Forsaking Truth (26 page)

“I see you moved
from the kiddie table to the grown-up section.”

Her brow tightened.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“He’s a little old for
you, don’t you think?”

“I think a lot of
things, Tristan. Lately I’ve been thinking about what an asshole you’ve been.”

His eyes narr
owed. “What are you doing with this guy, Shei?”

“Wouldn’t you like to
know?”

He took a menacing
step closer. “He’s old enough to be your father.”

She laughed,
tauntingly. “Oh, trust me, he treats me nothing like a child.”

Tristan’s jaw locked.
“Don’t say s
hit like that. It makes you sound like…”

“What? A whore? Funny,
when I walked right out of this bar—numerous times—with other men, right under
your nose, you didn’t seem to object.”

His lips thinned. “Did
you bring him here to piss me off?”

She gaped at hi
m, fire in her jade eyes. “Believe it or not, Tristan, I
brought him here because he makes me happy. Your reaction never crossed my
mind. Now, why don’t you go find my brother and get the fuck out of my way?”

She brushed past him
and he caught her arm. “I
don’t like him.”

She jerked her arm
away and glared up at him. “I don’t really give a shit what you like. For the
past six years you’ve made it clear you didn’t like
me
, so as far as what or who I’m doing,
you don’t get a say.”

He towered over her
and grow
led, “You’re not a slut. Don’t act like one.”

“Get away from her.”

Tristan stiffened.
Turning slowly, he found Alec standing in the hall, his glare drilling into
him. “You got a problem?”

Alec took a slow step
forward and pulled Sheilagh to his side, never
once
taking his eyes off Tristan. “I ever hear you use that word around her again
and
you
will be the one with a problem. I’m not
interested in some pissing match with some kid struggling with his identity. My
understanding is you made your choice years a
go.
Whatever you think you’re doing, think again. She isn’t a game you get to play
when you want to feel macho. I see you approach her again or manipulate her,
you and I are going to have to talk.”

It was amazing how
much it tore him apart hearing this guy come to Sheilagh’s defense. What was
happening to him? He would never hurt Sheilagh. This guy didn’t know their
past. It also hurt like hell to admit that he’d spent six years with Luke, who
didn’t
come to his defense, yet this guy that
Sheilagh had met recently came to hers. Didn’t
anyone
love him?

Rather than have some
sort of life crisis, he snapped, “You looking for a fight, old man?”

Nothing changed in
Alec’s cold expression, but he slowly shoo
k his head.
“I need not raise a hand to you in order to prove you are beaten.”

Tristan scrunched up
his nose. “What?”

“She’s not yours,”
Alec stated a bit more clearly. “She’s mine. Don’t disrespect her again.” With
that he took Sheilagh’s hand and left, l
eaving
Tristan standing there like a fool. He was a fool.

God damn it.

Tristan eventually
made his way back to the table. Sheilagh and the old guy were nowhere to be
found. Everyone was talking quietly which meant they were talking about
someone.

Tristan slipped into
his seat and picked up his beer. “What’d I miss?”

Finn sli
d back in his chair and whistled. “Do you think he
blackmailed her?”

“Who?” Tristan asked.

“The professor,”
Mallory said then turned to whisper to Sam.

“What professor?” What
the hell were they talking about?

“Alec!” They all said
at once.

Tristan stilled.
“He’s her fucking professor?”

“That’s what she told
me,” Kelly said, but he didn’t seem to think it was a big deal.

Tristan looked at Luke
who was frowning. “That fucking asshole. We’re definitely kicking his ass now.”

“Oh, give it a rest,
Tristan!” Luke
snapped and Tristan froze.

“No, I won’t give it a
rest. It’s unethical. He’s taking advantage of your sister. Man up,
Luke.”

Everyone stilled and
silently turned, staring at him.

The door opened. “Shh.
Here they come,” Colin said.

Finn—again—was the
first
to speak up. “You’re her fucking professor?” he
barked.

The couple froze and
Sheilagh scowled. Alec’s gaze traveled slowly over their faces. If he was
looking for an ally, he wouldn’t find one there. Luke shifted like a tiger
tethered with a very thin lea
sh. Even Colin had his
big brother scowl on.

“Why don’t you start
by telling us how it is our gifted sister nearly flunked your class, and finish
by explaining how you’re now sharing her bed?” Luke growled.

