Fortitude (Heart of Stone) (4 page)

“Hang on!” Ava growled over her shoulder. “I need to
watch this.”

She twisted around until she was facing forwards, her
legs now straddled over my shoulders. “Right, carry on.”

I stared at her then shook my head in amusement. She
poked her tongue out at me before grabbing my hair and forcing my face back
between her legs.

Kade hissed and I knew we were back on as he pushed
against me, an obvious sign that his wife was now inside him.

“No!” Ava suddenly declared triggering a jerk of surprise
and a frustrated groan from each of us. “It’s no good. You’re all inside one
another. I need my pussy filling.” She slid down the sofa, her arse pushing
past my face as she squeezed her body between me and the sofa. “Move back, make
room for me.” She grumbled.

We all sighed but shifted to make room, each of us
silently chuckling at Ava’s antics. Her elbows rested on the sofa as her pretty
little arse swung in front of my face. “Okay, I’m okay now.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yep,” she looked over her shoulder to smile at me then
frowned. “But hang on, is that angle a little awkward with Kade in your arse?”

Kade sighed heavily behind me and I lowered my face to
hide my grin. “No Ava, love. Don’t worry, we’ll manage. As long as you’re
comfy, sweetheart.”

I rolled my lips when Grace let out a bark of laughter.
“We could always move into a circle and make a daisy chain,” she mocked.

“NO!” Kade and I shouted simultaneously.

“No, I’m comfortable.” Ava smiled back at us.

“Oh good,” Kade huffed. “Are we ready to fuck now?”

“Are you angry?” Ava asked as she narrowed her eyes on
him.

“Nooo, I’m just making sure you’re all nice and cosy.”

“You…”

“For Christ’s sake” I cut in, “Just fuck me.”

“Well, that’s what I’ve been waiting for too,” Ava sighed
but then smirked and winked at me.

She squealed when I bit her bottom and slapped it before
sinking my cock to the hilt into her snug, hot pussy. “Christ, every time.” I
hissed at the bliss that pulsed through every fibre in me. She groaned and
pushed her bottom against my pelvis, forcing me even further into her heat and
back onto Kade’s length.

He grabbed my hips and pushed himself deeper until we
were all so far in each other, there was no beginning and no end.

My body was humming, electrified at all the different
sensations storming my nerves and mind. Ava’s pussy grabbed at me, Kade’s cock
rammed into me, Grace’s sexy little moans filled the air as we fucked harder
than we ever had before. Sweat dripped down my face as my heart struggled to
cope with the adrenaline and arousal surging through my veins. My brain
shivered as pure rapture stole all sense and I swore I saw stars as my balls
exploded so powerfully I bucked violently and sank my teeth too far into Ava’s
shoulder.

She screamed in pure ecstasy as her orgasm ripped her
consciousness for a few seconds and her forehead hit the sofa. Kade yelled
something I didn’t understand as he thrust into me fiercely when he came with a
vengeance. And Grace, well she just choked out an ‘I love you too, you soppy
bastard’, so I presumed Kade had shouted he loved her.

We all collapsed in a heap on top of each other, Grace,
Kade and Ava laughing loudly. It wasn’t until Kade and Grace quietened that I
realised Ava wasn’t laughing.

Her sobs ripped through me with so much force the
pressure tore my throat as I tried to hold onto my own cries as I bundled her
up.

I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to help her. I
didn’t know how to make it all better. I didn’t know how I would get through
this.

And I didn’t know how to give my little warrior the
strength to fight with. I didn’t know how to take all her despair and turn it
into happiness.

But I did know that I would be right beside her, all the
way to the fucking end.

“Hey,” George smiled at me.

I smiled in return, etching his handsome face to my mind
as my heart warmed with his happy welcome. I had been nervous to visit him.
After all, it had been two years and I was scared he would still refuse me any
contact. “What are you doing here? It’s late.”

