sigh comes through the earpiece. “Do I even need to ask who?”

“No. And I don’t need your shit either, Connelly, so leave it alone.”

“Right. See you at eight.”

“Yes, you will.”

Christ, this is not how I wanted to spend my evening with Livvy, but I can’t ditch this business dinner either. Wellman’s is a local investor group we’re tapping to discuss our next potential acquisition. So it won’t be an exciting night for Livvy, and maybe not even appropriate to bring her, but I can’t bear the thought of waiting until tomorrow to see her again.

In fact, I can hardly stomach the thought of being away from her for one single second, which is why I’m putting plans in place to remedy that. Slowly, but surely, I will entwine my life so tightly with Livvy’s, she won’t know where she ends and I begin. I will once again become an intricate part of her.

Emotionally.

Spiritually.

Physically.

I intend to make it impossible for her to walk away from me again. No matter the reason.

Chapter 18

“What’s that?” Addy asks, heading my way from the kitchen.

When the doorbell rang, my stomach dropped. Fear had wound its way into my every thought and action. As soon as I’d gotten home earlier, I closed all of the blinds so no one could spy on us from the outside. I’d refused to let Addy open them all day, but wouldn’t give her any explanation as to why. I’d even called Alyse to make sure she was okay, trying not to let her know I was worried out of my mind about her. Of course, she was fine. Maybe I’m overreacting. Maybe it wasn’t the same guy.

“I don’t know.” I’m standing at the door, with a very large cream-colored box. A beautiful thick silver ribbon is wrapped around it and the whole package screams mysterious. I asked the courier service three times if they were sure they had the right person and address. They assured me they did. I tried to tip them, but they said it had all been taken care of. Addy grabbed the box, carrying it to the kitchen table.

“Open it,” I whisper. I’m terrified of what I might find inside. Oranges? A horse’s head?

Jesus, Livia. The Godfather…really?

“You’re acting strange today, Livia.”

On the other hand, what if there really
was
something from my past in that box? I certainly did not want Addy to open it and prompt more questions.
Shit
.

“Never mind, I’ll do it.” I scoot her out of the way and tentatively grab the bow, pulling slowly like it’s a viper ready to strike if I move too quickly. I gingerly lift the lid of the box as if I expect there to be a decapitated human head on the inside, ready to shove Addy out of the way if I spot even a hint of blood.

But as the lid comes off I see none of those things. No oranges, no heads, no dark, thick red staining the inside. All I see is a beautiful, shimmery silver cocktail dress and a pair of matching, strappy heels along with a cream envelope that has ‘
Livvy’
scrawled on the outside.

“Holy fuck. Who sent this?” Addy asks. Now she’s the one pushing me out of the way to draw the sheath out of its soft tissue bedding. It’s short and sleeveless, with a plunging neckline. It’s simply stunning. The most beautiful dress I’ve ever seen. I immediately know who it’s from and now my stomach drops for an entirely different reason.

I quickly open the card and read the words that were handwritten by my long-lost love. Addy’s breath washes over my neck while she unashamedly reads over my shoulder.

My beautiful angel,

I hope you’ll forgive me that I

can’t honor my promise to give

you space. You see, I’ve been wandering

aimlessly in that dark, lonely void

since I last laid eyes on you, and I

don’t ever intend on going back. There

will be no space between us ever again.

Be ready by 7:30 p.m. I have a business dinner

at 8:00, and you’ll be accompanying me.

I can’t wait to see how fucking stunning

you’ll look both
in
this dress…and
out
of it.

All my love,

Gray

I gulp and feel a hot breath of desire between my legs at his very blatant claim. Addy screams, “Oh my God!” In. My. Ear.

“Shit, Addy, that hurt.” I grab my ringing ear with my free hand, but my other is shaking. My ears really are ringing, but it has nothing to do with Addy yelling and everything to do with Gray’s very suggestive message.

He’s taking you to dinner. Tonight.

He wants to be inside you again. Tonight.