What?
That was news to Tristan.

“Hey!” Sheilagh
snapped. “Get out of your glass houses and I’ll give you
some rocks, but unless you can claim to have never seduced the town virgin,
turned your back on a commitment to God, or never hid who you are out of shame,
you can all shut the fuck up.”

A chair slow
ly dragged against the floor as Finn stood. “I didn’t do
any of that shit so I’ll be the first to say, we don’t take kindly to someone
coercing our baby sister. Nor do we take kindly to some outsider coming in and
starting shit with our friends.”

Tristan’
s mouth dropped. Finn looked so much like Luke. How he
wished those were actually his lover’s words, but they weren’t. Once again,
Luke was quiet.

He’d deal with his
partner later. For now Tristan turned his anger on the professor. “I think it’s
time you returned to Princeton,
professor.”

“All right, everyone
just chill,” Kelly said, standing from his seat and stepping between the couple
and the grou
p. “Sheilagh’s an adult.”

“Fuck that,” Luke
growled. “This entire situation reeks of unethical shit.”

Finally!

The girls glanced at
each other nervously and Samantha suggested, “Why don’t you guys ask Sheilagh
how she feels instead of jumping to conclusio
ns?”

“Yeah!” Mallory
snapped.

Tristan glared at
them. Whose team were they on?

Finn cut his wife a
look then turned his scowl back on his sister. “All right. Sheilagh, did this
asshole threaten to flunk you if you didn’t sleep with him?”

“That’s it!” Alec
snapped. “The entire lot of you can go to hell. Sheilagh
is an adult, god damn it. She and I resisted what we—and I said
we—
felt for each other as long as we
possibly could. Her grades and her personal life are none of your business. It
may not seem ethic
al, but I assure you my intentions
are nothing short of honorable. I love this woman and if you love her as well
you’ll all back off of her for a change, without judging her, or trying to
decide for her. She can decide for her God damn self!”

Holy fuck.

T
hank God Tristan was sitting down. Was it really that easy
for straight people? They said it was love and everything was suddenly
justified? His gaze cut to Sheilagh. Her expression was blank.

The professor turned.
“Sheilagh—”

Before he could get
another
syllable out, she snatched a set of keys off
the table and darted for the door.

“Hey! They’re my
keys!” Mallory shouted.

“You can’t drive anyway,” Finn told his
wife.

Alec turned back to
them. “Where the hell is she going?”

Tristan left his beer
and slipp
ed away while they argued. He went to his
truck as Mallory’s little car peeled out of the lot and he didn’t look back.

He followed her
taillights for about ten minutes until they finally reached McCullough property
and Sheilagh pulled over. When he parked
behind her,
she came tearing out of the little car. “What the fuck do you want?”

Tristan climbed out of
his truck and crossed his arms over his chest. “Are you all right?”

“No, I’m not all
right! I just stole a car and I’m fucking upset. How the hell does
that get confused with bloody all right?”

Gravel crunched as he
took three lengthy strides and gathered her in his arms. He was such an
asshole. He was dealing with his own issues and he’d pushed her buttons,
because for once she wasn’t feeding his ego. Wh
en had
he turned into such a needy, selfish prick?

She fought him for a
second then melted into his unbreakable hold and cried. He held her tight. “I’m
sorry, baby girl. I didn’t mean what I said.”

“I can’t take anymore,” she rasped.

“Shh. It’s okay.”

“N
othing’s okay!” she argued. “Everything is wrong. Why is
everything so damn hard?”

God, he wished he had
an explanation for her. “I don’t know.” He continued stroking her back. “Do you
love him?”

“I don’t know,” she
admitted quietly. “He makes me feel thin
gs, but I’ve
spent the last few years convincing myself I felt something else. Nothing makes
sense now.”

Yes, since she was
eighteen she’d been aware of the truth, but he was a prick. On the days that
Luke couldn’t handle what they were, Sheilagh was alway
s there, making him feel good enough. He’d done this to her, confused her
when he knew it was wrong, all so he could feel better about himself.

It was time to end it.
She deserved to be happy. “Shei, we have to stop. You have to stop expecting me
to be
something I’m not.”