I nodded and perched on the bed beside him, taking his
hand and bringing it to my lips. “I just wanted to see you.”

“Is everything okay, mom?”

I nodded, “Everything’s fine. How are you feeling?”

“I’m good.” He tilted his head and studied me. “Mom, I
know you’re lying to me. What’s he done?”

I chuckled softly and shook my head, “He hasn’t done
anything. But I need a favour.”

His face grew serious when he picked up on my struggle.
“Anything.”

“I need you to let him in.”

“Mom…”

“Please, George. It’s important to me.” I took his hand
and held it between both of mine, clinging onto it for my life, silently
begging for him to concede to my wishes. “I’ve never asked you for a single
thing. I’ve supported you through everything, even when you got Etta pregnant.”
He winced and I hated myself for doing this to him but I needed this so much.
“But now I need you, George. Please.”

He was quiet for a while, his face blank as his eyes
roamed my face and tried to read me. Eventually he sighed and slid his fingers
through mine, “I don’t know what the hell is going on here. It’s three in the
morning, you turn up and beg me to see my dad. You’re the palest I’ve ever seen
you. Your skin is cold, yet you’re sweating and flushed. I’m not stupid mom, I
know when something’s up but I also know that I have never seen you this
serious, that’s why I know how important this is to you.”

He sighed but smiled, “I’ll see him for you, not him, but
I can’t promise you anything.”

“That’s all I ask, thank you.”

He nodded. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on?”

“I…” I swallowed the lump that had forced its way up my
throat. “I love you, George. I know life hasn’t been… easy for you, me and your
dad saw to that…”

“Mom…”

I shook my head to stop him. “No, I know how hard it has
been for you to accept the things of my past but you also need to know that
your father wasn’t to blame for any of it. Things happen in life none of us can
control, and the only thing to help us get through them is to find the courage
to let them go. You need to do that now, or you’ll never find your peace,
George. It will eat away at you until all that’s left is an empty shell that
will crumble in the wind. Bury the hatred before it buries you.”

He gazed at me for a while before he nodded, “Okay, I’ll
try but you need to do the same.” I frowned at him in confusion. “Debora isn’t
Rebecca, and Rebecca isn’t Debora.”

I smiled softly at him. “You love her very much.”

“I do,” he answered with a nod. “She loves me for all my
faults. Her life hasn’t exactly been easy either but she’s strong, the
strongest person I have ever known after you and the way she looks at me gives
me the strength that I need.”

“Then hold on to her, baby. Hold the fuck on as hard as
you can because I can promise you, when you have that love, the love that feels
like it could swallow you alive, then you need to absorb it into every single
fibre of your body, because one day, when life drags you into hell, the only
thing that will keep you fighting is that love.”

His smile was soft as he gripped my hand hard. “And you
found that love twenty years ago.”

“I did.”

And now it was my turn to hold onto that love as hell
dragged me under.

***

The cottage was cold but welcoming, the heart of her
already embracing me and accepting how this new relationship would be. I smiled
as though she could physically see me, as though she was already giving me back
the happy memories.

The children’s cries echoed in the silence, Mason’s
laughter and his loving words whispered to me as visions of the past danced
around me, their silhouettes saluting me and reminding me I was far from alone.

I turned up the thermostat, forcing the chill away. The
kitchen light flickered and the radiators gurgled but that just made this less
painful. She was faulty, like me, but we would both take those faults and
nurture them. Yet as a simple bulb would fix her, nothing would fix me. But she
knew that, and she still comforted me.

“Just you and me now girl.” I swiped the dust from the
window ledge as I peered into the moonlit garden, “Right up to the end.”

I walked up the stairs, smiling at the third step that
still creaked and then stood in the doorway to the bedroom.

He sat up and pulled me up so I was kneeling in front
of him. “You are so beautiful, Ava” he told me. Unease surged through me as I
saw his sad painful expression.