He’s not letting you go. Ever.

Oh God.
I’m equally turned on and terrified at the thought of seeing him again after yesterday. I don’t know why I’m torturing myself, and him, by even entertaining the thought of going out with him, but God help me, I am. I should pick up my phone and call him to decline. But I don’t even know his number.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Before I can register what’s happening, Addy is dragging me into the bathroom and turning on the shower. She mumbles something about hair and makeup and thongs, but none of it’s penetrating.

I’m going to dinner tonight. With Gray.

I’m going to have sex again tonight. With Gray.

He still wants you to be his. Forever.

Suddenly my stained Color Run T-shirt is being pulled over my head and my sweatpants pool around my feet. “What the hell, Addy?” I grumble, shaking myself out of my thoughts. I step out of the navy blue fabric trapping me inside. I’m now standing in my utilitarian white bra and underwear while the hot steam from the shower fingers around us.

“Livia, you have less than one hour to get ready. If I have to, I’ll strip you bare and wash you myself. Granted, it would be weird, and a line crossed that our friendship may never quite recover from, because I don’t really care to either see or wash your coochie or touch your tits, but I’m a good friend, and that’s what friends are for. And I’ll do it if I have to.”

I stare at her with a look of pure horror on my face, I’m sure.
Wash my coochie?

She grabs me by the shoulders, shaking me. “I will not let you fuck this up. It’s obvious this guy is crazy for you and I know you’re still in love with him. No normal man sends an expensive dress and fuck-me heels from an exclusive boutique with a message that basically stakes his forever claim on you and tells you he wants to screw your brains out. It’s so obvious he’s madly in love with you, Livia.”

“There are so many things wrong with what you just said. You realize that, don’t you?” She laughs and I shake my head, still stuck on the coochie comment.

Stepping behind the shower curtain, I remove my undergarments, grab the sponge and quickly begin to wash. I already shampooed my hair earlier today, so I was out in short order and had barely dried off when Addy appears in the bathroom doorway again.

For the next forty-five minutes, she primped, plucked, curled, lotioned and spritzed me. She was a flurry of hands most of the time. And her mouth kept pace too. By the time she’s done, my ears are practically bleeding, but wow…the end result is worth it. My eyes are smoky, my cheeks flush with color and my lashes longer than I could have ever made them myself. She’d thrown my hair up in a messy, but sophisticated bun, leaving a few curled rings to frame my face.

“You look hot,” she said standing behind me in the mirror. “If I batted for the same team, I’d do you,” she winked.

I couldn’t help but laugh. I look up from my seated position, catch her eyes and smile. “Thanks, Addy.”

“My pleasure, babe.” We sit there looking at each other and I know something sappy is about to come out of her mouth. “I don’t know what happened, Livia, but you carry sadness around like a protective coat of armor and I think Gray is your chink. Let him in. You deserve to be happy. You deserve
love
. You know that, right?”

My eyes sting. She was right about the chink, but happiness? Love?
Did I deserve it?
I wanted to believe it. I wanted to grab hold of what was right in front of me, what Gray was offering, never let go and never look back again. But the truth is, I’m scared shitless. And
scarred
beyond repair.

Outside of Alyse, I was never unconditionally loved by another soul until the day I met Gray Colloway. My mother walked out when I was eight, unable to handle my father’s gambling and drunkenness. My father essentially sold me. And Peter told me every day how the only thing I was good for was a mediocre fuck and decent punching practice. I think I’ve convinced myself I don’t deserve to be loved. How can a single person go through most of their life without it and feel worthy when it stands right before them?

It took me a long time to accept it, to truly
believe
it the first time around from Gray, but I saw it still burning brightly when I laid eyes on him again, and that little flame I still carried for him all these years turned into a raging inferno. I just don’t know if I can take the chance to love with my whole being and lose again. I’d lost Gray once. It would destroy me to lose him again if he found out the truth. And I am terrified he will. How can he possibly understand why I chose to marry someone else? How could he ever forgive that betrayal?