“But sometimes you act
like…”

He sighed. “Maybe
because it’s easier to pretend. Sometimes I’m just a kid again, trying to be
what my family expected. Pretending I’m not gay is something I’ve always done,
but I never did it well. Eventu
ally everyone sees
through me, sees that I’m hiding something. And when they do, they’re angry I
wasn’t honest or angry I’m not straight and then they all go away. That’s how I
lost my family in Texas. That’s how I lost my childhood best friend. And that’s
why I fear losing all of you.”

He thought about his
fight with Luke earlier that day. Dalton was a big bastard and, while Luke
could easily destroy him, Tristan couldn’t. He was wrong to expect something
from Luke he couldn’t expect from himself. And Luke
wouldn’t always be there to protect him. This was all part of their reality,
whether he liked it or not.

“I love your brother,
but he isn’t ready to come out and honestly, neither am I. Center County isn’t
the most liberal place. I’m afraid if I push him
I’ll
lose him.”

“But why do you screw
with my head? I know I’m not imagining it. You say things and do things that
any woman would take as suggestive.”

He sighed.
Because
I’m a bastard.
“I just want the best for you. I’m fucked up. You’re gorgeous, sweet,
and since I met you, you looked at me with those hopeful
green eyes. Some days I wish I could be what you wanted. Some days it’s so much
easier looking in your eyes than his. Do you have any idea what it feels like
to look into your lover’s eyes, see utter
adoration
only to have it banked by swift regret, because part of him will always hate
that he loves you? It fucking hurts.”

“Doesn’t he know none
of us care if he’s straight or gay? We love him. We love you.”

He wasn’t sure who was
hugging who anymore. G
od, admitting these things
hurt. “It’s not a question of his family’s love. That’s a given. Luke has to
first love himself.”

They were quiet for a
few minutes, both thinking on things that were better left to contemplate
sober. After a while, she asked, “W
hy are you being
so nasty to Alec?”

He sighed and stepped
back. “It’s hard seeing you with him. I never saw you look at someone the way
you look at him. Those looks have been solely mine for so long, I don’t like
you giving them to some guy I don’t know. I
have no
idea if he’s just some piece of shit taking advantage of you. My instincts tell
me to protect you, because… I feel sort of responsible for the sadness I
sometimes see in your eyes. You look at him and I can tell you’re really into
him. He has the
ability to hurt you and I want to
prevent that from happening.”

She lowered her head.
“But there have been others.”

“None like him.”
Tristan walked to the front of his truck, brushed a leaf off the hood and
leaned against the bumper. He wished he could sit
down. He was suddenly very tired of it all. “He’s different. You’re different
around him. In some selfish way I feel like he’s taking you from us. You’ll
hate me for saying this, but knowing you were always there gave me hope that if
things didn’t work ou
t—”

“Don’t.” Her shoulders stiffened. “I’m
not your fallback girl. You’re gay, Tristan.
Gay.
You have a habit of making your issues
mine and I can’t deal with it anymore.”

He knew that, but…“But
what if I’m bi?” Some days were so hard he wished he could s
imply turn it off and be like everybody else.

“You’re in love with
Luke.”

Luke.

God, what would
eventually happen to him and Luke? He’d been so happy the day Luke agreed to
marry him, but part of Tristan worried that day might never come. Part of him
susp
ected Luke hoped the senate dicked around until
they were dead so he’d never have to face who he really was.

Tristan was so sick
and tired of the same uphill battle. “I’ve never been with a woman. There have
been other men, but…”

“He’s my brother,” she sa
id quietly.

“And I love him more
than I’ve ever loved any man.”

Tristan stepped close
and brushed a tear from her cheek. Sheilagh looked up at him with those big
eyes and he simply couldn’t walk away without knowing. He leaned in and slowly
traced his lips
over hers. She sucked in a breath as
he tilted his head closer.

Her lips were warm,
just like Luke’s, but different. Softer.

She jerked away, her
fingers covering her mouth. “Why did you do that?”

Fuck! What had he just
done? He looked away and mumbled t
he truth. “I needed
to see.”

“See what?” she
snapped.

He was pathetic. “If
it would change anything.”

“When will you come to
terms with who you are?”

“I’ve been asking
myself that since I was a boy. It’s hard. My parents hate what I am. There are
vicious p
eople in the world, Shei. It’s scary being
something others hate. You have no idea how easy your life is, being hetero.”