“From your soft curls” he stroked his fingers through
my hair. “To your smooth pale skin.” He trailed a finger across my shoulder
blade. “To your delicious breasts,” he brushed his thumb over the swell of
them. “To your striking green eyes.” He kissed each of my eyes. “To your
remarkable heart,” he leant forward and kissed my heart and then sat back and
cupped my face.

“That is why I’m setting you free, Ava.”

I fell to my knees, the shadow of my husband ripping open
my soul and crushing it to dust beneath it. However much pain he had caused me,
I had repaid tenfold. All he had ever done was love me too much, as I him.

And now it was time to end the pain I gave him. It was
time to let him go.

“That is why I’m setting you free, Mason.”

I shivered as the chill enveloped me then pulled the
covers up under my chin and turned to seek warmth from my wife.

“Aww,” I moaned when I found she’d already risen. The sun
was barely up and Ava was already organised. I grabbed her pillow and pulled it
against me, inhaling her sweet scent. Something tickled my nose and I
eventually opened my eyes, squinting at the light as it burnt my retinas.

I moved my head back to look at the white paper sticking
in my cheek. The harsh whiteness of the envelope slapped at me when I realised
what it was. I didn’t need to open it to know what it said.

My heart rate was threatening to propel my blood though
my pores as nausea swirled in my stomach, my gut bubbling as a huge surge of
acid blistered the lining.

“No.”

I shot off the bed, staring at the envelope as though it
would physically hurt me. My fingernails dug into my palm as I twisted my
hands, not knowing what to do with them. I’d rather chop them off than let them
open the thing sat on my bed mocking me.

I turned and yanked open the curtains, cursing as the sun
hit my face, its warmth taunting the chill that had seeped into my bones. “No.”
I repeated. It was all I was able to say, other words had formed and disintegrated,
the acid in my stomach gobbling them up as they slid back down my throat. “No.”

My back slid down the wall when my legs eventually gave
way. I drew my knees up and hugged them, forcing comfort from them. If I curled
so far into myself then maybe I wouldn’t have to deal with this shit. Maybe, if
I wished hard enough I could turn back time and stay awake all night, watching
her and readying myself to stop her leaving.

Maybe, fucking maybe. That was all I had, maybe… maybe,
fucking maybe.

I needed to hit. I needed oblivion. I needed my fucking
wife.

Gritting my teeth, I reached out and snatched the letter
from the bed. It seemed to literally burn the skin on my fingers as I stared at
it, her elegant scrawl saying my name, her unique scent evaporating off it in
waves and making my heart wrench.

I closed my eyes when I opened it, like it would prevent
the words from hitting me full force.

 I placed it on the floor beside me as I crawled across
the room and dug into my jacket pocket, pulling the small bag from inside the
lining of the pocket. Dipping my finger in and coating it with just enough to
steady my nerves, I spread it over my teeth and waited for the slight tingle to
hit my brain. I had promised myself no more but I needed it just this once,
just to give me the strength to deal with this.

The slight calm took over and I crept towards the item
waiting to laugh at me. I pulled the paper from the envelope and drew a breath.

Mason,

My love, please understand what I’m about to do. I
need you to be strong for me.

I need you to let me do this.

You are my world, my soul, my heart and you have to
believe that this is hurting me more than is bearable. But, more than that, I
don’t want you to witness this pain, nor do I want you to experience it.

 I would never forgive myself for taking your
beautiful smile away, or for tearing your soul apart when you witness this evil
eating away at me.

I always want to be your little warrior, yet now, I
can no longer be that and I never want you to see my weakness and fear. I will
never allow that.

Although we are apart, I know you will be with me,
always. Entirely and wholly, as you always promised, as I will be with you.

I need you to let me go. I need you to free that part
of me that is inside you, liberate the part of my soul that you have kept for
safe keeping. It’s time now, baby.

It’s time to remember what we had before this illness
ruins our memories, and turns them septic. Because they will. My death will
forever be with you and I couldn’t bear for those memories to take away the
happy ones.